Frail Deeds Dancing

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Impalement Operations

I’m going to nickname the new master bathroom “Vlad” after impaling myself there last night. Surprising no one, my Favorite Panamanian went a little overboard outfitting the new bathroom and that included a three armed towel rack with the sole redeeming quality being constructed of polished brass. Once the bathroom construction was complete the only place it could be located was near the window and the toilet.

Eye This Morning

Nature called in the wee hours of the morning, as it is wont to do for individuals blessed with as many years as I’ve accumulated. I stumbled into the bathroom and walked directly onto the tallest of the three arms. It is amazing how fast you wake up when you insert a rod into your eye socket (must have been the polished brass). I very briefly considered ripping it from the wall but we have the final inspection today so I contented myself with some extremely colorful language that may have slightly singed the surrounding walls.

Vlad

I woke up this morning to a bit of a shiner and realized I should count myself lucky that the eye is intact. Fortunately I was not moving at emergency speed when I walked onto the rod. I’m telling everyone at work today when asked that I have to honor the first rule of Fight Club (but that they should see the other guy). Still no photos of my granddaughters as my children seem to be freezing me out in that department. The FBR is winging back to her birthplace as I write this to hang out for a few days with her first ever friends back in L.A. The BRS was in a better mood last night as I was able to coax a couple of Viking grunts out of her.

Latest Puzzle Completed

After finishing the latest jigsaw puzzle I made my weekly trek to the movie theater for dateless date night. I saw Captive State which could have been so much better. It’s one of those movies you sense is on the verge of something very special but just doesn’t deliver. Aliens have taken over the world and rule humanity through an oppressive government based on a steady stream of misinformation (sound familiar?). The actors are all very good but the plot is so muddled and haphazard that I was three quarters of the way through it before I had a true sense of what the hell was going on. I get that it was important to keep the rebel’s plan against the occupying aliens secret from the aliens but that shouldn’t extend to the audience. I left this movie trying to figure out if I liked it or not. I still am; which is still an indictment, because I love science fiction. Especially smart science fiction, which this tried to be.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rdmusquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting arrival of the BRS; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Deckzilla Dude – senior citizen carpenter/contractor; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Winter Broke

All That's Left

Although temperatures are still below where they’re supposed to be I’m going out on a limb and declaring victory over the latest winter. Since both of my children are becoming increasingly parsimonious with photos of my granddaughters we’ll have to be content with the last vestige of snow remaining on the front yard. I’m actually impressed with the little bugger because it’s withstood some serious attempts at eradication from the increased sun angle that removed all the road side snow banks over the past week. The extended weather forecast says we’re good to go for the next week with only some rain on the horizon.

I would have liked to have one more snow storm to welcome home my Favorite Panamanian next week but that would be just cruel and I would have to get the car washed again. I’m finding myself torn with too much make work. I employ that technique to fight off the effects of loneliness but I may have overdone it. I find myself competing with my need to complete reading the latest Joe Pickett novel, the current jigsaw puzzle, and a resurgent DVR list. I polished off the newest Shameless season only to have a new season of Billions appear. I have taken to ignoring any recommendations from friends and family about other shows I should be watching.

My lack of direction will be seriously imperiled starting this weekend when the pre-return of wife cleaning binge starts. I know I’ll never get the house to her standard but I do have to get it beyond gag inducing levels. I achieve that and the plants survive the week – I’m golden. The other activity I gladly shoehorn in each day are the video calls with my kids and the Favorite Panamanian. Last night the BRS had spent too much of the day schmoozing with friends at Day Care instead of napping. That resulted in an uncharacteristically grumpy call. I could only generate small smiles while she insisted on snuggling with her dad. The FBR on the other hand was completely engaged. She insisted on inspecting my progress on the current puzzle – a passion we share. We also had a spirited discussion on the issue of ketchup love and an in depth character analysis of the Beauty and the Beast. She’s getting ready to fly cross country tomorrow back to LA to hang out with some of her original friends.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Sunday, March 17, 2019

New Doo, Spring Clean, and a Hasty Beer

The New Doo

The biggest news from yesterday was a new hairdo for the FBR. She and I talked about the approaching appointment with the stylist over the past week during our nightly calls. Much to her mother’s horror the FBR and I agreed she should get a haircut like my military inspired buzz cut. I’m thankful my daughter still accepted my calls after that episode. Thankfully the wiser head of my daughter prevailed and the results speak for themselves. The FBR proclaimed that she loved the updated look although it does provide a glimpse into the future as she looked so much older. She’s still a little goofy on our call last night so thankfully nothing else has changed.

Assessing

Celebratory Lollipop

That call came while I was hanging out with Keene Friend and Cantankerous Friend for an unplanned opportunity back in my home town. I planned on knocking out a couple projects in the house; cleaning up both the garage and the basement. Both were related to the home renovation project which required a lot of the junk located in the garage to be moved to the basement. Instead of moving it all back up I received guidance from the house commander in chief – My Favorite Panamanian.

Basement Before Picture

Garage Before Picture

She tried to supervise form Panama which allowed me a lot more leeway. She wanted one of the large racks in the garage moved to the basement but she indicated a lack of confidence I could accomplish that move without breaking anything. The night earlier I had some fun with both of my kids by telling them I was going to try and move two couches from the basement upstairs by myself. I guess it says something about my penchant for idiocy that they both took me seriously, became very concerned, and tried to talk me out of it. So I guess I have a well-deserved/earned reputation that screams out a need for supervision.

Safe Rack Photo

I proudly sent my wife a photo of the rack safely in the basement with an accompanying promise that nothing had been broken in the process. I got both projects well underway when I received a text from Keene Friend saying he and Keene Friend 2 were getting together for their traditional St Patty’s Day beer later Saturday afternoon. I immediately flashed back to my college days where St Patty’s days were sacrosanct party days usually starting at 6am at a bar called Scorpio’s. I felt required to honor that memory and hanging out with two of my best friends didn’t hurt either.

Basement After Picture

Garage After Picture

Keene Friend 2 could only hang for an hour because he had another social event later in the day. After the obligatory stop at Score’s for the aforementioned beer(s) we stopped in at Margarita’s for more beer and a gringo burger. Cantankerous Friend popped up on a text message declaring he was available. He joined us for dinner and then follow up college basketball games at Keene Friend’s house. It was a perfect way to spend what would have otherwise been a lonely evening in the Man Cave.

The Two Keene Friends Yesterday

Very Funny Sign Outside Scores

Returning my hometown has an almost medicinal quality for me. Topping the small rise on Main Street and seeing the tall white church at the head of the square imbues me with a true sense of coming home. I feel bad a times that I denied my own kids this opportunity since, as Army brats, they have no true hometown. Someone posted some photos of the road into town that I drive each time, I share them with you to get a sense of part of the reason I love going home. While there is a profound level of memory the place is soaked with the true reason I love being there lies in the people there. Yesterday was a perfect example of that.

That View of Main Street

The Iced Cliffs of Troy - My Mother in Law Loves these

Mount Monadnock - You Know You're getting Close

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Friday, March 15, 2019

Kiwi Horror

“Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.”

― Maya Angelou

I’m going to wax a little philosophic today reacting to the latest horror rendered yesterday in New Zealand. Terrorists because, make no mistake, that is exactly what they are, killed nearly fifty innocent people yesterday as they gathered to pray to the same God most of us do. The terrorists belong to the same sad imbecilic fraternity that populated the ranks of ISIS. It’s not hard to denounce flagrant acts committed against people for no other reason than their religion such as in New Zealand yesterday. Far more insidious are the smaller acts of hatred and bigotry which we must also condemn: a murmured slur, an offensive slogan spray painted on a wall, the inappropriate belittling joke, as well as physical attacks.

Hate dishonors us all. It is not enough to abstain from speaking or acting in a hateful manner. We have an obligation to speak out against hatred and bigotry. People often stand idly by while others demonstrate hostility toward a people whose religion or ethnicity differs. Yet it is exactly this indifference, this willingness to let prejudice pass unchallenged, which leads to evil as the hate mongers feel empowered.

“Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated.” ― George Bernard Shaw

I count as one of the biggest personal failures in my life was not confronting the racist leanings of one of my buddies when I first joined the Army. We became friends shortly after I arrived in Germany and went everywhere together. We went to see Rocky 2 at the movie theater and during the final fight (Rocky beat Apollo) my friend was leaping to his feet and yelling, “Beat that N----r!!”. I tried shrinking into my seat. I never said anything to him about it and in that I failed. I never hung out with him again but that was cowardly on my part. I missed my chance to make a difference. As long as we let those small moments pass without calling attention to the idiocy they represent, the threat to justice everywhere will continue. The world needs more men and women with the personal courage to take a stand against everyday acts of hatred and cruelty.

Getting to know the people you may have personal qualms about is the best medicine to confront these incipient feelings of hatred. The time I spent in the Middle East was most instructive. Following 9/11 I was ready to decapitate any Muslim I ran into. I eventually figured out this is exactly what the pigeon brained idiots who flew the planes into the towers wanted. They wanted to sow their hatred. During my several trips to the region I was required to work with many Muslims and guess what? They’re exactly like us in most respects. They want to love and live their lives. They were some of the finest people I’ve ever met. This doesn’t change my mindset that that the fanatics on both sides of the equation, the extremists that populated ISIS ranks or white supremacists like the New Zealand shooters need to be shot on sight. That is the only solution for that level of stupidity.

“Try to understand men. If you understand each other you will be kind to each other. Knowing a man well never leads to hate and almost always leads to love.”

― John Steinbeck

Finally, on a decidedly more mundane level the BRS has ventured back into the pool. As the accompanying photos will attest she attended her first ever swimming lessons this past weekend. If her antics in Panama are any indication she inherited her grandfather’s aquatic genes and will soon be paddling around. In a major upset my Favorite Panamanian weighed in on the beard controversy I wrote about yesterday and directed me to keep it. Against all odds, the beard abides. I think the change of heart came about when she heard the FBR liked it. The beard still faces a tough fight for survival when she returns. I finished a puzzle in two quick sittings but I feel like I cheated. It was a gift from the New Jersey contingent and depicted Civil War battlefields. Since I’ve walked so many of those fields it was probably the easiest big puzzle ever.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Thursday, March 14, 2019

To Beard or Not To Beard

Sox Fan FBR Comes in as a Pro-Beard Vote

I have a decision to make. The stitches in my face from the latest Mohs surgery seemed to have dissolved which means the beard I’ve acquired over the past couple weeks can depart. I know if my Favorite Panamanian was in residence there would be no debate but since she’s a couple thousand miles away for at least a couple more weeks the debate will “rage” on. I probably wouldn’t even be thinking twice except two fairly attractive ladies came up to me yesterday and said they liked it. That was probably more of a comment on what the beard hides versus an actual compliment but my vanity was certainly piqued.

The Issue

The FBR came firmly in as a pro-beard vote although she did hang up on me during our FaceTime call last night. She opined I should try a goatee but that’s too much work. Then there is the torch carrying aspect; my first ever attempt at growing a beard was in college when my then girlfriend (eventual fiancé) asked me to grow one. It was an abdominal failure as it came in all scraggly and was in place when I was introduced to her parents for the first time. That could explain her mother’s enduring opinion of me over the ensuing years.

It was over thirty years before I tried again (gives you an idea of how hideous that initial effort was). I finally grew one in 2005 since it wasn’t allowed during the nearly three decades I spent running around in uniform. I was completely disappointed when the beard came out nearly entirely gray and I know it sounds foolish to be surprised. It will probably disappear since the Favorite Panamanian gets 51% of the vote.

I saw Captain Marvel earlier this week and was thoroughly impressed. The best part was I didn’t even stop to think about the fact it was a female lead in a superhero movie. The earlier work of Natasha Romanov and Diana Prince made that possible. A lot of credit should go to Brie Larsen who was as understated as you can be with fire spurting out of your hands but leavened that with the trademark Marvel humor amidst the almost non-stop action. I know nothing of the background mythology surrounding this character which served me well as I enjoyed this latest background story for a Marvel superhero. The filmmakers also did a good, and at times subtle, job of inserting her story into the Marvel universe. Samuel L Jackson was very effective as a younger version of Nick Fury and it was laugh out loud funny to learn how he lost his left eye (err, as funny as losing an eye can be). Another Marvel success which shouldn’t surprise me at this point.

I finally got around to seeing Mortal Engines as well. I really wish I’d seen this on the big screen because it is truly epic in scope. Once you get past the incredible and frankly ludicrous notion of “predator cities” this was a very enjoyable post-apocalyptic jaunt. Peter Jackson’s New Zealand bunch know how to throw a party and the two young leads in this were allowed to shine despite the motorized cities constantly trying to run them over. I found myself caught up in their very unconventional love story which included a stint in a slave auction and pursuit by a lovelorn super zombie. I did mention this was science fiction didn’t I. Hugo Weaving is along (again a Jackson movie – so a required element) as the bad guy who goes all Darth Vader on the young heroine. I know this movie was almost universally scorned and avoided but I really enjoyed it and encourage you to give it a chance.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Conversational

FBR Practicing Poses with Pee Wee

I honestly do not understand how prior generations of grandparents survived without video calls. Granted, earlier generations were usually more closely situated geographically, well except for my vagrant Army lifestyle. I often think about my mother during these calls because she was devoted to her grandchildren but never had the opportunity to experience it. It’s become part of my nightly routine to spend a few minutes with each of my “kids” and their families with most of the time spent communicating with granddaughters.

A Rare Reflective Moment at the Playground

Last night the BRS was uncommunicative which is a rare occurrence. I caught her just as she was waking up from her post-daycare nap and the only thing she wanted to do was snuggle with her dad. I went through my entire repertoire of funny faces and noises with zero effect. I’m sure my son was more than a little entertained by my gyrations.

I had much better luck with the FBR. This might have been our best FaceTime call ever as she was very talkative and hugely entertaining for the entire time. We hit on a variety of subjects ranging from toasting marshmallows (she qualifies that as camping) to Disney movies (huge fan) to an in depth discussion on the taste of peanut butter cookies (a passion we share).There was also a showing of muscles (she won) which she picked up somewhere. Both of her parents and I were required to demonstrate we had the basic pose down. She asked Wingman to assist the family cat Pee Wee but we all agreed that wasn’t going to happen. Her latest movie craze is Beauty and the Beast and she waxed eloquently on the transitional character arc of the beast. She also wanted to make sure I was prepared to watch this with her when she next came to visit, as if I had the power to resist any of her suggestions.

Movie Night with Curbside Gen 2 Buds

She also pointed out that she wanted a new toy and gave me specific guidance on what the particulars of the purchase should include; a red button was particularly stressed. She did this without a hint of guile, just feeling it was something important for me to know. Amazon tells me it should be delivered early next week.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

Monday, March 11, 2019

Valley Street Reintegration

Overlooking WPI With Cantankerous Friend

Another weekend, another memorable social experience as Cantankerous Friend came down for a couple days to help quell any suspicions of loneliness. It was great to have some quality hang time with a guy who was my best friend dating back to the third grade. We grew up four houses from each other and followed similar tracks in our professional lives, mine in the Army and he in the Navy. We usually get together as part of a larger group and this was the first time in a long time that it was just the two of us for an extended time. Part of that time was reminiscing about memories of our respective families and growing up on Valley Street. He’s the only resident remaining on that street from our era and with the recent passing of his father that may end as well. He made it down on Friday in time to make the First Friday of the Week celebrations which included Keene Friend so there was an opportunity for the usual cantankerousness between the two of them.

The Stop & Shop Robot

Saturday saw some errands and we ran into a robot running around the grocery store. It was really strange as I guessed it's supposed to note any spills or other issues. In reality its primary function seemed to be to cause shopping cart traffic jams. Friend helped me out with a couple minor home repair projects. We’ve have one of those folding double doors in the laundry room that needed the track runners replaced for a long time. With his assistance I was able to finally get that knocked out and then it was out into Worcester for the day. Cantankerous spent his initial college years at Worcester Poly-Tech so we tried to find something he remembered but there’s been a lot of changes over the past forty years. We finally declared victory and returned to Brew City for lunch followed by a mini-pub crawl down Shrewsbury Street. My Assistant GM was wandering through Worcester during the final stop and we vectored him in for a couple beers. He was fully indoctrinated into the Cantankerous Friend experience. It was such a good time.

Saturday Crawl

We returned home to get diner ready as no less auspicious guests than Great Aunt and Soxfather journeyed up from Rhode Island for a viewing of Bohemian Rhapsody. I’d told them they needed to see the movie for the first time on an appropriate sized screen and a sound system that could remove eyebrows. Since the Man Cave is thus equipped it was a date. The dinner was another journey through Valley Street memories as 3 out of the 4 people there grew up there and the 4^th, Soxfather, had his own bundle of memories from the times spent there while my mother was still alive.Sunday brought snow followed by ice and the Cantankerous Friend left following breakfast in order to beat the ice back to Keene.

I was left to my own supervision which is always ripe for sloth which was the predictable result due to the excuse provided by the ice storm. I did relearn a valuable lesson on removing hot pans from the oven. I broiled up some burgers and instead of putting the oven mitt on I used it like a holder and my thumb inadvertently slipped between two of the mitt fingers so I was using bare skin to lift the pan from the over up to the stove.

Burned thumb

I found myself on the horns of a dilemma. My initial reaction was to immediately drop the pan but this had some very apparent drawbacks. I’d cleared the oven so dropping meant ten burgers and the associated grease would be spilled across the kitchen floor as well as my legs, so not a good option. As quickly as possible I completed the lift and then blistered some paint off the wall with some truly remarkable profanity (even I was impressed). I was very glad my granddaughters weren’t around to hear it. I spent the rest of the day with my thumb packed in ice but at least the burgers were saved.

So another great weekend where a lifelong buddy once again proved that the “Friend” part of the nickname I have bequeathed him for Frail Deeds is the dominant feature.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

RECURRING CHARACTERS

BR3 - Granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd musquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting the real thing; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latin friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues