The Assembly

Yesterday was the start of a long holiday weekend so of course that meant a perilous drive through the wilds of Connecticut to retrieve my daughter and son in law.  They’re joining us for the long weekend which is the best news in a long time.  They’ve also invited a bunch of their awesome NYC crowd to come up as well.

I know Connecticut is setting me up for a big fall eventually because I set a new record in getting to New Haven.  The record was needed due to a wife that once again validated her time challenged credentials.  We pulled up to the train station just as my daughter walked out.  The drive back was a little more challenging but once again, without major traffic jam.  I know I’m being set up.

The Group at Zorba's

We paid an early call to Zorbas where everybody except me had pizza.  I assuaged my grief with one of Zorba’s signature pieces of prime rib.  My son in law is the keto guru so I’m going to have to question him about the pizza.  My wife insisted on a window table which meant she could demonstrate her prowess at fly killing.  I think she ended dinner with a body count of four.

We returned home to watch the Red Sox game and swap stories while my wife worked like a Trojan preparing the food for today’s get together.  We’re hoping friends will gather to celebrate the first Saturday of the week, including my sisters and Keene Friend.  

Demon Eyed Buddy and My Electric Pants

I also debuted my electric yellow lounge pants which were received with notable acclaim.  Buddy was all over the guests.  We had to wait until almost midnight for the final group to arrive.  They also brought a French bulldog named Riggins to provide Buddy with some company.  Buddy was ecstatic with the friend whom he promptly tried to hump into the floor.  He’s at that socially awkward age.  Looks like a fun weekend ahead now that Connecticut traffic is behind us, at least until Monday.  

The Gangs All Here!

Identity Trip

Yesterday I took the day off from work in order to renew my wife’s military ID card.  We noticed a couple weeks ago that it was set to expire shortly so we had to renew otherwise she would be dropped from the military system, including medical care.  She happily realized this meant another crack at shopping in Newport, RI and invited another member of the local chapter of the Panamanian mafia to accompany us.

Wife Renewing

I really enjoy hanging out with this member’s husband who is about as funny as they come; comparing notes about living with middle aged Panamanian women is a favorite topic.  We made our way to the fog bound Newport and waited thirty five minutes while the military bureaucracy slowly plodded through this routine transaction.  It’s nice to see some things haven’t changed.  They did apologize profusely when they noticed the retired colonel rank.  Re-entering the military world, even briefly, even with the Navy causes twinges in my soul.   There’s the siren call that this is where I’m supposed to be and why am I trying to masquerade as a civilian.  Maybe it was just getting saluted at the gate. 

My Friend Competing on the Wii, His Wife Not That Impressed

Once we obtained the new ID card we then moved to the next, coveted (for half of the party anywise) phase of the operation – shopping.  We hit both the commissary and the base exchange.  This free ID card was starting to get fairly expensive.  I wandered the exchange while the more qualified shoppers ravaged the landscape.  I did end up with a new blazer courtesy of my wife and a new pair of very loud yellow, lounge pants selected by myself.  I did mention my complete lack of fashion sense, right?  I walked around a corner and found my friend performing a dance competition in front of the Wii in the toy section. He achieved a respectable score and two 12 year girls watching from behind stated that he was pretty good.  He seemed inordinately pleased when I reported this. 

Lunch Destination

We left the base, ostensibly for lunch, but knowing we were heading towards more fertile shopping grounds since the military environment had been completely picked over.  We headed back to Busker’s, my favorite Newport hangout.  Usually I get to remain in the bar while the wife performs the required shopping foray.  Since this was a double date sort of situation, my friend and I were forced to accompany our wives into the vortex.  

Our Friends in Buskers

The Wife and I Across the Table

Luckily the weather, while gloomy, did not include rain and made for excellent people watching.  We spent some time sitting on benches outside various shoe and jewelry stores to watch the late summer Newport crowd amble by.  We ended up down by the harbor in a pier full of shopping venues as well as bars which was a lot of fun, although I would never admit that to the shoppers, our wives.  My wife concluded the foray with a bowl of ice cream, which was painful to watch from my keto perch. 

Wandering the Streets of Newport



I Tried Unsuccessfully to Tie Her to the Anchor to Prevent Shopping
She Was not to be Denied

Any Day that Ends with Ice Cream Cannot be Bad

While making my way through the afternoon I received a text, of all things, from my daughter referencing an earlier e-mail she sent me.  I had to perform certain bakery related tasks for the weekend that cannot be revealed at this time.  Luckily her years long quest to educate me in technology was sufficient to accomplish the task, kind of scary.  I must really be a civilian now.

Mortal Win

Yesterday was a meeting at the new Hub with a collection of the voices of inappropriate value.  I dreaded this with a white hot passion and promised to be on my best behavior.  It turned out to be a good learning experience.  The political leadership I have more than a little disdain for called the meeting.  He handled the meeting with a lot of aplomb.  By the end of the meeting he had them eating out of his hand which approached startling.  I guess I’m not too old to learn something.  I don’t think it’s anything I could do though.

Since there were two movies out this week I wanted to see my wife surprised me again by agreeing to see a movie about demon hunters, Mortal Instruments:  City of Bones.  I think she must have guessed it wouldn’t really be about demons that much but more about teenage angst and metro-sexual incest (no, I’m not kidding).  The lead character’s sole function in life seemed to be wander around pointlessly and put her friends in mortal danger.  A big disappointment because it was advertised as action packed and wasn’t so much.

The disappointment was compounded when we came out of the theater to find the Red Sox losing to Baltimore after pummeling them the night before.  I took a bit out of the bullet when we got home and sat down to watch the last couple innings.  Once again this Sox team proved to be so resilient, rallying for two runs to tie the game and then go ahead with a bloop hit that had no business falling in.  This Sox team is special.  Disappointment was eradicated in no uncertain terms. 

Yeah!!!!!

Fashion Apocalypse

Yesterday I dutifully donned my uniform of the day.  As I’ve written about before, my wife has absolved/prohibited me from making any personal fashion decisions.  This is assuredly a very good thing because I am not exactly adept at making clothing choices – leaning towards comfort instead of style.  Clothes that she doesn’t approve of end up donated or mysteriously disappear.  She decides what clothes I wear to work each day.

She states this is because people who see me looking less than presentable will judge her, not me.  As in, what kind of wife lets her husband out in public looking like that?  Yesterday no less than six different people, including a couple guys at the barber shop, complimented me on the shirt my wife had provided.  I hurriedly explained to each that my wife was to blame for the reasons listed above.

The Shirt that Drew So Much Attention

My wife had a sense of accomplishment when I reported this.  She did want to know the personal histories and dating status of all the women who complimented me though.  Her pride only goes so far. 

We were puttering around in the basement last night and I spied a three piece, pin striped suit my mother bought for me back in the early 1970s.  I tried it on just to show my wife I could fit into it again with the weight I’ve lost.  It had been over two decades since I could fit into it and she looked horrified when it once again fit.  I’ll see if I can find some old photos of the suit.  She’s now afraid I’ll want to wear it somewhere public.  I’ll have to check the clothes donation bags carefully; a lot of good 1970s memories associated with that suit. 

Last night was date night and we returned to a Worcester theater to mix things up a bit.  We saw the latest Simon Pegg/Nick Frost epic – The World’s End, the third of their joint efforts.  I was afraid my wife wouldn’t like it because it was very British (they talk too fast for her) and it promised the usual compliment of profanity.  She ended up loving it which is testimony to just how funny these two Brits are.

Pegg plays the low life this time as he gathers childhood friends for a memorable pub crawl back in their hometown which has been inconveniently taken over by robotic aliens.  This leads to a hilarious chase towards an apocalyptic finish line.  There are so many one line zingers that I know I’m going to have to see this again just to catch the ones I know I missed.  A very funny movie and very British. 

Had Lunch With This Guy Yesterday - He Rocks! As Usual

Engulfed in the Storm

Yesterday was D-day for the weekday version of all the schedule changes.  That meant a day spent down at the hub explaining the changes to our loving customer base.  I was engulfed for the entire day with a social strata I am not normally exposed to and I loved it.

These are some truly interesting people who look at life from an entirely different, and at times, fascinating perspective.  I talked football with some and metaphysics with another (I think that’s what it was). 

The Morning Crowd

One of the voices of inappropriate value cornered me for a tortuous twenty minutes where I finalized my personal verdict for her – severe cognitive issues.  I also learned the source of her in depth knowledge of the bus system - she is “dating” one of the worst bus drivers we have.   

Our First Fully Electric Bus Coming in From its First Trip Ever

One of the few people who actually used the cross walk fell down and sprayed the crowd with ice coffee.  I went over to find out why we had a guy sprawled on the ground.  He was surrounded by the coffee soaked crowd and was trying to get up and asking for assistance.  One of those “I’ve fallen and can’t get up” moments.  Everyone in the crowd refused to help because they were afraid of getting sued – like I said – an entirely different perspective.

I asked the guy if he wanted help and he admitted he was more embarrassed than hurt and needed to get up to make his bus.  I helped him to his feet while everybody around started to explain to him why they didn’t help.  Off he went to his bus and job at a local deli – I might avoid that place in the future. 

The Afternoon Bunch

All in all it was a good day.  The schedule changes worked exactly as designed.  Some people will never be happy but the entire tone of the conversation down there has changed, amazing.  This is one of the reasons I enjoy working in Worcester – really exotic denizens.

Speaking of exotic denizens, I accidently re-read one of my favorite author’s, John Ringo, book Eye of the Storm.  His stuff is finally on the kindle net and I ordered this thinking I hadn’t read it but fifty pages in realized that I had. 

I guess this is another sign of aging because I can see not remembering a title but taking fifty pages is a bit troubling.  I love Ringo’s battle scenes which are amongst the most compelling I’ve ever read.  He’s obviously spent time in uniform because his description of unit dynamics are always spot on.  This is a book spent setting up a climatic end to his Legacy of the Aldenata series and its fun to finally have the Darhel back on their heels.  Unfortunately too much time is spent getting into excruciating detail on some of the background which is not Ringo’s strength; this was probably needed to flesh out the book to proper size. Ringo is so popular now that editors must have much less impact.  Luckily the battle scenes are worth wading through the rest of it.

Downsizing Complete

Yesterday was the day I faced the task of confronting my wife’s overconfidence in my carpentry abilities.  She decided the kitchen stools were too tall and despite my stated opinion that the real problem was that she was too short it was decreed that I would be shortening the stool legs.

I tried to explain that this was not as simple as it sounded.  I have a tendency to brag, at least to her, about how adept I am at home repair.  This time it came back to haunt me as she blithely declared I should be able to do it with ease.  She didn’t want to hear about the problems of cutting off the legs when two were straight and the other two curved.  She simply declared that it must be done. 

Over Friday beer I discussed the issue with my excellent boss.  He had a good idea about using a line level, something I’d never used before but at this point I was desperate for ideas.

I headed downstairs yesterday with the stools and told my wife that she could not hold me responsible for the results (unless they were good).  I spent the better part of an hour figuring out the best way to use the line level, tying a string around all four legs to ensure the cuts would be straight. 

First Victim, err, Stool Being Measured For Cutting

When I placed the first stool in position for cutting I felt like an executioner approaching his victim.  Well nothing ventured, nothing gained and away the blade flew.  That was the easy part.  When I finished the first stool one leg was a little longer than the others so, in a slightly panicked mode, I used the saw the trim a little bit more off that leg.  If there’s a patron saint for fools he must have been looking down on me because it came out perfect.  My wife was happy, I was a hero, albeit a very relieved one. 

First Stool Poised for the Cut - Significant Prayers Going On At This Point

I spent just as much time measuring the second one. Since it came out perfect, size wise I just used the cut off ends as a template for the next two.  I think I’m going to cut down on the bragging for a while; it gets me into fixes like this. 

First One Complete! Next To Its Now Taller Brothers

My Wife Sitting in the Now Shorter Stools
Buddy Approves Because Food Will be Lower

The Aftermath - Pay No Attention to the Fact Some Pieces Are Longer than Others

Party In L.A.

I spent the rest of the day cutting the lawn, finishing driveway repairs, and forgetting to make needed phone calls.  I think I was mentally exhausted from the tension of holding the fate of my wife’s kitchen furniture in my undeserving hands.  The Red Sox, those phoenix-like, lovable rag bags helped finish the day by pummeling the pretty boys from L.A.  A good day (thank God!). 

Driveway Repairs

 

Rescue Mission

Yesterday dawned with a truly unprecedented (at least for this summer) event – my wife and I had nothing on our dance card.  Nature hates a vacuum so events coalesced into a really fun day.  I started out by torturing Buddy the Wonder Pooch.  I’ve discovered that since I’ve lost the weight recently I can now out run him (at least inside the house).  He accepts that my son can routinely outrun him but this was a new experience.  He didn’t handle it well.  My wife came downstairs to find him furiously barking at me while I laughed uncontrollably. 

My wife headed out for her monthly hair ritual – calling it styling would be a gross understatement.  I mentioned that I might go shopping for a new snow blower (see earlier winter posts about the reason this is needed).  She administered a stiff warning that I was not to go shopping without her – apparently she considers this as firmly within her sphere of influence and did not want me wandering around without her acumen.  Obi Wan has spoken!

Driveway Cracks Sealed

I used the intervening time to perform the annual driveway crack sealing exercise.  A tour bus pulled up on the street to observe my effort.  I don’t remember selling tickets to the event but assiduously sucked in my gut for any obligatory photo ops.  The neighbors across the street had arranged the bus for some sort of big event so my ego took another hit.

The best news came in shortly thereafter when my sister called and noted our dance card status from earlier blog entries.  She and my most excellent brother in law decided the vacuum needed filling and suggested dinner at Chuck’s.  Awesome! 

A Fleet to Choose From

My wife returned from her ritualistic ministrations and guided me through the shopping experience.  We stopped at several places and there were lots of choices. In a move that will draw shocked incredulity from readers of the blog I decided to buy a Craftsman despite my winter long diatribe against Sears in general and their snow blowers specifically.  It simply had better features, my neighbor has one that he loves and that being several hundred dollars cheaper all combined to reach the decision.  The Sears people were actually very professional and helpful – color me shocked.  All I currently own is a receipt but the likelihood of using it for at least a couple weekends as I wait for delivery is limited.  I am so psyched I don’t have to go through the tractor mounting again! 

The Unexpected Choice - My New Toy

Continuing the day of shocking developments we arrived at Chuck’s on time only to learn that my sister had arrived early.  I quickly overcame the dismay at having my basic belief system rocked to its core and joined my brother in law at the bar.  I was ostensibly there to show him where our table was but we just had to ensure Uehara came in to preserve a Sox win in L.A.  It was the only way we were going to dine in peace.

There followed a typical dinner experience with my sister and brother in law.  In other words – I had a truly fantastic time.  I always leave these events savoring the time spent and last night was no exception.  There’s almost a short hand to our communication and they’re just so much fun to be around.  They did have some disturbing health news about one of his family which will require some combined prayers and hope, but this is life imposing its will on us.   

So Much Fun Last Night - Here Assembled - Some of Greatest People On Earth

The night, as with all these affairs, ended much too quickly as they had a significantly longer drive home than we did.  They had ably performed the rescue mission of filling the vacuum admirably.  These are the type of unplanned but eminently enjoyable times that make a life complete. 

My Wife and I Last Night - Blurriness of Photo Had Nothing to do
With Amount of Alcohol Consumed - Honest

Habitual Friday

We finally reached Friday after a week where the time seemed to crawl by.  Babysitting panicking politicians is not fun.  My most excellent boss and I headed for Brew City where our regular waitress showed up with our drink orders before we were fully settled into our seats.  At one point she leaned over to retrieve an empty glass from my boss saying excuse me while I grab your glass.  My boss made the comment you’re going to grab my what!!!!!!  Like I said, it’s been a long week.

My Date

I returned home to my favorite Panamanian and our weekly expedition to the fabulous Zorba’s.  I really like the fact that over the years my wife and I have become regulars.  It really feels like “our place”.  I do miss the pizza though, a lot. I defused that yearning with a healthy piece of prime rib, yeah!! My date was also kind of cute.

Well, Yeah!

I’ve now lived in the same place for eight years.  That had not happened since I left my childhood home for college.  I find I have to fight an almost urge to look for the next place to live.  I like this place but I know some changes are coming once we launch on the second home in Panama project.  This house is really too big for just the wife and I but there’s already so many memories that I’m hesitant to pull the trigger on actually looking for the next place.  I like being a regular. 

Another View of Downhill Construction Progress

 

Miscellani

Some random thoughts as I approach a fully unplanned weekend, well except for some Sunday stool leg cutting. 

Win - Win

Apparently things in Syria have really dissolved.  On the upside we have Hezbollah and Al Qaeda killing each other – no downside there. 

Prepare to Assume the Position

Private Manning, traitor, was finally sentenced for his crimes this week.  We all got to learn what a troubled young man he is.  He has filed for permission to be treated like a woman during his prison sentence.  I don’t think that will be a big problem once he meets his cell mate.  Reaping what is sown. 

You May Want to Hang on to That

The Patriots literally got their ass handed to them last night in Detroit.  That should bring them back to earth just in time to get ready for the regular season.  I wouldn’t want to be in a Foxboro film room this week.

I had to sit through one more hand wringing session with the politicians yesterday.  The architect of most of the pain still won’t acknowledge his responsibilities in creating the mess.  This weekend the changes go into effect that will hopefully fix it.   

Scary

Madonna has created yet another look for herself.  I guess looking like a demonic flesh eating corpse was what she was going for.  Yikes!

August is usually the month where all the bad summer movies come out but this year its been a bit of a surprise with some pretty good flicks.  Of course that could be more of a comment of the dearth of July quality this year.

So my randomized stream of consciousness is now sated.  At least I have a slice of Zorba’s prime rib to look forward to tonight. 

Hump Day Filling Well In

My phantom son deserted New England for the sunny climes of Virginia this week so I was left without a lunch date yesterday.  His mother nobly volunteered to fill this yawning chasm in my social life.  She faced the Herculean task of showing up on time so we could go out to lunch at 11:30 due to a 1pm presentation I had to make downtown.  So we showed up at the restaurant a little after noon and rushed through a hurried but very fun lunch.  I think my wife is very fortunate that the old saying timeliness is next to Godliness is not true.  She would be looking at some serious time in purgatory.

Late Arriving But Very Sexy Lunch Date

She threatened me with another surprise when I came home.  I started looking around for another assembly project (see yesterday’s post) when she revealed a refrigerator full of the chocolate mousse dessert – YES!!!!  She also bought a new pair of jeans, which I didn’t need and started to tell her.  She then told me to look at the size.  I’ve been wearing 36” by 34” trousers for well over ten years, even when I was still in the Army and they had been getting a little snug prior to entering the keto-sphere.  These jeans were my old size of 34” by 34” and there was still some extra space in the waist when I tried them on.  This keto diet is amazing. 

YES!!!!

The Red Sox were playing afternoon baseball out on the left coast which timed perfectly with my post work need to assume couch potato status.  While I don’t think this team is equipped for a long playoff run they sure as hell have grit.  They skull dragged a bad Giants team the day after losing an embarrassing late night affair to the same team. Entertaining, no juggernaut, but this is still a very entertaining team to watch.  I almost feel bad for them as the Patriots loom on the horizon. I spent the rest of the night pulverizing my brain with some really bad 1990's cinema - unintentional comedy levels through the roof - see reviews for more on this.

Middlebrooks Seems to Have Learned his Lesson

Stool Kick House

I returned home yesterday anticipating the mysterious “small” surprise my wife alluded to on the phone.  I envisioned some more of the keto friendly chocolate mousse dessert.  I was disappointed when I found her seated in the family room surrounded by various parts of a new kitchen stool in various forms of assembly; so no chocolate.   

The Non-Chocolate Surprise

She’s been pestering me to cut off the legs of the stools we have in the kitchen because she feels they are too tall.  I’ve resisted because a. They seem fine to me and b. I cringe to think what result of my modifications to finished furniture would look like.

She found a shorter version of our stool and brought it home to show me that it would work.  She was frustrated that after puling out her pink tool box and spending a couple hours that the thing still wasn’t assembled.  I asked her why she didn’t follow the directions.  She seemed genuinely surprised that instructions had been provided, hence the frustration. 

My Wife Sitting in the New Stool
Old Stools on the Left

After I disassembled her efforts and reconstructed the stool (following the directions) I have to admit that she was right – it does work.  However now she thinks the new stool is too short.  I’ll be cutting some legs on Sunday – pray for me. 

We went to see Kick-Ass 2 last night on date night.  I absolutely loved the first movie and was looking forward to this sequel.  While it did have its moments overall I rate this as a disappointment.  The first one snuck up on me and had a completely different tone.  This was much more uneven and the villains were comical this time instead of menacing.  

My Wife on Not One But TWO Computers
The World has Shifted

We returned home and my newly tech savvy wife was soon deep into a Skype conversation with the architect designing our house down in Panama.  I donned head phones in order to hear the Sox game while she reviewed the initial plan via email.  I only offered the comment that we would need additional rooms for her purses and shoes which she did not find constructive.  It’s good to finally have the feeling that the planned house is moving incrementally forward. 

The Initial House Plan

Nicely Walking the Line

I had an interesting interlude with one of my employees yesterday.  He was bemoaning the fact that passengers were uniformly rude to him.   I asked him how many times he had apologized during his eight hour shift.  He gave me a blank stare trying to comprehend where I was coming from.   

He’s a grumpy guy to begin with so he was totally out of his depth.  I’ve always found that no matter what culture you’re in – a foul mood is usually very contagious.  If you act pissed off then you become a donor to the general malaise that will soon find you.

Being nice can have the opposite effect, even if the people around you do not merit that emotion.  People respond in kind to the emotions they are dealt.  A couple of times I found myself in situations in the Arab world where I overcame some Anti-American feelings by simply being nice.  Again in most cultures (well, except for the French) people want to enjoy their personal interactions.  I think 95% of us are hard wired to be decent.  I told the bus driver to think about apologizing to passengers if they complain to him about the bus being late even though it wasn’t his fault.  We’ll see. 

I finished The Long Walk by Stephen King yesterday.  It is apparently his earliest work written while still a college student and published as a Richard Bachman book many years ago.  I found it as I wandered through the Amazon kindle store where I erroneously thought I had read everything King had written both as himself and Bachman.

The story involves a group of 100 young men who enter a contest in a present day, alternate totalitarian USA.  They start walking from the northern Maine (of course) border and must maintain a 4 mile an hour pace or they are summarily executed by following soldiers.  There are no breaks, no sleep, and leaving the road results in immediate execution.  The winner is literally the last man standing. 

As with any book by King his characters immediately come to life and it’s heartbreaking to see the friends of the lead character slowly succumb.  King also brings the reader into the walk where I swear my feet started hurting experiencing the Long Walk through his description.  Any aspiring young author should avoid reading this because to realize King wrote this as a college sophomore could lead to despair. How can anyone be this good so young and maintain that excellence for forty years and counting.  He’s a national treasure. 

The Master - The True "Roland"