Airborne, Almost

Well, I seem to have survived my “death defying” stunt yesterday of clearing out the backyard rain gutters. I was surprised at the pleas I received from my Favorite Daughter and wife after they discovered what I planned to do. I assured them both this was still within my capabilities, although, to be honest, about half way up the ladder I started to question my confidence. During a recent rain storm, I noticed the gutters were overflowing and nothing was coming out the downspout. It wasn’t genius level intellect required to figure out it was blocked. Unfortunately, the block was at the downhill side of the house which meant it was the highest from the ground.

The Climb,
I Needed the small Ladder to fully Extend the Big One

I took it as a challenge which is easy to do when your feet are firmly planted on the ground. I assured my Favorite Panamanian that I was up to the task and even if I fell I would utilize my airborne training to properly fall (Yeah, it didn’t work with her either). I also had my checkered past with falling from ladders to contend with. Back in the day (more than thirty years ago) I was helping Great Aunt paint her house and had improperly set up the ladder and fell from the highest point of her house. I luckily caught hold of the first-floor gutter as I fell by and arrested the fall with only a shin skinned down to the bone for injuries. I became something of a legend in her neighborhood as several neighbors witnessed my idiocy.

I’m not saying that was foremost in my mind as I set up the tallest ladder I had. The problem with the hillside is finding level ground to anchor the bottom of the ladder. There was a platform for the air conditioning system that I ended up using but it made for a rather steep incline. The other problem being, as I set up the ladder, it banged on the wall outside the room where my wife was. She came to the window to assess the situation and immediately decided I was sorely lacking in supervision which she just as quickly appointed herself to provide. I also received a text from my daughter asking me not to try and take pictures from the top. Oh, yee of little faith.

Favorite Panamanian Manning the Bottom of the Ladder

As I said earlier, about halfway up the ladder I realized it had been a long time since I was jumping out of airplanes and the ground looked fairly far away. After my earlier braggadocio there was no way I could take counsel of these fears though. I accomplished the promised pictures but will admit I had an absolute death grip on the ladder at the time. I was able to reach up into the gutter and cleared the blockage provided by an old shingle and some really “fragrant”, well soaked leaves. I was rewarded by a huge surge of water through the base of the pipe, right at my wife’s feet which vindicated the whole reason for the climb in the first place. She wasn’t about to admit it was necessary especially when, as I was cleaning some of the fragrance off my hands, some of it landed on her head.

Deckzilla From Above

My Favorite Panamanian had remained at the base of the ladder during my entire time aloft although I’m not sure what she could have done if it started to slip. I still admired her steadfastness, especially as she maintained it while being showered (accidently I assure you) with debris. During our evening FaceTime call with my daughter and the FBR, my granddaughter asked me about the climb. As it came up in the conversation, I mentioned that I had jumped out of many airplanes while in the Army. She seemed very concerned about this until I clarified that each time I jumped I had a parachute. She looked at me with incredulity and then stated, “I’m never joining the Army.” Airborne!!!

Should Have Remembered Old Airborne Advice 
Never Look Down, Always Focus on Horizon

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RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                        

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd musquetera (musketeer); Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather - my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course