As promised/threatened what follows is my rundown of the best and worst movies I saw this year. I am an unashamed movie nut. Each year I pontificate on the best and worst from only the movies I went to see. I’ve also included what I considered to be the worst movies of the year, because that’s almost more fun. You won’t find my movies on many critics top ten for the year because we go to the movies for different reasons. I go to be entertained not to judge. I’ve also chosen a quote from each of the top ten movies. As you can see I lean heavily towards action (and science fiction) but I think these films are a lot more mainstream than the out of touch film critics whose top tens are usually incomprehensible and barely entertaining. If nothing else the films below (except for the bottom two) were hugely enjoyable. Again this is only one man’s opinion and reflects only the movies I saw this year.
Best Movies
[the
characters can ask a revived corpse five questions before it dies again]
Edgin:
Were you killed in battle?
Corpse: Yes.
Edgin:
Great!
[to
Simon]
Edgin:
Four more questions, right?
Corpse: Yes.
Edgin:
No, no, no, that wasn't for you.
[to
Simon]
Edgin:
Did that count as a question?
Corpse: Yes.
Edgin:
Dammit! Only answer when I talk to you, okay?
Corpse: Yes.
Simon:
Why did you say "okay?" at the end of that?
Corpse: I didn't.
[lies
back in its coffin, dead]
Edgin:
Fantastic. Where's the shovel?
#2 – Blue Beetle – Another surprise for me, with so many of the quotes my Latina wife has used during our four decades of marriage thrown out. Loved it.
[Jaime
reveals the scarab is embedded in his back]
Milagro
Reyes: Oh, that looks as bad as I remember.
Rudy
Reyes: I've seen worse!
Milagro
Reyes: Where?
Rudy
Reyes: You don't wanna know.
#3 – John Wick 4 – The star-crossed killing machine gets a fitting send off. Longest walk up a set of stairs. Ever.
The
Elder: None of us can escape who we are, and no one escapes the Table. And the
only way John Wick will ever have freedom or peace, now or ever, is in death.
John
Wick: I know.
The
Elder: I'm afraid you've come all this way for nothing.
John
Wick: Yeah... not really.
[shoots
him in the head]
#4 – Mission Impossible, Dead Reckoning, Part 1 – Scary scenario with an AI villain and Cruise continuing to amp up the stunts.
Ethan
Hunt: [As he rides a motorcycle higher up the mountain] When do I start going
downhill?
Benji
Dunn: [Knowing that "the jump" is coming] Won't be long.
Peter
Quill: I'm-a tell you something: I'm Star-Lord! I formed the Guardians! Met a
girl, fell in love... that girl died. But then she came back. Came back, a
total dick.
Gamora:
Oh, please!
Nebula:
He left out some important information. But that is the gist of it.
#6 – Equalizer 3- yet another send off but Denzel defines cool as the mafia learns how to behave.
Marco
Quaranta: You like being in other peoples business?
Robert
McCall: Trying very hard not to be, but you make it very challenging for me.
Marco
Quaranta: You should stay out of things that are not your concern. Right? It's
bad for you.
Robert
McCall: Lord knows I'm allergic to bad things.
Robert
McCall: You know, I believe that everything in life is about timing. Now
unfortunately for you, yours isn't very good. 3 weeks ago we wouldn't be having
this conversation but I'm here now. I'm really beginning to like this place.
And the people. I'm starting to believe from the bottom of my heart that this
is where I'm supposed to be. So whatever it is you and your friends do please,
do it somewhere else.
Marco
Quaranta: You warning me?
Robert
McCall: I'm preparing you.
#7 – No Hard Feelings – Jennifer Lawrence returns with an awesome comedy turn.
Sara:
Women have all sorts of reasons for having sex. I mean, I had sex once because
I didn't want to commute in the morning.
Maddie:
I've had sex with a guy to get out of playing Settlers of Catan.
Sara:
I had sex with a guy on a first date because I thought he was going to kill me.
Jim:
Jesus. You're with me now, babe.
Maddie:
She's talking about you, dumbass.
#8 – Oppenheimer – One of the greatest stories of the 20th Century told with memorable verve and great acting.
Leslie
Groves: Are you saying that there's a chance that when we push that button...
we destroy the world?
J.
Robert Oppenheimer: The chances are near zero...
Leslie
Groves: Near zero?
J.
Robert Oppenheimer: What do you want from theory alone?
Leslie
Groves: Zero would be nice!
#9 – Creator – very entertaining look at the future and a war between humans and AI. Denzel's kid can carry an action flick.
Uncredited
Scientist/Engineer: [heard through speech translator which translates everything it hears] Go make love to yourself.
Go make love to your mother.
#10 – Kandahar – under-appreciated action flick as a CIA agent returns to post-exit Afghanistan.
Tom
Harris: Is there anyone around here who drives a brand new SUV? You know we're
supposed to blend in, right?
Mohammad
'Mo' Doud: We will. Americans left dozens of these at the Embassy. Even the
drug dealers have these... .Welcome to New Afghanistan.
Mohammad
'Mo' Doud: Same as the old.
Honorable Mention –
The Worst Movies of 2023
Expen4ables – a disaster for this formerly beloved series, whoever thought of putting Megan Fox in charge of grizzled mercenaries should be shot.
Best Comedy: No Hard Feelings
Best Horror Movie: Renfield
Best Drama: Equalizer 3
Best Romance: Blue Beetle
Best Action: Mission Impossible
Best Special Effects: 65
Best Scene of the Year: The graveyard scene in Dungeons and Dragons (see quote above)
 |
| Blue Circle Marks the Progress So Far |
RECURRING CHARACTERS:
ABFA – Amazing Best Family
Athlete - my daughter
in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter
#3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel -
second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue
about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut
Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor
of the big river; Curbside Girls – close
friends of my daughter acquired during him her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which
grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of
course); FBR - First Blog Reader -
first granddaughter; First Friday –
celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene
Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene,
NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend
since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife –
her US sisters, my wife is the 3rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew –
son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia
member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends
of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin
Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we
have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate– high
school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the
Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather -
my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course
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