Reflections on Panama



Dolega - Where We Bought Our Land Right Above David on Left Side of Map

Now that I’ve been back from Panama a few days I’ve had some time to think about the future and what it holds.  I now own an acre of Panama and over the next few years my wife and I will be building a house there.  The big question is whether it will be a second home, our primary residence, a vacation house, or a huge mistake. I’ve been to Panama dozens of times and I truly love my wife’s family, that’s the whole reason I agreed to purchase the land in the first place.  This visit, for the first time, I felt really at home there.  I usually confine my use of Spanish to family members but this time, without even realizing it I found myself conversing with strangers and actually holding my own.  I even watched some of the local television and understood everything that was being said.  The scariest part was that by the end of the week I was even thinking in Spanish.  That has always been my biggest concern about living in Panama – communicating in a second language.  Based on last week I don’t think that will be a problem and the Panamanian people for the most part are very outgoing and appreciative when you try to speak their language.  On the other hand I also realized I will never truly fit in down there.  I’m a head taller and significantly bigger than most of the Panamanians – I stand out – a lot.  Even though there are plenty of Americans already living down there – I found that I was the object of curiosity as my wife and I walked around her home town.  When I was first assigned to Panama in the early 1980s there was some actual animosity towards Americans, mainly due to the issue of the canal.  I found that has largely dissipated but at the same time I will never look or act like a native – I’ll always be the big gringo.  I think that feeling of being an outsider, more than anything else, will keep me from living down there full time.  It also has given me a huge amount of respect for my wife who has been living outside her native culture for more than a quarter century and thriving.  I think we’ll end up living down there for 4-5 months each year and still maintain a home, albeit much smaller than our current one, in New England.  I don’t think I could choose to be away from New England in the autumn – if I have a choice.  Thankfully I do.  Of course all this logic goes out the window if both of our kids and any future grandkids end up somewhere else. 

Me Standing on Our Land - Right About Where the Pool is Going to Be