I have a new theory about coronavirus outbreak that
is worthy of only the most psychotic of conspiracy theorists (you know who you
are). I’m now convinced this pandemic is a result of an insidious plot by the
makers of skin cream. Yes. I know. The most obvious culprit would be the Purrell
Company – makers of the now disappeared hand sanitizers, but that’s too obvious.
My money is on the skin cream folks because they knew repeated, vigorous hand
washing would result in chapped hands and an increased reliance on their
product. That’s what make the plot so sinister – it provides plausible
deniability. I figured we were still close enough to April Fool’s Day to make
this assertion. I have noticed though what a toll vigorous hand washing takes
on the back of my hands. I don’t know how the medical professionals do this day
in and day out, even without the motivation of a pandemic. Chapped hands are definitely
a better problem than the virus.
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| FBR at the River Yesterday |
The FBR was back at the rock skipping creek we
discovered on my last trip there. She and Wingman were there yesterday on what
was a lot sunnier day than we had around here. I noticed the rock population along
the river bank was noticeably depleted since my visit. The FBR is nothing if
not industrious. Meanwhile, up in New Hampshire, the ABFA was playing a new
game my son and her daughter had cooked up. My son and the BRS have a game on
the couch where the BRS climbs up to the top of my son’s head and then is cast upon
some nearby pillows. My Favorite Panamanian claims he learned this from his own
father but who can really know. Las evening during our FaceTime call the BRS
was attempting the same game with the now 7 month pregnant ABFA. I don’t think
she was a huge fan of the game. Everybody stay safe out there.
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RECURRING
CHARACTERS
BR3
– inbound
granddaughter #3, BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel
- second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog
Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA –
Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law; Wingman – my son in law; Keene
Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene,
NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since
grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to
attract women; Pittsburgh College
Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which
grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two
close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3rd musquetera
(musketeer); Riggins - also known as
the Grandpuppy, son's dog; PanaGals
– female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife
accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia
member, Favorite Panamanian - the
wife (of course); First Friday –
celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her
single days in Brooklyn
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