Shopping Vengeance

Yesterday was supposed to be a recovery day for the PanaGals after the tumultuous storming of New York City.  The PanaGals were not about to miss out on a shopping opportunity though, especially after depriving themselves of so many in NYC.  They had a need to exact their revenge on the mercantile system which had been denied their advances in that Mecca of shopping.  They cajoled my wife into a “brief” shopping excursion before joining me in Worcester where we’d invited them to meet some of the people I work with at our weekly First Friday celebration.

The Porch Lattice

I was engaged with yard work and the difficult task of finding a turkey in August.  A few years ago I installed a lattice underneath our front wrap around porch.  It turned out better than I could have hoped given my lack of carpentry skills.  I made one error which was not installing an easy access door to get behind the latticework.  Since my wife’s verdant gardens keep trying to expand under the porch and behind the lattice I need to get in there periodically.  As an afterthought I left an access way underneath the front steps that any twelve year old boy could negotiate with ease.  For those of you who don’t know me – I’m a bit larger than the average 12 year old.  I contortioned myself in there yesterday and emerged with a huge amount of vines and even a couple of respectable sized trees (it had been a while).  Buddy’s nemeses, the squirrels have been planting acorns there which had sprouted into oak trees.

I was coming out begrimed from my first extended low crawling in years to find the PanaGals fully equipped for their shopping expedition.  I confirmed with them they had about four hours until we were supposed to meet in Worcester.  Their non-committal assurances did nothing to assuage my doubts.  My next mission was the turkey; or as it was shortly to be classified – the damned turkey.  I’ve developed something of a rep down in Panama for the turkeys I prepare for Christmas dinner and my wife always offers to have me make one when the PanaGals visit (she’s thoughtful that way).

The problematic element is that very few grocery stores stock turkeys in the middle of August.  I’m guessing they are not common fare for a summer barbecue as they nervously await the onslaught of November and Thanksgiving.  I am the exact opposite from the PanaGals when it comes to shopping so I was less than thrilled moving from grocery store to grocery store trying to find the elusive bird.  I made it all the way to Connecticut with no luck.  Since it was now time to head to Worcester I coordinated with the wife and said I would look in Worcester after Brew City.  She didn’t sound confident about the prospects of moving the PanaGals away from one of their patented shopping frenzies to join us.

I had a great time at Brew City catching up with friends from work and apologizing for the absence of the promised PanaGals.  Once I confirmed with the wife that she was fully engulfed with the frenzy I sat back and enjoyed the company.  After Brew City I even found the turkey; actually it’s two since they only sold the smaller version, but any bird in the storm, sort to say.

The next event on the dance card was a pizza dinner at Zorba’s followed by Ronnie’s ice cream.  I returned to an empty home and my wife was no longer answering my text questions about their status (more than fully engulfed at this point).  Three hours later they finally returned after a text message saying I was going to Zorba’s without them.  They were appropriately apologetic but could not hide their giddiness from the extended shopping spree.  Zorba’s was Zorba’s which is to say - excellent.  The PanaGal everyone else was pointing out as the ringleader of the shopping frenzy even offered to pay for the dinner.  Her card was declined (I think because it was non-US) though.  I opined that the card was probably just tired from its efforts over the past week.

The Exhausted PanaGals at Zorba's

We emerged from Zorba’s much too late for ice cream since Ronnie’s had closed more than an hour before.  Since I now required a designated driver I was powerless to stop them from continuing down Route 20 to the nearest shopping center.  My wife needed to pick up a few things for today’s going away party but I was nervous because there was a series of other shops (including the dreaded shoe store) in the same shopping plaza. My life flashed in front of my eyes as they hungrily eyed the stores.  They found some exquisite mercy in their hearts and contented themselves with the grocery store.