Aged Reality

Trust me. I’ve heard it all about getting old, especially once I finally admitted to myself that I was. Getting old. One of the symptoms of advancing age is reflection. Reflection that is amplified by the social media stream aimed squarely at our demographic. You get that feeling when you watch the evening news (yes some of us still do that) and all the commercials are pharmaceutical related. My “kids” just smile good naturedly when I start circling the television around 6pm. They get their news instantly from the electromagnetic spectrum but I think we’ve lost something in that transition since now it’s a race to get the story up on the net before it can be verified. Journalistic integrity, for what it ever was, seems to be a vanishing, if not eradicated, characteristic.

I find myself almost pummeled by scam artists who must have a conduit to ascertain who is a senior citizen. Of course, it could be as simple as anyone who (guilty) still has a land line telephone must be old. One of our most frequent callers on that landline is a guy called “Spam Risk”. Never heard of him, so we don’t answer those calls. On both my Favorite Panamanian’s and my email accounts receive no less than twenty targeted emails daily for products aimed at the aged. I’ve finally convinced her not to open anything with an attachment. It was not an easy fight, especially for garden or religious oriented products (curse those algorithms).

I can understand our attractiveness to the scammers. With the kids out of the house for many years and the grandkids so far away that my wife almost isn’t shopping for them every day, we find ourselves more financially secure than at any other point in our lives. We can afford a lot of the junk these hucksters are trying to purvey into our lives. I am the proud owner of a new placard with our house number on it. I’m still trying to figure out how I made that purchase (Amazon can be very devious) but it looks good. I’ve added a new front door and gutters to the house this year, not so much that they were needed but that I could afford it and why not. I’m not sure I could have if the grandkids lived any closer.

We had a very busy day yesterday. My Favorite Panamanian volunteered to cook a meal for a family in our church whose son is going through a serious health crisis. That’s who she is. She prepared the meal around her yoga class and supervising my efforts to water her vast garden complex. I just realized. I am one of those old guys you drive by on your way to work who is out watering the lawn! Guess I’ll have to own it. We took in a movie yesterday as well (special senior citizen Wednesday discount!) for date night and saw Police Squad. Liam Neeson is perfectly cast as the new Frank Drebbin (offspring of the hilarious Mr. Nielson). His seriousness is exactly what is needed for the over-the-top silliness required. This was a new take on the rampant absurdity of the original and it missed some of the truly hysterical bits of the first generation plied by the Airplane guys. Of course this was the first time a cinematic threesome with a snowman is attempted, so there’s that. It turns out Pamela Anderson can act, who knew, and she’s a great foil as the love interest. This is a movie I’ll see again to pick out all the subtle jokes I missed because I was laughing so hard. A nice, senseless comedy when you need a good laugh.

Five movies fell in the A-Z watch, four keepers: Rollerball (2002 version) – you know a movie is bad if it contains a lot of nudity and violence and I’m still kicking it out; Ronin – just a great spy movie, so well done; Rudy – sappy but still heartfelt sports story; Run All Night – awesome NYC crime story with Neeson and Harris just chewing up the scenery; The Rundown – early Rock action film that plays well.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------RECURRING CHARACTERS:                                

ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete – my daughter in law; BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3; BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; CRC - Connecticut Riverboat Captain – another close friend from high school, renowned sailor of the big river; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn; Czech Connection – Czech couple who’ve become good friends along with their daughter (the Czech Shadow); Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter; First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd Musquetera (musketeer); Namesake Nephew – son of Great Aunt and Soxfather named after me; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; PCR - Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; PCR+1 - Pittsburgh College Roommate’s wife; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; Seis Amigos - two couples from our condo complex and my wife and I; Soxfather – my brother-in-law (whom I miss more than I can ever explain); Tia Loca – wife’s younger sister; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course