Frail Deeds Dancing: April 2020

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Sound Bitten

I used to be a prodigious consumer of news. I read a newspaper daily and relied on the evening television news to keep up to speed on what was going on. As I’ve said in prior posts I’ve become really disillusioned with television news over the past few years. Instead of accurately and succinctly reporting facts we seemed to have devolved into the age of sound bites. Every major story has to include a human interest interview with someone affecting by whatever that news story is concerned with. Looked at objectively this means we’re hearing one person’s experience with something that likely is affecting thousands, if not millions.

FBR Escaped the House!

Hitting the Pavement

The best example I can give you is the default interview with a survivor of a tornado, standing outside where their mobile home used to be. With today’s coverage of the coronavirus we’re getting the first hand individual sound bites almost constantly but this takes time away from the more important societal impacts and, God forbid, any other news. This results in a very subtle but very real editorializing of the news, telling a story instead of reporting the news.

Socially Distanced Play Date

A great illustration of the danger of this comes from a battlefield. A private in a front line unit that is getting its ass kicked would think the battle is lost because he wasn’t aware of the larger scheme in which his side was winning decisively. We’re now getting our news in the same way we would by looking at an aerial photo through a soda straw. The problem obviously is who is deciding what part of the photo the soda straw is pointed at. Maybe we should all go back to depending on newspapers again, at least the online versions. We may be seeing the death knell of television news.

BRS Reacting to an Early Morning M&M

The sun finally returned to the eastern seaboard yesterday which was certainly welcome, especially down in New Jersey. The FBR was able to escape the house with Wingman for a walk around the neighborhood which they both really needed. They even had a brief, socially distanced play date in the front yard of one of her best buddies. My Favorite Panamanian’s package of her first ever batch of macaroon cookies along with some face masks arrived. The FBR promptly broke the strap on her Disney princess one but that can be easily repaired. My wife’s cookies were a big hit. I kind of knew that was coming because she polished off all the ones she didn’t give away in a couple days.

BRS Helping Dad with Breakfast Prep

The BRS continues to provide the bulk of comedic relief we get each day. She’s a very strong willed young lady and very bright. I laugh when I think what my son and the ABFA will face during her teenage years. She seems to get the concept of potty training but not the details. While we were Facetiming yesterday she told her dad she wanted to go to the potty and started pulling down her pants. This was exciting news until my son noticed she had a fragrantly full diaper already. The BRS however would not consent to a diaper change before getting on the potty. We left the call while negotiations continued between the two of them.

007 Progress

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

BR3 – inbound granddaughter #3, BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd musquetera (musketeer); Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Familial Impact and Blanket Forts

I’ve written before about the group of cousins generated by my father and his remarkable siblings. They were an integral piece of the fabric of my early life. That was sundered to a certain degree with my parent’s divorce and my subsequent Army career. One of the very best parts of retiring from the military was reconnecting with them on a more regular basis. We’re all getting up there in age and five of us have departed the realm so far. We have a daughter of my father’s oldest sister, who I refer to as the Cousin-in-Chief, who keeps us updated on family events. She and I kid each other that I cringe every time I get an email from her because it usually carries required, but bad news.

My Cousin as a Young Man

Yesterday was no exception as she reported that one of the cousins was in grave condition with Covid-19. He’s been confined to a long term care facility for a number of years from the after effects of a very serious car accident. In recent years he’s developed respiratory issues so he’s in the worse possible shape to fight this off. He was part of the “older” cousins growing up but I have fond memories of him from a week I spent with his family at “Uncle Bud’s” cottage in Harrisville, NH in 1969. He taught me while we were there how to split fire wood with a wedge he’d made himself in a shop class. I felt honored as one of the younger cousins being taken under the wing of one of the much cooler older ones. I hope he wins his fight because I’ll feel diminished if another part of that fabric is rent.

The ABFA Blanket Fort

I think this virus has been around a lot longer than most of the politicos are willing to admit; mostly because it would make them look like jackasses. Great Aunt shares that opinion. She works in the health care industry and thinks she may have even had it already. She was unable to attend the BRS’ birthday back in early February because of a very bad cold, which she dutifully passed on to Soxfather. She was talking with her doctor last week and he suggested she probably had Coivd-19 before anyone was looking for it.

A Very Happy BRS Inside her Fort

Speaking of the BRS, the ABFA has joined in the family tradition of living room blanket tent/fort construction. She and my Favorite Son split the day between them for child care duties since they’re both working from home. Yesterday under the watchful construction supervision of the BRS the ABFA built a totally awesome blanket fort based on the BRS’ trampoline. The BRS was so impressed when my son took up the child care duties in the afternoon he (or at least his head) was required to spend a full half hour inside the fort with the BRS.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Monday, April 27, 2020

Temper Fray

After the momentary, but exceptionally welcome, high that came from our brief visit to New Hampshire to deliver face masks, the rest of the weekend sunk back into the quarantine blues. I finished the first jigsaw puzzle while in the zone. It’s something I should have started a long time ago as I have a bunch from Christmas still unopened. It was a bit of a pain as it was one of those puzzles where multiple pieces will fit in the same space. That becomes a huge pain in the butt when you come to the sky which is virtually all the same color. I approached what I thought as the triumphant finish when I was left with two pieces that obviously didn’t fit into the two remaining spaces. An inch close inspection of the surrounding area revealed a couple places that might have been wrong and fifteen minutes later I finally had it together. Yet another survival story from the quarantine zone.

FBR and her Cake
Sprinkle Overload

Completed Puzzle

My Favorite Panamanian descended into the Man Cave because she was jonesing for shopping. Seeing a granddaughter in person on Saturday must have ignited that passion as well as an offhand comment from my daughter that the FBR was outgrowing a lot of her clothes. Abuela to the rescue as I got an hour long experience on the Carter’s toddler clothing site. I’m still needed when she makes these shopping forays into the electro-magnetic spectrum. She noted this requirement and said it was time for her to learn how to shop online. Terror seized my heart.

BRS Garbed up for a Saturday Photo Shoot

There was a little bit of tension when we talked to the New Jersey contingent last evening. I got the distinct impression that, cooped up in the house all day by rain, the FBR had tested her parents’ limits to the extreme. She also didn’t nap which definitely exacerbated the situation. I reminded Wingman of the calming words he used on me after I wanted to kill their cat, Pee Wee, after a very long night in a hotel room while they were moving to New Jersey a few years ago. On the up side the FBR helped my daughter make a cake. When I asked the FBR what her favorite part of that experience was, she replied, “the licking”. Never underestimate the importance of this vital phase of frosting cleanup.

BRS Ready for her Closeup

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Sunday, April 26, 2020

Distance Shrink Socially

We played a trick on my Favorite Son and his family yesterday. During our family Facetime call for First Friday (a huge success that will become a standard over the coming pandemical weeks) we told him we received notice that the face masks my Favorite Panamanian had made for them would be delivered on Saturday. My son has been working from home for the past weeks but as Vermont started to allow some construction to start up he has to travel there this week to check on one of his projects. My wife didn’t want him leaving the house without a mask and didn’t want him relying on his stated plan – a bandana.

The BRS on the Road Saturday Morning

What we didn’t specify was the delivery method. My wife spent all of Friday night prepared some of his favorite food dishes which we added to the cache of macaroon cookies she created over three days. We pulled into his driveway and I called him to say we received notification the masks had been delivered. Since he didn’t come to the door at that point I turned the camera around to show him we were outside.

Favorite Panamanian Maintaining her Distance
Much Tougher than it Looks

We maintained social distance from each other which was very tough when the BRS made her appearance. She is very huggable. The BRS was a little taken aback at first since we were wearing masks but she soon figured out who we were and she proceeded to entertain us by jumping all around her daddy’s feet and charging around the front yard. The ABFA appeared serene closing in on her ninth month. We had her check out the new car since that is one of the candidates they are considering in the next year. Of course the BRS leaped at the opportunity to assist with her technical expertise.

Jumping in Delight

We only stayed for fifteen minutes since I’m not sure how much longer we could have resisted hugging one of them. We later learned the BRS was very upset that we had to leave. It was a nice escape from the quarantine zone, jigsaw puzzles, and the Man Cave on a beautiful spring day. My Favorite Panamanian had worried we wouldn’t be allowed into New Hampshire but I assured her we hadn’t reached that point. Yet. Despite my bravado I was a little nervous approaching the birder but no SS troops in evidence.

Wife in her Macaroon Production Facility

Results

A Serene ABFA

Ladies Checking out the Car

We had a very fun time with the FBR this weekend. She continued her quest to do a wakeup call with us. She called around 9am yesterday and was disappointed to find us already up and about. We planned another try this morning and I promised her I would stay in bed until she called (the sacrifices grandparenthood calls for). I was actually dreaming about the call when my IPad cooked off just after seven thirty this morning.

BRS Upset that we had to Leave

She was extremely pleased to have woken us up but one of her first questions was why we were still in bed. She was even more pleased when I told her we were only complying with her directions. She offered a blistering assessment on my chosen sleep attire, a t-shirt, which I have to admit compared poorly with her Princess Rapunzel gown. It was a great way to start the day.

Prior to our Arrival the BRS Took her Parents on a Long Walk

Such a Character

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Friday, April 24, 2020

Idiocy on Display

There seems to be a small percentage of people out there protesting the virus restrictions. The latest polls say the percentage of people who disagree with the needed restrictions is less than 20% which means the protesters are an even smaller percentage. Before self-important liberals leap to their default accusations, the poll tracked the same percentage across party lines. Of course the protests gets main stream media coverage instead of labeling what it is – a fringe movement. This is part of my long term problem with the major news media outlets. They give major coverage to what amount to a small bunch of idiots deciding to provide definitive proof of their stupidity. Instead they are purveyed as a major push back against quarantine policy, something that is just not true.

BRS - Post Cinnamon Roll

I think we should engage these protesters as a useful tool in the fight against the virus. We should make them the initial test pool for President Trump’s suggestion yesterday that we inject Lysol into our veins to fight the virus. Can someone please explain to me how this buffoon ended up in charge? If nothing else we should be given a prima facie case to see Darwin’s theory of natural selection at work. Regrettably the true heroes of our time, the health care workers, will be exposed while these failed specimens are ushered out of the gene pool.

Why is Dad Laughing?
Eating Down from the Top is the Best

Back home my daily personal decontamination process has evolved into a routine. My Favorite Panamanian hears the garage door open heralding my return and runs to pull all the window blinds before I emerge from the decon site (the laundry room) having divested all of my work clothes. It’s become something of a competition each day to see who gets done first. So far she way ahead on points so the neighbors have not had their eyes seared watching me bound up the stairs sans vestments.

Dad You Should Try it This Way

I love Cinnamon Rolls!!

The granddaughters provided their daily morale boost via Facetime yesterday. The BRS continued potty training and even divested her diaper this time. She then demonstrated the proper way to bathe while still accompanied by a legion of toys. My son reports for the first time she is letting him wash her hair without a major fight. As evidenced by the accompanying pictures the BRS has also taken up the family tradition of devouring cinnamon rolls. I remember from my earliest days competing with my sisters to get the coveted middle roll from the set my mother prepared on so many Sunday mornings. The BRS, as is her wont, has employed a new technique of eating down from the top. This insures liberal application of frosting to her face.

FBR Reading to her Fire Lizard

The FBR has fallen in love with the new toy, a fire lizard that lights up, her grandparents had delivered to her yesterday which insured a continued stream of gifts in the future. It’s a grandparent thing. The FBR even read a bedtime story to the fire lizard. In keeping with today’s august significance – the First Friday of the Week, we hope to honor it with another family group FaceTime call, along with appropriate libations. We hope to include Soxfather and Great Aunt to the group this week. First Friday Lives!!!

Quarantine Fashion Statement

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Re-Arranged

Life continues apace in the quarantine zone. It’s a bit ironic after a life of secretly loving really bad, sci fi B movies that I find myself firmly imbedded in one. It’s almost as if society has come to a collective halt as everyone has retreated to their bunkers. I’ve come to look at work as a relief since I get to venture out of the house and see something different each day. My Favorite Panamanian is not so fortunate so she has, in the absence of a working sewing machine, decided to rearrange the furniture. This included the movement of one of her massive house plants. We probably should have contracted a crane but we somehow managed to move the beast from the dining room to the living room.

FBR on Neighbor's Trampoline

The BRS was especially charming last evening. She demonstrated her ability to jump several times on the couch before executing a less than graceful prat fall which had us in stiches. She couldn’t help herself and laughed in delight each time she fell onto the cushions. Our laughter was all the motivation she needed to repeat the performance at least a dozen more times.

Her cousin, the FBR, was at least equally entertaining. She’s decided there are certain elements of her conversations with her parents that must remained classified. She’s taken to whispering in their ears during our calls so that vital information is not shared with her grandparents who are not read on for access to this information. My daughter broke operational security and revealed one of the FBR’s state secrets was the game they were going to play after dinner.

Proud Owner of New Fire Lizard

The quarantine has not impeded my ability to spoil my granddaughters. During our group FaceTime call last week the FBR noticed the BRS has a fire lizard doll from the latest Frozen movie. Grandparents are a little like Pavlov’s canine friend. All I had to see was the FBR’s desire for the item and my automatic response was to head for Amazon with credit card in hand.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Training Never Ends

Since we had another ferocious rain storm yesterday I made another foray to the grocery store. I’ve found that is the best time to go since most sane people stay home during these storms which means – no crowding. The system worked perfectly but I learned another lesson of the many the virus has bestowed upon us. Tuesdays are not a good day to hit the grocery stores. It may be they are during normal times but 2020 qualifies as anything but normal. I found most of what I was looking for but there were more vacant shelves than I’ve seen since the start of this adventure.

And so, It Begins

Speaking of adventures, as you can see from the photo above, the BRS has embarked on toilet training. This would seem to be an opportune time to engage in this activity with next month’s arrival of BR3. The training might have gotten off to a slow start though as my son reports the BRS still had her diaper on while seated for the photo. She may not understand the concept yet; well, baby steps. I remember the days when I had two kids in diapers and it is not for the faint of heart and led directly to my daughter’s toilet training.

My Favorite Panamanian has been cutting out the forms in material for future face masks while awaiting the arrival of her new sewing machine. I’m decidedly less productive. When I’m not chasing squirrels away from the bird feeder I am inevitably in the Man Cave. I’ve continued my first quarantine jigsaw puzzle and relearned what a consummate devourer of time these things are. I also knocked off the next in the James Bond series. I’d forgotten how silly the later Roger Moore ones got.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Burned Up

All of you out there who were genuinely worried about my failure to conduct a backyard fire can now rest their collective angst. Due to a fortuitous sewing machine breakdown my Favorite Panamanian consented to join me in the wind free back yard last night for the delayed immolation. Since it was a school night there was no beer involved which was the only downer. I was also keeping an ear cocked in case my hyper-sensitive neighbor called the fire department again. As you can see my wife took no chances as to exposing herself to the elements but I appreciated the time out there together and I could still glimpse her eyes. I’m convinced there’s a human gene linking back to our primordial days that makes staring into a fire soothing. Or I could just be a less than latent pyromaniac, toss up there.

Happy Pyro Last Night

The sewing machine breakdown was the big news in the house last night. She’d been laboring diligently over the past two weeks creating face masks for the family. We were both trying to remember how old the sewing machine was but neither of us could remember. My best guess was that I bought it for her when I was stationed at Ft Leavenworth, Kansas back in 1992-3. That means the machine was almost thirty years old which means it is ready for a coup de grâce. That failure launched us on a search for a new one. I thought it would be easy but apparently there are a lot of people sewing masks because nearly every place we checked was backordered until August. Against all my wife’s edicts, this being classified as an emergency, we donned masks and ventured out to the nearby Wal-Mart but they were sold out as well. I finally found one this morning that will be delivered next week.

My Favorite Panamanian Braving Arctic Conditions

The only granddaughter contact we had yesterday was with the FBR. She was very talkative for once and we got into a discussion about movies (talk about my wheelhouse!). When I asked her what movie she wanted to see next she said she had one in mind but that she wanted to see the trailer for it first. Talk about an apple falling not far from a tree (yes, daughter – I’m talking about you). I’ve actually falling back on movie watching now that I’ve started my first quarantine jigsaw puzzle combined with service as a sewing machine search engineer but I did knock out another 007 movie last night.

007 Progress

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Monday, April 20, 2020

Burned Out

I had a great plan for yesterday. The temperatures soared into the high 50s and Deckzilla shed all of its remaining snow cover by noon time. Getting my Favorite Panamanian to venture outside before the temperatures reach 70 is always a daunting task, but again, I had a plan. I prepped a fire in our outdoors fireplace and moved a couple chairs nearby, figuring I could light it around dusk and coax her out with wine. That was the plan. I didn’t say it was a good plan, but it was definitely a plan.

It Was Also a Beautiful Day in NJ
The FBR Had her Family Out and Solitarily About

I was grilling some dead animal flesh for dinner when I noticed the winds were picking up. My back yard is something of a wind tunnel and the fireplace sits in the middle of it. While this does wonders for oxygenating a fire, it carries with it the possibility of spreading sparks into neighbors yards all too easily. Since one neighbor is already convinced of my pyromaniacal tendencies I decided last night wasn’t appropriate, although it would have done my soul well to send a couple sparks her way. My wife was hard pressed to hide her joy of not having to leave heated confines. She remained sequestered in her sewing station in the master bed room turning out face masks for the family. I was called upon to assist her in lubricating the sewing machine which I was clueless about but we got the overworked (lately) machine operational despite the Singer company’s best efforts at making access screws completely inaccessible.

Wingman, an Accomplished Skateboarder
Passing on Skills to a Very Excited FBR

The rest of the time was spent in the Man Cave where I continued my march through the 007 movies, a new season of Bosch, and a Netflix series called The Ranch. I’m beginning to reach saturation level with television watching during this quarantine. Who thought that was even possible. I may be breaking out some jigsaw puzzles. I’m into the Roger Moore secton and he really does pale in comparison to Mr Connery, the once and always Bond.

Bond Progress

During out call with the FBR yesterday she was bemoaning the fact that we couldn’t visit and she therefore missed out on the opportunity to wake me up in the morning. I volunteered to have my IPad next to the bed and she excitedly looked forward to awakening me. She missed both yesterday and this morning. My daughter says the FBR gets distracted when she gets up each day. She was visibly angry during our call that she missed out on the opportunity. My wife was laughing at me because I always bounce out of bed in the morning when I wake up (bounce may be an exaggeration). She sometimes asks me to stay in bed and continue my designated role as bed warmer but I always refuse. She was laughing because all my granddaughter had to do was ask and I complied.

Finally I’ve updated my itinerary for my 48 state tour (see map) which I still have faint hopes of accomplishing this summer, as long the plague has been vanquished by then. Some of my time in the Man Cave has been at the computer using Google maps to check out the route. I was able to zoom in on each turn and see the actual street signs I’ll have to follow. This only whetted my appetite for the trip as I saw so much of what awaits me on the tour.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Saturday, April 18, 2020

First Friday Redux

My complaints about the lack of a proper celebration of the First Friday of the Week were answered last night. The Favorite Panamanian and I were celebrating last evening when we asked the kids if they wanted to join in a group FaceTime call to join in the celebration. The FBR and BRS were also part of it in the beginning but they quickly tired of hearing the grownups trying to talk over the obviously more important subjects they were interested in. Once again, it was so cool hearing all the voices – Daughter, Wingman, Son and ABFA. We tried to get Great Aunt and Soxfather involved but they were otherwise engaged with of all things, work. Very un-Fridaylike.

Back Yard This Morning

That was followed by the promised dancing session with the spousal unit. It was the first time we’ve danced since before Christmas which constitutes one of the longest hiatus we’ve ever had. At least when we’re in the same location and I wasn’t running around the world with well-armed friends or she wasn’t wintering in Panama. I discovered the weight I dropped since Christmas was noticeable as the knee didn’t bark at me very much.

I awoke this morning to find four inches of snow on the ground which might be the biggest snow fall since December. I’m guessing Someone didn’t get the memo that it is currently almost May. My wife was using this as part of the construction of her political platform campaigning for a longer stay in Panama next year. At least I got in a bona fide First Friday celebration last night thanks to the greatest people in my life.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

RECURRING CHARACTERS

BR3 - Granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd musquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting the real thing; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latin friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues