Crisped and Loving It

My Wife On Top of Her Parent's House Harvesting Oranges

I am the holder of a little know title – the “Whitest Man in Panama”. This has obvious connotations when I take that lily white epidermis to a tropical beach and subject it to a couple days of sun and surf. I will now have to adjust my calling cards to “The Pinkest Man in Panama”.

My wife invested in a very expensive and supposedly foolproof sunblock rated to SPF 100 but it didn’t stand a chance against the combination of my gringo skin and the Las Lajas sun. My wife can get very directive and she has taken a storm trooper approach to my use of sun block after my skin cancer adventures of the past few years. I’ll probably be wearing a burka for the rest of this trip.

Great Way to Start the Day - Hammock Time!

The rapidly crisping skin did nothing to reduce the amount of fun we achieved during our second and regrettably last day at Las Lajas. I continued to torment my snow bound New England friends with photos and barbs about what life was like in tropical paradise. We spent the morning on the beach where the waves were perfect for body surfing, even for a rank amateur such as myself. After each bout of body surfing we’d use the beach shower and then jump into the hotel pool which was as close to secular rapture this heretofore frozen New Englander could hope for. My wife wandered out into the surf with her camera to snap a few pictures and you can see how great the surf was.

Whitest Man Setting Out to Body Surf

Our Hotel Seen from the Surf

After another idyllic lunch at the hotel open air restaurant we finally had to concede it was time to allow others to enjoy this idyllic location and hit the road back to my wife’s home town of David. It was during the trip back that the pink skin started to manifest which was closely followed by a stern spousal lecture on my failure to take adequate care of myself. I thinly pointed out that she had demanded to apply the sun block herself to my face that morning and that I’d had no problem the day before when I did the application. This was not a smart thing to say. Luckily the broiling heat and construction slowed traffic soon combined to induce siesta time in the passenger seat.

Post-Surfing Burka Time

Last Lunch in Las Lajas

We arrived home for some well-earned rest and a series of skin cream applications. My wife and her sisters are planning a family Valentine’s Day party today so they went into heavy preparation mode late in the afternoon. We scored some pizza enroute to my sister in law’s house up in the mountains where the party will take place. There was a very nice breeze blowing which made the only task I was trusted with – setting up a sun screening tarp - a bit of a challenge. The breeze turned out to be the least of my worries as I was halfway through the tarp when my vigilant wife noticed a swarm of disturbed bees circling behind my head. Since I’m extremely allergic to bee stings I was quickly ushered inside while my sister in law mounted a chemical attack. The bees were huge and I think a variation of the Africanized bees that were such a news story a couple decades ago. They had set up a nest in the light fixture on the back patio and were taking issue with my nocturnal activities in their vicinity. My sister in law proclaimed all clear and I got the tarp up but my wife was watching and told me to stop at one point because one of the bees had latched on to the back of my tee shirt – so that was fun. He died an ignominious death at the hands of my enraged wife. My sister in law may be trying to assassinate me because she then asked me to test a jury rigged lawn lighting system. I plugged it in only to be greeted by a fairly impressive cloud of sparks and smoke. I then abandoned my faux electrician role while casting an accusing eye at my sister in law who professed innocence in the matter. We returned home around midnight but the rest of today leading up to the party promises to be busy as my wife takes party organizing very, very seriously.

My Nocturnal Project - Bees Came from the Light Fixture