Today’s post was gong to be have me waxing eloquently and profoundly on reaching my retirement day tomorrow but the more I thought about it, the more I realized the world has more than enough pomposity. I’ll simply remark that it does feel weird not to have any employment plans after working steadily for the last fifty years. A good weird though. I sent out a bunch of farewell emails to the people I have been working with and said what needed to be said to them. They’re the ones that needed to hear it. Here would just be yet another case of my ability to self-aggrandize getting out of control.
Now, as to the above title; picking up
involved getting outside to retrieve all the Christmas decorations. I shouldn’t
complain because I got a warm if moist day to accomplish this. In prior years I
would find objects frozen in the ground or buried under snow; so global warming
provides a small benefit. I worked methodically from one side of the house
around to the back, placing everything next to bulkhead for movement to the basement
for storage until next year. By the time I was finished I had a veritable mountain
of accoutrement that will be a challenge to store efficiently once it all dries
out. Luckily the cursed deer figures have spent their last Christmas falling
down if even a minor breeze blows. I am going to take no small amount of
pleasure at the dismemberment ceremony that is in their immediate future. The storage
will involve guidance from my Favorite Panamanian. She is currently hors de
combat, having thrown out her back a couple days ago. She tried to ranger her
way through the pain but this morning I took her in to see the doctor who
prescribed some highspeed painkiller which immediately put her to sleep.The Bulkhead Pile
The setting up was by far the most
frustrating experience of the day. Keene Friend, my son, and the Rhode Island bunch
bought me a popcorn machine for Christmas. It is awesome and, well, we all know
what popcorn means to me. The frustrating part came to the simple instructions
for setting the machine up. My old nemesis, Chinese instruction writers, were haunting
me again. I was getting ready to blow the damned thing up when I realized the
writer did not understand what counterclockwise meant. After that it went
fairly smoothly until the glass door installation which wouldn’t fit. Since it
was glass, my default setting of brute force and ignorance should not be used.
I tinkered with it for nearly a half hour until something broke off inside the tube
and the door slid smoothly into place, just as the instructions said it would.
Predictably I shed some blood during the exercise and I didn’t know how I did
it. My wife always says she expects me to be bleeding whenever I work with my
hands. It’s my lot in life, but in the immortal words of the black knight, “It’s
just a flesh wound!”. My New Machine
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Today's Flesh Wound
RECURRING CHARACTERS
BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3, BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first
granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best
Family Athlete = my daughter in law; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since
high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great
Aunt - my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue
about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten
whom I reunited with after many years; Pittsburgh
College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in
Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard
deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two
close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3rd musquetera
(musketeer); Riggins - also known as
the Grandpuppy, son's dog; PanaGals
– female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife
accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia
member, Favorite Panamanian - the
wife (of course); First Friday –
celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her
single days in Brooklyn
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