Tough Spousal Year Continues

One of the problems with advancing age is the attendant loss of loved ones. This past year has been especially difficult for my Favorite Panamanian who has seen a favorite cousin as well as beloved aunts and uncles shuffle off the mortal coil. The bad news continued earlier this week with the death, from leukemia, of my sister-in-law’s husband Conry. That sister-in-law, Charro, succumbed to lung cancer nearly eighteen years ago and Conry had been truly adrift ever since. He was one of those larger-than-life characters who would enter a room and made it his mission to insure everyone was laughing in very short order.

R.I.P. my Friend

With Charro and Their Two Daughters

Charro was the first future in-law family member I met and played an important part in convincing my Favorite Panamanian that it would be a good idea to take a chance on a certain gringo lieutenant. She wasn’t married to Conry at the time. He had been in love with her since high school and was even chased away from the house one night by my father-in-law when he serenaded Charro outside her window. When she married someone else, Conry left the country and worked in the United States for many years. When he heard that the marriage had fallen apart and Charro was in a bad situation, he dropped everything and hurried back to Panama and their great love story was finally fulfilled.

So Proud of his Youngest Daughter

She Remains one of my Favorite People

This was obviously when I first met Conry and I always looked forward to seeing him on my visits to Panama. He and Charro established a fun home that was soon joined by two daughters. We always stayed at least a few days with them in Panama City before heading up to Chiriquí. Conry was generous to a fault and would drop everything to help in any situation. As with a lot of Panamanians, he was a little time challenged, that led to some very funny confrontations between him and Charro, usually when it turned out he was playing his beloved basketball when he as supposed to be doing something for her.

One of my favorite memories of Conry involves their 2000 visit to us when we were living in Burke, Virginia. He and Charro showed up with a respectable slice of my Favorite Panamanian’s family and it was the best time we had in that house, with non-stop laughter. We also took a memorable trip in a rented van in the middle of winter up the Eastern Seaboard to visit New England. The funniest part though was seeing him dragged each day we were in town out to shopping with Charro. I always thought I married the most dedicated shopper in their family but it turned out to be Charro. Then she discovered the Potomac Mills outlet mall in nearby Dale City and you would think Charro was in heaven. They had to make two trips to TJ Maxx to buy additional suitcases (large ones) to accommodate all her purchases. They were getting ready to fly home when a rare snow storm hit the area and their flight was canceled. I was working in the Pentagon at the time and heard about this from my Favorite Panamanian while I was at work. When I asked what they were doing with their additional time with us, she just said, Potomac Mills. Conry was such a good sport and could never do enough for his beloved Charro.

The Whole Fam

When Charro fell ill with lung cancer a few years later Conry just could not handle it. In the years since her passing he was a shadow of his former self although he continued to be the life of any party he was involved in. You could see there was a bone deep despair behind the laughing eyes. I’m glad they’re back together again and I’m sure Charro is giving him an earful about the intervening years, while still laughing in each other’s arms. Their youngest child, my niece, is one of my favorite people in the world and I wish I could be there to give her a hug as she figures out her post-Conry life. He tended to fill your life and the void at his passing will be immense. She’s tough though and I know she’ll come through. I look forward to that next hug. Rest in Peace Conry, enjoy your eternity with your darling Charro in your arms again, you were loved.

Conry and Keene Friend During Latter's Visit to Panama

Later, Big Guy, You Will be Missed

The Cantankerous Friend has also had a tough week. I got a message last night from the Keene Friend that Cantankerous was back in the Emergency Room for the second time in a month due to a bike accident. It seems he tried to play chicken with a truck on his daily mega-bike ride, and lost decisively. Luckily it was a slow speed impact but still significant enough to ruin his pricey bike and leave him with some broken bones in his hand. Once I heard he was okay I sent him a message that he must be trying to date an emergency room nurse since he was spending so much time there. We talked on the phone later and it was good to hear him sound in fine fettle. Still, really scary. Keene Friend joked that Cantankerous says he rides his bike so much to keep from getting old, and if this keeps up, he might get his wish. On a lighter note, my son ran into this sign which he immediately sent to me, it confirms a long-held belief his father tried to instill in him. It is the First Friday of the Week after all.

Three movies fell in my A-Z watch, two keepers and one not so much: Donovan’s Reef – have always loved this last collaboration of John Wayne and John Ford, always fun with Wayne and Marvin on screen together; Doom – so, so bad, my son played this game incessantly as a kid, only movie Rock has just been plain bad in; and Doomsday – I’ll watch anything with Ms. Mitra in it, much better than I remembered.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                     

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during him her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather - my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course

Hilarious Missing Person Alert

That misplaced person was none other than myself, this morning. We’ll get to the hilarious part which I think only my kids, knowing their mother, will truly appreciate. One of my goals in retirement is seven hours of sleep a night. Now that I have an apple watch I can actually track that. That becomes problematic because I also love to stay up late to watch movies (see A-Z below). I aim to hit the sack around 1230am each night. The problematic part emerges with the person I share the bed with. My Favorite Panamanian loves/needs to go to church during the week (I am not so afflicted).

Deckzilla's Wisteria is in Full Bloom

As Intended, Bringing back Memories of Ft McNair Home

That wouldn’t normally be a problem except that the weekday service starts at 8am. Anybody who’s ever dated/married a Panamanian lady knows that means at least an hour and a half prep time before emerging from the bedroom/bathroom. We have a geographic problem in our bedroom in that the bathroom is on one side of the bed and the changing room, you guessed it, is on the other. My time in the Army robbed me from sleeping in and also bequeathed a very light sleeping mode upon me. That means when my Favorite Panamanian gets up and starts puttering around, I’m awake.

Caught a Chipmunk Licking the Deck Furniture This Morning

What's That All About?

I know. I know. I’m getting to the point. While she tries to be quiet, it is not really her strong suit (kids nodding sagely). She claims to feel bad about waking me up and suggested I sleep in the old master bedroom on the nights before she has these early morning forays. I’m too used to having a partner beside me so I vetoed that idea. This morning however, when she began her crack of dawn ministrations, I got up and went down the hall to that old master bedroom and promptly fell blissfully asleep. I was awoken a full hour later as my wife’s clogs shattered the morning calm moving rapidly throughout the house, up and down the stairs. She then started calling out my name, obviously very concerned.

She rushed into the room when I answered and told me to feel her heartbeat which was racing. When she found our bed empty, she assumed I had gotten up and headed to the Man Cave, which, in all honesty, is my “go to” move. She searched that twice and both the front and back yards and after confirming both cars were still in the garage, thought I’d had some sort of psychological breakdown and had wandered out of the house. I’m not sure why that was what first theory that leaped into her mind but she does have a dramatic flair. I was laughing too hard to feel really sorry for her. She denies being a control freak (kids nodding again) but it was instructive to see how my “disappearance” was treated. Oh, and I made my seven hours, by two whole minutes. Okay, maybe it wasn’t as funny as I thought, you kind of had to be there, which would have been weird.

Before this morning's adventure I surprised the wife with a last-minute date on Tuesday afternoon. We saw About Your Father, with Robert DeNiro once again playing a crotchety father figure with some redeeming qualities. This was okay but it was obvious the guy playing the son, Sebastian Maniscalco, a standup comic by trade, was out of his league within this cast. This was his story though so it would have been hard to keep him out, but it would have been a better picture with a real actor in that role. The movie does have some heart and a "family is everything" message which is in my wheelhouse. I wish they didn’t try to sneak in some way too obvious gags instead of staying with the story which had everything they needed. Okay but not worth recommending.

Three movies fell in my A-Z watch, all keepers, Dodgeball, A True Underdog Story - jarring to watch after Doctor Zhivago, still strangely funny; Dogma – much funnier than I recalled, and Do Not Disturb – nostalgic Doris Day/Rod Taylor farce.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                     

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during him her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather - my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course

Uncle Pete

One of the messages I received last week over the Memorial Day holiday was the message you see below. It was from a hometown newspaper clipping one of my cousins found in his father’s belongings. It was written by a friend of my Uncle Pete and was, as he wrote the letter, serving in the European theater of World War 2. It brought home to me an uncle I never met but who loomed over all family gatherings where his brothers and sisters (those amazing aunts and uncles of my youth) lionized him as one of the best. He was killed in 1942 in one of the earliest battles of World War 2, a marine at Guadalcanal. He died more than ten years before I was born but I know he had a special place in the family and was closest to my dad in age. Finally, I was really struck by this photo of Uncle Pete. He carried so many of the family features I see in my cousins and my own children/grandchildren. Thank you for your service, Uncle Pete, I wish we could have met but we will keep your memory alive.

KEENE SOLDIER DEDICATES POEM TO NORMAN PARKER (Keene Evening Sentinel)

John McGrath, Jr. a Keene boy who is serving in the armed forces of this country somewhere in Sicily, has written to Waldo W. Buckminster in Keene relative to Norman "Pete" Parker, who was killed in action earlier in the year. He also enclosed a poem he has dedicated to "Pete." The letter is as follows: "A little more than four months ago the editors of 'Life' magazine published a list of all American soldiers, sailors and marines who have given their lives for their country. This list also included men who are missing in action and not officially listed as dead. Among those names was one that many Keene folks knew. The name, Norman Parker, “Pete”, was that of a young boy in the prime of his life when death came to him so swiftly but even then he placed his country at the head of his list. I have known Pete' for many years, in school and out of school and never have I found a person who can take his place. He was in many ways a typical American boy and he proved this when he answered the call of his country.

As usual all is well here with me. Life here is pretty much the same as it was in North Africa. About the difference we find is the weather and the people. Of course there are many minor differences as one finds traveling from one state to another but these are not important.

The following is the poem written in memory of Norman Parker which was enclosed in the letter:

"PETE" PARKER

He may not ever have a tomb, a monument or marker

But never can the curse of war erase the name of Parker;

"Pete" gave his best for Uncle Sam when fighting was terrific

And died the death of heroes, in the far-off South Pacific.

We cannot know why men like

"Pete" are so abruptly taken

And faithful parents must survive in grief so cruelly shaken;

We only ask without reply,

"why

has this life so ended?"

"What was the reason somber death on him so descended?"

We do not know we never can, for death like fatal cancer

Just leaves behind a lasting grief and never gives an answer;

But this we know that though we grieve no endless death can sever

The fame connected with "Pete's name, 'twill simply live forever

One movie fell in my A-Z watch, a keepers, Doctor Zhivago, a true epic in every sense of the word, Julie Christie, Wow!

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RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                     

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during him her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather - my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course

Dance Saturation and Winged B-Day

Someone needs to get a memo up to Mother Nature and let her know that it’s supposed to be June, not March. After sweltering 90 degree heat on Friday we’ve been, in a very New England kind of way, sent back to early spring with cold rainy days in the 50s. That’s just wrong on so many levels. Thankfully it’s been one of those weekends in motion where weather is kind of but not really noticed, except for granddaughter time which meant decibel levels at my son’s house were in the record spectrum this morning. But I digress, before we get to the most excellent time we had up in New Hampshire I’ve got to recount the zombie dance we witnessed on Friday night. 

Friday Night at Halligans

With our Guru and her Husband Friday Night

The Neighborhood Mafioso is our Worcester social scene guru. A lifelong resident of Worcester, she is plugged into all aspects of the social scene around town. This is one of the most compelling reasons we decided to finally put down some roots here. Anyways, she proclaimed that we weren’t going to the Auburn legion hall to dance this past Friday because she got a line on an excellent band, with dancing, at another place in Auburn. I’ve driven by Halligans literally hundreds of time since I moved to Massachusetts since it is on the way to Charlton where we lived for ten years. It sits back from Rt 20 and looks fairly non-descript, more like a biker bar than a “go to” kind of place. We have infinite confidence in the Mafioso though so we arrived around 630pm to find the bar deserted. It was just a test though as the bartender assured us we got there just before the tidal wave. People show up an hour before the band starts, especially this band, to get seats in the dance hall, adjacent to the bar. That turned out to be true as the place was full a half hour later. We paid a cover charge and the ladies snuck into the hall to claim our seats.

Zombies on the Left in Front of Band

For the first time in a lot of Fridays, we were not the youngest people at the place. That was okay because you know we exude gravitas, well, okay, that’s mostly my Favorite Panamanian and the Mafioso. Now, to the zombies. The band was very good and we had a fantastic time dancing. There was a carpeted place between the stage and the dance floor which was kind of weird but okay. When the band started up the carpeted area was quickly filled with about eight rows of people who danced in place (not with each other) while facing and staring at the band. It was a little spooky but that area was filled all night, I guess they’re the band’s groupies. This had the added benefit of pushing the people who wanted to dance with partners far enough back that we were on the actual dance floor. It was yet another great night hanging with our best Worcester friends/neighbors.

Pre-Recital Hair Appointment

Transformed

Saturday dawned a little early after Friday’s exertions as we had to hit the road early to arrive in time for the dance recital of the BRS and BR3. I had been dreading this all week as friends filled me with horror stories about sitting through hours of the same song and dance as different classes make their way through the recital. I had a couple former co-workers stop by for a couple Deckzilla brews Thursday afternoon. They seemed to have fun inflicting these representations on me. Friends. We arrived early enough that my Favorite Panamanian assisted the ABFA with the hair and makeup prep, which I learned is an important step. The two sprites were transformed into absolute visions.

Just Before Gametime

BRS (3rd from left) and BR3 (to her left)

Checking with Big Sis

Conquering Heroines

We drove to the town’s Middle School where my worries grew exponentially. For a small town the place as inundated with parents and other sprites. People had to park on the grass despite the huge parking lots which were chock full. I thought I was in for hours of pain just to see the five minutes my granddaughters would be on stage. We were joined by the ABFA’s parents so at least I would be sharing my pain with good friends. I was steeling myself for the expected agony when I found myself completely captured by the show. Each group came on stage and it was beyond cute as each strove their best to follow the directions of the teachers positioned just below and in front of the stage. I laughed more than I had in a long time. The time flew by.

Post Performance Flowers

C'mon Grandpa, Get with the Program

With The ABFA's Parents

Obligatory Parental Shot

BRS, Star of the Show

Very Proud Momma

My son was a little nervous that BR3 would refuse to join her group on stage as she already sports a very determined stubbornness. When their group walked on the BRS and her sister were next to each other and I almost didn’t recognize them as they had been transformed into mini-ballerinas. The BRS was easily the most elegant dancer in her group and BR3 gamely tried to keep up, even after an early stumble/fall. It was beyond cute. When the group was supposed to move to one side and one of their group wasn’t moving, BR3 lent a forearm to get things on track. I was truly captured and so proud of both of them. It is so much fun being a granddad at times like this. We saw them one other time on stage as they joined every other dance group for a grand finale. It was pure chaos but strangely delightful. The ABFA went to retrieve the girls while we waited outside. As I walked down a hall, the two girls, sporting participation medals, spotted me so I was the first to let them know how proud we all were of them. The ABFA captured that moment in the attached video.

After escaping the aforementioned parking lot we made our way to the home of the conquering heroes where the plaudits continued to rain down on the dancers. We decided to celebrate with a family dinner out featuring the dancers, parents, and all four grandparents. The girls were perfect on a very long wait for our food. The ABFA knows the 110 Grill ladies’ room more intimately than she ever hoped as the granddaughters quickly figured out they could escape the boredom of the dinner table by telling their mom they had to “go potty”. It was a fun night which is usually the case when we hang with our co-grandparents. We were lucky enough to spend the night at my son’s house which meant an hojaldra breakfast and lots of grandad chasing the granddaughters, hence the aforementioned decibel levels. BR3 kept a close eye on the rain and insisted we could outside between showers. This worked for the first couple times however we were fully engulfed by one quick hitting shower which was so funny as we dashed towards the house, completely soaked.

Chaotic Finale

Still Proud Momma

Dinner Last Night

Between Potty Breaks

Proud Dad

Letting Abuela Paint with Her

Filling Grandpa's Shoes

Meanwhile, there was a big event down in New Jersey. Saturday was Wingman’s birthday which meant he received breakfast in bed as well as the day long admiration he has so richly earned. I haven’t received a full report on the day but we got a cryptic message last night from my daughter saying they were heading into the Big Apple for a Seinfeld stand up show. The FBR was undergoing her first ever sleepover party, yet another indication the pandemic is finally regressing in parents’ minds. Today they were apparently at a minor league baseball game where the FBR and my daughter made an appearance on the scoreboard video screen. So, cool.

FBR at Little Mermaid Friday Night

Wingman Birthday Breakfast

Last Night

At the Show

FBR and my Daughter on the Big Screen

We received the attached video from our good friends in Panama. I don’t know how they transformed a photo of our group on the Las Lajas beach into this video but I’m guessing AI was involved. To be clear, in the real world, I am not allowed to sing in public. It involves a public safety ordinance, so this is pure fantasy but so funny, especially since it came from a Yankees fan and he knows this is the Red Sox seventh inning theme song. Too, frigging funny.

Three movies fell in my A-Z watch, all keepers, Django Unchained, wild and wonderful Tarantino mind on full display; Doc Hollywood – still wildly in love with Julie Warner; and Doc Sleep – Danny comes home to the Overlook, awesome Stephen King novel brought to life/death.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                     

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during him her single days in Brooklyn; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Soxfather - my brother in law; Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course