Jumping at the Conclusion

My educatory weekend continued well into Sunday night and early Monday morning.  I learned that my couch was not meant to be jumped upon, but more on than later. 

The day began with a little controversy.  I prepared for my weekly Sunday afternoon of slack jawed amazement of the glory that is the NFL Red Zone when I could not find my favorite lounge pants.  I am reluctant to assume couch potato position #1 without this most suitable of garb.  For some reason my wife does not share my fascination with these loud yellow, but extremely comfortable trousers while I’ve come to think of myself as a minor fashion explosion.  Their missing status led me to accuse her of consigning them to wherever all my favorite t-shirts end up whenever they sprout their inevitable first hole.  She feigned, I mean claimed, innocence and the pants magically reappeared.

My Awesome Lounge Pants in Couch Potato Position #1
I'm Sitting Where I Should Not Have Been Jumping (see below)

Buddy was prepared for another afternoon of football as he ran ahead of me and established residency in Couch Potato position #1.  After a short discussion (I might have mentioned the word “SQUIRRELS!”) he graciously allowed me to sit down.  To my ultimate horror the Red Zone did not appear as required. 

Buddy Awaiting My Arrival for Football Viewing

I got a white screen promising it would appear at 1pm, since it was already 1:15pm I checked outside for signs of an impending apocalypse.  I logged on to the cable company’s and red zone’s web sites with no resolution.  I tried an email to my cable company which said I was not properly asking one of their pre-loaded questions, panic set in.  I was making my way through the interminable phone tree of the cable company when the Red Zone miraculously appeared and peace was restored to the galaxy.  I think I can get credit with the doc for a stress test.

The Day's Big Stressor - Photo Taken at 1:25pm

All of this paled to the battle last night between the Patriots and the Broncos – the latest match up between Tom Brady and Peyton Manning.  I was happy to see the wind swirling and the temperatures dipping.  While Peyton is an absolute juggernaut inside a dome or in good weather, he’s a real “Nancy-Boy” when it comes to harsh winter conditions.  Brady on the other hands tends to thrive.  I saw the warm ups and could tell Manning was having a really hard time with the conditions, in a harsher crowd I might mention that his female parts seem to be hurting. 

So all was set up for a decisive Patriot’s win except the football gods can be harsh with over confidence.  The Patriots’ coughed up the ball repeatedly and even though Manning struggled they were soundly beating the Pats at half-time 24-0, it was embarrassing.  My wife was doing some sewing and politely asked why I was no longer communicating with her.  I’m guessing she thought my response was less than polite.

I was rationalizing that at least I would get a full night sleep when the second half started and the Patriot’s showed up in force.  Brady laid a smack down on the preening Denver defense that wilted under the onslaught.  By the end of the third quarter the Patriots were within striking distance and the look on Manning’s face was worth the price of admission by itself.

The Manning Face - Hey Peyton - Think You Have Enough Snivel Gear On?

The game went into overtime and Monday but there was no way I was giving up on the game.  When the last Patriot’s drive seemed to fail and they lined up for a punt I resigned/hoped for at least a tie.  Then the football gods showed up again when old friend Welker showed his true colors. 

Sweet!! Thank You Wesley - Nice to See You Contributing Again to a Patriots' Win

I was roundly criticized by friends (especially a certain Cantankerous One) because I wasn’t upset when the Patriots let Welker leave after last season.  I still held Saint Wesley responsible for a Super Bowl loss when he dropped a crucial pass that would have sealed the win.  I felt completely vindicated when he dropped two important passes last night but the best came as the punt headed his way late in overtime.  Instead of catching the punt he wimped out and failed to warn teammates away.  The ball hit one of them; the Patriots recovered and kicked a game winning field goal. 

Thank You Mr Brady - The reports of Your Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

It sucked that such a great game ended in this way but it was proof that Welker’s pucker factor is still a problem.  Now as to the lesson I learned about jumping on the couch.  When the ball bounced off the Bronco’s leg I jumped up on the couch and started yelling.  Buddy, confused jumped up with me.  This caused me to lose my balance and head backwards.

There comes a point in a situation like this that you know you’re going to fall and you start assessing ways to minimize the upcoming pain.  I was able to execute an extremely rusty parachute landing fall (first in over two decades) behind the couch although I did forget the part of tucking in my elbows (just a flesh wound).  The hardwood (they're not kidding) floor was a little softer than a dry season Panamanian Drop Zone (but not much).  I didn’t care at this point because the Patriots won.  My wife opined that I was probably too old to execute these type gyrations.  As with most things, she’s probably right, but what a great game.