Rampant Reflection

The House on the Hill We May Be Saying Goodbye to
Buddy Standing his Post at the Front Door

Yesterday was the big decision day.  My wife and I met with the realtor now that the last of the debris seems to have fallen back to earth from the events surrounding our son’s wedding.  The guy was honest about what we could get for the house even with all the improvements we’ve made since buying it in 2005.  I have purchased two houses in my life and had the intrepid luck to buy at the market’s absolute peak each time. 

We decided to take the plunge and put the house on the market because it is just too big for two people and there do not appear to be any local grandchildren on anything like short final approach.  It was a little cathartic to talk with the agent about our reasons for leaving because we both absolutely love the house along with some truly superb neighbors.  It’s just not home. 

I’m not sure I’ll ever recapture that long lost dream of a home that gleams in the mists of memory of nearly every career military guy; hence the well-worn military saying – “You can never go home”.   The vagabond lifestyle was fine for the young man who set out on what turned out to be a fairly miraculous trip to the various and sundry places of the earth.  That young man now sits here typing with gray, thinning hair desperate to find that place, which is really more of a feeling, he left so seamlessly back in 1978. 

The funniest thing was after signing the papers and starting the process last night I was overwhelmed with a sense of melancholy.  We’ve put so much work into this house which we really thought was going to be our last abode.  It owns so many memories, our last times with our beloved goldens, Skyla and Estrella, my son’s wacky college parties with bodies strewn about the property on Sunday morning, the first best weekend ever, and most of all, meeting Wing Man and the BFA (our third and fourth children). 

My wife sensed the conflicting emotions I was dealing with.  This is where the thirty-two years of marriage comes in handy.  I’m excited about the possibility of moving back to my home town but all of that is contingent on selling the house.  The good thing is we don’t have to sell so any prospective buyer will have to come close to our price which the realtor says is not guaranteed.  This will make the BFA very happy as she does not want to lose the connection to this house.  We agreed to leave it on the market until November and then take a six month break until spring if it hasn’t sold by then.  This will ensure the holidays aren’t impacted.  Again a nice position to be in, to not have to sell, but that shiny object is still beckoning through the mists.