I’m still trying to make sense out of this
completely unacceptable situation. I was speaking with my Favorite Panamanian today
and she expressed the same disbelief. We both expect to wake up from this very bad
dream (worst of nightmares) and have Soxfather walk through the door. Reality
is a very harsh mistress though as Great Aunt will be meeting with the funeral
home today to schedule that ceremony. Great Aunt and I were talking yesterday
and I remarked that this is what being depressed must be like. I don’t mean to
belittle or demean people suffering with that situation at all. It’s just that
the world seems less colorful now and I feel guilty if I’m tempted to laugh at
all. I eventually get back to what Soxfather would want us to do. He loved life
and family so much that he would be devastated to think he was the cause of
reduced family laughter. He’s going to have to understand for a while though as
we make our way through this struggle to deal with his departure.
 |
| FBR Creating her Card |
My personnel odyssey of travel back from
Panama concluded on Thursday when my Favorite Daughter picked me up at the
Newark Airport. I liked the flight on United and was cleared through customs
and immigration quickly since there was literally no one else in line. Six
minutes after I left the plane, I was walking out the door and realizing I was
no longer in Panama. When I eventually linked up with my aforementioned progeny,
she was gushing about how warm it was. I felt like a wimp as my tropically
diluted blood betrayed me – I was freezing.
 |
| Back in Jersey with Daughter |
I spent the night with the New Jersey
bunch. They had told the FBR about Soxfather the night before. She had a lot of
questions but handled it well. She said Soxfather was her favorite person in
the family and now that he was gone, I was being moved to the top position. I
don’t know if I can handle that kind of pressure, replacing a legend. In an eloquent
demonstration of her depth of soul, the FBR declared that Great Aunt must be
very sad and she was going to make a card for her. This was completely unprompted
by her parents. Depth, indeed.
 |
| Meanwhile, Back in Panama |
Since my car was already parked in their
driveway from our earlier deployment to Panama my daughter and I drove to Rhode
Island Friday morning and I was finally able to hug my sister. It was something
that had been bugging me intensely since I first heard the news. She seemed a little
lost as she recounted the past week’s events. Namesake Nephew was also there so
additional hugs were requisite. We spent the afternoon with them as we gauged
what we could do to help. She was most concerned about the financial side of
things since Soxfather handled all the family bills. I told her that I was deploying
my family IT section, my daughter and son, to help with the situation. We went to
the bank to get her access to the accounts and promised to return Saturday to
address it.
 |
| Son and I At Mall |
My Favorite Son drove down from New Hampshire
Saturday morning and we all went to Rhode Island together. The hugs were again
very medicinal for both sides of the embraces. We discovered Soxfather’s phone
was hopelessly locked and we needed that to open his email since they were sending
the confirmation codes to open the email to the locked phone. After a couple
hours on the phone Friday with Apple, Inc, my daughter made an appointment at
the Apple Store at the Providence Place Mall for Saturday. My Favorite Panamanian
was a little upset that I was willing to go to a mall in her absence. She has
fought a futile marriage-long battle to get me to freely go to a mall.
 |
| Birthday Girls in Panama |
 |
| Blowing Out Candles no Longer Allowed |
The Apple Store wasn’t a lot of help but
they did point us to the nearby Verizon store which eventually got us into the phone.
We had a lunch at the nearby Cheesecake Factory where Great Aunt and I discovered
and became true acolytes of their cheese stuffed hamburgers. They cook the
burgers with the cheese already inside! We
returned to Great Aunt’s home and the IT section took turns getting Great Aunt
up to speed on both email and financials. They figured out the bills and sifted through over 1400 emails. Soxfather was very digital. I was so proud of the two of them. I contributed
by falling asleep on a very comfortable chair as I attempted to digest the impact
of that heavenly burger.
 |
| Daughter Taking her Turn with Great Aunt |
Saturday night was a huge help for my
battered soul. I watched a movie in the Man Cave with just my two kids. With
the advent of spouses and children this was a seemingly extinct scenario. We
helped each other by talking about Soxfather and generally just enjoying each other’s
company. My son revealed that the BRS had also been told about Soxfather. Her response
was to add Soxfather to her nightly prayers where she prays he will return to the
family. These granddaughters!
 |
| Happy Meal in Mom's Absence |
Sunday brought a snow storm which
delayed another trip to Rhode Island but my daughter was in need of an appropriate
dress for the upcoming funeral so I volunteered to drive her to the Natick
Mall. This brought another round of condemnation from my distant spouse as she
has tried to get me to drive her there numerous times with only about a 10%
success rate. I pled exigent circumstances which I think she bought. These
truly are extraordinary times, two malls in two days. I found a good place to people
watch and read while my daughter was on the hunt. We tried to get lunch at the Natick
Cheesecake Factory but there was an hour and a half wait. I guess the word on
the burgers is out. My son had returned home Sunday morning which meant the Favorite
Daughter and I were a team to watch the very entertaining Super Bowl together.
We were in general agreement the second half commercials were superior this
year.
 |
| I Miss the Beach! |
While all of this was going on, my Favorite
Panamanian was celebrating her birthday with her twin sister back in Panama.
She said her entire family was in mourning for Soxfather since many had met him
over the years when they visited us in the States. They set up a memorial mass
for him tomorrow in David’s main church. It is killing my wife not to be able
to be with us during this time as she treasured Soxfather which is kind of how
anyone who ever met him feels. It snowed all Sunday night so I was a little pissed
to be required to clear the driveway. Was it only a week ago I was strolling on
a tropical beach and here I was shoveling snow! This was not the plan. I went
out in my usual snow clearing garb but had to retreat inside when I realized the
wind chill factor of 0 degrees meant I needed reinforcing clothes. That thin
tropical blood coming back to haunt me again.
 |
| Uno Aficionado |
 |
| And Puzzles |
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RECURRING CHARACTERS
BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3, BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first
granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best
Family Athlete = my daughter in law; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since
high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great
Aunt - my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue
about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten
whom I reunited with after many years; Pittsburgh
College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in
Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard
deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two
close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3rd musquetera
(musketeer); Riggins - also known as
the Grandpuppy, son's dog; PanaGals
– female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife
accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia
member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife
(of course); First Friday –
celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her
single days in Brooklyn
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