Keeps Playing With Me

Pass

Last night was date night and I had to employ some strategic movie selection tactics.  Next week there is no way, proud geek that I am, I will miss seeing The Hobbit.  In order to “grease the skids” for that date night I had to take one for the team last night and agree to see a sappy romantic comedy my wife was hot to see – Playing for Keeps.

It was just about as painful as I imagined and I have a very good imagination.  There is an old saying about something being a mile wide and an inch deep.  That is an apt description of this brainless offering. 

First, the mile wide part – a totally amazing cast that strives mightily to lift the plot above the mundane. Gerard Butler is in his swept back hair, lovable buffoon mode aimed squarely at the ladies.  If my wife’s reaction was any indication he was spot on.  Butler is so good at action roles that I hate to see him waste his efforts with this type of idiocy but, again, given my wife’s reaction as an indication of his female demographic, I’m sure this won’t be the last.  Dennis Quaid reprises his go to role lately of an aging husband to a trophy wife.  He’s too likable an actor to be convincing.

The female cast included three of the most beautiful actresses working today, Jessica Biel, Uma Thurman, and Catherine Zeta-Jones.  Biel was surprisingly the best actor in the movie and the only one that seemed to take it seriously.  Thurman and Jones were almost unrecognizable, either due to makeup or some subtle but serious plastic surgery.  They were charged with almost meaningless roles as horny housewives in pursuit of soccer coach Butler.  I was surprised that actresses of such caliber would descend to this (I’m guessing compromising pictures exist somewhere).

Now for the inch deep part – this movie has no heart.  For a romantic comedy to work it has to have heart.  Butler is a sympathetic character as a washed out soccer superstar trying to reconnect with his family but the situation is just so contrived.  His romantic rival who lives with Biel (Butler’s ex-wife) is almost invisible.  The story was so predictable that I was calling out scenes to my wife before they happened.  For some reason she was surprised and entertained by this.  It turned out to be the only enjoyable part of the movie for me (well that and Uma in her underwear).

Middle Earth, here I come.