I know I sound like a broken record, but
I'm really trying to figure out how my Favorite Panamanian so skillfully turns
the tables on me, seemingly effortlessly. I got into a modicum of trouble over
her last few days in Panama by constantly reminding her not to forget the new
Superstream TV box that I received as a gift for Christmas. It was a true
Godsend during our time at the beach and I was a little nervous about leaving
it with her. She demanded it remain in order to watch her telenovelas which, in
a huge breach of common sense, I had showed her how to tune in. Anyways, every
time we talked, I reminded her not to forget it along with the remote.
I asked her on drive back from the
airport and she indignantly assured me that she had packed it and double
checked that it was in her suitcase. I felt confident we were all set and blithely
accepted the situation. It was so crazy during our return that she didn’t get
around to unpacking until yesterday. I felt like a kid in the proverbial candy
shoppe waiting for the device to emerge. She proudly placed it in my hand but
looked scared when I asked where the remote was. She said she had seen it over the
weekend in the suitcase so it had to be here somewhere. 
Asking About Remote
There followed a frantic but fruitless search.
Casting at straws, she said the two oldest granddaughters had been playing in
the area over the weekend and we reached out to them to see if they had
acquired the device. They professed complete and believable innocence since it
didn’t involve my wife’s shoes which would have been a dicier proposition. My Favorite
Panamanian reluctantly called her mother to learn the remote was sitting in her
bedroom back in Panama. 
Assurances it is Here
It would be at this point a smart man
would accept the situation stoically and figure out what to do next. I’m not
that smart. She apparently did not appreciate the somewhat salty expressions I
used to express my general dissatisfaction with the situation. I told her I wasn’t
angry at her but at the circumstances. This did no good at all and I entered
the dreaded “silent zone”, the wife’s most devastating weapon, especially compared
to her usual communicative state. So, there’s my quandary. I had her dead to
rights, dropping the ball on something she knew was important to me and I end
up being the one in trouble. Where does she get these marvelous techniques? 
Meanwhile, Down in Panama
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RECURRING CHARACTERS:
ABFA – Amazing Best Family
Athlete - my daughter
in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter
#3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel -
second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue
about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Curbside Girls – close friends of my
daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions
once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite
Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR
- First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since
high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited
with after many years; Maine and
Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my
wife is the 3rd musquetera (musketeer); Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia
member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends
of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin
Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we
have lived & their spouses; Pittsburgh
College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in
Pittsburgh; Riggins - also known as
the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather
- my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my
son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s
mom, of course
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