Midnight Riding

This area is justifiably famous for one of the most chronicled late night rides in history. Mine, last night, was decidedly less noteworthy. It was the culmination of a long day featuring hosta assassination drills, implanting mums, some lawn work which laid the basis for a thunder run north to my hometown to continue the celebration of Keene Friend’s 71^st birthday. My Favorite Panamanian decided that her shopping forays earlier in the week had denuded her Keene hunting grounds, so she would stay at home. I’ve been married long enough to realize there would be a price to be paid if I ignored the garden work I had ill-advisedly promised to accomplish for her earlier in the week.

Yesterday at the Lab, Before CRC Arrival

Each fall the many hostas that liberally grace her vast garden complex start to die off with yellowing leaves. This means they have to be cut off and hauled up the back yard hill for composting. That’s usually a major pain in the butt because any self-respecting hosta has a lot of leaves hanging to the ground. My wife’s constant perusal of Pinterest produced a new technique where a rope is placed around all the stems and then tightened making it easy to cut them all at once. I grudgingly admitted it was a great idea. I improvised using some of the many bungee cords I had in the garage. Notice the use of the past tense there. My energetic cutting led to the demise of four of the bungee cords, but all the leaves got uphill. The green excised from the vast garden complex was replaced with the many mums she always imports for the harvest season. After those were dug in, she admitted I was cleared to head north (after mowing the lawn).

Birthday Boy and Lady

The birthday celebration was organized by another of our high school classmates who, for some unknown reason, decided the Lab ’n Lager would be an appropriate venue. I know. I know. She and her husband joined us there where we were joined in short order my Keene Friend’s lady, who stopped in before heading across Main Street for her security officer gig. Another classmate, the hilarious CRC, answered the siren call to the Lab and joined us for the second half of the celebration. Unexpectedly, the Lab was fairly quiet for an autumnal Saturday. We tried our best to add some decibels by laughing a lot. Keene Friend scored his free birthday pizza which he augmented with way too many chicken wings. We felt honor bound to insure all this food was appropriately addressed.

It was a very fun afternoon hanging with friends and celebrating one of the truly nicest guys in the world. Our only failure was to not place our usual well lubricated call to the PCR, but he was probably hanging out at his golf course, so there’s that. Keene Friend and I returned to his house after the Lab and prepared to watch a hyped college football game. I made the mistake of lying down to watch the game and promptly fell asleep for about twenty minutes (see above – a very long day). That proved problematic though when it came time to actually go to sleep for the night. I’m weird that way. If I get any extended “nap” time during the day, insomnia raises its ugly head at bedtime. Keene Friend had long since gone upstairs for bed (as he is not similarly cursed) while I sat, wide awake in his living room.

I tried every technique I knew to sleep but I knew it was pointless as I remained wide awake without an inkling of drooping eyes. I kept at it for a couple hours and then decided if I wasn’t asleep by 2am, that I would drive home, putting the insomnia to useful purpose. That worked out well as I pulled into the garage around 315am, still wide awake. I had been very law abiding in my passage over the deserted highways, not wanting to tempt any bored late night law enforcement types. My next challenge was entering the house without scaring my sleeping wife, since she had given me strict orders not to try anything dumb, like driving back at night after an afternoon at the Lab. I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t completely sober by that point, eight hours after my last adult beverage. The garage opening didn’t waken her so I decamped to the Man Cave to wait out the insomnia. I finally go to that point around 430am, and, in a huge surprise, my Favorite Panamanian treated me like a returning hero, actually happy to see me. Paul Revere never had to worry about these things.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------RECURRING CHARACTERS:

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete – my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn; Czech Connection – Czech couple who’ve become good friends along with their daughter (the Czech Shadow); Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Seis Amigos - two couples from our condo complex and my wife and I; Soxfather – my brother-in-law (whom I miss more than I can ever explain); Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Upstairs Neighbors – American couple and great friends who live in condo above us in Panama; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course