Low Riding Abomination

I finally took the plunge yesterday and ran my wife’s car through a car wash. It was sorely needed as the color was not readily identifiable under the encasing of salt and various and other sundry products the winter road conditions bestowed upon it. I’ve only used the Camry once in the last month because for the most part the roads have been snow covered and the Highlander does better in the snow. The relentless onslaught of winter storms made washing it a seemingly fruitless endeavor. We’ve now gone five complete days without any accumulating snow and while it’s still frigid the roads are basically dry. I hit the car wash on the way home from the movies because I felt dirty and needed some cleansing (more on that later).

Ahhh - the 2015 Winter 

Now that I’ve got the car clean I don’t want to drive it. I set out in the Camry this morning and discovered something I had not anticipated. The Highlander sits a lot higher which allowed me to look over most of the snow banks. I lost that ability with the Camry and it significantly increased the pucker factor, especially when pulling out of the driveway. Even though the snow banks have shrunk some this week I still can’t see over the piles at the end of the driveway from hell even in the Highlander. I’d worked out a system where I’d check both ways on the approaching street when I was halfway down the driveway and then trust no one was exceeding the sound barrier when I pulled blindly out into the street. As I left this morning I made my check and discovered the lower line of sight in the Camry made that impossible – couldn’t see over the snow banks. This meant just edging the nose of the car out into the street to see if it got torn off – as I said – serious pucker factor.

My Wife Harvesting Some Sort of Arcane Fruit in her Parents' Back Yard

I had various members of my far flung family reporting in yesterday. My wife continued to complain about the heat in Panama. I’m just not sure why this is such a surprise for her. Life in New England has obviously thickened up her blood. She had to renew her Panamanian passport and said it was too easy – she should have the new one in 2-3 days which is normal. I think she could hear my teeth grinding after my passport gymnastics of a couple weeks ago.

Curbside Alert in Austin!

My daughter left the warm climes of California for Austin, Texas where one of the redoubtable Curbside ladies is to be married this weekend. The Curbside gals are renting a Bed and Breakfast for the entire time and I can only imagine how much fun is going to be perpetrated in that abode over the next few days. WingMan is breaking away from his tour to join her for a couple of them. When last heard from my daughter was waiting at the airport baggage claim for the New York flight of another Curbside girl who was coming in with the first Curbside progeny.

Finally, as to why I felt the need for cleansing after the movies last night. I’d hoped to see The Theory of Everything but that was no longer playing so I decided to see Hot Tub Time Machine 2 since they seemed like similarly themed films (J). I’d kind of liked the first Hot Tub Time Machine which had some very funny moments raking the 1980s over the coals. The sequel is nothing short of a full abomination. The jokes aren’t funny and there’s nothing remotely redeeming about the characters involved.

Rob Corddray can be very funny in small doses as a supporting character but he fails miserably here as the lead. The film sorely missed John Cusack who was smart enough to avoid this disaster. My daughter will tell you that low brow comedy is something I have been known to partake of at times, much to her consternation. For someone of my ilk to be so totally turned off by this failed attempt at humor speaks volumes as to the level of putridity. Don’t go see this, don’t rent it when it comes out on DVD, and turn the channel when it inevitably seeps into cable. A frontrunner for worst movie of the year, but it is early yet.