Wired

I’ve faced an onerous challenge since moving into Worcester, literally the only downside I’ve experienced so far; the trial of wires. Any regular reader of the blog knows of my addiction to movies and attendant growth of my home entertainment system over the years. When we moved to Worcester that meant re-connecting everything to the TV: cable, sound system, Blu-ray player, internet, and headphones. The cable company hooked up the cable box but only that.

If I wanted to watch a Blu-ray movie (and that happens with alarming regularity) I had to turn the sound system off and turn up the TV internal speakers. As with most flat screens that left something to be desired. The biggest issue however was the lack of headphones. They are a needed salve for the times my wife is on the telephone (which happens even more regularly than my movie obsession). A secret to Latina communication I’ve learned over the years and written about before – the loudest one gets to talk first in any conversation. This competition has yielded a true champion in my wife who despite her diminutive size can blanket a house with decibels once she gets rolling on the phone. This prepared her well for the aging of her parents and the associated reduction in their hearing capability. She could blanket even our much larger house before the move and the smaller house is no match for her skills on the amplitude range.

The lack of headphones since the move means I’ve had to turn the noise up on the TV until the walls are shaking if I’m going to overcome my wife’s conversational auditory prowess. My son gave the dizzying array of wiring behind the set a game try during the move but I had exhausted him moving all our household goods. If he couldn’t figure it out then a self-proclaimed fossil with Luddite leanings (that would be me) certainly wasn’t going to. I finally bit the bullet and called in the Geek Squad. They showed up yesterday in two huge trucks which was kind of embarrassing; almost as embarrassing as explaining my incompetence in the wiring department. I think they get a lot of that because the youngsters smiled knowingly and got to work. At least one benefit to middle age is a glorious lack of sophistication when it comes to modern home electronics. It’s almost not a failing to be clueless (it’s always good to have a young person around to overcome this but they’re in short supply lately). 

I felt better after it took them nearly forty five minutes to get everything hooked up. Apparently the headphones are some ancient form of connection that needs to be wheedled into the more up to date stuff. I could care less as I can now boom movies through the sound system and when my wife reached for the phone last night I donned the headphones in Pavlovian response. I’m sure the neighbors appreciate the respite from the audio duels. Unlike them, I couldn’t hear a word my wife was bellowing on the phone and the sound system was on mute.

Reports are coming in on the Cali-Daughter’s birthday in California. In a move that surprises nobody who knows him the Wingman rose to the occasion in gallant fashion. He even procured an ice cream cake, one of my daughter’s true obsessions. They topped the day off with a long birthing class, so that must have been fun. I did note the serious lack of a sword to cut the cake. I’m going to have to arrange the deployment of one of my spare swords out there to address that failure. Any birthday cake worth cutting deserves an honorable death by long blade.