Faceted Courage

Wife Surrounded by Cousins in Panama

Mother Nature pulled another of her New England weapons from the arsenal today to make driving even more adventuresome – “ice fog”.  I don’t remember hearing about this before but it involves not only a dense fog but the added benefit of a thin layer of ice coating everything – so, interesting.  It didn’t take much courage to drive in today, only blind faith in destiny.  Luckily, today wasn’t the day and I survived long enough to attend the monthly board meeting.  (So it wasn’t a complete win).

I had cause to think on courage this week and it’s a subject that comes up a lot in military circles where it’s a cherished and almost revered commodity.  Seeing the movie Lone Survivor and then finishing Michael J. Fox’s book, A Lucky Man, A Memoir this week both involved different aspects of courage.

Fox’s book was well written if a little too apologetic and self effacing.  It was almost like he wanted the reader to believe he’s not as nice as his celebrity personae.  In that he failed miserably, as he comes across as a thoughtful guy who’s facing the incredible challenge of Parkinson’s Disease with dignity and courage.  

I really liked that he seemed to get the illusionary relevance of fame and the shallowness of celebrity “culture” (that word needed quotation marks when used with the one preceding it).  Fox is a few years younger but he rose to fame as an actor roughly the same time I was negotiating adulthood (some would say this is an ongoing process at best). It was almost like we grew up together.  That may be his appeal – he feels like a pesky younger brother. 

I was most struck by learning the back story about getting his disease at the height of his fame and his chosen response.  He doesn’t pat himself on the back, much more the opposite, relentlessly taking himself to task for his failures to be as perfect as he hoped to be.  What did come through was his quiet bravery in facing a debilitating disease aimed straight at his ability to pursue his life’s work.  It also points out the power of the support of a good woman, his wife Tracey.  A great read as I got a behind the scenes look at the real Alex Keaton, Marty McFly, and Michael Flaherty (the fact I could pull those character names up without thinking illustrates how imbedded he is in popular culture), a really courageous guy.

Courage is not something you’re born with.  There certainly are people who are genetically predisposed to recklessness such as bungee jumpers and extreme sports dudes but that’s not courage (maybe just a lack of certain brain cells).  Courage can be taught, otherwise the military could not succeed.

There Are All Kinds of Courage

Courage is about putting the needs of others before your own self interest because it’s natural to want to look out for yourself first.  Suborning that natural impulse thinking about others first requires some courage, surrendering a little bit of yourself. 

I was in continual awe during my military career of the young infantry Soldiers I was lucky enough to lead.  Their ability to do simple acts of personal generosity aimed at the success of the group as a whole is the real secret to the success of the U.S. military is recent conflicts and it comes from the society that produced them.

Most societies are replete with examples of courage.  The mother who puts the needs of her children and family before her own is the most common.  I am still  wonder at the courage of my wife.  She chose to follow a guy (that would be me) to a country she didn’t speak the language of and raise a family in a completely alien culture knowing I would be gone for long stretches of time.  She did it so well and with such grace that the only word I can use to describe it is bravery – exquisite bravery.  So Fox isn’t the only lucky man.

Brave One on the Right With Her Sister (One of the Famous PanaGals)

 

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