Cabin Weekend

Back at work today after a weekend that induced a bit of cabin fever due to the weather (see earlier post).  After running some errands Friday night I didn’t leave the property for the entire weekend.  This is the source of a little friction because my wife is retired (at my insistence) and she’s ready to get out on the weekends while I am more of a home body looking to recharge the batteries after a long week at work.  We usually do get out for several trips during a normal weekend – that was not the case for this past weekend due to the storm.  I found that I missed that, a lot.  I’ve written before that our house is too big for just the two of us and it was evident this weekend.  I’ve constantly moved throughout my adult life due to the military career.  I’ve lived in this house for six years now which is the longest I’ve lived in one place other than the house I grew up in.  I’ve kept waiting for a sense of “home” to settle in but that still hasn’t happened and now I wonder if it ever will.  I think most of that is due to the relative isolation of living in the country in a place we came to late in life.  While we have great neighbors, they are really the only people in town that we really know.  I think that is why I feel drawn back to the place I grew up – still looking for home.

Yes, Dear



Yes, Dear I will Listen Next Time

We've been married almost thirty years and at times we have disagreements, such as yesterday when she insisted I get my snow blower set up.  I obstinately refused as I felt she was wandering into one of the few areas in the house where I have absolute authority.  In addition it is a huge pain in the ass to rig the snow blower onto my lawn tractor.  We had a forecast for 6-8" of snow and this early in the season I figured most would melt on its own.  I walked out this morning and we had nearly 18 inches of snow on the ground.  My very first thought when seeing this was - boy am I going to eat a lot of crow this week.  About ten minutes into the back breaking shovelling I actually admitted to myself that she might have been right (I am a very stubborn Yankee).  After about an hour and half the next door neighbor came out and helped out with his snow blower - which was huge.  My wife, to her credit, actually came out and helped which is amazing since she absolutely hates snow.  We ended up having a great time outside playing with our dog and the neighbor's kids.  In an event that will allow me to mitigate my penance to a certain degree - my wife locked us out of the house when she came outside. I will be eating that crow all week with fond memories of playing in the snow with my wife for the first time in our 30 years together.  When she's right - she's right, which I will undoubtedly hear a few times this week - deservedly. 

My Wife and Buddy the Wonder Pooch

New York Sojourn

I’m just back from a very entertaining day in New York City.  On Wednesday we drove down to New Haven to catch the train to New York.  That was a bit of an adventure because we had to catch a certain train and when we showed up all the parking lots were full.  We eventually found a garage meant for hourly parking.  I thought I was going to take a big financial hit but we had to catch that train.  We were met by my daughter and son in law at Grand Central and walked to a restaurant just off Times Square.  We had a great dinner together and then we dropped off my wife and daughter to see the Hugh Jackman on Broadway show.  My son in law and I had no interest in being compared, both verbally and subconsciously, for two hours by our respective wives while they feasted their eyes on this paradigm of the male species.  My wife even made a risqué comment on Mr. Jackman’s posterior to my daughter, who of course immediately tweeted it to the world.  Meanwhile my son in law and I journeyed to a nearby bar expecting to watch a World Series game.  The game was postponed so we ended up just spending the time talking about, well,  just about everything and also consuming vast quantities of alcohol.  I had the best time that I had had in a very long time.  I love the fact that my children are at an age where we can talk with them as adults, from my wife’s butt comments to my long conversation with my son in law.  I’m not sure they are always as pleased at the increasingly, and sometimes inappropriate, familiar comments from their childhood icons (maybe?).   While I have a few beers each weekend this was the first time in a long time that I was really feeling no pain and it was fun to spend it with people I love.  I hope I didn’t embarrass them too much but this was a great vacation from stress.  I probably should have toned down my verbal assessments of our fellow subway riders but hey, no one got stabbed – at least in our immediate vicinity.  In the morning we rode the subway in with my daughter on her way to work and said goodbye at Times Square so my wife could realize a long held dream – to see Good Morning America.  She watches it everyday and is a huge fan.  When we walked up everyone was clustered around the weather guy so we stepped up to another window to watch the rest of the cast.  This turned out to be a great move because as soon as the weather was over they started prepping a set right in front of our window.  The exotic animal guy, Jack Hanna, walked in and sat down right in front of us.  The entire GMA crew came over and George Stephanopoulos even waved to my wife.  He was followed by a flamingo and a full grown cheetah, which made us think of our daughter (her favorite animal).  Our plan was to walk around New York but there was a steady cold rain that modified that plan.  We caught a train back to New Haven and I made the 10 minute trek through the cold rain to pick up the car, dreading the cost the whole way – we even pooled all our cash.    My wife waited at the terminal so I could make better time.  It turned out to be a non-issue and the cost even less than our normal parking spot.  When we both were back in the car we agreed that we really missed the freedom having our own transportation.  Owning a car in NYC makes no sense, but on a day like yesterday, we missed it.   A long drive through the rain and we ended up in Providence where we saw the movie The Three Musketeers – which was absolutely abominable.  We were then reunited with Buddy with predictable enthusiasm and a delicious meal with my sister.  The drive home turned out to be a real adventure as we were in the middle of blizzard like weather with a severe snow storm.  We made it home, exhaled and agreed – despite the weather challenges – a truly special day because of the time we had with our daughter and son in law; told you I was lucky.

The Wife and I at the Restaraunt

 Two Very Special People - Daughter and Son in Law

Enjoying the Night Life - Lucky Guy on the Left

Gotham Getaway

Today my wife and I head to New York City to visit my daughter and son in law.  He gave my daughter tickets to see Hugh Jackman on Broadway and she in turn invited my wife to see the show with her.  I thought this would be a great opportunity for them to spend time together until they both started campaigning for me to come along and hang out with my son in law.  I initially resisted because I thought this was being forced down my son in law’s throat only because my wife did not want to make the drive. I mean, who wants to hang out with their father in law?  My daughter eventually convinced me that he did, in fact, want to – I wrote earlier about how lucky I am in the son in law department.  So last night we took Buddy to stay with my sister, which he loves, except when we sneak out without him.  On the way home we stopped off and saw the movie 50/50, a movie about dealing with cancer.  I really enjoyed it, sad but ultimately uplifting.  Gordon-Leavitt is going to win an Oscar some day – he’s very good.  The movie had a real ring of truth to it instead of going for cheap sentimentality.  Angelica Huston really delivered as the smothering mother.  Today, in order to make the early afternoon train, I came into work very early.  I do this every couple of months to check on my early morning crew.  I always enjoy the reaction.  I did miss my early morning talk with Buddy.

Tempus Fugitive

Something I’ve noticed as I get older is how much faster time seems to pass by.  I can remember the four years of high school and then college and how long a period of time that seemed.  One of the reasons I joined the Army was that I could not bear the thought of a whole three years more of law school.  That seems ludicrous now although I’m sure I made a better soldier than I would have a lawyer.  Time just seems to have accelerated – it feels (almost) like yesterday that I was a young guy with two small kids.  Now those “kids” are closer to thirty than to twenty and I’m left trying to figure out where all the time went.  I assume, at my current age, I’ve got at least fifteen good years left and that’s kind of scary with the way time seems to have sped up.  I think this phenomena occurs because as you get older you fall into more consistent rhythms and routines which causes the days to kind of run together.  This isn’t an “Oh Woe is Me!” declaration, merely an observation.  I’m generally pleased with what I’ve done in my life.  I’m married to the love of my life, I’ve got the two very best children a father could hope for, I’ve seen most of the world, been in a movie, met one of America’s great presidents in the Oval Office, and excelled at a profession that I truly loved.  I’m happy to see both of my children making the most of their youth – getting out and seeing the world and experiencing life.  I think that’s one of the most important lessons a parent can pass on – an appreciation of life and not to waste it.  While faced with the implacable march of time I’m not going to sit back and watch.  I’m finding that you can slow that stride by simply looking around and savoring what life has to offer; find those special moments that are all around us every day.  It’s, in a way, re-discovering the wonder of youth when almost everything was a new experience.

Decisions, Decisions

I’ve written before about considering other jobs.  Another opportunity has arisen that I am looking at.  It’s actually going back to a place I worked at directly after leaving the Army.  I have really fond memories of the place and I loved working for the guy that hired me.  I left because the overall administrator didn’t like my boss.  He did like me and I felt if I had stayed that I would be a threat to my boss – again, a guy I really like and respect.  My departure had the exact effect I had hoped for, the administrator realized what a treasure he had in my old boss and they now get along well.  I still get together with my old boss occasionally for a couple of Friday night beers.  Last week, over the latest installment of those beers, he said my old job was open again and would I consider coming back.  I told him that he couldn’t afford me, due to the hefty pay raise I got when I took my current job.  Shared with him what I was currently making and he agreed, so we continued enjoying our Friday night.  Last Monday he called me at the office and said, “What if we could afford you?”  Apparently the administrator heard I might come back and said he would kick in the extra money to get me back, paying me what I am making at my current job.  I was very flattered and talked this over with my wife who knows me better than anyone and knows I missed working with my old boss.  She also was excited that I would no longer have to spend two hours every day commuting as the old place is much closer to home.  This would be step back career wise but as I think about it, do I really care?  I worked hard and was very competitive in my first career, rising near the top in that profession.   Following retirement I embarked on my career pledging to spend time on a family and wife that the military didn’t always allow me to.  As I prospered in the new job and basically doubled what I was initially making I started getting that competitive urge again – especially when I saw the competition.  The question again arises – do I care?  At this point in my life I think I would be happier in the old job working with a boss I like and admire, in a job I can do in my sleep.  If I was twenty years younger I probably wouldn’t give the old job a second thought but, as I am reminded on a constant basis, I’m not that young anymore.  Can I really put on price on the enjoying whom I work with everyday and extra time at home?

Wedded Brrrr

I went to a wedding last night in a nearby town, the bride a former co-worker of my wife.  I went under mini-protest because this was the weekend of an annual festival in my home town that I look forward to all year.  Needless to say I lost that argument.  I had a good time at the wedding but I spent part of the time thinking back to the time I was missing.  I was a huge hero with my wife by recommending she wear her warmest coat.  This was because the wedding ceremony was outside and the reception in a tent right next to it.  Note to all future brides – late October in central Massachusetts is too late in the season for an outdoor wedding.  The entire wedding party, with the sleeveless gowns had pronounced goose bumps.  While the tent had two underperforming space heaters, our table was right by the entrance with a huge opening allowing a steady breeze.   My wife had initially decided to wear a short, stylish jacket and I told her she should go warmer.  As we sat at the reception and the temperature fell into the thirties she kept thanking me over and over again.  My wife, a native of Panama, does not handle cold, or even cool well.  Something I’ve noticed over the last few years at weddings is the interminable wait while the photographer takes the official wedding photos.  Granted, there is usually a cocktail hour while everyone else waits, something I am personally a big fan of; however I think it’s gotten a little out of hand.  I know most photographers are very creative types and they have most wedding parties at their mercy for that time period.  Last night it was really noticeable as everyone shivered waiting for them to finish up.  When we went up for the first dance I almost fell on my face during my first move, such as it was.  I did not realize that my feet had almost frozen being in the breeze from the open door.  My wife assumed I had spent too much time at the bar but I went on to redeem myself as the feet warmed up.  I also noticed how disjointed a reception can be with a bad DJ and the one last night was egregious.  Despite all of this we had a good time which I attribute to my date – she has the ability to elevate what would be less than ideal circumstances – I get the assist with the warm coat recommendation.  We ended the evening with the wife driving home, I did spend some time at the bar, which is always an adventure (her driving, not my time at the bar, well sometimes…).