Coconut Drop and Mantas

I’ve added a new talent to my ever-expanding resume. These are important additions now that I am perpetually unemployed. In the way of introduction, my Favorite Panamanian always establishes a close relationship with the caretaker dudes for our condo complex. She remembers them at Christmas and always brings snacks back for them when we make our forays back to what qualifies for civilization. A result of these kindnesses is they will do virtually anything she asks of them. Our property is blessed with a lot of palm trees with ample coconuts. My Favorite Panamanian loves fresh coconut water and you can do the math. My new talent? Coconut catcher.

The Drop

The Tapping

The caretaker climbed the palm tree and detached the coconuts and I was charged with catching them they dropped. It’s actually easier than it sounds and well within my talent range (I hasten to add). By the time we were finished the tree was nearly denuded. My wife and the caretaker were extolling the virtues of coconut water and trying (unsuccessfully) to get me to try it. The caretaker started tapping the downed coconuts and my wife soon had a gallon worth of the stuff and a bunch of leftover coconuts which now adorn our condo’s front door.

Outside our Front Door

The Call Last Night

We had a very fun First Friday Family Facetime call last night. The overriding subject was Panama since everybody on the call will be visiting us here within the next month. Score!!! The BRS had a stomach bug and when she reported this to her parents the first thing she asked was “This won’t keep us from going to Panama will it?”.  I love that kid.  As you can see from the photo, the FBR was up to her usual profiling behavior, she can ooze attitude when she wants.

Beach This Morning

With My Favorite Walking Partner

She is So Cute!

For those of you who were worried about my boogie boarding career and the sub-standard waves we experienced last year, not to worry. The Las Lajas surf has returned to its natural height and strength. I’ve already been flipped twice. I had a mild sphincter shrinking experience earlier this week as one of the waves loomed over me prior to breaking. A fairly small manta ray was soaring through the wave directly in front of me. I had no desire to make its intimate acquaintance, especially since I had the misfortune of watching a Discovery program which said rays were a staple diet for sharks. I’ve never seen a shark here and I’m not seeking that in any way, shape or manner. I come from the Jaws generation. I declared victory and headed for shore after the ray and I passed each other.

Sunset Last Night

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                     

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during him her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather - my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course

So, This is Retirement

It’s taken me the better part of a year to figure out how I wanted to treat this whole “unemployed because I’m so damned old” scenario. In a statement that will probably surprise no one, I love it. I was worried that I’d miss being gainfully employed but I don’t. At all. I miss the people I worked with because I was always singularly blessed in that area. These sojourns on the beach have certainly sweetened the pot in the acceptance phase of being unproductive. I’ve fallen into a routine that I genuinely enjoy.

My View While Reading Each Day

The biggest change has been using the most of every morning to work out. It isn’t the pre-breakfast hurried routine from Army years either. The workout here in Panama is pre-breakfast because that’s before the sun isn’t at it’s most brutal then. (hope my dermatologist saw that). I’ve found that I enjoy the routine of a daily workout and miss it when it gets supplanted by more important activities. The rest of the day (that I control) usually involves reading, watching movies, or writing, all activities I treasure.

Local Vultures Dining on Some Seafood During Our Walk

My Favorite Panamanian has decided to join me for my morning beach walk, the last event of my morning workout. It’s weird because we literally spend most of every waking and non-waking moment together but these walks have greatly increased out conversational interaction. I mean we talk all the time but usually about minor and question/answer situations. Then there’s the phone and my wife’s almost surgical attachment to it. During these walks, other than taking in the spectacular scenery, we spend the time talking about a whole gamut of subjects. It has everything to recommend it and I get to work on knocking more rust off my Spanish.

Full Moon Out at Dusk Behind our Condos

I’ve read more in the last week than I have in a good month. I learned last year that instead of waiting for a favorite author to publish something new, it was fun to revisit old series that I hadn’t read in a while. Last year I read all the John D. McDonald Travis McGee novels. I’ve plowed through four Jack Reacher books in the week we’re been down here so far. I learned it is important to download the books onto the Kindle (even though I’ve had them for years) before leaving the States. There are arcane international publishing laws that add expense if I try to do the same thing here. Reading is also so much fun here because of the attendant view Las Lajas offers, including the occasional string bikini. Like I said, retirement, I think I love it.

Last Night's Sunset Was Too Beautiful to Confine to One Photo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                      

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during him her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather - my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course

Breath Taken Then a Zinger

I’m finally starting to get the rest my fairly aged body has been declaring was needed after the past couple weeks of over indulgence in the fun department. My Favorite Panamanian and I are alone at the condo for the first time since we arrived which has allowed a little more sedate living. I’ve rolled back into my morning workout routine and we once again have practically the entire condo complex to ourselves. I’ve learned that I need to work out each day. I know that sounds pompous but I had some strange nights during our travel here when I didn’t get a chance to work out. My legs cramped up severely each night and the nightly dose of tonic water did nothing to alleviate. The cramps were enough to wake me from a heavy (Atlas assisted) sleep. I blame all the work on the stationary bike over the past few months. As soon as I got to the beach and started working out each morning, the nocturnal cramps disappeared. The legs get a great workout during the boogie boarding. Fun and productive. So that’s all good but life is once again playing its insidious jokes on me that are not always seriously appreciated.

Had my Favorite Panamanian for the Beach Walk This Morning

Over the weekend we noticed the refrigerator, but not the freezer, wasn’t cooling things down much. I, at first, put this down to too many people patronizing the thing and a balky door which doesn’t always close if you don’t pay attention. An increased focus on the door did not achieve any improvement and it was time to call our local repairman. That’s one of the things about living in Panama, it’s all about who you know to get things done. This permeates most levels of the society. It certainly applies to getting repair work done. Luckily, my Favorite Panamanian is gregarious to the point of sainthood and has acquired the needed contacts over the years.

A Great Way to Start the Day

We’ve got an AC/refrigerator repair dude in the nearby small village. We have to go pick him up and bring him back but the convenience is more than worth that effort. We brought him in and he quickly diagnosed the problem as a blown motor. He extracted the part and told us a couple places in David that might have the piece. So off we set for David, dropping the repair guy off at his home along the way. We dropped in on my brother-in-law who knows David really well and he was able to get us to both places. That was the good news. I bet you have already guessed the bad news. Not only did they not have the part, no one in Panama had it. We were told they might be able to get it within three to five weeks but that I would be in line behind a bunch of other people for it. Like I said, bad news.

Our Beach This Morning

I’d already decided if that was the result of our search, we’d bite the bullet and just buy a new refrigerator; hence the zinger in the title of this post. We returned to the place we bought the original, knowing they deliver to Las Lajas, and bought a new one. It’ll be delivered next week. Our first, and most important criteria for the salesman – the new fridge had to have parts readily available in Panama. Our repair guy is back today jury rigging something that will hopefully last until next week. We’ll be living out of a cooler and the freezer, which still works, until then. We’ve also reached a deal with the repair guy which he’ll eventually fix the old one and sell it, splitting the proceeds with us. It wouldn’t be Panama without a bit of an adventure.

Surf is Back up to Las Lajas Standards

It's been kind of a weird start to our visit here. We decided to make the move here for the winter because our New England winter coincides with the Panamanian dry season. After a solid eight months of torrential rains, the spigot is literally turned off and it doesn’t rain again until March. At least that’s the game plan. We’ve had a couple days with some solid rain, tropical levels, which can be awe inspiring. We’ve had some spectacular light shows as these lightning laden storms passed off shore over the Pacific. I’m sure this is somehow connected to global warming but today was as perfect a dry season day as I could have hoped for. I know, into each life, some of that pesky stuff has to fall.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                     

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during him her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather - my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course

2023 and Last Year’s Movies

I’m finding it very difficult to find time to write on Frail Deeds and it has everything to do with the people I’m with and the place I’m at; all for the very blessed of reasons. We’ve ushered the new year in here in the tropical paradise that is Playa Las Lajas. Our condo has been the site of a mini family reunion of my Favorite Panamanian’s immediate family. As predicted that meant almost non-stop laughter over the past couple days, mostly involving my brother-in-law and Tia Loca. As the two youngest of my wife’s siblings, they have made it their life’s goal to torment the other as often and as thoroughly as possible. I love it and not just because it takes Tia Loca’s focus off her second favorite target, a certain gringo blog writer.

New Years Eve at the Beach

The downside of the holiday was the arrival of nearly half of the condo’s residents. We’ve been incredibly spoiled over the past few years by having the entire complex almost entirely to ourselves for long stretches so it is definitely out of the ordinary sharing. While there has been an increase in the string bikini quotient (always welcome), it does feel a bit crowded. We also had a group of youngsters (in their 20s) who wanted to greet the new year by power drinking on the beach form early morning for nearly 24 hours. They were insular but polite. We also had a celebrity that I am supposed to be impressed by. He is a big deal in the reggae rap world, so you can understand my ignorance. I will have to channel the lessons we’re constantly preaching to the granddaughters about “sharing”. We danced away New Years Eve in the condo. I took a break from the festivities to prep the turkey for the next day’s big meal.

Beach Time with Brother in Law

New Years Eve

For some reason, beyond understanding, my turkey dinner has become legendary within my wife’s family which makes it a requisite when we return each year. Our condo has a very small oven so that adds to the challenge. At least this year we remembered how to turn the damned thing on, taking apart the bottom part and lighting the innards and then hastily replacing them before things get too hot. We were looking forward to the usual fireworks but this year’s edition was a little feeble. Being surrounded by these fine people more than made up for the lack of explosions. We had a veritable feast late in the evening, just prior to New Years.

Wife with her Mom and Siblings

Late Night Dinner

I was able to get the super streamer to tune into the Times Square countdown and a cork made a small dent in the living room ceiling. I tried calling both of my kids but neither answered. They know me and probably had their phones specifically on silent for that eventual late night call. As parents of very young children, sleep is important, but c’mon New Years!!! I luckily remembered to pack Alka Seltzer which made the initial morning beach workout of 2023 feasible although the waves seemed to take a particular pleasure in tormenting me a bit more.

Early 2023 Waiting for Fireworks on Balcony

1st Sunset of 2023

Bro in Law and Wife Left Yesterday

As promised/threatened what follows is my rundown of the best and worst movies I saw this year. I am an unashamed movie nut.  Each year I pontificate on the best and worst from only the movies I went to see. I’ve also included what I considered to be the worst movies of the year, because that’s almost more fun. You won’t find my movies on many critics top ten for the year because we go to the movies for different reasons. I go to be entertained not to judge. I’ve also chosen a quote from each of the top ten movies. As you can see I lean heavily towards action (and science fiction) but I think these films are a lot more mainstream than the out of touch film critics whose top tens are usually incomprehensible and barely entertaining. If nothing else the films below (except for the bottom two) were hugely enjoyable. Again this is only one man’s opinion and reflects only the movies I saw this year.

Best Movies

#1 - Bullet Train – biggest surprise of the year. I knew I was going to like it, but this film blew me away with so many clever gimmicks, twists, and turns. Loved all the unlovable characters and hilarious cameos. Brad Pitt in maybe his best and quirkiest role ever.

Ladybug: [referring to Lemon] Well, he seemed like a decent guy.

Kimura: He shot me.

Ladybug: Me too. Twice. Still, he had another side to him.

#2 - Avatar: The Way of Water – It’s an almost impossible task to follow up a once in a generation type movie with an adequate sequel but James Cameron did it, even though it took him the better part of a decade. The return to Pandora was a thrill ride where you quickly forget it’s all computer generated and no one is ever truly dead.

Quaritch: [to Neytiri] I owe you a death.

[Neytiri snarls at him]

Quaritch: You're not leaving are you, Jake? Knowin' I'm out there. Knowin' that I'll never stop. I'm coming for you. And when I do, I'll kill your whole family.

Jake Sully: Then let's get it done.

#3 - Top Gun Maverick – This movie led the pack for most of the year. It appropriately ages the original characters and brings incredibly realistic combat scenes. Tom Cruise proves that whatever else he might be, he remains a true movie star and he delivers.

Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky: The Navy needs Maverick. The kid needs Maverick. That's why I fought for you. That's why you're still here.

Maverick: Thank you, Ice, for everything.

Adm. Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky: One last thing, who's the better pilot, you or me?

Maverick: This is a nice moment, let's not ruin it.

#4 - The Banshees of Inisherin – The boys from Bruges (at least the actors), are back in a scarily funny drama about the price of friendship. Two friends on a 1920s Irish island compete to see who is the biggest idiot when one decides they will not be friends anymore. Colin Farrell shines as a completely hapless fool incapable of understanding just about anything.

Siobhan Súilleabháin: He won't be bothering you no more.

Colm Doherty: That's a shame. That's the most interesting he's ever been. I think I like him again now.

#5 - The Fabelmans – Spielberg’s ode to, well, himself but more so an exploration of a young man finding his voice. A poignant look at a dysfunctional family producing a genius but still, as always with Spielberg, staying focused on the meat of the characters.

John Ford: When the horizon is at the top, it's interesting. When it's on the bottom, it's interesting. When it's in the middle, it's boring as shit! Got it?

Sammy Fabelman: Yes, sir!

John Ford: Good luck to you. Now get the fuck out of my office!

#6 - Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent – A complete sendup of Nicholas Cage by . . .  Nicholas Cage. Impossibly funny as he makes fun of himself for the entire movie even going as far as to pick a fight with a younger version of himself. For all those of you who thinks he takes himself too seriously, fall down funny.

[upon being shown a crudely made statue of himself firing two guns]

Nick Cage: Is that supposed to be me? It's... grotesque.

[beat]

Nick Cage: I'll give you $20,000 for it.

#7 – Prey – The best predator movie ever featuring a young plains Native American girl against the big guy. Great attention to detail and non-stop tension with a bunch of dead Frenchmen.

Itsee: We have him.

Naru: No. He has us.

#8 - Jurassic World Dominion – Virtually every uneaten character that was ever in a Jurassic movie returns for this epic thrill ride of conclusion. A great pairing of the original film’s heroic couple with the latest version but the dinosaurs are still the stars.

Ian Malcolm: We're racing toward the extinction of our species. We not only lack dominion over nature, we're subordinate to it.

#9 - Thor Love & Thunder – It might try to poke a little too much fun at itself but Thor returns to form with a highly entertaining fight against the god killer. The return of Natalie Portman is a great move with their rekindled love story finally given a resolution. Although I did miss Loki.

Thor: Once we bring the children back, we shall feast!

[everyone cheers]

Thor: ...Not on them!

[everyone goes quiet]

Thor: We don't do that any more. That is a dark part of our history.

#10 - The Batman – I don’t know how they keep scoring by rehashing yet another Batman origin story but this works on so many levels. Robert Pattinson provides real depth to this version of a tortured Bruce Wayne. I think this movie surprised me the most this year.

Batman: Our scars can destroy us, even after the physical wounds have healed. But if we survive them, they can transform us. They can give us the power to endure, and the strength to fight.

 The Worst Movies of 2022

Don’t Worry Darling – I don’t know how you make a stinker with this quality of a cast but they managed to do it. Probably not the worst movie of the year but certainly the most disappointing.

Halloween Ends – Definitely the worst movie of the year. This felt like amateur hour in Haddonfield. Laurie Strode deserved so much better in her final filial showdown. Hated it.

2022 Superlatives:

Best Comedy:  Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Best Horror Movie:  Barbarian

Best Drama:  The Banshees of Inisherin

Best Romance:  Three Thousand Three Thousand Years of Longing

Best Action:  Top Gun Maverick

Best Special Effects:   Avatar: The Way of Water

Best Scene of the Year:  So many scenes on Bullet Train where Ladybug tries to counsel people trying to kill him qualify but it has to be the final scene in the movie when the ultimate diesel gets her comeuppance from a Lemon driven tangerine truck.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                     

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during him her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather - my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course