Jack is Definitively Back!

Anybody who knows anything about me knew I was going to write about the return of my favorite terrorist bane, Jack Bauer, last night.  More on that momentous occasion later as we head into the pivotal playoff game between the Bruins and the Canadiens tonight.  This series has typically descended into the emotional donnybrook everybody hoped for.  The Canadiens are playing their parts as the petulant whiny boys while the Bruins try to cast themselves as the aggrieved party.

The cool thing is both teams are playing great hockey even given the punk level from the Canadiens.  My brother in law posted an interesting piece about former player/goon Chris Nilan who played for both teams and said all the noise about favoritism shown by referees for Montreal was fictitious.  I liked that he said people should stop blaming the refs and just play the game.  ( see at:  http://www.csnne.com/boston-bruins/chris-nilan-idea-refs-will-favor-habs-crap)

I think the Canadiens are basking in all the media they’re receiving during the series.  They’re a huge deal north of the border but that’s being a big fish in a small (population wise) pond.  Now they’re in the middle of a major US media market and are playing the villain role to the hilt – fun.  The beard must emerge victorious tonight!

Bruins Beard - Week 3

I returned home last night to find the wife huddled around the kitchen table with fellow members of the Panamanian Mafia.  One of them is about to become a first time grandmother (tough for the wife to tolerate that).  My wife was helping the future grandmother with party favors for an upcoming baby shower.  Since I did not want to participate in that riveting conversation I headed outside to start chipping away at the mulch mountain deposited in the driveway.  Buddy provided vigilant security against any unprovoked squirrel attacks while I worked. 

Buddy Ensuring its Safe for Me To Approach the Mountain

Then came Jack!  My wife could not believe I was so excited for the reappearance of my favorite TV hero when the tell-tale countdown began signalling the return of 24.  Jack’s been gone for over four years now and while his capabilities are at the science fiction level of believability – he’s just such a dude!  The first two hours did not disappoint although he didn’t kill anybody until the second hour which in itself was a bit shocking.  I had his personal body count at four (if the drug dealer bleeds out) plus about a dozen bruised CIA operatives who thought they could take on ultimate warrior.

Jack and Chloe Last Night

I hope they don’t take his edge away and make him cuddlier (read politically correct).  Jack’s been off the grid for a few years and re-emerges to save Chloe who’s become a Wikileaks type hacker.  While he’s at that he’s also going to save the US President who’s visiting London while avoiding capture by Chuck and Dexter’s girlfriend.  The bad guys look sinister and I’m sure the insurance rates for central London will skyrocket by the end of this.  Welcome back Jack, you were missed.  In honor of Mr. Bauer’s return I present some time honored Jack Bauer truisms: 

Jack Bauer once stepped into quicksand. The quicksand couldn't escape and nearly drowned.

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

Jack Bauer was once charged with attempted murder in Los Angeles County, but the judge dropped all charges because Jack Bauer never "attempts" murder.

If you are still verbally capable of telling Jack Bauer that he is hurting you, then trust me, he isn't.

Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes.

If Jack Bauer had been a Spartan the movie would have been called "1".

It takes you 24 weeks just to watch what Jack Bauer does in a single day.