De-Twitercizing

The Turn Over Gal and her Soon to be Quarry

Both of my children look at me askance at times for refusing to fully embrace the complete spectrum of social media outlets available. They’ve gotten me on Facebook and hell I’m even writing a blog (in case you hadn’t noticed) but that’s about as far as I’m going. I’d like to take aim at Twitter and ask why we need it. I don’t believe the world would be any poorer if we weren’t exposed to the random thoughts of, well basically everybody. I know without a doubt we would be better off without a certain twitter account currently based at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue but that’s too easy.

By allowing everyone’s personal demons to fully express themselves a lot of pre-technological illusions are shattered. It’s awfully tough to root for certain athletes and other celebrities when they declare themselves to be functional idiots; although that hasn’t seemed to hurt any of the Kardashians yet. I do find it amazing how many of these celebrity twitter accounts are hacked just for the purpose of putting inappropriate, and acumen level revealing, tweets out there.

Roseanne is the latest celebrity to be outed by herself and as a result hundreds of people affiliated with her show have lost their jobs. One could argue that the world is better off without a hidden racist dominating the airwaves which begs the question as to exactly how hidden it was in the first place. Noted British philosopher Montgomery Python had it right when they held the Upper Class Twit of the Year competition (one of the funniest comedy sketches ever made). Every time I hear about a Twitter fail, that sketch, somewhat appropriately, pops into my head.

On an exceedingly more positive note I got to speak with both granddaughters last evening. The FBR was fighting a case of sniffles which made her less than communicative. She wouldn’t react to even my most humorous facial contortions. The news was much better up in New Hampshire where my Favorite Son reported the BRS had finally solved her arm tuck issues and succeeded in turning over, something she has been trying to do for weeks. Once accomplished, she did it three more times. Parents of young children will realize this is the first step in starting to crawl which will make life exceedingly interesting for her parents, not to mention a certain golden retriever. Riggins’ days of peaceful, uninterrupted  naps could be numbered.

Solo and the Master

I connected with two very old friends that I’ve never met yesterday. On the surface that statement makes no sense until you understand the extent my imagination will go to enjoy both the written word and, of course, cinema. I come to regard favorite authors (and their characters) as old friends whenever I acquire one of their new book to read. In the same fashion movie characters are graded as stalwart companions of my youth and later. This latter category is greatly assisted in the sequel crazed environment Hollywood has dwelled for the past couple decades.

The wife, I, and Keene Friend took in Solo, A Star Wars Story last night. Han Solo emerged in the original trilogy as the surprising star, out shining both of the Skywalkers, for most fans. This was due mainly from the undeniable screen presence of Harrison Ford. Alden Ehrenreich is certainly no Ford but is serviceable although I found myself searching for the sparkle you expect from Han. The film labors to establish Solo’s origins and I found myself squinting at the screen for the first fifteen minutes which were murky for some, I’m sure artistic, reason. We had a group of Star Wars fanatics in the row in front of us who would clap excitedly whenever a piece of Star Wars lore appeared, such as Han’s blaster. I guess that makes me a geek also because I understood each time what they were clapping for. The film truly takes off when Han and Chewbacca meet, hilariously. This was a true action adventure with some startlingly effective action scenes. The cast was uniformly awesome especially Donald Glover as Llando. I could truly imagine him evolving into Billy Dee Williams. I’m sure they’ll be some who will pick at this for a variety of obscure reasons but it was a lot of fun as I found myself silently clapping along with my fellow geeks in that row in front of us.

My other old friend has been a boon companion for even longer than Han Solo and whenever I refer to him it is as the “Master” for the well-earned awe his work always renders. Stephen King’s latest book, The Outsider, will not dim his star in my pantheon of literary heroes in the least. He takes a heartbreakingly tragic, all too common, everyday situation and injects the supernatural to send the creepiness meter off the scale. A young boy is brutally murdered in an Oklahoma small town and the local baseball coach is almost immediately arrested due to a mountain of evidence pointing at him. The coach however was clearly more than a hundred miles away when the murder took place and can prove it. The Master brings his characters to life as they eventually come upon the well-hidden trail leading them to a nightmare creature. He even brings back one of my favorite characters from the Mr. Mercedes series of books, Holly. She’s called in to help and provides a well-needed push for the investigators trying to figure out what they’re facing. I once again bow in the direction of Bangor, Maine where the Master has lost nothing off his fastball.

Multi-Station Weekend

BRS Learning Hair Pulling from Abuela

I’m still trying to wrap my mind around all that’s passed since I last scribbled in Frail Deeds. We had a new wall, a new knee, a Latin Mafia blow out, a significant birthday, duck races, and I-95 on a holiday weekend. That’s a lot of action to summarize and while I will fail in capturing the entirety of the activities and the truly excellent people involved – let it be said that the weekend was epic by any reasonable standard.

Wall Work on Saturday

With my Son

After an appropriate waiting period following the First Friday celebration my wife and I entered the traffic flow heading north to my Favorite Son’s house where the wall project awaited us. The wait was productive as we didn’t hit any significant traffic. My son and I jumped on the wall first thing in the morning because we had another one of those pesky thunderstorms predicted for the afternoon, exactly as last week. The weather certainly had turned with temps in the high 80s along with some depressing humidity. We hit our stride though and by the end of the day we had completed the entire bottom row of the wall. We were encased in dirt but I truly reveled in the time spent with my son. Riggins once again volunteered to supervise but his sole contribution was defecating in a spot close enough to guarantee to add to the olfactory pleasure of the work.

Dirty Pair at End of Saturday Work

Out of Bricks on Sunday

My wife immediately immersed herself in the abuela zone and squired the BRS around at every opportunity. The ABFA’s folks came up for the afternoon and it was great hanging out with them again. The ABFA put her dad to work cleaning out the garage while my son and I were tasked with hanging a garage shelf after the wall work was done for the day. As the storm bore down we returned inside. I was allowed some granddaughter time after a well-earned and decidedly necessary shower to cleanse the grime off.

BRS Proclaiming she is a Red Sox Fan

As if there was Any Doubt

Beer tastes so much better after a day of physical labor on a hot humid day. My son provided an excellent after work environment and the BRS learned how to pull out hunks of her daddy’s hair assisted by her abuela. We ended up watching several episodes of the first season of Cheers which remains my favorite TV show ever. While it is obviously dated it still produced a lot of laughs from the assembled family.

Great Aunt Getting Discharged with New Knee

We checked in with Great Aunt who was discharged home from the hospital after receiving yet another new knee on Friday. Soxfather was performing duties as an ad hoc orthopedic nurse, most of which involved insuring Remy, their overly enthusiastic lab, didn’t damage the new knee. My sister reported a lot more pain this time around than she remembered. For her to admit pain is something that would fell a much larger, younger man. We caught up with her on Sunday and she got through the worst of it through chemical assistance and was progressing at her usual, hasty recovery rate.

Cordoned Off from Remy (l) at Home

Sunday morning had both my son and I back out on the wall. I told him once the bottom row was in and level that the wall would fly up. His doubts were eradicated as it did just that. In less than two hours we had exhausted his complete supply of wall bricks – two huge pallets. It will take at least two additional pallets to complete the wall but you can now get a sense of what it will look like and the reviews (critically from the project originator – the ABFA) were uniformly positive. It really will look nice and as my son said it will be a constant and very nice reminder each time we pull into the driveway of the time we spent together putting it up.

We left shortly after noon for our trek into Maine, but not before my wife acquainted herself with a local garden center. I slept off some of the day’s physical labor while my Favorite Panamanian acquired yet another rose bush which spent the rest of the weekend in the back of the car. I hadn’t really wanted to see what was behind us while driving anyways. We were journeying deep into Maine to reach the house of the Maine Musquetera. Those of you who’ve driven a couple hundred miles on I-95 in Maine will share my misery of endless pine trees flashing by.

Maine Musquetera with one of her Famous Cakes

We were driving up to take part in a celebration of the Maine’s Musquetera’s daughter’s college graduation. We’ve always had a great time hanging with the very nice group of friends the Maine Musquetera and her husband have acquired in Waterville and Saturday was no exception. There was an added benefit of the Musquetera’s sister and her family joining us from Virginia. It was a typical Musquetera gathering which meant way too much food and constant chatter as the crowd ebbed and flowed over the evening.

Very Proud Momma with her Graduate

I find it hard to credit that the daughter is now the elegant, sophisticated young lady who presided over the celebration. Just after I retired from the military we spent a few days up in Maine for a shared lake vacation with the Musqueteras. I remembered a precocious little girl hanging around my neck as we swam around a raft. To see her transformed into the aforementioned college grad was more than a little disconcerting.

Wife (c) at the Party

Monday dawned a trifle early which may be a result of serial beer consumption over the weekend. My sole goal was to achieve a departure in the morning that would get us south of the infamous Maine-New Hampshire border traffic snarl before the final day of the holiday weekend could jam it up significantly. I faced a severe challenge in getting the musqueteras to separate from each other. They are truly sisters of the heart and never have enough time to talk. I dimly remember hearing four ladies talking animatedly in the bathroom in the early morning hours (for example) of Sunday.

Daddy Daughter Day!

FBR Off to her Next Adventure

Abuela's Shopping Gene is Strong in this One

I was finally able to get my wife to properly recognize the challenge we faced if we delayed. I was assisted by the Virginia contingent who had even further to travel, including the dreaded Connecticut. My wife, I, and her rose bush successfully navigated the endless pine trees again and snuck out of Maine just ahead of the jam. You could feel the holiday weekend just rising to its chore of jamming close the border as I-95 was reduced to forty miles an hour for the last seven miles but I counted ourselves fortunate to break free. I could feel the jaws about to snap shut.

Dining with FBR Friends

Sprinkler Time - Not Sure why the Helmet was Required

We arrived home in time to engage in some additional planting. My back seat driving rose bush was consigned to the ground along with some climbing plants my wife wants clambering over the side of Deckzilla. Yesterday was also a momentous event as it marked the birthday of the previously noted temporary ortho-nurse – the Soxfather. My sister’s incapacity mitigated against proper celebration but I’m assured that will happen in the not too distant future. He’s one of my favorite people on the world and has been a brother in all the important aspects for more than three decades now. I remember each time I’m in terminal E at Logan International meeting him for the first time as I stepped off the plane from Germany for Christmas in 1979. All thoughts of having to dodge assassination squads from an ex-fiancé fled my mind as I quickly surmised, after growing up with three sisters, that I had finally found my brother. He’s a noted snake charmer of young children, in a very positive way. Both of my children adored him while growing up and the FBR has already acquired him as well. The BRS will not be far behind. He’s the kind of guy it’s just fun being around.

Soxfather Charming Another GEneration

Speaking of the FBR, she spent the holiday weekend squiring her mother around northern New Jersey. Since Wingman had to work all three days it was a solid mommy-daughter weekend after Friday’s daddy-daughter day. There were sprinklers deployed, a neighborhood cookout, and domination of a beer tent once Wingman was freed up. The FBR was most excited however after viewing the Maplewood Memorial Day parade with some duck races. I’m still trying to figure out what was involved as she was too excited to talk about it when we finally did catch up with her.

Duck Race with one of her Besties

Back with Dad on Sunday Night

So. That has to constitute a very well spent weekend and my heartfelt thanks to the people who made it so.

Begging Pardon Promise

Wife with her New Garden

With all due respect to Lynn Anderson I did promise my wife a rose garden (repeatedly and at each house we’ve owned). Yesterday she redeemed the promise when I returned home from work. We may have permanently lost the Keene Friend as a part time boarder, at least for the summer, as he was swept up in my wife’s garden creating vortex as well. I warned him that she was dangerous to be around during the summer months. She regards any of my more indolent activities as a target rich environment to improve her vast garden array.

Starting Point - New Garden Traced out by Rope

My Favorite Son had given her a gift card for a major rose provider (who knew they existed?) several years ago. Our return to nomadic living over the past few years mitigated against purchasing any roses but it seems we’re actually putting down roots in Worcester so she sought out the long dormant gift card which resulted in five roses showing up late one night. The target area was a corner of the yard with granite stones and her Virgin Mary statue. It also meant cutting into the newly emerging lawn which was painful after all the time I spent watering the damned thing over the past couple weeks.

We Got a Thumbs Up

With Keene Friend’s truly welcome assistance we had the grass removed (reused in some developing bare spots) and the holes dug. This is when my Favorite Panamanian sprung some more plants she wanted to add to her array. While we were digging my wife had taken the rope we had used to mark out the new garden to another part of the yard and traced out yet another garden (I know – insatiable). She innocently asked if we had time to remove the sod from this area also. I pointed to the setting sun and severely depleted middle aged bodies as evidence that this three to four hour project would have to wait for another day.

FBR Fighting with her Spaghetti
I Have it on Good Authority Some of it Ended up in her Mouth

While I believe I have earned the right to complain about my wife’s unquenchable need for expanding gardens I will also admit that each and every time the results are worth the effort. She has a real knack for turning a formerly non-descript yard into something remarkable (as long as it is not too cold out). As we sat down for very creaky late evening dinner I realized we’d missed out on our nightly call to the FBR. It turns out she was decisively engaged herself with a battle against spaghetti which looked to have been epic.

Summer Pony Tail

It’s been a “fun” week which I forgot to mention involved a two hour dentist appointment to get fitted for a crown. I was “cursed” with an extremely attractive dental assistant which meant I refused to complain about any discomfort in fear of losing macho points. I’ve now got a temporary crown while awaiting the creation of the permanent one. I love it when they ask how the temporary crown feels when the entire side of your mouth is thankfully deadened by Novocain. Once that wore off it now feels like I’ve got a piece of popcorn lodged in there all the time and my tongue is getting a big workout.

She's Growing so Fast

Speaking of medical procedures my thoughts and prayers are with my big sis today down in Rhode Island. Great Aunt is trading in her last remaining original knee for a new one today. As I was writing this I heard from Soxfather that the operation was a complete success and she was already in the recovery room. My wife commented that as soon as she completes her rehab Great Aunt would once again be available to go out dancing with us. I’m sure this sent Soxfather scrambling in search of some sort of debilitating condition of his own to counter with. I’m excited for the long weekend because I’ll be back up in New Hampshire building walls with my Favorite Son. We’re then heading even further north into Maine for the Maine Musquetera’s daughter’s graduation party. I’m cringing as I write this just thinking about I-95 on a holiday weekend.

Bizarro Political World

Daddy, Daughter, Animal Cracker

This year will mark the half way point in what I am rapidly come to understand as the Trump experiment. Americans were so fed up with the politics as usual environment that’s evolved in Washington that we ended up stepping on a very sharp and rusty nail by electing a complete maverick and political novice to the most important position in the Western World. Make no mistake, he is our president, despite the pained and hollow claims by the left to the contrary. He’s given up on trying to unite the country and seems to be pandering to the far right in what I believe is a massive miscalculation.

Divider in Chief

He doesn’t miss a chance to insert himself in any divisive issue, seemingly just so he can be center stage for any subsequent discussion. Yesterday’s NFL decision on the National Anthem protests is a perfect example. The NFL owners realizing their brand took a hit from the overhyped protests came up with some new rules governing that. Instead of letting this play out the Divider in Chief immediately inserted himself into the controversy which will only harden both sides of the dispute. We truly exist in a bizarre political environment right now – two years to go.

Point of Light Swinging

Luckily I have some very bright points of light in my life to overlook the churning morass of idiocy that D.C. has sunk into. I refuse to take part in the posting of the divisive memes some of my very liberal and very conservative friends post regularly on Facebook, realizing many of these memes were created in an nondescript building on a Moscow side street for the express purpose of dividing us. Better people have tried and felt the searing regret for awakening the slumbering behemoth a united America represents.  

We finally talked with one of those points of light last night but the FBR wasn’t all that interested in conversation. She was having a Daddy-Daughter evening since my daughter stayed in the city after work for a Curbside Gal dinner. The FBR was snuggling with Wingman but I could tell she missed her mom time. On the upside Daddy rewarded another successful day at Day Care (nap included) with time at the neighborhood playground. The FBR literally launched herself out of the doldrums when one of her friends from the neighborhood showed up at the front door during our call. We were forgotten in an instant as the FBR immediately transitioned into hostess role. It was fun to watch.

Bureau-Tuesday

The BRS has Doubled!

I’ve been conspicuously absent from the electro-magnetic spectrum for the past couple days as we had a team of Federal bureaucrats descend on us for our triennial review. Every three years the feds send a team out to audit transit agencies to see if they are complying with the library worth of federal regulations. It actually sounds more fun than it is but we survived and received some nice kudos from the customer on our results.

Her Mother - the Beautiful ABFA

The BRS confirmed the visual evidence that she has been growing like a weed. The ABFA reported that she had grown to 13 pounds and 9 ounces, so in effect doubling her size since arrival. She’s a happy baby who only seems grumpy when my son comes home from work – punishing him for being away all day. We’ll be heading back up there on Saturday for some more wall work. I also sent the ABFA this picture of her at nearly the same age as the BRS. We had only brief contact with the FBR last night as she called when we were on the way to the movies. She’s into one of the phases where she doesn’t talk to us and just stares at the screen waiting to be entertained. That’s usually half the fun but we couldn’t avail ourselves of the opportunity last night.

I finished the latest in my trek through RW Peake’s excellent Marching with Caesar series with Final Campaign. This is the last in the series featuring Titus Pullo who started the series as a raw recruit of Julius Caesar. In the subsequent books he worked his way up through the ranks to a Centurion and eventually appointed as a Camp Prefect by Augustus Caesar. In this last book he is a legend around the Roman world and called upon for one last campaign as a pampered patrician looking for glory embarks on an invasion into what is now Bulgaria with Pullo as the military expert. He subsequently falls into trouble with Rome as the campaign was unauthorized and he is literally fighting for his life against class conscious patricians. I preferred the times he spends hacking away at barbarians but this was a fitting conclusion to his storied life and I truly enjoyed the time I spent with Pullo. I was prepared to move onto the next in the series featuring Pullo’s adopted son but when I opened my Kindle I found a newly published book by the Master – Stephen King waiting for me.

Keene Friend joined my wife and I for date night last night as we saw one of my most anticipated movies of the year – Deadpool 2. This sequel was going to be difficult to pull off because the first movie was so innovative, irreverent, and funny. That’s a difficult formula to repeat and to the filmmakers credit they didn’t. Deadpool is still hilarious and continually shatters the fourth wall but this played as a more straight forward superhero action flick, albeit with hilarity liberally spread throughout. Ryan Reynolds continues to own the title role and once again proves to be a master of the one-liners. He decided to explore how many ways he could dismember himself and the resulting regrowth periods were all too funny. Zazie Beetz was a very welcome addition to the cast and James Brolin again ably handled a semi-villainous role as a Soldier from the future having to deal with Deadpool’s insanity. I will never forgive them however for limiting the contributions of Morena Baccarin – that should be a chargeable criminal offense. Julian Dennison was a miss in the part of the mutant child targeted by Brolin for death, he got the adolescent annoying part down but not much else. There are some absolutely stunningly funny cameos which I’ll have to see the movie multiple times to catch completely along with the one liners I was laughing too hard to hear. It was, in other words, a Deadpool movie – a glorious mish mash of laughter, gore and inappropriateness. I loved it.

Peace

1st Horseback Ride Ever

After the gyrations of Saturday chronicled in yesterday’s blog post my body decreed a peaceful Sunday was required. I was in no position to argue. The only problem of bringing the next generation into our McShawn’s night is that they continue to pound beers at a time I’m accustomed to start slowing intake enough to pass the hour long drive home comfortably (as a passenger). I’m enough of a competitor not to abstain from the challenge their pace required but, as I said, my body was in intense repair mode.

The Llama Feed

Daughter (2d from r) Had an 80's Themed Party Saturday Night

My wife made it easy on me as she snuck away to the movies and a spontaneous Latina Mafia get together that consumed most of the day. I was therefore completely unsupervised for the needed recovery period. That period was, needless to say, spent primarily in the Man Cave with the Red Sox and an overly long DVR list. I also went downhill for a quick movie for part of the afternoon. My body thanked me profusely although this morning’s swim was “creaky” at best. Speaking of creaky a friend posted this photo of the Cantankerous Friend from his illustrious high school track and field career.

He's on Far Right
Unfortunate Headline - So they Looked like #2 - You do the Math

The FBR had a very eventful Sunday as the town of Maplewood hosted a community event that shut down the main street and brought in some animal exhibits. The FBR’s recent zoo experiences dictated that she had to part of that action. She also accomplished her first ever horse ride along with the llama and goat feeding. She was too busy tossing Wingman’s backgammon pieces around to talk with me until I asked about the horse. She then went to fully explain just how big the horse was.

The movie I went to see what Breaking In which was barely okay. The premise had Gabrielle Union playing the mother of two children tasked with closing up her recently deceased father’s remote mansion. Her father had amassed an ill-gotten fortune that attracted a clownishly incapable quartet of bad guys. The gang traps her outside the mansion while terrorizing the kids inside. While Union is quite a talented actress she wasn’t really believable as an action star and seemed to conjure capabilities out of thin air when needed. It’s lucky she wasn’t up against the first team as the bad guys can’t get out of their own way, especially when the script called for Union to stage some unbelievable ploy. Richard Cabral was the only actor who pulled off the bad guy act and he was menacing enough for the entire gang. Well staged but some gaping plot holes that even this crew of misbegotten thieves could have driven through hurt this.