Words are Dangerous

For some reason yesterday I was thinking about the power of the spoken word, especially if spoken by a parent.  My wife and I were speaking with our son on the phone and a couple of times he used phrases that I know he got from me.  It caused me to reflect that at times I was not as circumspect as I should have been when my two kids were growing up.  As an infantry officer my work environment was not the most genteel and sometimes I brought that home with me.  I should have done better.  In reality though I can trace it back to my own parents who were both fairly high on the earthy scale when it came to salty language.  I can still clearly remember my mother making a statement to my sisters and I, all of us under ten years old, when she heard my father squealing the wheels of the car (he did that a lot) in a distant parking lot where he had gone to retrieve our car.  She stated, “Well, here comes John P. Madbastard!” I laughed so hard at the time and I still laugh every time I remember (I’m laughing right now).  So maybe it’s not such a bad thing, God knows we have enough political correctness as it is.  This remains one of my fondest memories of both my parents.  A little salt in the linguistic menu allows proper seasoning.  Infantry speak was probably a tad too far though, right off the jalapeno scale.

Love Actually!!!!

Lucky Guy on the Left

Not only the title of one of my favorite movies but decidedly the case for the young couple I mentioned in the blog about the NYC wedding.  I was talking with my daughter last night when she revealed that the dancing star from her wedding had popped the question to the young lady.  I could not be happier.  I don’t know the young man but the young lady was my daughter’s roommate for her first few years in New York and I think she’s one of the coolest people I know.  Of course the supply of cool people I know is somewhat limited but still, this guy better be up to the challenge of being worthy.  She and my daughter headed out six years ago with a loaded U-Haul truck, no jobs, and a dream of living in New York City.  They both have been roaring successes and I’ve always admired their courage to attempt/succeed at living their dream.  Congratulations – I’d like to think my inclusion of you in the blog had a relatively microscopic impact on reaching this point (every little bit helps) but I’ve always had an inflated opinion of my impact.  I’m just glad this guy realized what a treasure he was squiring around New York City.  On news of a supremely more mundane level my wife and I went to see Snow White and The Huntsman last night and it was . . . . ehhhh, okay.  I had high hopes for this based on the previews but it did not measure up.  I have to lay the blame (my wife certainly did) at the feet of Kristin Stewart, an actress I usually like.  She just was not up to the part and was dominated by every actor around her.  She seems to have permanently adopted the vulnerable, “rescue me” persona of the character she plays in those teeny bopper vampire flicks.  She certainly was not capable of carrying this movie’s most important scenes, which was required of her.  She is supposed to give this rip roaring speech to get everyone psyched up for a battle and even though it was scripted I was genuinely surprised that anyone agreed to follow her.  It’s a shame but the movie fails because of her.  Theron was at her routine awesomeness and Hemsworth continued his string of really good roles as the huntsman (I’d love to be his agent over the next few years).  I’m ready for the rain to stop around here, everything is really green, this is NEW England not the real England which over the past few weeks it seems like we’ve possessed the dreary weather of.

Cold, Rainy Wired Reading

Yesterday was as if we were transported back to March with a cold, rainy ,raw day.  I had given up wearing the jacket into work because it had been so hot.  Yesterday I froze my butt off in my office but at least my wife let me turn off the air conditioning at home.  I’ve finally started watching the series, The Wire, the entire series of which my son left with me and made me promise I would watch.  I’m only three episodes in so far and I’m not feeling it yet.  Everybody who’s watched it has nothing but glowing things to say about it so I’ll keep it up, at least one episode per day.  My wife hears all the swearing and just rolls her eyes at me.  I wish there were some characters that you could root for, maybe we’ll get there eventually.  I finished the third book in the Word and Void series from Terry Brooks, Angel Fire East, which was a satisfying end for this series of characters.  Brooks has a tendency to let his characters get themselves into all kinds of trouble through inaction which is frustrating for me.  He’s a good writer though and I really enjoyed this series.  I’m now back at the point where I’ve re-started reading the book, Armageddon’s Children, which sent me on this Brooksian quest a couple of weeks ago.  Another three books I’ll be totally caught up with the Shanarra universe.  I might be, at that point, ready for another venture into Palahniuk country, but only if the sun comes back out.

Happy Birthday for My Newest Son

Tattoos No Longer Hidden

Anyone who read this blog knows how proud I am of my two children; in my mind, justifiably.  A few years ago we added to that pantheon when my daughter met my future son in law.  I often tell a joke that my daughter has repeatedly told me is no longer funny (but what the hell).  I tell people that my daughter married every father’s dream – a rock musician.  The truth is I could not be happier with her choice; of course it helps that he’s a successful rock musician.  He led a very difficult childhood that would have marked a lesser man.  He emerged as a very centered, very caring, and extremely nice young man.  When we first met him I had all the sensors up because it was obvious that my daughter really liked him.  He came up for my 25^th wedding anniversary and it was an extremely hot day.  He volunteered to iron some table cloths for my wife and was wearing a long sleeve shirt in the oppressive conditions.  I finally asked my daughter what was going on and she sheepishly confided that he didn’t want to make a bad impression and that his arms were covered with tattoos.  My wife and I laughed because we had already checked him out on the internet and knew the extent of his “body art”.  This tale in indicative of his character though, he was trying to ease us gently into his courtship of our daughter.  For some reason I can never fathom, I intimidated some of my daughter’s earlier boughs.  I never felt that with this guy; although he did wait until he was touring in Japan before he dared tell me he planned on asking for our daughter’s hand.  Yesterday was his birthday and while we couldn’t be together, at least he was home long enough from touring that he was able to be with his wife.  I think one of a father’s worst fears is who a daughter will choose to marry.  As with most of her choices in life – she got this one extremely right.  Our lives are enriched by the addition of his presence – so Happy Birthday son, and thank you.

Saturday Traveling Party Show

Standing Between my Wife and Sister

Yesterday was spent crisscrossing Massachusetts to attend family parties.  Luckily it was raining heavily during the time we were driving so we had that going for us; I hate driving in the rain.  We started out with a birthday party for my younger sister’s grandson – that still sounds weird saying.  My sister, for her own reasons, decided to separate herself from contact for a couple of years.  I tried to respect her decision but I really missed her and I look forward to any opportunity to see her.  The party was about an hour and a half away near the city of Brockton.  I really enjoyed seeing my sister and talking with her son who is a genuinely nice guy whom I have also missed a great deal.  I liked the fact that he seemed very protective of his mother and was helping her out.  It was also interesting to see my sister’s two grandsons running around.  They both walk with their heels up in the air which is something of a family trait.  I did it as a kid and my son did also.  There was something very connective about seeing that in another generation.   We jumped back in the car and headed to the other side of the state to attend the graduation party for the daughter of a cousin.  Since we were passing by our house we stopped by and let Buddy out and had him run around a little.  He looked at me with a paralyzing expression of betrayal when I ordered him back into the cage.  We arrived late at the other party which was an additional hour past our house.  We settled into a great time of sitting around and just enjoying each other’s company.  A number of friends of my cousin’s kids were constantly coming and going over the evening which made for a lively crowd.  My cousin imbibed a little too much and was holding court displaying his command of Spanish to the delight of my wife.  His Spanish consisted solely of repeatedly bellowing, “Ayyi Chihuahua!” which in no way moderated his use of the expression.  By the end of the night I promised his son that we would leave so I could remove my wife from the scene who seemed to be enabling the behavior.  It was a truly fun time with a great crowd.  There is just something special about hanging out with cousins – I’m blessed with some of the best.

The Birthday Boy and His Loot

My Sister's Great Son and his Other Nephew

My Sister and Her Daughter

My Cousin Getting Ready to Launch Another "Ayii Chihuahua"
Next to my Apparently Bored Wife

The Lively Crowd at My Cousin's House

Lieutenancy Wingmen Reunited

My Friend and I Last Night

Last night was a whole lot of fun due to the visit of a good friend from my days as a lieutenant in Panama in 1981.  He and I were brand new infantry lieutenants in the same company for our first assignments as officers.  We arrived within a month of each other and shared a great number of adventures – many of which I cannot share here (c’mon, my kids read this blog).  We were both single guys working at the first job either of us had ever had with any kind of responsibility.  Our company commander was a great man, he eventually became an acclaimed general, but at that time he was turning us into soldiers, somewhat of a challenge.  We referred to the lieutenants who survived his rule as the graduates of his School for Lieutenants.  My friend was there when I met my wife and they were always good buddies as well.  He was at my side at my wedding.  We were together when he and I had to tackle and subdue a couple of very drunk soldiers wandering the company area causing trouble.  He left Panama after a very serious helicopter crash which left him with spinal fluid leaking out of his nose.  It’s a tribute to his toughness and drive that he fought back and continued his military career, eventually moving into special operations.  We have stayed remotely in touch over the years but had only seen each other twice over the thirty years.  He contacted me last week to say he was going to be in the area this week and we planned to get together.  We took him out for pizza at Zorbas and then just hung out and swapped memories from that seminal time in both of our lives.  It was so nice to be able to relive those days.  We both admitted that we probably couldn’t get out of work at 11pm, head downtown and party until 4am, then get up for physical training at 5:30 for several weeks in a row anymore (remember the kids are reading).  It talks to the bond forged in our youth that we were able to pick up the friendship seamlessly after 30 years.  We pledged to track down the remaining members of the school of lieutenants and hold some sort of reunion.  I think my wife still has illusions about fixing one of her sisters up with one of the other lieutenants.  Some things never change. 

My Friend and Wife Last Night

Me (left) and My Friend in Panama 1983

My Freind and I at my Wedding 1982, Wow, I look Scared

The School of Lieutenants 1983, My Friend on Far Left, Me on Far Right,
My Wife's Future Brother In Law Next to My Friend

Newspaper – To Buy or Not to Buy

I’ve written earlier in this blog that mine will be the last generation to read the newspaper; something that would have seemed absurd just a few years ago.  I still get the daily Worcester newspaper.  It’s part of my early morning routine – Buddy and I walk down to the road and pick up the paper.  Well to be honest, I’m the only one walking – Buddy is charging around investigating the inroads squirrels have made in his absence and generously watering sundry plants.  I actually like reading the paper while everything else in the house is quiet (except Buddy).  The bill for the newspaper arrived yesterday and I’m really struggling with whether to continue or nor.  This has happened each of the last few times the bill has arrived.  As with most people I get a lot of my news from the internet and television.  While I bemoan this transition and the superficiality of a lot of the news transmitted this way I think I have to bow to the future.  I’ve also noted a steady decline in the quality of the writing in newspapers.  I think a lot of the best writers read the writing on the wall years ago and departed for outlets with a more promising future.  I know my brother in law did so.  He was the editor for a respected sports section in a large Metropolitan newspaper and had stated for years he was in a dying industry.  A couple of years ago he left for an internet sports site and has never been professionally happier – he feels relevant again.  The writers or more probably the editors left behind do not seem up the task of carrying the interest of readers such as me.  I worry about this because democracy depends on a well informed electorate and if we are getting our news only from TV and the internets – we could be headed for danger.  People would actually have to seek out the news instead of reading as part of a morning ritual such as mine.  I have confidence we, as a people, are smart enough to figure out a way to make this work.  I think I’ve made my decision, melancholy though it is.  I’ll miss my daily morning adventures with Buddy but the squirrels certainly won’t.