Plumbing for Neighborly Treasures

Tuesday gave Monday a real run for its money in terms of karmic payback for a great weekend.  I spent most of the day dealing with reticent politicos who were giving a certain Bert Lahr movie character a run for his money in terms of courageousness.  After spending the day performing backbone replacement surgery it was great to come home to my favorite Panamanian, especially since it was date night. 

I was Channeling Some Serious Dorothy Yesterday

She had a surprise for me by completely painting the front door to the house.  She’s always hated the bland color and wanted a red front door.  She’s been threatening me with this for years.  She really does have an eye for style because it looks fantastic.  She did learn the difference in working with oil based paints and the need for proper ventilation.  Buddy was an immense help during the project, keeping the dastardly front yard squirrels at bay so my wife could paint in peace.

New Front Door With Buddy at His Post

Date night called for a movie (huge surprise there) and we saw the Seth Rogen comedy, Neighbors.  The plot (such as it was) had a college fraternity move in next to couple with a new baby.  The immediate questions to be pondered are how the hell would Rogen ever score Rose Byrne as a wife and Phoebe as a college dean!  Zac Efron plays the frat guy and he’s turning into a pretty good actor and takes his shirt off enough to please the ladies as he is apparently Matthew MaConaghey’s designated successor in that area. 

I thought my wife would run for door when the spicy language and penis jokes kicked in but she actually enjoyed it (I’m thinking prolonged exposure to paint fumes).  The movie is a collection of vile puerile jokes but against all odds seems to work.  I did feel uncomfortable laughing at a couple of gags (and not just because of my own time spent in a fraternity). If your movie has to contain some “message” or deal with at least some redeeming social value then you should avoid this.  I am not so encumbered so I loved it; after dealing with politicians sometimes you need a good dose of vile puerility. 

We returned home and my wife accidentally dropped a beloved necklace down the drain and implored me to rescue it.  If there was ever a special needs class for plumbing ability my space would be permanently reserved as I possess a scary lack of ability in the area.  She then mentioned the necklace was worth a couple hundred buck so my motivation level skyrocketed (imagining replacement costs).  I was able to remove the drain elbow and dump out the water and not one but two necklaces fell out.

The Rescued Gold

The other necklace was a $600 gold rosary chain that she lost months ago.  She’d thought she lost it at the movie theater and never imagined it was sitting in the bathroom sink drain the whole time.  She quickly deflected my questions as to when “we” bought a $600 rosary chain and was so excited at the find I didn’t have the heart to pursue that line of questioning.  She was so thrilled that she forgot to not open the drain while I was under the sink trying the put the elbow back into place.  I guess she thought it would serve as a distraction.  

Valley Day

I’m a firm believer in the peak and valley concept of karmic retribution.  You have to pay for the peaks of life by journeying through a few valleys.  So after a definitely tall summit over the Mother’s Day weekend I anticipated a fairly challenging descent Monday; because well, it’s Monday.  Yesterday really overachieved in its attempt to define itself as the first day of the work week.

The low light of the day was not one but two public hearings where the “Voices of Inappropriate Worth” were allowed full voice.  There are some very minor changes coming up for the summer so the head politicos decided to hold an informational public hearing.  The meetings were swarmed with the usual culprits and “activists” which Worcester is infested with.

They didn’t want to talk about the changes but about what they wanted for their own personal convenience.  Many of them clamored they wanted the system “back the way it used to be”.  They made claims that we were losing customers left and right because of our ineptitude in serving their personal needs.  I told the head politico that he should point out to them that ridership was up nearly 8% since we made the changes but courage is not one of the politico’s strongest suits.

The meeting was run by one of the planners who quickly lost control to the “Voices” because he’s entirely too polite.  This is probably why the politicos don’t want the operations guys running the meeting.  God forbid we damage the feelings of these lampreys of the social order.  Almost the exact same group showed up for both meetings so nothing productive was accomplished at either other than severely impacting the politico’s pucker factor.

Bruins Beard Week 4
Some More Hellenic Seasoning

The day continued on a downward slope when I learned the house up in Keene that I had found on Zillow and hoped against hope would still be available in the fall was taken off the market.  I then  returned home too late from the meetings to attack the latest mulch mountain sitting in the driveway and saw the Bruins impale themselves up in Montreal.  They’ll be a game 7 in Boston tomorrow which will determine the fate of the beard. At least Jack Bauer was around last night to start the journey up out of the gorge.  He didn’t kill anybody and even discarded his man purse late in the show which was kind of shocking on both fronts.

When I finished my last book on the Kindle I was surprised to find the new John Sandford book, Field of Prey, had automatically downloaded.  I ordered it months ago and it was released last week.  This book continues the story of one of my ultimate literary heroes – Lucas Davenport. He’s a high ranking Minnesota state police investigator who is on the trail of a serial killer who’s discovered when his cistern body disposal site is discovered by some horny teenagers.

Sandford gets back to what makes Davenport such a compelling character as he’s doing the investigating instead of directing others.  He’s like a force of nature and since Sanford also provides a point of view from the killers’ side you can see his relentless approach from both sides.  There’s a neat little twist about three quarters of the way through which added to the drama.  I usually love Sandford’s work but this was one of his best in years.  I typically read while on the stationary bike in the morning and a couple times with this book I lost track of time and more than doubled my usual time because I didn’t want to put it down.  So the workouts were better if it did make for a fairly frantic morning commute.

Mother’s Day Celebrations – Day 2

Day 2 festivities got off to a perplexing start with my son and I attempting to make pancakes for his mother, my wife.  We had a recipe specifically pointed out to us by the recipient of the impending meal and felt semi-confident in our ability to execute the mission.  We ended up with pancake batter with a lot of chunks of cream cheese floating around in it.  This didn’t seem normal but we presumed they must melt from the heat while cooking.  We fished the largest chunks out ahead of time and went for it.

My Son With the Chunky Pancakes

It turns out we were supposed to use the blender versus the mixer although the recipe clearly gave us the option of either.  For the actual cooking I pulled rank and delegated the task to my son who pointed out that he’d never cooked pancakes before.  I blithely informed him that we shared the same qualification level and he had younger reflexes.  While the pancakes were not an artistic success my wife deemed them edible while opening her Mother’s Day gifts. The gift and card opening held the customary attendant water works.  My son and I were hoping the crying was emotion-based rather than a reaction to our breakfast efforts.

Looks Great Even When She's Crying

Despite what you read here fairly often, my wife does a serious character flaw – she doesn’t think she was a good mother.  She thinks she was too tough on our kids when they were young and that they resent her.  While nothing could be further from the truth she always gets overcome with emotion when she realizes just how much they truly love her.  When you consider she came to this country without speaking the language and was “blessed” with a husband who disappeared for long periods of time to play with his well-armed friends I am amazed she can even conceive that she wasn’t a great mom.  I always offer as conclusive evidence of her maternal capacity the two children she raised – case closed.

Son in Law, Daughter and Bro in Law at the Mets

Bro in Law, Sister, and the In Laws on the Other Side

My daughter couldn’t make it up due to baby shower commitments (lamentably not her own J) and she was sorely missed although we did get to Skype with her from her NYC bathroom (everyone else was still asleep in the apartment and the wife does tend to vocalize).  I know she missed being with us but those feelings were softened to a certain degree when she linked up with my sister and the excellent Rhode Island in-law clan for a New York Mets baseball game.  I was happy she got to spend at least part of the day with family and she probably wasn’t asked once about our future grandchildren.

Heading to Church in Dress I Bought her for Mother's Day
Luckily I was not Involved in Purchasing Process

Back in Massachusaletts, after a hurried journey to church, our next mission was a trip up to New Hampshire to spend the afternoon with the MEF and her equally most excellent parents.  They always invite Buddy the Wonder Pooch when we come up but I have resisted due to Buddy’s well known aptitude for chaos and the resident two rather large cats.  Since it was Mother’s Day and we could not refuse her anything, my wife declared that Buddy would join us.  He was almost as excited (meaning just short of apoplectic) to get on the road as my son was, who was seeing the MEF for the first time in ten days.

The Two Moms Out on the Deck

We spent a fantastic afternoon ensconced on a sun lit deck with some of the nicest people in the world.  I’ve written before about how much fun we have whenever we’re lucky enough to hang out with the MEF’s parents.  Granted our kids were there to add to the enjoyment but the MEF’s parents have that rare ability to make you feel so welcome that it’s like you’ve known them for your entire life. 

We did the barbecue thing and took a short walk around the neighborhood to prepare our bodies for the nutritional shock of one of the MEF’s signature moves – chocolate cake with ice cream.  She added a twist this time by adding a special wine poured over the ice cream. 

The Fun Bunch

The Buddy experiment was a mixed and extremely limited success. The shocked cats disappeared upon his arrival and when they did wander back into sight Buddy welcomed them by hurling himself against the door of the deck trying to get at them.  He did settle down and only knocked over one plant but he didn’t distinguish himself as a house guest.  I’m sure the MEF’s parents will not be as liberal with their canine invitations in the future.

We made our way home after a truly pleasant day spent with these excellent people and my wife immediately got to work on catching up on her backlog of Mother’s Day phone calls.  Since she decided to do this right next to me on the couch and I couldn’t say anything (Mother’s Day!) I donned the head phones and attacked the DVR list.  It’s testimony to how involved her phone calls were that she didn’t even flinch when Dean Winchester beheaded a couple demons.  I wasn’t brave enough to try Hannibal out on her though; there has to be some limits.

Wife and Son

So, a great day, if a daughter short but we get her for a couple weekends straight near the end of the month.  

Mother’s Day Celebrations – Day 1

The weather yesterday for Saturday of Mother’s Day weekend was completely dreary but lifted immensely and immediately by the arrival of our favorite son.  Buddy seemed to sense his favorite human was close and upon hearing a car door slam he rushed over to the window, confirmed his arrival and dashed for the door to administer a proper Buddy welcome.

The Calmest Part of the Buddy Welcome

My son arrived with a full bouquet of roses (he knows his mother) and you could almost see the lifting of spirits underway now that she one of her children around (even if he is a bit over six feet).  My wife decided she wanted to go bowling since she inexplicably loves that.  I’m not a huge fan of the sport mainly because my talents lie decidedly elsewhere (where I haven’t quite figured out yet).  We had the immense bowling alley almost completely to ourselves so I felt a little less concerned about revealing my level of competence.

Wife with Filial Rose Haul

My son takes after his mother and is a very good bowler so he arrived with his personal bowling ball and shoes.  We rented a lane for two hours and you could see how much my wife was enjoying her time with us and the bowling.   We were conveniently located next to the snack bar which also served beer!

Wife and Son at Bowling Alley

Our first couple games were typically frustrating as whatever little ability I possessed seemed to have deserted me.  I snuck up to the snack bar for a beer and the slip of a girl who served beer actually carded me which did an immense amount for my morale and even gave me a bracelet so I wouldn’t get carded for subsequent beers.  I opined to my astounded wife and son that my Bruins playoff beard obviously had chopped a couple decades off my appearance.

The Bracelet to Prove I was Over 21
I May Have it Bronzed!

The boost in morale (although my son accredited it to some Coors Lite lubrication) changed my fortunes.  More than anything else I reverted to my time honored technique of brute force and ignorance and abandoned any attempt at technique. I was able to inflict my son’s worst nightmare in beating him in one game, scoring 177. 

Wife and Son at Dinner

My wife’s second request was dinner at the upscale restraint in Worcester that did such a great job on our anniversary dinner. The place was packed and we had to wait nearly a half hour even with reservations but it turned out to be worth the wait.  My son even demonstrated a heretofore undemonstrated knowledge of wine that I’m sure was MEF inspired.  The Bruins game started while we were eating and every time the nearby bar exploded in cheers my son would check the I-phone for a score update.

Wife and I

We got home in time to see the Bruins complete a domination of the hated Canadiens.  The Bruins seemed to have found their stride but momentum is only as good as the next game.  The beard may survive another couple weeks if the Bruins can win one more game against Montreal. 

Even though this was a day doing some things I didn’t always enjoy (I didn’t even mention the stop to shop for flowers) the company made all the difference. Today’s a trip up to New Hampshire to spend the day with the recently returned MEF and her parents for Day 2 celebrations.

Victory Laps Into Weekend Prep

Putin in Crimea Yesterday

Old Vladimir was up to his usual hijinks yesterday rubbing the West’s collective face in the dirt with a victory lap around his virtually bloodless seizure of another country’s sovereign territory by taking a victory lap around Sevastopol, Crimea.  I don’t want the Cantankerous Friend’s head to explode so I won’t belabor what an abject failure in international leadership this represents for the US president.  One can only hope he and the similarly weak kneed, Russian-gas dependent, European leaders aren’t recorded in history as the 21^st century’s version of Neville Chamberlain fifty years from now.  Meanwhile in Eastern Ukraine Putin’s second phase land grab appears on schedule with a referendum this weekend that will serve as his invitation to annex more of his neighbor and move inexorably closer to NATO’s borders.

I went with a default Friday yesterday which is never a bad thing.  My excellent boss had us firmly ensconced in Brew City for a marking of First Friday by 4pm.  This was followed by a date night at Zorba’s with a devastatingly beautiful Panamanian. The owner was also impressed enough with my date that he sent over a free dessert.  The dessert’s arrival doomed another attempted visit to Ronnie’s for ice cream.  I’m going to figure out a way to import the MEF to make that happen.  It was so much fun that I can almost overlook the Sox being nearly no hit in Texas.

Dessert-Worthy Date Last Night

Since the Sox were fast asleep in Texas we took to wandering the air waves and my wife inexplicably wanted to check into day 2 of the NFL draft.  While there were still no Kevin Costner sightings she did fall immediately in love with the latest Patriot’s selection, a quarterback.  She declared that he is a definite babe; oh well I guess we all take different paths to NFL fandom.

My Wife's New Crush

We are in full prep mode for Mother’s Day weekend (expanded from a  single day) with the arrival today of her favorite son.  My daughter will be unable to make it up here due to baby shower responsibilities in NYC.  I think my wife doesn’t mind as long as it serves in some small way as motivation.  I think I’ve talked her out of the planned lawsuit for lack of grandchildren.  My daughter’s card and gift did arrive yesterday so I know her Mom was in her thoughts this week.

Deflated Early the Beard Triumphs Costner-less

Hah!

Since I was reunited with my I-phone you can now bask in the glory that is the weekly photo of my son and I at our hump day luncheon (and you thought you’d escaped that fate this week!).  Yesterday I was reunited with my phone over a very fun lunch date due to a flat tire (are you intrigued yet?). 

The Mountain on Monday

Wednesday night as I continued chipping away at the mulch mountain in the driveway I had to back my wife’s car out of the garage.  When I did I finally identified the tire that had been setting off a sensor light for the past week.  I like having the sensors in the tire that let you know when a tire is going flat (except when it’s the ingeniously concealed spare tire).  When the light first lit up a week ago I scientifically employed my tire gauge which involves the vigorous use of kicking the tires (literally).  This method failed to detect any low tire pressure so I surmised the damned spare tire was low again and could wait.  We then took several long trips with the car including the wife’s weekly all day drive to deliver meals on wheels.  In turns out my shoe leather tire gauge may need some calibration as when I backed the car out I noted the rear tire was dangerously low due to a stainless steel screw that had mated with it.

While this was not welcome news it did set up a chain of events culminating in not only the above mentioned reunion with my cell phone but also a lunch with my favorite Panamanian; more on that in a second.  I think the best tool anyone can possess is a portable tire inflator.  I stole this one from my son and am constantly using it for my riding lawn mower and its attachments, as well as the odd basketball or football.  Yesterday I used it to return the tire to drivable status and took her car into work since there’s a tire repair place few doors down from my office.

Everyone Should Own One of These

My wife was driving into Worcester with for a hair appointment so I was reticent about separating her from the navigation device.  She assured me that she could find the hair dresser with her eyes closed (not that we want to make the attempt in that fashion) so the vast sums of money spent there have not been totally wasted.  I was able to get the tire repaired quickly and when she called to report I had left my cell phone at home I asked her out to lunch following the cranial maintenance session.

The Rhino

We linked up for lunch but she declared the restaurant at the hairdresser place was not keto friendly so we set off down Shrewsbury Street in search of sustenance.  We ended up at the Flying Rhino Café and Watering Hole (great name there).  I’ve eaten there a few times and it never fails to over achieve.  If you’re ever in Worcester and looking for a great place for lunch – hit the Flying Rhino.  My lunch date was everything I needed in the way of sprit-lifting after a morning of soul sucking meetings.

My Devastatingly Beautiful Lunch Date

I returned home to administer a coup de grâce to the mulch mountain before the Bruins game started.  Buddy was forced to watch from inside due his recent spate of territorial integrity issues.  Another sign of spring, black flies, more than made up for his absence in the way of distractions.  I finished off the hill but discovered I’m going to need more.  My wife’s ruthless garden expansion program has upped the ante on mulch coverage so I was a couple yards short.

The Mountain Last Night

Then It Was Gone!
But Still Not Enough

The Bruins game was everything I hoped for.  They finally adjusted to Montreal’s style of play and imposed their will on the faster but less physically inclined Canadiens.  The result was a taut game with a lot of big hits but no scoring.  The Bruins seemed to have an internal bet on how many times they could hit the cross bar without actually putting the puck into the net.  I asked the wife for a vigorous stroke of the beard at the end of regulation time.  It culminated in a storybook ending with a young kid, Matt Fraser, just called up the day before from the minor leagues potting the game winning overtime goal.  This is what is so great about playoff hockey, even without any scoring, the game kept us on the edge of our seat throughout.  I say “we” because my wife watched the entire game with me.  You’ll no doubt be surprised to hear that hockey is not a huge sport in Panama but she was caught up in the emotion every bit as much as I was (well almost). 

We were also checking in on the NFL draft which was taking place at the same time.  My wife vowed to watch it this year after seeing the movie Draft Day.  I warned her there would be no Kevin Costner but she insisted (and who was I to argue).  It turned out she had been paying attention to the plot despite Costner’s screen presence and picked up on a lot of what was going on.  It helped that just like the movie we had a highly touted quarterback freefalling down the draft board and the Cleveland Browns bouncing up and down the board with a maniacal pace of trades. 

Who knew that a day that started out with a flat tire could turn out so well? 

Reality Amazing

I’m sparing you from the weekly photo of my son and I from our hump day lunch not through any altruistic sense.  The lunch had its usual medicinal qualities of sanity maintenance as I ponder the question how I was capable of raising such a fine young man.  The reason there is no photo today is that I forgot my cell phone at home and in testimony about how dependent we’ve all become on technology I feel a little lost without it.  It’s like I’m walking around with my fly open, unintentionally.  There’s already been three separate occasions when I reached for the phone to perform some routine action; entirely too dependent.

I finished my latest foray into Christopher Nuttall’s excellent sci fi series Reality Check which had a similar theme.  It’s set in the distant future with a galaxy wide human empire that’s crumbling under its own weight.  Earth is about the crash and burn (as seen in some of the other books in the series) when a group of highly dependent high school students win a contest to see one of the colony worlds.  Their adventures away from the bizarre earth culture and having to perform simple tasks were telling.  Nuttall’s a great read and I enjoyed this even if the body count was relatively miniscule next some of his other books.

There was nothing miniscule about The Amazing Spiderman 2 which was the object of our delayed date night movie last night.  I really enjoyed the first movie after approaching it wondering why it was needed so soon after the Toby Maguire efforts.  This second one is even better than the excellent first and getting more into the price paid by Spidy and his friends.  My son and I talked about it yesterday where he liked the mid-battle banter Spidy engages in which is more in line with his comic book personae. 

This kid Garfield can really act and Emma Stone is a lot of fun in whatever she chooses to do.  There’s obvious chemistry between the two but the scenes with Jaime Foxx make the movie.  It’s great that blockbuster summer movie doesn’t forget to include compelling stories and actual acting to go along with the special effects (although those were typically Marvel awesome).  Rare for a sequel to outdo its predecessor but here’s a case.