Undermined

Regular readers will understand what I’m talking about when I refer to the driveway from hell. Another bold chapter was written in the heinous history of that pathway to perdition yesterday. I came home to find the day’s snow melt and rain had undercut the driveway and there was a gaping sinkhole seven feet deep in the entrance undermining the entire bottom of the driveway as well as compromising the street. The town DPW was on the scene and said they could only repair as far as the edge of my property and the rest of it was my responsibility.

All this has to occur just before the house is scheduled to go back on the market, of course. The haunted corridor probably took exception to the continual berating it took over the past winter as I labored to keep it clear of snow and ice. I must have seriously damaged its idea of self-worth influencing it to commit this form of ritual suicide. I can only hope the repair bill doesn’t bankrupt me. Of course it is the first of April and I could be making the whole thing up.

In the real world I remembered the cold medicine yesterday which made all the difference in the world at work. Late in the day the windshield repair guy showed up to replace the cracked window in my wife’s car. Since the day was pretty much over I stayed to watch him. I’ve always like to watch this type thing hoping to acquire some education to augment my vestigial handyman capacities.

Old Windshield Out

The whole process was fairly impressive as one guy accomplished the entire repair in less than an hour. He used a wire attached to a series of pulleys to cut the old windshield out. He then positioned a contraption involving syphon cups on the side window and a weird series of pipes that allowed him to maneuver the new windshield into place. It’s always worthwhile to watch something being done professionally well and I actually enjoyed my time in the garage.

Maneuvering the New One In

My wife snuck away with my car to link up with a member of the Worcester Chapter of the Panamanian Mafia to reacquaint herself with their favorite Italian hairdresser and then descend on the local TJ Maxx. She had a few gift cards left over from her birthday that were burning a serious hole in her pocket book, demanding to be utilized. That was her story at least when she explained why I was alone for dinner and subsequent movie date.

Her absence did allow me to see a movie I would have had to physically restrain her to watch – Get Hard. Will Farrell is probably her least favorite actor while I kind of like the big lug. His comedy apparently doesn’t’ translate well into Spanish.  This was not one of his Farrell’s finer efforts although both he and co-star Kevin Hart tried mightily to lift the script above it's obvious limitations. Farrell plays an unjustly convicted financier preparing to go to prison while Hart plays his car washer trying to get him ready for the experience.

The movie could have been a funny send up of race relations but plays it too safe and goes for cheap laughs, mostly about gay lifestyle. Both Hart and Farrell were good although repeated viewing of Farrell’s back side did not do a lot for digestion aspirations. The funniest bits involved Hart and his family. Don’t spend money on this to see in the theater, wait for cable, I should have.

Front Yard This Morning

Back Yard and the First Break in the Snow Pack - But Its April for God's Sake