Clutches Escape to Spousal Stun Event

Yesterday was my last day in the land which suffered so much during the War of Northern Aggression (time to get north of the Mason-Dixon Line – I’m being corrupted!)  It was good to leave the factory behind, some really nice people but a totally broke manufacturing process they’ll have to address if they hope to take their new business to the next level.

I was also experienced some mild food poisoning effects that I believe came from Twin Peaks burgers.  It was my choice for lunch and since we seemed to have run out of mammary influenced burger joints I opted to return to the sun center of burgerdom – Fudruckers.  .  Now here’s a place that knows what to do with a hamburger.  The toughest part of the entire trip (even US Airlines)  was having to forgo the freshly baked burger roll.  The 2/3 pound patty more than made up for that sacrifice to the keto diet. 

Nirvana!

After lunch we made our way back to the airport with the trepidation that comes with knowing you are about to willingly enter the clutches of evil incompetence known as US Airways.  The Greenville-Spartanburg Airport is brand new and set up incredibly well.  We walked up to security where (be still my heart) there as no line to contend with.  That is the first time that has ever happened.

Pristine Greenville Airport

We were taking a propeller driven plane from Greenville to Charlotte, North Carolina.  In typical US Airways defiance of logic they were showing the plane on time even though they hadn’t boarded anybody ten minutes after the flight was scheduled to leave. 

We did make it to Charlotte but as we walked across the tarmac to the terminal from where the plane dropped us off there was an ominously dark line of thunderstorms bearing down on the airport.  Fear entered my heart when I realized even a competent airlines can be threatened by severe thunderstorms and I was on the opposite side of that spectrum. 

Looking Back at the Plane We came in on and The Ominous Clouds

We had to traverse the entire county since the terminals in Charlotte seemed to have been strategically placed in separate zip codes.  As we made our trek (thank God for moving walkways) through the huge airport all the other terminals seemed to be operating efficiently despite the impending weather.  Then we entered the maelstrom of the US Airways Terminal and found – (predictably) chaos. 

It was like entering a very pissed off and unruly sports event as masses of people were wandering back and forth trying to get straight answers out of US Airways reps.  Our flight showed as being on time even though the 2pm flight to Boston showed on the status board as leaving at 5:59pm, one minute before the 3pm Boston flight.  Our 6:15 flight was scheduled out of the same gate as a LaGuardia bound flight so there as an interesting mix of Red Sox and Yankee fans co-mingled and venting their mutual disdain on their chosen airline. 

Chaos Reigning in US Airways Terminal

The storm passed through quickly (less than twenty minute delay for other airlines) but US Airlines remained flummoxed on what to do.  While other airlines resumed service the crew from the LaGuardia bound plane sauntered through the crowd in fairly arrogant fashion.  Shortly thereafter an announcement was made that the crew had “run out of time” and US Airways Operations was considering their options.  Ten minutes later the predictable option (US Airways signature move) was announced – the flight was canceled.  There were some severely pissed off New Yorkers and some concerned New Englanders as we awaited our fate.

We were told repeatedly that there would be a short delay as we waited for our plane to arrive from ….LaGuardia!  We were informed the plane had landed and was looking for a gate to park at since the scheduled one was now blocked with a crewless plane.  Eventually we got the new gate and the mass of New Englanders headed there.  It was a smaller gate and the crowd effectively shut down the movement of people through the terminal which added to the confusion and “atmosphere”. 

A plane did eventually show up (2 hours later) and we boarded although the US Airways gate crew didn’t know how or just neglected to change the gate sign so half the people in the line thought the plane was going to ….LaGuardia (since that was what the sign said).  Once they separated the New Yorkers out (actually felt sorry for them – a new experience) we finally took off; only 3 hours and 15 minutes later than scheduled.  The pilot, one of those in love with the microphone, then happily informed us that we had a great plane since he had just moved it to the gate from the maintenance facility – putting a lie to what the US Airways announcements had said for the past three hours. 

We arrived in Boston shortly before midnight, amazed that US Airways had overcome their aversion to flying into an airport where their plane might get wet.  As I pulled my baggage off the belt I felt a real sense of escape as I moved beyond the iniquitous clutches of US Airways ability to screw up my life; at least I wasn’t trying to get to LaGuardia.

Never Again - Willingly

The limo company actually waited for our late flight so I decompressed on the long ride home through the rain anticipating an empty house and unwanted solitude since the wife was still up in Maine.  We pulled into the driveway and I was a little pissed because there were lights on in the house and I thought she had left them on all week.  I was stunned and incredibly grateful when she herself came prancing down the stairs when I opened the door.  She took a page out of my son in law’s book by coming home early to surprise me. It was such a welcome and needed hug.  We settled down into the kitchen as the hour approached 1am and I finally had supper (the restaurants at the terminal were stacked up with vast amounts of US Airways captives).  I listened as my wife breathlessly recounted her Maine adventures and got me up to speed on life in general.  So good to be home, all we were missing was Buddy the Wonder Pooch.

The Very Welcome Home