Tropical Valentine Bash

Wife and I Yesterday

Yesterday was a very long day which was a very good thing. My wife and her sisters conspired to execute a family reunion/Valentine’s Day party at the youngest sister’s house. My time this year in Panama is limited so this was a fabulous opportunity to see everybody that I might have missed if not for this party.

Pulled Out The Panoramic Feature on the Camera

Nearly seventy five people or there about eventually passed through my sister in law’s back yard as the party percolated from late afternoon until well after midnight. My wife and I showed up around 2pm and I was immediately put in charge of the grill for some unknown reason. I haven’t cooked with charcoal in years and the charcoal in Panama is completely different than what I was trained in early in life. In addition once the charcoal was lit I was expected to keep adding small logs of wood. I eventually figured everything out and had the grill ready when my wife unveiled her planned barbecue meat. I tried to be gentle when I explained that the ten pound hunk of meat would take the better part of twelve hours to cook – I don’t know what she was thinking.

My Personal Purgatory for the Early Part - These Steaks
Consist About 1/4 of the Two Huge Roasts

Wife Surrounded by High School Classmates

I ultimately received permission to cut the roast into a series of steaks which were well received and cooked in less than a turn of the sun. Cutting the steaks and then cooking them over a smoky grill where my talent for having the smoke follow me wherever I turned was not a good way to spend 95 degree heat. I honed this talent in the boy scouts where the wind always found a way to send the smoke in my direction no matter where I moved. I know there are no New Englanders feeling sorry for me with the 95 degree heat remark – yet another blizzard is blowing through the place as I write this. I can only imagine the snow drifts I’ll face Tuesday night.

A Full Complement of the Famous PanaGals

My Motehr in LAw and HEr Sisters

More PanaGals Including the Former Mrs. Cantankerous (center)
and My Beer Dinking PArtner (r)

Host of the Party - Standing

People filtered into the party all afternoon and into the night. A full complement of the fabulous PanaGals was assembled and waxed philosophical about their TJ Maxx depredations of the past few years. The elders took up a lively game of dominoes (a Panamanian obsession) that lasted until the party broke up. I got a chance to hang out with my favorite among my wife’s many cousins – my favorite Panamanian beer drinking buddy who’s blessed with the best (and loudest) laugh in the Western Hemisphere. She was up to the challenge again. My wife led the charge to the dance floor and resembled nothing more than an energizer bunny all night as she charged around insuring everybody was taken care of and enjoying the party. A group of her high school classmates showed up and provided that she hadn’t changed in that respect in the last forty years.

The Domino Game - My Father in Law (r)

Scoring SOme Food With my Wife's Twin Sister

A Valentine’s Day piñata was sacrificed to the celebration although it didn’t go down without a fight. At one point it was beaten into a pulp on the floor and still refused to give up its treasure. My sister in law finally delivered a coup de grace and the candy flowed.

The Twins With the Stubborn Pinata

The Very Active Dance Floor

The music blared all night long and none of the neighbors seem to mind. Its carnivale time in Panama and a certain amount of excess is called for. We had a late night conference with my wife’s nephew who’s also the architect for our hopefully future Panamanian house. Just before midnight I completely ran out of gas and spent some time contemplating the underside of my eyelids in a living room chair while the more stout partiers (Panamanians) continued to churn the celebration in the backyard. I’m more than confident we wrung an amazing amount of fun out of a long, but in reality, all too short a day.

All of My Mother in Law's Brothers and Sisters

The Energizer Bunny Late Last Night

Crisped and Loving It

My Wife On Top of Her Parent's House Harvesting Oranges

I am the holder of a little know title – the “Whitest Man in Panama”. This has obvious connotations when I take that lily white epidermis to a tropical beach and subject it to a couple days of sun and surf. I will now have to adjust my calling cards to “The Pinkest Man in Panama”.

My wife invested in a very expensive and supposedly foolproof sunblock rated to SPF 100 but it didn’t stand a chance against the combination of my gringo skin and the Las Lajas sun. My wife can get very directive and she has taken a storm trooper approach to my use of sun block after my skin cancer adventures of the past few years. I’ll probably be wearing a burka for the rest of this trip.

Great Way to Start the Day - Hammock Time!

The rapidly crisping skin did nothing to reduce the amount of fun we achieved during our second and regrettably last day at Las Lajas. I continued to torment my snow bound New England friends with photos and barbs about what life was like in tropical paradise. We spent the morning on the beach where the waves were perfect for body surfing, even for a rank amateur such as myself. After each bout of body surfing we’d use the beach shower and then jump into the hotel pool which was as close to secular rapture this heretofore frozen New Englander could hope for. My wife wandered out into the surf with her camera to snap a few pictures and you can see how great the surf was.

Whitest Man Setting Out to Body Surf

Our Hotel Seen from the Surf

After another idyllic lunch at the hotel open air restaurant we finally had to concede it was time to allow others to enjoy this idyllic location and hit the road back to my wife’s home town of David. It was during the trip back that the pink skin started to manifest which was closely followed by a stern spousal lecture on my failure to take adequate care of myself. I thinly pointed out that she had demanded to apply the sun block herself to my face that morning and that I’d had no problem the day before when I did the application. This was not a smart thing to say. Luckily the broiling heat and construction slowed traffic soon combined to induce siesta time in the passenger seat.

Post-Surfing Burka Time

Last Lunch in Las Lajas

We arrived home for some well-earned rest and a series of skin cream applications. My wife and her sisters are planning a family Valentine’s Day party today so they went into heavy preparation mode late in the afternoon. We scored some pizza enroute to my sister in law’s house up in the mountains where the party will take place. There was a very nice breeze blowing which made the only task I was trusted with – setting up a sun screening tarp - a bit of a challenge. The breeze turned out to be the least of my worries as I was halfway through the tarp when my vigilant wife noticed a swarm of disturbed bees circling behind my head. Since I’m extremely allergic to bee stings I was quickly ushered inside while my sister in law mounted a chemical attack. The bees were huge and I think a variation of the Africanized bees that were such a news story a couple decades ago. They had set up a nest in the light fixture on the back patio and were taking issue with my nocturnal activities in their vicinity. My sister in law proclaimed all clear and I got the tarp up but my wife was watching and told me to stop at one point because one of the bees had latched on to the back of my tee shirt – so that was fun. He died an ignominious death at the hands of my enraged wife. My sister in law may be trying to assassinate me because she then asked me to test a jury rigged lawn lighting system. I plugged it in only to be greeted by a fairly impressive cloud of sparks and smoke. I then abandoned my faux electrician role while casting an accusing eye at my sister in law who professed innocence in the matter. We returned home around midnight but the rest of today leading up to the party promises to be busy as my wife takes party organizing very, very seriously.

My Nocturnal Project - Bees Came from the Light Fixture

Las Lajas Escape

Wife and I In Las Lajas

My wife ingeniously planned a combined celebration for her birthday yesterday and our 33^rd wedding anniversary which will take place in early March while we’re still apart. She rented a room at the Las Lajas Beach Resort. Las Lajas is my favorite beach in the world with miles of almost deserted beaches, warm Pacific Ocean water, and monster waves for my fledgling body surfing efforts. Who was I to argue with her plan?

On the Road to Las LAjas

We first had to get there as Las Lajas lies sixty miles east along the Pacific coast from David. The drive was interesting for the changes I saw from just one year ago. The Inter-American Highway is the major thoroughfare through Panama but it has always been just a two lane road from David to Santiago, nearly half the length of the country. From Santiago to Panama City it transforms into a four lane super highway that rivals a U.S. interstate. The Panamanians are now extending the four lane version from Santiago to David and the amount of work done in just the last year is impressive. The road had been excavated for the entire sixty miles we drove with road beds already laid on most of it. All of the dozens of streams and rivers had bridges started and the work continued all along the route. The excavators didn’t wait for the electric company to move their telephone poles and just excavated around them which led to some precarious looking poles.

One of Those Stranded Electric Poles

We arrived in Las Lajas just ahead of the annual Carnivale which starts throughout Panama today. It’s almost as if the entire country is taking a deep breath before throwing themselves into serious partying mode. We saw numerous booths set up in the small towns we passed through as the burgeoning population of Panama City heads for what it called “the interior” for Mardi Gras like excesses ahead of Lent.

Our Hotel

View From Our Hotel Room

We pulled into the resort which is just down the road from the place we usually stay. While I love the old place it is entirely more rustic. There was a functioning bar, restaurant, pool, and air conditioning here. It’s a lot more expensive as well but for just the two of us it was perfect. I immediately started texting pictures to my snow bound New England friends – wanting to show them there are some places on earth free of the freeze (and I wanted to rub it in a little).

After the pool and body surfing (where I missed WingMan and daughter partners of last year) my wife and I took a couple mile walk down the beach. Even after that walk we didn’t come close to finding the end of the beach. My wife decided she wanted to collect pink colored shells for some sort of arts and crafts project so the walk back took a lot longer.

Pool Time

Lunch

Our Towels Which My Wife Refused to Let Me Use Because They Were So "Cute"

The Beach Walk

Surrendering

We were back in the open air hotel bar/restaurant for dinner where my wife quickly made friends with the manager of the entire resort. They had some sort of computer problem and their music was wiped out so the place was very quiet, especially for a Panamanian restaurant where music is always present. My wife quickly adjourned to our hotel room and returned with her I-Pad accompanied by boom speaker and balance was returned to the universe.

Hammock Time

Some Look Better Doing It

Dinner was a lot of fun as we finally had a chance to catch up on everything as well as discuss our future plans for Panama and life in general. There’s something almost hypnotic sitting for long periods of time with the background noise of the surf breaking in the near distance. We walked out to the edge of the beach and looked up to the heavens where the stars seemed almost close enough to touch. There’s so much ambient light in modern society that these night sky views are becoming too rare. My wife cranked up the music again and we danced for a while under the stars at the edge of the beach. A great way to end what had been a near perfect day.

Wife at Dinner With Her Music System

View From Our Beach-side Dancing Spot

We were walking back to our room in the semi-lighted walkway when I stopped my wife abruptly. There was a snake sitting (or whatever you call what a snake does) in the middle of the walkway. If this had been the U.S. I would have boldly walked up and shooed the snake away, but Panama is entirely different. They have some of the most dangerous snakes in the world. My wife went into her normal panic mode whenever she sees a snake and wanted to leave the hotel immediately. The snake eventually begrudgingly went on his way while I escorted a shaken wife back to room for snake intrusion prevention measures in the room.

I couldn’t find the keys to our car becoming more and more frustrated. There was definitely a serious flashback to my passport adventures of last week. I was tearing the room apart trying to find the keys while my wife took a more measured approach. She was searching my computer bag and just before I found the keys (hidden in a sunscreen box) she found something else – MY MISSING PASSPORT! It had been in my computer bag all along despite my searching the damned thing at least six times. She discovered a hidden compartment which I had cleverly placed the missing passport in after last using it in January 2014. I immediately threw it against the wall.

Snake Leaving, Head was By Top of Tile Square

My Brown Eyed Girl

I often listen to a radio station that plays hits from the 1960’s and invariably the song “Brown Eyed Girl” shows up to remind me how lucky I’ve been to be married to my brown eyed girl for the last thirty-three years. Today’s her birthday and we’re going to celebrate by sneaking away from steamy David and spend a couple days at our favorite beach – Las Lajas. In prior years this was always a family gathering type of excursion but this time it will be just the two of us. I guess you could describe me as more than a little – PSYCHED!!!!

My Courageous Brown Eyed Girl

I’ve written before about the courage of this lady who left family and friends to follow me about the world during my military career. She didn’t speak English at first but her boundless ability to make friends and make the person she is trying to speak to feel important is why so many people cherish being around her. I don’t think I could have been as brave as she was setting out on what became our life together. She’s always thinking of others, invariably kind but would take on a pissed off velociraptor if anyone ever mistreated one of her kids. I love her.

Yesterday was spent hanging around my wife’s hometown of David and luxuriating in the heat and humidity. That was mostly me since everyone else was complaining about hot it was. I kept sneaking looks on the computer back at the weather in Worcester which showed snow showers and temps in the teens. Cue the happy feet dance!

Family Dinner At Gallardo's

We ventured out to secure our rental car for the week and that was the usual adventure since I had selected the wrong week when I made the reservations. The Budget Rental Car people were awesome though and we secured an even better deal. We then descended into the Panamanian governmental bureaucracy where we had to cross some “T’s” and dot some of those pesky “I’s”. As usual there was a long wait followed by a flurry of stamps and official seals and we escaped with our sanity mostly intact.

Seen from the Other End - Birthday Girls Closest To You

The family gathered last night to celebrate today’s birthdays of my wife and her twin sister. I took everyone out to dinner to Gallardo’s, which serves some amazing steaks and lethal Pina Coladas. My wife’s elderly parents also joined us which made the night special for everyone. They recounted the day the twins arrived, my wife first and feisty from the get go. There was apparently a significant amount of alcohol involved as well.

One of the Food Plates

The food was great but the company even that much better as the night succumbed to the celebration. We reluctantly adjourned to her parents’ home where my brother in law’s wife produced a cake like device. It looked like a cross between a flan and a cheesecake so I meticulously avoided it. Everyone else pronounced the birthday cake as delicious. It was created by the lady’s daughter who is studying to be a chef. If reactions last night are any indication her studies are going well.

The Cake Like Device

Well, I’ll leave you now as I get ready for the beach. Weather in Worcester right now – 16 degrees and snowing (yes!).

Because M Sister in Law is Kind of a Goof

Tropical Salvation

I will admit I was nervous yesterday in the very early morning, frigid drive to Boston. The Mass Pike was a frozen mess and as I got closer and closer to Boston the impact of Monday’s storm became increasingly evident. I pulled into the airport parking garage and dragged my suitcases through a couple snow drifts to the shuttle bus with fingers firmly crossed that my tropical airline would still accomplish the planned flight. It’s always a tradeoff on what to wear for a trip like this because the cold weather gear is only needed until the door of the terminal. I was very glad the bus showed up within a couple minutes saving me from regretting the choice of lighter gear.

The best sight in a long time was the very active ticket counter and the boarding pass which was subsequently in my possession. We had to wait nearly an hour on the plane while it was de-iced but we were soon in the air. It felt a lot like the time I left East Berlin after a Cold War visit when we climbed out of the swirling snow, knowing I was leaving the wintery prison for at least seven days.

Wife and I Together Again

I had a direct flight to Panama City and as soon as I left the baggage claim area there was the sight I was really waiting to see. My wife flew down from her hometown of David to welcome me to Panama. We spent a couple hours at the airport waiting for our return flight to David and met with our lawyer while there – my wife’s nephew. He updated us on a couple more legal hoops we had to leap through on the land acquisition.

My Wife and Her Lawyer Nephew

This was the first time I used the newly instituted domestic flight from Panama City to David and it is SOOOOOOOO much better than the customary 6-7 hour bus ride. We were in David 45 minutes after taking off. My brother in law and his wife were waiting for us and we were soon wending our way through the side streets of David to link up with her sisters at her parents’ house while I reveled in the hot weather. 

My Brother in Law Snapped My Wife and I Waiting for Luggage in David

A short walk to the neighborhood bodega acquired a suitable supply of Atlas beer which was used to celebrate my escape from northern climes. I showed them some pictures of our recent adventures with wintery weather and they could not fathom how people survive in such conditions. As is sit here writing this under my father in law’s orange tree – I’m wondering that myself. I may never leave.  Just kidding, kind of.

With my Father in Law and Brother in Law Enjoying the First Atlas of the Trip

Finger Crossing Time

I’m posting this just before I head out to the airport this morning for my delayed trip south to much warmer climes. The snow levels have reached historic levels and I’m more than ready to sit poolside and take a break from moving the damned stuff out of my driveway. If I post early tomorrow it will be apoplectic with disappointment but I honestly believe I’m getting out this morning.

Back Deck Drift About Half-Way Through Yesterday's Storm
The Drift has now Reached the Top of the Door

I say historic because the weathermen (spent a lot of time listening to them today) say that we’ve already set a record for the amount of snow to fall in a February – and we’re only 9 days into the month! Seven feet of snow is a little too much even for those who love the pristine beauty it can bestow upon a landscape. I used to be one of those, pre-February.

Side Door - Never Seen it This Deep

I was a little smarter yesterday as I didn’t wait for the snow to finish falling. I was out there four separate times and each time it was fairly easy to move the snow out of the way. I also scored huge points with my neighbor by keeping his lot cleared. He even came up the driveway to thank me in person – a true first for the reclusive guy.

Back Door Drift From Inside - Reaching the Top Pane of Glass

We’ve lived here for nearly ten years now and have experienced some truly cruel winters – snow wise. Nothing, however, compares to this year for sheer volume of snow. The door out to the back deck now has a snow drift nearly seven feet high and a couple of the first floor windows have snow drifts up to the middle. I’m more than ready for a tropical sojourn. If the plane doesn’t take off this morning – I may just turn right and start driving south.

Halfway Up a First Floor Window

If I don’t blog tomorrow that may be good news (on a number of levels most of you are probably thinking) because that means I am probably too busy enjoying the warmth of a nearby wife and the tropics.

Tropic Denial

This is not the look I was going for today as I should be wending my way south to enjoy an eight day tropical sojourn with my favorite Panamanian. For the third Monday in a row we’re getting hit by a major snow storm. The photo above is what I looked like after the morning clearing of the driveway, a scene to be repeated when the storm moves out tonight. At the same time I was blowing the snow I couldn’t help but think I should be comfortably in seat 10D anticipating having to deal with some welcome tropical heat as well as some warmer weather.

I was talking with my wife yesterday when I checked the flight status and learned my Monday morning flight had been canceled. We hung up and I started a journey through the Copa Airlines customer service lines. I spent no less than 45 minutes listening to recorded messages while “the customer service representative is currently serving another customer”. The first real person I spoke with said the earliest they could get me out of Boston was next Sunday. I told her I needed more than a two day Panamanian vacation. Their next offer was Thursday.

I told them this was also unacceptable since it was the date of my wife’s birthday and one of the big reasons I was travelling to Panama but that I would take it if it was the best they could do. After the birthday comment she asked me to wait some more and ten minutes later she said her boss had approved me for the Tuesday flight. I thanked her profusely and told her she probably saved my marriage.

Roof Operations

Since I now had a day I hadn’t anticipated I prepared the house for the incoming storm. I got up on the porch roof and shoveled the four foot drift that built up over the past couple of weeks. I then unleashed the snow blower to cut a path to the oil ports. With this newest storm there was no way the oil guy would be able to reach it and so much easier to use a machine to cut through most of it.

The New Path

A Buddy-less home is decidedly less entertaining. I found myself looking around for him all day and I missed having the black furry head constantly within patting range. It always amazes me how much companionship a dog provides simply by being a dog. I really missed him yesterday and he would love today’s storm.

Over the weekend I went to see Seventh Son which reunited the Great Lebowski with his lady love from that iconic movie. Here he plays an aged but still dangerous medieval  witch hunter and Ms. Moore a witch queen he has sworn to kill. Lebowski burns through apprentices, including Jon Snow, before he finds a seventh son of a seventh son who’s supposed to have special powers to fight witches.

Moore seemed to understand how silly the story was and camped up her part while Bridges was incomprehensible for long periods of time. It was almost like he had marbles in his mouth for appropriate gravitas. There’s a parade of bad guys and gals who gather for the final confrontation which wasn’t as climatic as it could have been. The seventh son himself seemed like a surfer dude who wandered into medieval times. He had a hard time with the believability scale. This movie aimed high but missed badly.