Completely Epic Keene Pub Crawl

The Treasures Produced by the Crawl

Okay there might have been another day when I had as much fun as I did yesterday but I’m having trouble remembering when that might have been.  I was  a little hesitant going in about the ability to accomplish the task in front of me but once we got rolling, it became inevitable. 

As part of my birthday celebration which I peremptorily extended into Saturday I decreed I wanted to pursue a long delayed crawl through the pubs of my home town.  I love going “back home” and this was an exercise in excess that my Keene Friend and I planned earlier this year before he very unreasonably decided to become employed again.  I am a creature of habit and when I did go back I was only hitting one or two bars while at the same time noticing the birth of several others requiring inspection.

My Partner and I Near the Finish Line in the Colony Mill

I did a Google search for Keene Bars and formed an itinerary based on the results.  We would have one beer at each location and purchase a t-shirt if the bar was so inclined.  I was ably assisted by my overly devoted son who may have been questioning his decision to join me for my birthday.  The MEF decided earlier in the week that hanging out with a slightly inebriated pair of guys wasn’t really her forte and wisely bowed out.  The Cantankerous One had to take care of his elderly parents but we kept him advised of our progress through messages to his parent’s home.  Their voice mail may never be the same again.  The Keene Friend was working, of course, but Keene Friend 2 broke out his schedule of concerts and domicile moves to join us for a couple pubs. 

I published the list yesterday to prevent myself from taking counsel of my fears and not completing the quest.  My wife joined us for the initial bar and the last two.  In a blinding flash of revelation – she enjoys shopping more than bar hopping.   Here follows the chronicle of our adventure:

The Starting Point

1.  Waxy O’Conner’s Irish Pub and Restaurant– starting point, an Irish Pub that was taken apart in Ireland and reassembled connected to a motel in rural New Hampshire.  We started here with lunch and Irish beer.  The place was cold, almost deserted and blessed with really, really slow service but I was psyched to commence our epic journey.  It had great atmosphere and with more people has real potential.  We scored the first t-shirt here.  My wife noted the proximity to her favorite hunting grounds – TJ Maxx.

My Wife's Last Picture Before Abandoning Us

2.  Penuche’s Ale House – directly across the street from where I went to kindergarten, talk about urban planning gone amuck.  This was a favorite bar from my youth but in recent years it’s been taken over by the crowd from the nearby college, for which I am chronologically challenged to fit.  The plan called for hitting the “college bars” early in the afternoon sequence before most of the college kids awoke from their Friday night ministrations.  The place is kind of a dive but still has the charm I remembered from nights of a misspent youth as well as a bar tendress with a gravity defying, plunging neck line.  We were joined by a biker couple and a senior citizen but the well endowed tendress could not come up with a t-shirt she thought were somewhere on the premises.

Our Selfie Proficiency Needs Some Work

3.  Cobblestone Ale House – right next to the Catholic Church’s nun barracks was starting to fill up with co-eds who hungrily eyed my son.  I was not similarly inspected – getting old can really suck at times.  The bar tender seemed a little out of phase, a nice guy but he put my beer down three stools away and then looked confused.  I think he’s one of those college kids recovering from Friday night and forced to get up before 5pm.  I helped him out by moving the beer to its appropriate location.  Even though it was nice outside it was still in the low 50’s which made it strange to have the side door propped wide open.  I think it might have been the bar tender’s attempt to remain conscious but it also made for a fairly frosty stay at the bar.  Luckily we were not long for this establishment.  We did make initial contact with Keene Friend 2 who we vectored in for a link up in a pub or two.

That's Better

4.  Lab & Lager Food and Spirits – a short walk across the widest Main Street in the World (don’t ask) to a place I used to buy auto tires in.  The former Goodyear place now pursues a much more noble profession with a truly excellent sports bar.  As I noted earlier in the year during reunion weekend – just a great bar with a very friendly and attentive bar tender.  This was truly the first true test of the crawl as this was the type of bar we could have put down roots in.  We avoided this siren call and headed up Main Street.

Keene Friend 2 Showed Up While We Were Taking This

5.  Kilkenny Pub – a real dive but really nice people.  This place is stuck behind a Main Street bank and has some serious redevelopment going on all around it.  It’s successfully resisted the upscaling trend and doesn’t even accept credit cards.  They did have a t-shirt though and a friendly if kind of scary bar tendress with a thankfully high neckline.  Keene Friend 2 achieved link up status while we were taking the entry photo.  He is something of an expert on the bar scene in Keene and provided some well needed historical context to our journey.  He was only able to join us for a little while but the time was well spent.  He knew many of the kind of sketchy denizens including a guy I knew well when I was very young but who’s best days are a distant memory. 

Keene Friend 2 Outside the Biggest Suprise of Crawl

6.  Scores Sports Bar and Grill – a brand new bar created on the ruins of the Railroad Tavern which we reached by walking behind Kilkenny into Railroad Square.  This was the biggest surprise of the crawl.  A sparkling new sports bar that was clean, well tended and attentive.  One of the very young co-owners stopped by for a chat, sold us a t-shirt and we marked this down as a place we will definitely return to.  This marked the second real test of our resolve to continue the quest.  Sadly Keene Friend 2 had to leave following this stop – something about promising his girlfriend to attend a concert, we were made of sterner stuff and continued on our journey.

6a.  Railroad Tavern – Note to Google – this place no longer exists and as noted above was replaced by Scores.  I consider this my public service message of the crawl.

The Pour House in the Old Sears Location

7.  The Pour House – A fairly new place where my mother use to have her legendary battles with Sears but now has both a Mexican Restaurant and this nice bar.  It’s right on Central Square so there as a heavy air of nostalgia in the wind for an old Keene resident.  The bar tender was kind of gruff and out of t-shirts but it was a nice stay as the sun deserted us for the day.  We had a bit longer walk to our next destination as we walked by my old church and the library where I spent so many of my younger hours on our way to the Colony Mill Complex.

Outside Elm City - Special Place

8.  Elm City Brewery – This is my regular haunt during my too infrequent returns to Keene and I purposely left it near the end.  We were blessed with having my favorite bar tendress on duty and she was at the top of all facets of her game.  I feel really at home here and she’s a large part of the reason for that.  She recognized me and commented on how much my son looked like me.  It was probably a sign of how much beer he’d already had that he didn’t take offense to the statement. We ended up having two beers here (Keene Kolsch!) to compensate for the lack of a Railroad Tavern.  We also finally checked in with the wife who’d dropped us off five hours earlier.  She quickly arrived to perform some needed supervision and squire us to the finish line.

The Final Bar

9.  Tio Juan’s Margaritas Mexican Restaurant – the finish line and where we typically end our visits to Keene at.  My wife was a good sport about our fairly vigorous recounting of the day’s adventures as we downed the final beer of the day and topped it off with steaks.  She did look a bit askance of my bar tendress descriptions but she realizes just how harmless I am. 

The Last Bar is Crossed off the List

So we did it.  It was such a great day and the best part was sharing the day with my son.  We rarely get a chance to just hang out and I enjoyed showing him some of the hometown I love so much and recount some of the family lore associated with the various places we passed by.  He’s great company and learned that I have an apparently well respected and renowned ability to consume beer quickly.  

Crossing Off The Last Bar on the List in Margaritas

One of those days I’ll never be able to replicate but not for the lack of trying.  We both agreed that we’d have to do this again some day with some more friends.  I think I can get on board for that.  Such a great day!