Mohs Than Enough

Mickey Mouse Awaiting His Medicinal Pizza

Yesterday was about as much fun as I expected.  The good news was that despite my feelings of foreboding the doctors and nurse corps at UMASS Hanehman Campus were extraordinary.  Apparently I set the record for the number of times they had to go back in yesterday but by the end of the day I was cancer free and breathing, so, win!

I woke up, yesterday morning to an ice covered landscape.  The ice we encountered last night had continued throughout the early morning hours.  Our driveway was completely coated as were our birch trees in the back yard.  I spied the morning paper at the base of the driveway but I had to circumnavigate the front yard and approach the driveway from the salted roadway.  I then used a garden rake to reach the newspaper, all the time hoping my neighbors weren’t looking out their window.

The rest of the morning went exactly the same way.  I puttered around the house and tried to knock out projects as if I wouldn’t be able to later.  I even tried to super glue the destroyed plant stand from Saturday’s adventures.  Time just seemed to crawl by; Buddy and I went out to rescue the beleaguered birch trees, shaking the ice off the bowing limbs.  Luckily some of the ice went right down the collar of my shirt which Buddy found immensely amusing.

We left the house around noon time and miraculously the ice had melted on most of the driveway.  I was completely impressed when we were whisked right into the operating room upon arrival.  They were prepared to operate on the neck but knew nothing about the ear site.  They did not accept the hand written (more scribbled) note from the ear dude.  The doctor actually got on the phone and tracked the other guy down and approved the ear site surgery as well; as I said above, extraordinary.

The procedure I was undergoing is called Mohs Surgery.  It involves cutting into the site where the cancer was detected and then testing the edges of the removed tissue.  If more cancer cells are detected on the edge, they cut out some more and test the edges of that tissue.  They keep repeating this until the edges are cancer free.

The process was interesting but due to the sites involved I couldn’t see a damned thing.  Of more interest to me personally was the lack of feeling.  I am now a huge fan of a chemical called lidocaine.  Throughout the whole process I did not feel a single thing although as the holes became bigger I was starting to get concerned.  After each cutting session they would employ a machine to burn the edges of the wound to cauterize it.  I know they reached this point every time by the smell of my own burning flesh; much cooler than it sounds.

After each session my wife was allowed back into the room while we waited for the testing on the latest sample.  She was great all day.  She even found a big magazine to hide the novel she was reading, Fifty Shades of Gray.  She took a picture after each session which you can see below.  Unfortunately she was the person the nurse issued the discharge instructions to so I’ll be on a pretty short leash for the rest of the week.

By the time the nurse came in to relay the news that each site was cancer free we had been through three cuttings for each site.  They had to do a pair of skin grafts for the ear which the doctor said they basically had to skin.  They salvaged that skin from the neck site which took twelve stitches inside and eleven on the outside.  It’s going to be a really cool scar.  I’m taking suggestions as to the fable I make up on its acquisition.  The nurse said we had the record for the day and the rest of the place was deserted as we headed out of the hospital.  The most heartwarming thing about the entire day was that we immediately starting receiving calls from family and friends who were anxious to find out how things went.  I guess I have some people out there who care about me – best medicine possible.

My wife had a great deal of fun with the huge pressure bandage they put on the neck and ear.  She took to calling me “Mickey Mouse” – the bedside manner had disappeared.  She did take me to Zorbas for a dose of medicinal pizza which really hit the spot after a long day with my head turned to the right for long periods of time.  We got home just as the lidocaine started to wear off.  I found out last night that sleeping the whole night only on one side with a hyper-vigilant Panamanian enforcing the rules is not as much fun as it sounds.  It was a fun night but I feel freed of a weight I almost was afraid to acknowledge, although I do have this fun pressure bandage to wear for the next two days.

Skating Rink of a Driveway This Morning

Pre-Rescue Birch Trees

Pre-Op Awaiting First Cut

Following First Cut

After Second Cut

My Attendant Trying to Hide Her Book

After the Third Cut

Cancer Free - Just Prior to Pressure Bandages