Anchoring Coping Strategies Embarkation

The wife safely arrived in Panama and when last seen was heading out shopping when our Skype connection fell victim to one of those automatic updates you don’t know about until the computer shuts itself down.  The allure of shopping (and probably dancing) with her feisty younger sister (one of the infamous yet beautiful Panagals) won over the five minute wait for the connection to be restored.  My niece answered my call back with a bemused report on the attendant pandemonium of my wife’s arrival.

One of the Coolest Things About Internet - Flight Tracking
This Was My Wife's Flight Yesterday - Note the Difference in Temperatures
Between Departure and Arrival Locations

Meanwhile back in the polar vortex I faced the first day of solitary living; if solitary is even an appropriate description given the presence of Buddy the Wonder Pooch.  When I was on the video call my wife said everyone down there was concerned for me because the Panamanian news was reporting that Obama had ordered all Americans to stay inside due to the intense cold.  She got a little peeved when I started laughing at the sheer impossibility of this.  I said I had just come in from running the wonder pooch around the back yard and she was aghast at the danger I had apparently been in.  Panamanians brook no confrontations with sub zero weather.

The state police K-9 unit invaded our garage at work yesterday to keep the dogs from working in the cold (per Obama’s order I’m sure).  It’s always cool to watch these beautiful animals train.  The garage is right outside my office so I was treated to a new police K-9 tactic which apparently involves barking someone into submission.   This was a little less cool.

Staties Operating Outside my Office Door

When I pulled into my own garage after work I had a momentary good feeling when I saw my wife’s car (signaling she was home) before reality intruded.  I launched into my coping strategies developed over the past few years of extended spousal absences.  To no one who knows me surprise, Hollywood is involved.  I’ve got a huge stack of movies that arrived on Christmas day that I’ve been saving for the marital sabbatical. 

The Stack

My son also gifted me what I refer to as “torture puzzle”.  He took a page right out of his sister’s diabolical playbook from what we refer to as “the French Puzzle Torment”.  It’s a puzzle about the size of a post it note that you actually have to use hot pink tweezers to assemble (I’m not kidding).  The puzzle pieces are tiny, see picture with one on the tip of my finger.  My progeny know me well enough that I can’t resist a challenge so I fell victim to this cruel trap, cursing my idiocy throughout while keeping a wary eye out for the devastating tail switches of a certain black lab.

My Son's Attempt on my Sanity

Escaping from my children’s latest attempt on my sanity I went to see Anchorman2:  The Legend Continues.  My wife absolutely loathes Will Ferrell so seeing this when she was around was not in the books.  I loved the first movie which has some of the best lines in movie history; this latest one – not so much.  It still has some funny moments as the totally inappropriate Ron Burgundy moves to New York City and impales us with the 1980s. 

In reality this was a one joke concept and there was no way they were going to pull a lot more laughs from the concept.  They use the same bits from the first movie and it’s mostly stale except for a refreshing knock on the descent of television network news (one of my favorite objects of scorn) that began around this time.  The movie is rescued a little bit near the end with the battle of anchormen which turns into a hilarious cameo- a-palooza.  Ferrell must have a lot of compromising pictures because a number of A-List stars suddenly start popping up for the fight, along with a were-hyena and the Minotaur. I’ve always loved cameos by big stars so this was kind of fun which couldn’t be said for the majority of the flick. 

My wife left a long list of instructions, knowing how much I rely on her guidance for my daily existence.  She was particularly concerned about the survival chances for her forest of house plants and the incipient chaos sure to bloom in the Tupperware cabinet (where I am normally forbidden from entering).  I took no small measure of pride in my first foray into the cabinet in years.

Today's Choices (kind of cheating - she selected this before leaving)

My wife’s biggest concern, bar none, was the role she plays each day in choosing what I wear to work.  For most of my adult life the Army was kind of enough to tell me exactly what to wear each day.  Civilians have it much tougher and my wife has correctly surmised the world is not ready for the impact of my fashion statements.  She bemoaned the fact that she would not be around to order me back upstairs when I chose the wrong tie, shirt and pants combination.  For that reason I’m starting a new segment on the blog where I’ll post a picture of my fashion choices for the day.  I will rely on friends (except for the Cantankerous One) to advise me if I’ve wandered too far afield in striving for sartorial relevance.  If nothing else, my wife seeing these photos down in Panama, might decide she has to return early.