Wednesday, April 8, 2026

Powerless Procedures

First of all, the good news. My mother-in-law is back home and recovering. She was finally released from the hospital on Monday. My Favorite Panamanian remains in David to help out with home care for her mom so my geographic bachelorhood proceeds apace. In today’s update, she revealed I would not be picking her up tomorrow as planned. She is going to continue her role as a PCA until Saturday. I have a sneaking suspicion that she’s enjoying her time back in her home town with the opportunity to hang out with Tia Loca. I certainly don’t begrudge her that, family is just that. I’m not exactly suffering either, as I just looked up after writing that previous line and saw the waves beckoning. They have been sub-standard this week so it hasn’t been a cake walk. The Saturday change is because we will be celebrating my brother-in-law’s birthday, which is actually today. So, feliz cumpleanos Hermano!!!

The Birthday Boy and his Wife
As my time in this tropical paradise winds down, I made the crucial error a couple weeks ago to remark on how lucky we’ve been with power outages this year. I know, rookie mistake. You can all guess what that has led to since that unfortunate statement. Yesterday was a scheduled outage, which is a little easier to prepare for. That period joined a couple of other unscheduled ones, including a fourteen hour one. The Upstairs Neighbors decided to abandon the condo complex yesterday while this was going on so I had the entire place to myself, kind of lonely, but again, a tropical paradise.

Today's Completely Substandard Sunset

But We had a Great Crew



We have honed our power outage techniques over our years here because they are a regular occurrence. The complex has a generator which is supposed to kick on when the power goes out. That only feeds the common areas and the elevator and not inside the individual condos. Once the power goes out, we have a spooled-up power cord that reaches out to one of those common areas which we can plug the fridge into. We also draw the curtains to block the tropical sun since the air conditioning is not working. I spent the entire day out on the beach under our rancho since a nice breeze was blowing. The only time I was in the condo all day was for a short lunch where I hooked up a small fan to the external power.

Power Out - Fan Set Up

Fridge's Lifeline

Curtains Drawn

Since I was by myself last night a horror movie was appropriate. The Bride is a wild mix of horror, humor, and just plain craziness. Jesse Buckley follows her Oscar winning role with something completely different. That is a vast understatement. She is compelling as a resurrected lady in 1930s Chicago at the request of Christian Bale’s Frankenstein monster. They are a bizarre couple, to say the least, but despite their body count, you can’t help but root for them. The bride is possessed by the spirit of Mary Shelly and that didn’t really work well, distracting when it didn’t need to. While this movie has a lot of faults, it’s hard to look away from and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

FBR with Pistachio - Can't Wait to See Them Soon
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete – my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn; Czech Connection – Czech couple who’ve become good friends along with their daughter (the Czech Shadow); Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Seis Amigos - two couples from our condo complex and my wife and I; Soxfather – my brother-in-law (whom I miss more than I can ever explain); Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Upstairs Neighbors – American couple and great friends who live in condo above us in Panama; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course

Sunday, April 5, 2026

Evolutionary Easter Dinner

First of all, Happy Easter to all. I hope you were able to spend the holiday with family and friends. My Easter was a work in progress. We originally planned on hosting Easter dinner here at the condo and my Favorite Panamanian volunteered me to cook another turkey. She purchased the aforementioned bird as well as all the other needed accoutrement. Then my mother-in-law had her fall and was hospitalized. The Easter dinner evolved to a dinner at Tia Loca’s home when my mother-in-law was released from the hospital. Then my mother-in-law had a relapse involving dehydration issues and went into the hospital again. The dinner evolved to take place at her house, planning on her being there. The final evolution took place on Friday when we learned she wouldn’t be discharged from the hospital until Monday at the earliest.

Round One

Round Two
Since we already had the turkey and everything else, we decided to go ahead with the dinner at my mother in law’s house, even though she wouldn’t be able to attend. Since my wife’s siblings were rotating duty at the hospital, we had to have the dinner in shifts. I prepared everything except the mashed potatoes at the condo on Saturday. It was a very interesting cart laden with the meal as we headed out this morning. Preparing the potatoes in David was as hot and humid as I anticipated. My Favorite Panamanian was a heroine by standing in the kitchen doorway holding up a fan to keep the air moving in the un-air conditioned kitchen.

The Turkey Prepped
The first round of the meal involved Tia Loca, my wife’s twin sister, and my wife’s brother’s daughter. Despite the fractured process of creating the meal, everything turned out nearly perfect. The Upstairs Neighbor had prepared one of her fabulous chocolate cakes. Despite my declared intention to forget to bring it with us so I could devour it all myself when we returned, my wife is made of sterner stuff and insured it traveled with us. It was every bit as good as I anticipated. Tia Loca relieved her brother at the hospital and along with his wife, they joined us for the second round of dinner. He brought the best news which was his mom is steadily improving and will hopefully get her release tomorrow.  

The Dinner Loaded Up for Transport to David
So, a very interesting Easter. No egg hunt and a decided lack of chocolate bunnies (inside family joke involving my mother and Great Aunt) but still fun. That always seems to happen when I get to spend time with my wife’s incredible family. Even though they’ re dealing with the uncertainty and concern with their mother’s situation, they were a lot of fun to hang out with. I returned to Las Lajas alone since my wife, in her continued procession towards sainthood, volunteered to take the night duty with her mom for the rest of the week. My return to  geographical bachelorhood had the usual benefit of the sunset social hour with the Upstairs Neighbors today.

Sunset Pizza Friday with Upstairs Neighbors
My earlier episode of geographic bachelorhood included the celebration of the First Friday of the Week. The Upstairs Neighbors performed their usual role augmenting celebratory requirements. The festivity included our weekly trip to the village for Sunset Pizza and gelato (they had Oreo flavored!!!!). We had a canine kind of time at Sunset. The owner’s in-house dog, a miniature Jack Russel, has finally decided to emerge from hiding behind the counter. She identified me as an easy mark (it was probably the scent of pepperoni pizza versus any inherent attraction) and I kept feeding her a steady stream of pepperoni. As we sat outside with our gelato, a gorgeous chocolate lab showed up and adopted me. I was tempted to take him home with us, but I have a track record with my wife in terms of showing up with unannounced Labrador retrievers. I didn’t think there was any way I could be as lucky as I was with Buddy the Wonder Pooch.

Owner's Dog

My Lab Friend
I wasn’t the only one overachieving on Friday night. The BRS and BR3 had a parents night at their school. The BRS took first prize in the duck throw which involved throwing a stuffed duck a half court distance in the school gym with the closest one to an “X” being the winner. The BRS, given her very athletic parentage, nailed the X to take first prize. BR3 also got to spend some additional quality time with her kindergarten teacher whom she has apparently thoroughly charmed (it’s what she does). I can’t wait to see them soon as our Stateside return bears down upon us.

BRS Competing

The Champ
BR3 and her Teacher
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete – my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn; Czech Connection – Czech couple who’ve become good friends along with their daughter (the Czech Shadow); Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Seis Amigos - two couples from our condo complex and my wife and I; Soxfather – my brother-in-law (whom I miss more than I can ever explain); Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Upstairs Neighbors – American couple and great friends who live in condo above us in Panama; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course

Thursday, April 2, 2026

Some Scares

Tuesday Dinner Back in David
I haven’t been on Frail Deeds recently because we’ve had to deal with some health issues here in Panama while the family Stateside dealt with a passing. Last Friday my Favorite Panamanian was back in David to spend some time with her mom while our time in Panama is dwindling. She got up late at night and noticed light emanating from her mother’s bedroom. She went in to check and found her mother had fallen while going into the bathroom. My wife got her to the hospital first thing in the morning and the initial diagnosis was truly scary. After a couple x-rays in the emergency room, it was initially thought she had fractured her femur near the hip joint as well as a couple broken ribs. Keep in mind, my mother-in-law is 93 years old.

Recent Photo with her Grandkids, My Son and Daughter
She was eventually seen by an orthopedic surgeon who confirmed the broken ribs but said there was no femur break. Since that was the scariest part of that preliminary analysis, a collective relief breath was taken. She was admitted for treatment for a couple days and returned home on Monday. Hospital stays in Panama are a lot different than in the States. Family members are expected to spend the night in the room with the patient. My wife did that over the weekend and returned to Las Lajas late on Sunday. Even though her mom was back home, a caregiver was still needed to spend the night in her room with her as she recovers. My Favorite Panamanian and her sisters are rotating the duty. My wife’s night was Tuesday, and I volunteered to return to David with her because I wanted to see how my mother-in-law was doing and didn’t want my wife to have to make multiple trips back and forth from the beach. I was glad that I did because her mom seemed very chipper and happy to see us. She has a breathing exercise machine she must use every hour. My brother-in-law and I moved a recliner into the bedroom, so whomever has the duty has a place to sleep. Since I am virtually no help whatsoever, outside of situational security, in the healthcare field, my wife sent me to the movies to get me out of her hair. I saw two movies, both of which involved a capable young lady fighting demonic forces. I knew at the first decapitation that my wife wasn’t missing anything she would have wanted to see.

Yesterday's Cloudy Sunset

But With a Great Crew!

And Some Late Entertainment


We picked a great time to be away from the condo since the power went out around 1AM on Wednesday morning and didn’t come back on until nearly three in the afternoon. The Upstairs Neighbors, as they are wont to do, were heroes and plugged in our fridge to generator power so we didn’t lose everything inside. We returned in time for me to get in a hurried boogie boarding session before gathering for the daily sunset social hour. The rainy season is definitely approaching which has made the sunset view a hit or miss occasion. Fortunately, the actual sunset is only a corollary benefit to the gathering. The time socializing with friends is the most important part and that was up to its usual lofty standard, despite the cloud cover.

Wingman and his Dad
The news was less fortunate back in the States. Wingman’s dad finally succumbed to a long period of failing health. I’d only met Dan a couple times, but I could tell Wingman got a lot of his outgoing personality from that source. The last few years have been a challenge for Wingman as his dad made what turned out to be this final struggle with his health. It’s at times like this I wish we were closer so I could drive down to New Jersey to offer some support. Wingman is in a good place and said he’s glad his dad has finally at peace. Please send some thoughts and prayers his way.

FBR on the Big Screen
Wingman’s daughter, the inimitable FBR, has continued her nascent ice hockey career. She’s become a big fan of the New York women’s professional hockey franchise who plays in nearby Newark. She once again made the big screen cheering on her team. It’s obvious she’s a fan because in an accompanying photo I could hear her asking her mom if they could stay after the game ended for the revealing of the top three stars. Wingman also is now the proud owner of a hot pink Barbie fanny pack for attending the game. So, there’s that.

The movies I saw while back in David started out with They Will Kill You. I’m glad Zazie Beetz finally got to be the lead in an action flick. She had done yeoman work in prior films stealing scenes in limited exposure. She dominates here as a capable fighter trying to rescue her sister from servitude in a mysterious NYC skyscraper. The kicker, the building is a demonic sanctuary and the residents are virtually unkillable. This is the perfect role for Beetz as she battles against impossible odds against the determined but clumsy residents. I loved the cartoon violence which was comically over the top at times, including the climactic battle with a pig’s head. I was surprised at the end credits that many of the supporting characters were well known actors cleverly disguised. A great little comedy/horror flick.

The second film was Ready or Not 2, Here I Come. I loved the original movie of a bride unknowingly marrying into a demonic family which included a wedding night hide and seek game to the death. The second film picks up in the direct aftermath of the wedding night and bodies start exploding almost immediately. There are more families of the same type who want to continue the game and include the lead character’s sister this time out. Samara Weaving once again carves up the screen and her pursuers as the bride. There is a very clever script which gives her ample grounds to defend herself in lethal fashion against her hunters. I thought they spent a little too much time exploring the family issues she had with her sister but this was every bit as much diabolical fun as the first film.

Rainy Morning
Finally, as I stated above the rainy season is impending. I woke up this morning to find a steady rain falling on the beach. I know, poor baby. We also had an earthquake this morning which we could feel here even though it was centered up near the Costa Rican border. Yep, may be time to head north.

We're at the Blue Dot
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete – my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn; Czech Connection – Czech couple who’ve become good friends along with their daughter (the Czech Shadow); Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Seis Amigos - two couples from our condo complex and my wife and I; Soxfather – my brother-in-law (whom I miss more than I can ever explain); Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Upstairs Neighbors – American couple and great friends who live in condo above us in Panama; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course

Sunday, March 29, 2026

Five Sixths

I’ve had a very active weekend despite the profound absence of my Favorite Panamanian. As usual, I can lay the blame for my entertaining living at the feet of my friends. That includes the usual suspects here in Las Lajas, the Upstairs Neighbors. However, they were joined in that effort with the long absent Panamanian component of the Seis Amigos. They arrived on Friday, in time for the sunset social hour which added a welcome sense of “this is how it’s supposed to be”. Since they are both significantly younger than the other four members of the Seis, they are still gainfully employed, and work has kept them in Panama City for most of our time here this year.

Five of the Seis Amigos at Sunset Pizza Friday Night
Before their arrival, we had the week-long delayed afternoon at the Coco Loco. You’ll remember (maybe you won’t) that we showed up at the down-the-beach bar last Friday thinking there would be a singer. We hadn’t bothered to check the date but had a great afternoon with the Upstairs Neighbors and their visitors. We were joined there yesterday by a sizable percentage of the Las Lajas ex-pat community, mostly Canadians with some Germans and a couple more Statesiders, in addition to us. Other than the pungent German gentleman (who hadn’t showered lately) standing right behind me, it was another delightful Coco Loco afternoon.

Coco Loco Friday Afternoon
After the very fun sunset social hour which saw a severe depletion of my cooler’s population (something I can count on when the Seis are together), we loaded up in the Panamanian’s truck for a trip into the village for Friday pizza and beer. Sunset Pizza’s owner was back from her Stateside adventures and the service returned to sublime levels. It was so good having the Seis (actually Cinco with my wife’s absence) and we Chiri-Gringos tried to show the Panamanians how much they were missed. That’s the very cool aspect to such good friends, we picked up the comradery as if no time had passed. My Favorite Panamanian was definitely missed though, despite my alcohol fueled Spanish (Coco Loco to Sunset Social Hour to Sunset Pizza) which induced some quizzical looks.

Friday Sunset Social Hour
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete – my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn; Czech Connection – Czech couple who’ve become good friends along with their daughter (the Czech Shadow); Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Seis Amigos - two couples from our condo complex and my wife and I; Soxfather – my brother-in-law (whom I miss more than I can ever explain); Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Upstairs Neighbors – American couple and great friends who live in condo above us in Panama; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course

Wednesday, March 25, 2026

A Revisit

Last week I received a treasure trove of additional photos from our friends who were visiting us from Rhode Island. There were some great photos of my Favorite Panamanian’s epic 70th birthday party as well as some shots of my son’s and daughter’s visit. Since one of the stated reasons for this whole blog thing is to preserve evidence of our family’s life, I’m including many of them here. It was fun going through them to relive our special time with family and friends here in paradise. Enjoy.

Pre-Party, Me with my Kids and our Panamanian Family
Except my wife Who must have been Changing
Party Location with Formerly Floating Candles

Party Revving Up

So Much Fun
Upstairs Neighbors Being Greeted by Granddaughter
Party Welcoming Crew with Czech Shadow

Granddaughters Wore the Long Dresses Under Protest

Visiting Czechs

The Shadow

Wife's Mom had So Much Fun at Party

Wingman and Daughter

Wife's Brother and His Daughter


Me with Stateside Visiting Party Goers

Maine Musquetera's Sister and her Husband

My Daughter

Wife's Mom, Brother and his Wife

Wife's Cousin Table

Wife Giving Macarena Lessons

So Funny

Party Seating Area

Wife with her Siblings

Lot of Beauty on Display that Day

Upstairs Neighbors Enjoyed it

Tia Loca About to Start Trouble Somewhere

Brother in Law with his Family

Wife with her Uncle

Mother in Law with her Sister and in-laws

Awww - ABFA and my Son

Finally got a Representative Sized Piece of Cake

Wife with Sisters and Cousins

Mom in Law with Cousins

Mother in Law Loved Sunday Party Too

Tia Loca's Son's Girlfriend Forgot Flip Flops to Cross Hot Sands

Son and His Family

Maine Musquetera

Visiting Rhode Island Friends

ABFA and Granddaughters Taking Break from Beach

World Record Sunset Social Crew

Upstairs Neighbors Savoring Sunset Gelato

Czech Friends

Tia Loca

BRS and ABFA

Joined by Daughter and FBR
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete – my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn; Czech Connection – Czech couple who’ve become good friends along with their daughter (the Czech Shadow); Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Seis Amigos - two couples from our condo complex and my wife and I; Soxfather – my brother-in-law (whom I miss more than I can ever explain); Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Upstairs Neighbors – American couple and great friends who live in condo above us in Panama; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course