Scoured

I finished my latest exercise in crisis cleaning in preparation for today’s return of my Favorite Panamanian. As stated earlier, I’ve taken a newer stance, trying to keep the place in relatively good order during her absences. There is no way I’ll ever reach the cleanliness levels she achieves and I’ve given up trying to reach that august standard. I did get into upholstery cleaning by removing a spot from the living room couch that dated back to the FBR’s Christmas efforts. I figured that was extra credit and couldn’t hurt; well that and the requisite roses.

I learned a valuable lesson in shower glass cleaning as well. It is important to take your socks off. Scrubbing Bubbles do not take prisoners. After cleaning up after that mini-debacle I was able to return the new shower enclosure to nearly pristine condition which is important because my wife has never seen it as it was installed after she flew south. It reinforced a generally held opinion that soap residue sucks. It reflects just how long we’ve been married and why we’ve reached the thirty seven years mark. I’m a slob by nature and am okay with a little clutter. I clean because it’s hugely important to my wife and in reality a very small concession to do the right thing. Love isn’t all about spoken words (which is good because that’s not my strongest suit).

The hardest part of cleaning is having to live in the place afterwards. I always accuse my wife of trying to institute what I call “Museum Living Rules”. Meaning that nothing can be touched or moved or, heaven forbid, cluttered. I now understand her stance since I found myself tip toeing around the house last night not wanting to thwart my efforts. Predictably I ended up in my lone sanctuary – the Man Cave. I watched a movie my daughter recommended, First Reformed. It was definitely not what the doctor ordered and way out of my usual comfort zone. The artistry couldn’t be denied but it was certifiably depressing. I plugged in an action movie right after it concluded because I needed some serious escapist fare which probably means First Reformed is a good movie. Just don’t watch it without some Zoloft handy.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS                                           

BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rdmusquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting arrival of the BRS; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Deckzilla Dude – senior citizen carpenter/contractor; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues