Mechanical Aura, Canine Plant Issues and Bye Bye Tommy

I’m beginning to think I may possess an aura that is toxic to mechanical devices.  I wrote yesterday about the demise of my computer and that is only the latest in a long string of machines that recently quit on me. 

My office microwave now only works when I disconnect it and then plug it on again.  It then defaults to high and six minutes which will reduce most food to a smoking ruin if left in that long.  I now put my lunch in and hope not to be distracted when the timer hits four minutes.  We’ve had a couple close calls with me dashing across the garage trying to rescue some soon to be immolated lunch meat.

I was patting myself on the back last night about my new cable deal.  Unfortunately tone TV (and incidentally the one most important to my wife’s fascination with Spanish novellas) was flashing a message that the cable service had been disconnected.  My aura had claimed another victim.  The machine withstood the electronic blasts the cable company tried sending to reset it so I had to take some time off from work so they could come and fix the box.  I’m at the point where I don’t think it’s safe for me to be around anything mechanical –making for some nervous commuting.

This aura might extend to dogs as well because Buddy certainly blew a gasket when I got home earlier than usual.  There is a cardinal rule in the house that both he and I respect on pain of certain and gruesome death – my wife’s plants must remain inviolate.  You can understand my shock and dismay when I discovered Buddy had disemboweled a heretofore healthy plant and left the remaining roots and not a little bit of dirt strewn on the floor.  I’m guessing he had an upset stomach and couldn’t find any grass to munch on.  It could be that a devious plan to undermine my authority and stage a coup before the return of my wife.  I’m going to have to keep an eye on him. 

The Denuded Plant Back in its Pot

Date night last night (next to last dateless one) where I went to see Three Days to Kill starring Kevin Costner.  This was a Luc Besson vehicle so of course it featured a grizzled, flawed hero (Costner) surrounded by legions of bad guys in Besson’s beloved Paris.  With a typically outlandish plot I really enjoyed this action flick.  Costner plays a CIA assassin dying from cancer trying to reconnect with a teenage daughter and estranged wife while simultaneously foiling a terrorist attack by the team of the Albino and the Wolf (very Besson).

There’s a huge body count and Costner lends a very cool level of humanity to the character.  Hailee Steinfeld continues her impressive work as the confused daughter.  Amber Heard plays Costner’s diabolical CIA boss who may have a cure for his cancer (as long as he stops at critical moments to down vodka).  The drug has the side effect of immobilizing Costner just as he’s about to close with and eliminate the bad guys.  As you can see this movie was all over the place but leavened with Besson’s typical charm – a lot of fun to watch.

Obama decided to implement some deep cuts in the military which were announced yesterday.  This is nothing new, supposedly a reward for the sense of peace pervading the uninformed electorate.  It’s not really a partisan thing because Bush had planned similar cuts before skyscrapers started falling.  While this will achieve some short sighted political goals we’re definitely less well protected and there still be wolves prowling the wood line.

An Army needs to exist for the next war and the most dangerous threat, not tailored to what has just passed.   Enemies have a troublesome way of adjusting tow hat they’ve already seen.  Current strategic planning stresses the importance of light, special forces that have been so successful in Afghanistan.  These are important but not capable of meeting the most significant threat to our existence. 

A wise man (even if he is a Marine) once said the Army has to remain the chain mailed fist of American military might.  There will be some serious holes in the chain mail in the coming years and it’s not something that can be fixed overnight as trained military units take months to create.  One can only hope our future adversary is willing to give us the time to rearm before hooking and jabbing commences.

A friend, commenting on the gutting of the Army, posted a very telling passage from one of Rudyard Kipling’s best poems.  It’s a great comment on our current president’s plan to reduce the military (symbolized by the British “Tommy”) which isn’t truly appreciated until it’s needed:

For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!