Shoppe Escape

Radiant BRS

In what has developed into an almost surreal week I found myself in the Christmas Tree Shoppe last night with my Favorite Panamanian. Those of you who know me well understand that I view that situation as akin to the sixteenth level of hell. I hate shopping on a fundamental level while I’m married to the polar opposite of that sentiment. Early on in our marriage we figured it was safest if I do not accompany her on any shopping foray. So how did I end up in this most dire of environments (we’re talking Christmas Tree Shoppe here)?

Renovation Progress 

Bathroom Tiling

Future Shower

Deckzilla Dude is finishing up his bathroom tiling and needed a few more bullnose tiles to complete the job today. When I returned to the local store to get the needed tiles they had been cleaned out. The clerk said the nearest store that had the specific tiles was in Westborough, about fifteen miles away. I told my wife this over dinner and my usually geographically challenged wife immediately glommed on to the fact that my destination was in close proximity to her favorite hunting ground – you guessed it – The Christmas Tree Shoppe.

Happiest Part of Shoppe Visit - The Exit

This is where my wife’s flashing brown eyes, her most devastating weapon, came into play and I was helpless. To her extreme credit she took pity on me and didn’t feel the need to touch every single item in the store and I was able to escape with a modicum of sanity remaining. It was a touch and go calculation in that regard. We returned home where my wife continued her week long battle against Dude induced dust threatening to tarnish her hard work at decorating the house for the holidays.

Tree is Up and I'm Dismissed after Lights Are in Place

In Order to Achieve Acceptable Results

The Obligatory Nativity Scene

Prior to departing on this heinous journey we were able to speak with both granddaughters. It is so cool that the FBR now understands Christmas is something to get excited about and seeing that anticipatory joy is almost rejuvenating. In our other call we were lucky enough to see her cousin’s reaction when the BRS spotted her mommy walking in the door after work. There was an immediate radiant smile as she reached out for the ABFA. As soon as the ABFA had her winter coat off the BRS found her favorite snuggling spot. This is the best kind of homecoming and I remember how much it meant to have either of my kids come running up to me when I returned home from a long day at work.

I retired to the safe confines of the Man Cave to recover from the Shoppe experience and scared the living hell out of myself. My kids have recommended watching the Haunting of Hill House on Netflix and I’m now about halfway through after watching two episodes last night. I’m not sure I’m going to watch any more of this alone, at night, in a darkened basement. I could almost feel the imagined monsters of my youth reaching out for me from the dark.

Some More BRS Radiance to Lift your Day

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RECURRING CHARACTERS

BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involed in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rdmusquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting arrival of the BRS; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Deckzilla Dude – senior citizen carpenter/contractor; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues