Fully Carded

My trip through the labyrinth that is the Panamanian government bureaucracy finally reached a successful conclusion yesterday. We started on Monday in Panama City and continued Tuesday through Thursday in David but I am now a card carrying (provisional for at least two years) Panamanian resident, visa wise. The process was not without its hiccups – a vast understatement.

With My Hard Won Card and Our Lawyer

Anyone going through this process must engage a Panamanian lawyer or they are doomed to fail. The list of required documents is pretty straightforward but preparing these documents and getting the correct stamps is something like reading Ulysses for fun. We thought we had everything done after an exhausting day on Wednesday but the clerks at the immigration office said one of the notarized documents did not have the correct number noted and we needed more proof that my wife was actually Panamanian (not kidding).

My Wife Behind Bars

When we descended to the city level of government to attain that, we got another surprise. To prove she was Panamanian my wife had to bring to non-family member to testify that she was in fact a Panamanian (you really can’t make this stuff up). So yesterday morning we gathered back at the city office with a couple of stray PanaGals who provided the needed docs and we were on our way, or so I thought. The lawyer admitted my wife hadn’t been actually living in Panama long enough to get the needed document but the clerk we were dealing with was a college classmate of our lawyer so she let us slide (I am not kidding).

Seeing this Young Lady Helped Morale

We finally got past the first step at the immigration office but once we achieved that momentous step, we had to return to the city center in order to get that step memorialized in the form of more certifying and, you guessed it, stamping. When we arrived at our usual notary office we were told the Notary had taken off and would return in a couple hours. Luckily our lawyer knew of another Notary just a short distance away and we got the appropriate stamps. We returned to the immigration office for another painstaking wait while documents and stamps were inspected.

My wife used the time to strike up a friendship with a Chilean lady married to a Canadian who was going through the same process. Panamá truly is the cross roads of the world. After a couple hours the clerks deign to admit my documents were in order and I was presented with a provisional resident visa. It was an exhausting process which ran into the hundreds of dollars in a death by a thousand cuts scenario. Each document had to be stamped ($5 a pop) and the clerks had an absolutely voracious appetite for multiple copies of everything. Of course you had to leave the office to find a nearby business that provided copies (.30 a page). We’re all done for now though, at least until next year when I have to renew my provisional status. Our lawyer insists it won’t be as complicated (unless they change the laws). I think the small business owners around government offices, not to mention he purveyors of stamps, would rise in rebellion if it was made any easier.

Riggins Also Made his Panamanian Video Debut

We were eating a celebration lunch near the immigration offices when a random guy came up to me and said, “You don’t remember me, do you?”. I hate it when this happens because you never do remember and I immediately went to worse case scenarios where this might be the brother of one of my Panamanian girlfriends from my admittedly wild single days there. He finally helped me out by revealing he was the husband of my wife’s cousin who visited us in the early 1990s which was the last contact I’d had with him. Still, kind of scary for a few moments there.

Our Overgrown Land 

Around this epic test of my very limited patience we did manage some fun family times including a trip to the local pizza place with my brother in law and his wife. They are so much fun to hang out with and are planning on visiting us in September. They also prepared a huge, intensely chocolate, homemade cake for me. This allowed me to spread the gospel on the transformative combination of beer and cake, without many converts though. We also got a chance to video call with not only the granddaughter but my son, the ABFA, and Riggins who seemed to resent the attention they devoted to the call instead of him.

My Wife Conferring With the Guy Who'll Clear the Land

We also stopped by the piece of Panamanian land we own and are trying to sell. It was pretty overgrown as anything left unattended in Panama will soon be recovered by the jungle. We hired a guy to clear it out so it would be more attractive. The guy we hired was pretty cool and he even volunteered to help sell it for us. That would be extremely cool since whatever we gain from that sale will be used to furnish the condo which is on track to be completed in February. 2017 will be a very interesting year.

More Worcesterites in Panama Last Night

Last night we got a surprise when one of the founding members of the Worcester Chapter of the Panamanian Mafia and her family showed up at our door. She’s been down here for a few weeks caring for an aging father and her family recently joined her. It was kind of surreal seeing these people I firmly associate with Worcester down here but cake (and beer) helped assuage any oddness. Now I have two full days of actual vacation time before I return home with my very expensive and hard won Panamanian Resident card.