Sensory Overload

Okay, Frail Deeds is back and you can expect a long post to make up for the two day absence (you have my abject sympathy) recounting a truly epic weekend in the great white north. I bounded around the corners on New England yesterday waking up and having breakfast in Maine, lunch in New Hampshire, dinner in Rhode Island before going to sleep in Massachusetts. Sometimes having fun trumps the need to write and while that is hardly surprising, especially to anybody who knows me, it’s a truth. The hotel also had an efficient if less than hardy Wi-Fi which would have taxed my patience more than feasible.

Mid-Crawl at the Novare Res

That is the only bad thing I can say about the hotel. The Portland Regency was perfectly located right in the heart of Portland Pub country (for me) and eclectic shopping venues (for a certain Panamanian). It looked like a refurbished National Guard armory, complete with the signature crenellated towers. We dropped the car off Friday afternoon and didn’t need it again until we pulled out on Sunday. We had a balcony room on the top floor which provided views of the harbor and some of Portland’s best rooftop graffiti.

Our Hotel - the Portland Regency

Views from our Room

Wife Trying to Steal Excellent Boss' Car

My excellent boss was already checked in and raring to go since it was, after all, the Frist Friday of the Week. We stepped around the corner to Bull Feeny’s for some pre-dinner lubrication. This pub was recommended by a co-worker who’s familiar with the locale and our initial impressions were good (latter dashed on Saturday afternoon). However this was Friday and Feeny’s approached legendary status when they brought out their Happy Hour snacks. I thought it was kind of weird when the huge bucket of bacon showed up but who am I to argue? I was halfway through a heaping plate when I realized this was not ordinary bacon. A guy at a nearby table was amused at our laudatory comments and revealed the bacon was prepared with chocolate, caramel, and some Jamaican spice. Bacon and chocolate together, and it works sublimely, who’d guessed? The guy said it was the only reason he came there every Friday. This explained the feeding frenzy when the bacon first appeared.

Excellent Boss, His and My Wife at Bull Feeny's on Friday

Great Dog City

Our Initial Group

After the next couple joined us we decided to venture forth into the Port District to secure dinner. After some ineffectual wanderings and a chance encounter with a couple huge dogs we ended up at the Fore Street Restaurant which had a great reputation. That reputation might be in for some pockmarks if our experience is any indication. The service was poor, the prices elevated, portions small, and one chicken dinner only half cooked. In need of resuscitation after this debacle we wended out way to a nearby Irish Bar, the Ri Ra. I was leery after a bad experience the year before in the Portsmouth, NH Ri Ra but this turned out to be a great place. The staff was welcoming, the beer cold and some exotic desserts were sent down range. We ended the night back at the hotel bar, the Armory, which was packed and a lot of fun. My Favorite Panamanian and I made one last excursion looking for a convenience store since I forgot to pack the most essential of all supplies – Alka Seltzer.

Fore Street 

Ri Ra Desserts

Saturday dawned with very German like weather, something that dogged up all weekend. The hotel concierge recommended the Porthole Restaurant for breakfast. It was a great recommendation, a place a lot of locals eat, located on a wharf directly across from the fish market; great food and scenery. The agenda for the day called for a splitting of forces. My wife and the excellent boss’ wife would lead a shopping expedition while the rest of us wiled away the hours on a pub crawl (unimaginable – I know). We first had to linkup with the recently arrived Operations Manager who significantly increased the decibel level.

The Ladies Outside the Porthole

Some Unfortunates Actually Need a Bus To Find Beer

Portland was the perfect location for a day like this because the shopping and pubs are intermingled in the Port District. While my wife thought 11am was too early to start a pub crawl I tried to explain how much further east we were in Maine. We started out at the Thirsty Pig which may have been my favorite pub of the day. A very engaging bartender with a true sense of humor, lacking totally in pretension which other bars were guilty of. If I ever go back to Portland the Thirsty Pig is one of two bars I will definitely hit, just great atmosphere. Our next stop was the Old Port Tavern which had some impressive aquariums that were almost mesmerizing to watch (and this was early in the crawl). We had a good time in the nearly deserted bar and decided to make dinner reservations while still capable of same. The shopping ladies heard about this rash decision and stopped in to poach beer/provide final approval.

Wandering the Street of Portland

The Old Port Tavern

The crawlers moved across the street to Gritty McDuff’s, a very typical Irish bar with a great wait staff. One thing Portland forced me to do was to abandon the usual swill that I drink, I think I only had two Coors Lites all day; everything else was craft beer (Favorite Son and Wingman will be proud of me).  Speaking of Favorite Son, when he heard what I was up to he sent along two bar recommendations, he went 1 for 2. The shopping ladies once again intruded on the crawl in search of rest room facilities. Since pubs (thankfully) are better equipped in this area that most shops we took them along to my son’s first recommended bar the Novare Res. This means to start a revolution (Mrs. Galloway, my high school Latin teacher, would be so proud of me!). I never would have found this place without my son’s recommendation and I loved it. It’s in a back street behind a parking garage but very welcoming and boasts a truly staggering variety of beer choices. This is the other bar I’ll be sure to hit if I ever get back to Portland (and it’s almost across the street from the Thirsty Pig). There were some guys in very exotic wardrobe engaged in some sort of dance party in the middle of the bar which added to the ambiance.

The Entrance to Novare Res

My Wife Stealing Some of my Beer at Novare Res

The ladies deserted us as we headed down the road to Bull Feeny’s which we’d been bragging about all day to those who missed it the night before (chocolate bacon anyone?). Unfortunately it turned out to be a massive disappointment. There were plenty of tables available but a surly waiter (who we’d tipped handsomely on Friday) said we had to wait for the hostess to seat us. We left after twenty minutes of waiting with no appearance by the hostess (check Feeny’s off of future endeavors). We landed at the Commercial Street Pub which is on the main drag (route 1) of the Port District and chosen because it looked more like a local’s place instead of touristy. We scored some needed food and the excellent boss soon found himself in deep conversation with two blonde ladies. He claims this only happens to him now because he looks “safe”. A strange couple entered the bar about halfway through our stay. They were in semi-formal attire and the very tall lady had a stunning black cocktail dress that wasn’t all there. As we moved to the next bar I had to disappoint some of my compatriots when they began remarking on her beauty by pointing out she’d sported a very functional “Adam’s apple” in “her” throat. Sometimes it’s important to note the small things.

Disappointing Riot

My excellent boss at this point decided we couldn’t leave Portland without oysters. In our search for this delicacy we ended up at Liquid Riot, the other bar my son recommended and my least favorite place of the day. I felt I’d been transported to Los Angeles where they specialize in pretentiousness. Liquid Riot seemed very corporate and every bartender imbued with attitude, like we were doing them a favor by allowing them to serve us. Definitely a place I’ll never go back to and we left after one hurried drink since we’d been summoned back to link up with the shoppers. We met up next to a fence with hundreds of locks on it, all with couple’s names. Apparently you’re supposed to put the lock on the fence and then throw the key into the nearby harbor. I checked out the harbor and there looked to be a lot more broken locks than keys on the bottom.

The Fence of Locks

Still in search of the elusive oysters the ladies peeled off when we passed a store they hadn’t pillaged yet. The Excellent Boss stole away to finally find his oysters while the rest of us returned to Ri Ra to confirm just how good a time we’d had there. All the parties eventually wandered in and we spent a couple hours there. The ladies had acquired garlic flavored popcorn somewhere along the way and that soon was strewn on the floor by some very messy eaters. Dinner back the Old Port Tavern was memorable as a group of young’uns had tried to poach our reservation and our very feisty waiter (perhaps sensing better tippers in our group) was incensed. We ended the night back in the Armory for beers and Whoopee Pies to declare the day a total success. Any day spent laughing as much as we had has to go down as a win. Nine pubs and innumerable small shops fell victim to our efforts and Portland entered the annals as a great destination. I wished I had stopped off before now.

Back at Ri Ra's

After another porthole breakfast on Sunday our adventures continued as we drove south to visit my Favorite Son, the ABFA and their newest family member, Riggins. The ABFA’s parents also showed up along with a series of friends to meet the young golden retriever pup. Our grandpuppy is every bit as charming as the pictures show and it was easy to see how happy my son was. He grew up surrounded by golden retrievers and that hole in his current life has been expertly repaired by this fluffy ball of charm. Riggins took the adoration is stride although he demanded naps, usually under the couch. We arranged a FaceTime call where granddaughter met grandpuppy over the air waves. I imagined they’ll be good friends over the next decade as they get to know each other.

Favorite Son is Very Happy

Grandma Giving out Gifts with the ABFA

I May Have Enjoyed This

Alright I loved It

Chosen Napping Spot

The FaceTimeCall

By late afternoon we were back on the road driving south to re-acquire our own Wonder Pooch who’d spent the weekend in Rhode Island with my sister and brother from another mother. Buddy was his usual apoplectic self upon seeing us and demanded that we leave immediately. We first took the babysitters out for dinner in one of those off the main drag Italian restaurants that Rhode Island specializes in. The company was what made it special though (that and the prime rib). It was one of those weekends where we sashayed from one fun time to another which culminated with that special dinner. Life can only be fully appreciated if you’re surrounded by great people and I’m truly blessed tin that department. I can’t believe you’ve hung with me for this long, you must be some kind of masochist. I’ve failed miserably to adequately document the extent of good natured fun my Favorite Panamanian and I had over the past weekend. We owe it to the people we were lucky enough to spend the weekend with from start to finish. Since you’ve been two whole days without granddaughter pictures – here’s what I stocked up over the weekend.