Crawled and then Some

For the better part of the years of our marriage my Favorite Panamanian has tried, spectacularly unsuccessfully, to have a surprise birthday party for me. That failure was due to her compete lack of subterfuge which I’m guessing is a good thing. She overcame that shortcoming this past Friday. We returned from First Friday and I was instructed to stay in my work clothes instead of my usual slovenly Man Cave uniform of sweat pants and tee shirt.  I was told we were going to receive a visit from a former neighbor who was in the area and she didn’t want to shock their sensibilities with my casual attire. I was then sent to the Man Cave without the usual caustic wifely observations. Thinking back on that now I should have realized something was going on as my escape to the Man Cave is usually met with comment if not outright condemnation. I was safely down there for a couple hours when I had to come upstairs to answer the call of nature. Since I thought it was only my wife and I in the house I initially didn’t bother to close the bathroom door but for some unknown reason changed my mind.

Culminating Group of Excellence at Pour House

That turned out to be a good thing because the majority of the Panamanian Mafia was hidden on the front stair case. I emerged from the bathroom and noticed the front door was standing open and asked my wife if we were heating the outdoors now (Mom flashback). She told me to close it and while I was enroute everyone jumped out. There followed a very fun gathering of friends helping me celebrate the birthday. There was dancing (Panamanians don’tcha know) and Bonecrusher was deployed to appropriately sever the birthday cake. We were still going strong around 1030pm when my daughter and the FBR arrived from New Jersey.

Mafia on the Stairs

Surprise Party

Requisite Dancing

Bonecrusher Deployed

And Was up to the Task

They were joining us for the birthday weekend and the hometown pub crawl. I put on my cat herding hat Saturday morning to get three ladies with differing percentages of Latina blood into the car in time to make the drive up to Keene for the pub crawl. My daughter helpfully reminded me of my age by putting a certain Beatles song on the radio, something about when I’m 64. We extracted Keene Friend from his abode and made our way to 5 Guys for the traditional pre-crawl lunch. We found the Cantankerous Friend wandering the streets of Keene on our way and abducted him. The FBR fell asleep shortly before arriving in Keene and her mother was reticent to awaken her ahead of time. This was a good call because when she did wake up she was in a foul mood, reminiscent of her mother’s M.O. back in the day.

Getting Started at Penuche's

2d Stop Cobblestone

My Favorite Panamanian had volunteered to squire the FBR around various Keene shopping establishments while the rest of us crawled. We arrived at the first stop, Penuche’s, to find the high school classmates already gathering. We were joined shortly thereafter by my son who made the trek over from the East Coast. It was more than cool that both of kids made the effort to be with me and didn’t mind hanging out with a bunch of grey haired peers of their dad. This was the sixth year in a row that I’ve made a birthday pub crawl and it has evolved over the years into a mini-high school class reunion. This speaks volumes about the quality of the people that I graduated high school with.

Lab 'n Lager

Kilkenny's

The crowd grew throughout the afternoon as we made our way from bar to bar. The next stop was Cobblestone Ale House. I schedule this thing for the early afternoon figuring the college kids in town are just waking up and we’ll have the lower Main Street bars to ourselves. This latest class of Keene State College may be trouble though because there was a half-bar full of them at Cobblestone. I think they thought we were a quaint bunch to be conducting a crawl at our advanced age. I know, even in our dotage, we appreciated the accumulated yoga pants present.

Leaving Margarita's

Next it was across the street to the Lab ‘N Lager where even more people joined us including Great Aunt and Soxfather. We were able to occupy our usual front window bench seats and welcomed the late arrivals with the usual counseling on lateness, fortified by two bars worth of crawl. We continued up Main Street to dodge into the back lot for the Kilkenny Pub which is one of my true favorites for the crawl because it’s a real bar and doesn’t apologize for it. We missed it last year because it was overcrowded but it was perfect on Saturday. Even more classmates wandered in and the crawl was truly gathering steam.

We regretfully parted ways with Kilkenny to wander back across Main Street to Margarita’s. We (I) took a brief moment to commemorate the demise of Scores, the scene of so many crawl memories from prior years, when we walked past Railroad Square. A prescient classmate had arranged reserved tables for us in Margarita’s but it took the wait staff a long while to decide to serve us. It seems their five minute break was more important to them than a bigger tip.

FBR Atop this Fabulous Gathering

These Two - Best Birthday Present 

The sun had set by the time we emerged from Margarita’s for the stroll up to Central Square and our final destination – the Pour House. We actually reached our largest number of people at our final destination which was unusual but wholly welcome – especially by the very hospitable Pour House staff. My classmates had kidded me all day about my wife’s shopping expedition and repeatedly asked me if she knew that Keene had a newly opened Home Goods store. I swore them to silence but I took a call shortly after that from my wife reporting that she had located the new store and asked me why I hadn’t informed her of same. That brought a huge laugh from the assembled crowd.

FBR Out with Abuela During the Crawl

We had a fantastic time at Pour House and my wife eventually tore herself away from the new store and joined us there with the FBR. The FBR made a bee line for Soxfather upon arrival as he continued his role as a pied piper for toddler aged children. He hates to dance but the FBR had him executing disco steps in the back of Pour House before the evening was over. The coolest thing about the crawl is the time spent with all the different groups of friends and the conversations range from pole to pole. Each year I’m reminded about the special people I was lucky enough to go through high school with. I haven’t heard of another group approaching senior citizenship who still endeavors to hold the line against age so energetically. I love them.

Shopping

I was reminded we had a toddler with us and reluctantly left the group to wander back down Main Street with the family for dinner back at Margarita’s. I’m sure the rest of the gang kept up the celebrating at Pour House long into the evening. We ended up back at Keene Friend’s house where the group surprised me with a combination birthday/retirement gift (originally planned on retiring around this time). I am now the proud owner of a huge, super smart television to set up in the Man Cave. I was speechless, which after a pub crawl, is definitely not normal. My family, what can I say, they’re beyond any measure of excellence I could use to describe them.

Post Crawl Dinner

Morning After with Soxfather and Great Aunt

We set up my daughter and the FBR in a downtown hotel while the Rhode Island bunch was in another nearby. Breakfast came remarkably early considering the paces the crawlers had been through but we rallied and were joined by the daughter and FBR who walked across form their hotel. Before departing Keene we reunited with Soxfather and Great Aunt in the hotel so the FBR could once again demand every instant of Soxfather’s attention. I’m just now coming to grips with the bone deep level of appreciation I have for all my family and friends as who made this year’s crawl what I hope it is each year. I’m already gearing up for next year’s crawl where I can claim to be a bona fide senior citizen.

BRS Enjoying her New FBR Certified Kitchen

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RECURRING CHARACTERS                                           

BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd musquetera (musketeer); Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting arrival of the BRS; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Deckzilla Dude – senior citizen carpenter/contractor; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues