Thursday, December 31, 2015

2015 in Movies

I am an unashamed movie nut.  Every year for the last post of the year I pontificate on the best and worst from only the movies I went to see. I’ve also included what I considered to be the worst movies of the year, because that’s almost more fun. It was a very good year for Hollywood, especially in the blockbuster category, with several films that exceeded even lofty expectations. It’s interesting that 5 out of my top 10 were films that are part of a series and each are arguably the best in that entire series. I’ve also chosen a quote from each of the top ten movies. As you can see I lean heavily towards action (and science fiction) but I think these films are a lot more mainstream than the out of touch film critics whose top tens are usually incomprehensible and barely entertaining. If nothing else the films below (except for the bottom three) were hugely enjoyable. Again this is only one man’s opinion and reflects only the movies I saw this year. I await the inevitable criticism from my progeny.
Best Movies of the Year
#1 - The Martian – tough to place anything in front of Star Wars but ultimately decided Matt Damon’s tour de force of one man’s struggle against seemingly impossible odds won out. The triumph of refusing to lose hope in the face of catastrophe was told with heart and humor while demonstrating why Damon is such a likable actor. I left this movie with a belief in the future of mankind. I don’t know if it was made to inspire, but it did.
Mark Watney: “In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option, I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.”

#2 - Star Wars: The Force Awakens – rekindles the old magic that was so damaged by the last three entries. Welcomed in a new cast of lead characters while still paying homage to the ones who set the high standard in the originals. I was transported back to 1977 and all the new hope the first Star Wars movie engendered.
Rey: “There are stories about what happened.” Han Solo: “It's true. All of it. The Dark Side, the Jedi. They're real.” 
#3 - Mad Max: Fury Road – unbelievably and totally immersive as Charlize Theron dominates from the very beginning, should have been called Imperator Furiosa instead of Mad Max. Incredible visuals and unrelenting action – by far best of Max films. Who knew a movie long chase scene could be so much damned fun to watch? I thought this would be the best film of the year for the longest time.
Imperator Furiosa: “Out here, everything hurts. You wanna get through this? Do as I say. Now pick up what you can and run.” 
#4 - Kingsman, The Secret Service – simply clever beyond belief, proper British secret agents training a new generation with spookily high level of abilities. Matthew Vaughn (Kick Ass & Stardust) continues his winning streak of action movies while Colin Firth is perfect as the suave, but deadly senior agent. If you haven’t seen this, with Vaughn’s deft comedic touch for action than you are chating yourself.
Harry Hart: [to bigoted church lady] “I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.” 
#5 - Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation – the very best in this exciting series which I had honestly thought had run its course. Just when you think they’ve taken stunts to the highest level, a film like this comes out. Breathless from the get go with humor and a kick ass female counterpoint to Ethan Hunt which was the best thing about the film, well that and handing off the side of a plane while it took off. Great use of actual stunt work and minimal CGI, this movei never lets up.
Ethan Hunt: [Ethan is hanging to the side door of the plane] “Benji, open the door!”
Benji Dunn: “Ethan? How did you get in the plane?”
Ethan Hunt: “I'm not in the plane, I'm ON the plane! Open the door!” 
#6 - Creed – heart returns to this sadly abused series which goes back to the first film’s enduring message of lovable losers triumphing against impossible odds. Stallone obviously put his entire heart into the aged Rocky and Michael Jordan is perfect as the lead, pulling off cocky but likable – not easily done. Rocky is always easier to love when he’s the simple punch drunk boxer from the original instead of solving the Cold War.
Rocky Balboa: [Creed takes cell phone photo of boxing drills and walks off] “Hey don't you want this?”
Adonis Johnson: [Holds out cell phone] “It's on this.”
Rocky Balboa: “What if you lose it?”
Adonis Johnson: “It's already in the cloud.”
Rocky Balboa: [Looks in sky confused] “What cloud?” 
#7 - Spy – McCarthy may be funniest person alive. A great, very profane, send up of the spy genre with Jason Statham doing a superb lampoon of himself. As with all of McCarthy’s movies that are some subtle adlibbed one-liners that are easily missed but are what elevates this comedy. This type of movie only works when it’s funny in its own right and doesn’t depend on the parodying. This one was hilarious!
Rick Ford (Statham): “You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my f---in' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a f---ing Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and s--t them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* f---kin' arm.”
Susan Cooper: “I don't know that that's possible... I mean medically...” 
#8 - Avengers: Age of Ultron – hard to deliver when the expectations are so high but Marvel continues to do it. The high speed cast meshes so well that no one tries to take over and the resulting chemistry is undeniable. James Spader voicing the droll but dangerous Ultron adds just the right amount of dangerous comedy to the unrelenting action.
Clint Barton: “The city is flying and we're fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. Nothing makes sense.” 
#9 - Ex Machina – Fascinating look into what constitutes “personhood” as a young man is called upon to assess the artificially intelligent robot who has a plan of her own. Amazing, seamless special effects make the fantastical AI characters real, but not too real; just enough to worry me about where our technology is headed. Really, really smart science fiction.
Nathan: “One day the AIs are going to look back on us the same way we look at fossil skeletons on the plains of Africa. An upright ape living in dust with crude language and tools, all set for extinction.” 
#10 - Jupiter Ascending – I know this guilty pleasure probably doesn’t belong on the list but I love science fiction and this film was so daring in trying to tell sci fi on an immense level and Sean Bean actually survives which is noteworthy in and of itself. If you can suspend disbelief and allow yourself to be immersed in this imagined environment you will find a real gem in this flick. That is, if you can ignore Eddie Redmayne’s catastrophically bad over acting – I can’t believe this didn’t cost him the Oscar last year.
Jupiter Jones: “Because a dream is the only way any of this make sense.”
Caine Wise: “Compared to what? The idea that you're the only intelligent species, on the only inhabitable planet, in a universe so full of planets that you don't even have a number to describe how many there are.”

Honorable Mention:
Run All Night – Liam Neeson and Ed Harris as aging Irish gangsters chasing each other around NYC. Great action and you had me at “Liam”.
Furious Seven – overshadowed throughout by death of Paul Walker but packed with the usual stunning action scenes. Poignant and very well done farewell scene between Walker and Diesel. (see below – best scene of year)
Ant Man – arguably the best Marvel film of the year with Paul Ruud launching this new franchise as a pint sized crime fighter.
Bridge of Spies – no list would be complete without the inclusion of the best actor currently working – Tom Hanks. Perfectly captures the tension of the Cold War and the inherent weaknesses of both sides.
Worst Movies:
Mordecai – how far has Johnny Depp fallen with his over the top characters – easily the worst film of the year
Hot Tub Time Machine 2 – Cusack obviously saw how bad this was going to be after the surprise success of the first movie and bowed out. The rest of the cast should have followed him.
Pan – actually quite an accomplishment to make this bad a movie with Hugh Jackman as the lead villain, fails on so many levels – just not entertaining.
 

2015 Superlatives:

Best Comedy:  Spy
Best Horror Movie:  It Follows
Best Drama:  The Martian
Best Romance:  Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (obviously I didn’t see a lot in this category)
Best Action:  Mad Max: Fury Road
Best Special Effects:   Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Best Scene of the Year:  Final Scene in Furious Seven


I couldn’t leave without at least one photo of California perfection – the biggest breakout star of 2015 – THE FIRST BLOG READER:
Out For a Snack with her Mom

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Pain in the Whatever

I had a scary moment or two yesterday after what I considered some fairly routine work. The really modest snowfall of yesterday was followed by a day long ice storm which coated everything in sight. I left work early enough that I thought I could push everything off the very short driveway (YES!!) before the sun set and everything froze in place. I got home in time and found the next door Mafioso had already made a pass through our driveway with his snow blower which left just a little bit of work for me (or so I thought). I have crowed in the past just how great our next door neighbors are – just another sterling example. I couldn’t find my gloves because I hadn’t needed them yet this winter and they were caught up in the move and placed somewhere out of useful location. They were located later in the evening when I found them folded and conveniently placed in one of my wife’s dry docked purses in the basement. She blamed me which I would have believed if they weren’t folded – a sure sign of wifely involvement.
I started out without gloves until the cold convinced me this was a very bad idea so I put on some work gloves that were partially rubber (bad idea). While the elbow has improved minimally each day it still wasn’t up to the challenge of chopping the ice and moving the slush out of the way so I was reduced to left handed shoveling, a novel experience. I eventually got everything I could chopped up and moved out of the driveway as well as the front door walk. I then noticed that my fingers and the now frozen gloves were not moving a whole lot. I came inside to endure the thawing of the fingers which is always a fun experience, as any veteran New Englander will tell you. What I hadn’t counted on was an almost immediate and virulent headache consigned to the entire back of my head. It was a novel experience and one I hope not to repeat. I know it scared the hell out of my wife as she rushed around trying to help. I’d obviously overdone it and missing lunch hadn’t helped. Once she was assured I wasn’t going to drop dead she began her usual lecture, hitting the high points that I’m not as young as I used to be (like I didn’t know that) and how I should be more careful. She’s about to abandon me once again for her winter sojourn in Panama and worries how I will survive without her vigil.
These Are Allegedly the Proper Techniques or Middle Aged Snow Shoveling
I Went 1 for 8 Which Probably Explains a Lot
After my fingers thawed out and the Motrin kicked in I felt a lot better; just in time to see the city plow come by and pile up a mound of slush and ice at the bottom of the driveway. I normally would have suited back up and moved it out of the way before it froze overnight. My favorite Panamanian would not hear of it. The fact that I let her persuade me to let it go is a good indicator of just how out of sorts I was feeling.
The Morale Boost
A huge morale boost was delivered just at that moment with the late arrival of a Christmas gift from my daughter and Wingman. My wife gave me a mini IPad as a Christmas gift and I knew I was going to need a carrying case/protective cover if the device was going to survive life with me. I hadn’t gotten around to procuring one when I opened the aforementioned gift after my driveway adventures. I’m now the proud possessor of what was needed with the added benefit of having it feature my favorite picture of the First Blog Reader. So friggin cool!

Legs in Band Aides
My granddaughter didn’t have the best of days out on the wrong coast as she received her first set of inoculations. I think it was tougher on her mom and her grandmother was downright miserable when she saw pictures of the poor tike with Band-Aids on her legs. She emerged a little fussy but was pronounced completely healthy and is pushing across the twelve pound barrier while maintaining her utterly devastating photogenic qualities (see below). I congratulated Wingman on winning the family fantasy football league and he reported he also won in three other leagues (he’s kind of a ringer) which, unlike ours, were cash leagues. He won enough to pay off a large percentage of the recently arrived hospital bill.



So mom - Where Exactly Are We Going and Why are You So Nervous?


Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Winter Finally Shows Up

New England is certainly demonstrating its ability to completely bewilder anyone trying to understand it. Just a few days ago temps were ranging around 70 and I was outside in shorts and sweating. Granted this was exceedingly rare for the always benevolent Worcester weather as we set records for heat and lack of snow in December.
View Out Back This Morning
Mother Nature decided she’d had enough fun torturing us with illusions of spring and dropped the hammer overnight. She did so with one of her most potent body shots, snow followed by sleet, topped off with freezing rain for the morning commute. This is the first winter storm I’ve been through since moving to Worcester. While I no longer have to driveway from hell to contend with I still live on a fairly steep hill.
Although today is supposedly a regular work day the street outside the house was ominously quiet. None of the city snow plows made it up the hill to clear the streets and I was the first resident to try and drive down the hill as the snow was undisturbed. I commandeered the four wheel drive SUV from my Favorite Panamanian (who wouldn’t dare drive in this mess anyways). I wimped out from taking the direct, and steepest, route off the hill and slipped and slid down to the main road.
Car Coated with Ice After Arriving at Work
The normal five minute commute turned into twenty minutes. I was pleased to see the hardy New Englanders getting out on the roads and using common sense in terms of speed. It seems the freezing rain kept the idiotic flatlanders who always confound during the first winter storm home. By the time I got to work the car was completely encased in ice, fun times.  
Regarding yesterday’s posts I received several messages from the people I mentioned from Saturday night. The Possessed Lady claims she is not but did inquire as to whether the Wonder Pooch returned to normal after she left (he did). The Cantankerous Friend took exception to being labeled a diva almost as much as when I point out his obvious leftist politics. Not surprisingly he was squiring his recently widowed dad around Saturday which precluded his attendance; kind of hard to argue with that logic.

Cali-Daughter and the First Blog Reader Yesterday
For those of you completely turned off by my repeated bouts of luxuriating in being a first time grandfather – stop reading now. I was entranced last night with a FaceTime call with the Cali-Daughter and was treated to the waking up experience of the First Blog Reader. My wife was speaking (yelling) baby talk in my ear as our granddaughter opened her eyes from one of her naps. To see how happy she is upon waking and hearing her mother’s as well as her abuela’s voice was a good indication of how contented a baby she is. I was conquered all over again.
Enjoying a Mobil From her Grandparents

This Happens a Lot, I'm Told

A Real Charmer

And a Patriots Fan!

Monday, December 28, 2015

Frail Returns

I got a couple messages late yesterday wondering why I hadn’t posted on Frail Deeds Dancing. I assigned blame firmly to the category of post party recovery operations which was largely true. The other, more compelling reason was the realization the Christmas season had once again fled the coop and I was going to have to wait for an entire year before launching into another period of intense frivolity. Of course I’m fairly adept at the whole frivolity thing without the excuse of a holiday to support it but I digress.
Artist Rendition of Keene Friend's House Late Saturday Night
Not wanting to let go of the holiday spirit my wife and I decided to stay at Keene Friend’s house yesterday to watch the Patriots game. We also had certain responsibilities to assist in the cleaning up after another successful day after Christmas party the night before. The party at Keene Friend’s house is a tradition dating back at least twelve years when the party was moved from my mother’s house to his. Both of my kids grew up with the event and always consider the party a required part of the holiday celebration.
Party Host Extraordinaire
Keene Friend doesn’t issue many invites, people just realize it’s the day after Christmas and they’ll be needed at his house. He has a small house and it was jammed with people again this year, including my son and the ABFA; Calif-Daughter joined via video conference. Buddy had a complete meltdown at one point which was very odd. It seemed associated with one particular party guest who showed up with her daughter. It may have been her perfume or the smell of her own dogs that set Buddy off but he was not to be calmed down. I eventually had to move his cage out to the car until the party wound down. Of course with this crowd the popular opinion was that dogs are more sensitive to the occult and that the Wonder Pooch sensed an evil spirit in the aforementioned lady. That might have been the demon alcohol talking though, just saying.
Possessed Party Guest on Right With Daughter
The Pittsburgh Friend made his annual call to join the festivities and immediately asked the question everyone else was asking – where was the Cantankerous Friend? Another annual ritual was the serial arguments he revels in with virtually every party guest. Keene Friend remembered talking to him at the November pub crawl about the party and we felt it was a safe bet he would attend since he’d made the last twelve years in a row. We received a late night message from the diva that he didn’t realize the party was happening and couldn’t rearrange his busy social calendar to attend. The dominant theory espoused is that he has a new, secret girlfriend that he doesn’t want to risk having meet us. The party was still a lot of fun but certainly lacked the edge the Cantankerous One always achieves. I had too much fun to even consider taking photos for which I apologize; the party was epic enough to justify photographic evidence of same.
Fuzzy And M.I.A.
After cleaning up even more telling evidence of our Saturday excess and rendering his home habitable again, Keene Friend joined us for Sunday breakfast with a very energetic Asian waiter and then a visit with the lady I’ve always considered a second mom. We’d stopped by on Saturday before the party but she was out socializing. She’s well into her nineties now but still spry and we spent a fun, but short time catching up with her.
The Patriots’ injuries finally caught up with them as they fell to a desperate Jets team in New Jersey. The fact that the Pats took the Jets to overtime despite missing so many key pieces was instructive in terms of the future. If the two teams meet again with Patriots having those pieces back, in Foxboro, the Jets are not to be feared. It was still frustrating to watch those posers celebrate.
My son had set up the Keene Friend’s new I-Pad during the party so he spent much of the game bemoaning his fate in the Family Fantasy Football Championship game where he was matched up against Wingman. Wingman is asserting his well-known dominance in the milieu this year. He picked up a defense yesterday and had it score an unprecedented amount of points against Keene Friend while his team which eked out a win against me last week faltered. It was that kind of day yesterday. The necessary valley after the holiday peak soaring.

I’m going to have to spend time today staring at photos of a certain young Californian to assuage the removal of Christmas from the environment for another year.





Saturday, December 26, 2015

Faltering Attempt

ABFA and Son With Neighborhood Santa
Alright, I’m going to give this a shot, but please understand I am completely incapable of conveying how much fun the past two days have been. Christmas, by the lofty standard I set for the amount of fun it should be, is undeniably challenged every year. I was concerned that with the absence of the California element of the family I wouldn’t be able to have as much fun.

The East Coast element however more than rose to the occasion and despite my slightly broken wing the promise of the holiday was once again redeemed. After my early morning Christmas Eve meet and greet with employees I returned home to the smell of turkey cooking which ignited the memories of basically all prior Christmases for me (except for one spent in the Middle East).
Night Before Turkey Prep

After a power nap to rally corporeal forces for the battle ahead I headed for the kitchen for my rendezvous with Christmas Eve dinner which I was in charge of preparing. We had the windows open as the temperatures hovered near seventy. Buddy was particularly disappointed in that another window, opportunity-wise, was opened and my Favorite Panamanian jumped through it to administer a back yard bath for the wonder pooch which he didn’t really appreciate. By mid-afternoon the Favorite Son and the ABFA arrived to commence festivities. After a time out for church services the noise level rose to appropriate levels and we even entertained a visit from the next door Mafioso dressed up as Santa Claus.
Buddy Getting his Christmas Cleansing

The Tree Was Ready
In what is fast becoming a trend my sister and her husband showed up ahead of time from Rhode Island along with their two dogs, Bailey and Remy. It wouldn’t be Christmas without dogs, right? I was being ably assisted in the dinner prep by my favorite son as he took over some of the lifting my elbow was unwilling to entertain. Buddy learned a valuable lesson of checking temperature of fallen food when he swept in to gobble up a piece only to discover that not only was it a piece of squash, but it was still boiling hot. I have to give him an A for effort though and it was comical to see him attempting a field expedient method of flossing trying to get the hot squash out from his teeth. He was undeterred by this episode and held vigil throughout the turkey carving.
The Overly Proud Chef

Buddy and the ABFA's Dad Watching the Turkey Carve

Wife and Santa

If You Can't Look Silly at Christmas - Then When?
I really liked having the big dinner on Christmas Eve. I found it much easier to work on without the several beers are usually down range on Christmas Day when I did this on prior Christmases. We had a great time sitting round the table enjoying each other’s company which is for me what is best about the holiday. There were several video calls with the daughter, Wingman, and First Blog Reader out in California. I could tell they really wanted to be here with us, almost as much as I wanted them to be here.
Christmas Eve Dinner
After dinner I discovered a huge mistake we’d made in terms of canine coordination. We thought it would be best to leave the dogs in the basement to get reacquainted while we ate. Remy is a fast rising challenger to Buddy’s title of worst possible begging for food so we thought they would be fine and better away from the temptation of the dining room table. As soon as I opened the door olfactory evidence was abundant that we had erred in our estimation. Remy had deposited several prodigious mounds in front of Buddy’s cage and in the ensuing play time one of the dogs had stepped in one of the piles and tracked it around. My wife had stored a couple Christmas presents down there and Remy decided he wanted to not only open the present but devour the contents within. This was not a good move and not well received by certain Panamanian elements. For his exuberance Remy’s holiday was spent either on leash or in his cage; an ignominious fate for the young pretender to the throne. As stated above, dogs are part of the Christmas equation in my book and you have to take the good with the semi-insidious.  
She's Ready for Christmas!
After some fabulous desserts we settled in for the annual viewing of Love Actually, something we’ve been doing for over ten years now. Similar viewing of the same movie was underway in California. My wife made midnight mass but was able to join us for Sam’s run through the Heathrow and Jaime’s proposal to Aurelia. A very good night indeed.
Buddy and Bailey on Christmas Morn
I had my usual early morning alone time with the dogs on Christmas morning. Since grandchildren are starting to appear I don’t know how many more of these I have in my future. I had all three dogs out in the back yard when the next door mafisoso yelled over holiday greetings. Their grandchildren are on site so they had already been up for a while.
Son and Brother in Law

Gifts Going Out with Canine Supervision

Remy Attacking my Son
I brewed some coffee and eventually the crowd wandered downstairs for the annual denuding of the deposits left under the Christmas tree. Buddy got to open the first gift which was a noise making pillow with “Nice” on one side and ”Naughty” on the other. He immediately got to work on chewing the naughty off. My granddaughter, not wanting to miss all of her first Christmas, woke her parents up so they joined us via video conference at the ungodly hour it was out in California. It was funny that we were twenty degrees warmer in Worcester than they were in Los Angeles yesterday.
ABFA


ABFA and Son Sorting 
The gift giving culminated when I asked my son to take a bag of discarded wrapping paper to the garage. When he opened the door he found his big present, which was a riding lawn mower. It was a nice moment, as he was obviously surprised. He then undertook my daughter’s usual job of making the morning mimosas while his sister looked on from L.A. My wife took the ABFA under her wing to teach her the intricacies of fried dough and hojaldras. Before we knew it the whole family was gathered around the dining room table again for the Christmas morning brunch which had a lot more lunch than breakfast in terms of time.
Son Sitting on his Big Present

Hojaldra Lessons

Son Grilling Kielbasa - T-Shirt Christmas Weather
Since I didn’t have a meal to prepare this year the rest of the day was a very nice, comfortable slide. We had to bid adieu to the New Hampshire contingent so they could head north for ABFA family requirements. We used the afternoon to fill a gaping hole in my sister’s pop culture education. She’d never seen the Christmas Vacation movie and we laughed the afternoon away together watching the Griswolds and Cousin Eddie.
Brunch
All too soon the sun set and the Rhode Islanders had to pursue similar family requirements down south. Remy was happy to escape what had become an extended period of solitary. The next door mafiosos appeared as well to help delve into our excess turkey supply before disappearing into the night.
Keene Friend Making his Way Through Multiple Boxes
The last event of the evening was the tardy arrival of the Keene Friend, which seems to get later and later each year. It did mark the final event of our customary Christmas celebration though. He took my wife’s wrapping of his present in good stride. He’s known to over-tape whenever he sends a package and my wife exacted a measure of revenge by making him go through no less than four wrapped boxes before he arrived at his present.

Meanwhile Out in California
So a very good time, if it did lack the presence of some sorely missed Californians. The good news is that the celebration has not ended. The Keene Friend made one of his patented early morning escapes this morning so he could return home to prepare for the annual day after Christmas party at his house tonight. The party will go on. I hope everyone reading this had at least a fraction of the fun that I did. If you did, you had a great holiday.



She Did Have One of her Grandfathers With Her


Friends Showed up to Share the Holiday

First Time in Six Weeks Daughter got to Dress up