Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk and Buddy

I came home to some disturbing news in that one of our buses struck a pedestrian who later died.  I know the driver involved and while he could be a pain in the ass at times I know he is feeling about as low as he can right now.  His driving career is over but the real tragedy is that some family has to deal with the loss of a loved one for no good reason.  That grim news is an appropriate lead into a book I finished while on the trip, Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk.  I thought I had seen the depths of depravity that Palahniuk would let his characters descend to but with this latest foray he set the bar to a new low.  I get the impression he just revels in seeing what he can get away with because he probably could not have gotten this book published if he hadn’t already established himself as bankable.  This book is a withering indictment of America’s fascination with celebrity and reality television so, of course, I loved it.  He puts a collection of would be authors who volunteer to be locked up in a theater for three months to focus on writing and almost immediately chaos ensues as each tries to grab a piece of celebrity notoriety in some of the most bizarre fashion.  Each tells a story amid the anarchy so this is really a series of short stories intimately woven into that chaos.  You shouldn’t read this if you’re not prepared gong in because it will grab your attention in a very disturbing way.  Palahniuk car wreck fascination at its very best.  Thankfully yesterday was a very lazy day back at home and I spent most of the afternoon creating the epic blog post of our trip as well as watching Buddy’s shenanigans.  Buddy has taken squirrel control to a whole new level now that they have invaded our front yard in force.  We have a chestnut tree in the front yard and this time of year we can have 5 or 6 of the little critters roaming our yard.  Some have the temerity to come up to the house to break open or hide their nuts.  Buddy takes extreme exception to this.  He now takes up a vigil on the couch where he can see out the window and then alerts us when squirrels are present; usually by manically charging around the house (it just happened – he’s literally bouncing off the walls right now).  I’ll go to the front door and after checking there are no pedestrians or bike riders I’ll release the beast.  Buddy will charge down the hill to enact justice.  The squirrels now head for the trees when they hear the door open and Buddy hasn’t caught one yet but that hasn’t dampened his enthusiasm.  Yesterday we did this and Buddy was tracking a large gray squirrel and was hot on his heels headed towards a tree.  He failed to notice a red squirrel who apparently hadn’t received the rules of the yard because he was frozen on a rock when Buddy charged by.  This was enough to wake him up though and he chose to escape by running through Buddy’s legs.  It was absolute chaos and Buddy loved it, even the neighbor’s cat across the street was spooked and took off on a run.  While watching Buddy institute bedlam I noticed that the trees have started to change color.  In the four days we were gone there was a noticeable change which heralds my favorite time of year – autumn in New England.  After the bad news at work and a healthy dose of Palahniuk it couldn’t come at a better time. 

In Position for Launch

Autumn is Coming

Epic San Francisco Post

We returned last night to a very rainy Boston and an enthusiastic reception from Buddy.  Now that my wife can spend some time on the phone and I have access to a good internet connection (funny how important that has become) I find I have time to finally chronicle our San Francisco adventure.  We crammed a lot of activity into the four days but I think the best thing about it was the lack of any real plan other than locations we would be staying.  This allowed us the flexibility to really enjoy the city and sights and let them come to us instead of forcing a crowded itinerary.  This had the added benefit of giving us the time to spend with each other (as well as an incredibly fun surprise reunion evening with some friends) which is what an anniversary trip should be all about. 

Day 1

In an earlier blog I provided some of the details of our first day until my frustration with the poor internet connection overcame my patience (it was a short fight).  We were famished (airlines have figured out how not to feed you – even on transcontinental flights) when we got into the hotel so the first order of business was a huge lunch, burger and a milk shake (California again).  Our hotel was located on Joseph Conrad Square, one street back from Fisherman’s Wharf so we headed over there and my wife stopped to be enchanted by every street performer (even the weird robot dude painted silver all over and the spray paint artists).  We ended up at Pier 39 with lots of sea lions, spectacular views of Alcatraz Island, America’s Cup yachts racing around, and an overabundance of its shopping opportunities (rut roh). My wife was in her element.  She was so content and I enjoyed watching her be so happy.  She rewarded me with a huge piece of fudge while I waited outside being entertained by a fat Italian escape artist who was literally begging the crowd for money.  She attempted to convince me to buy a new hat but the shop was fortunately out of my size (score!).  San Francisco was a little overrun with tourist since a couple of really big cruise ships were in the harbor which made for a fantastic blend of people from literally across the entire globe (including one skirt so short it defies description – no pictures of that – I want to make it to my 31^st anniversary).  I was struck again by the beauty of San Francisco with flowers everywhere and the hills that provide San Francisco with so many beautiful vistas.  As we wandered around that first day we would turn a corner and find some beautiful little corner or hidden away spot that we probably would have missed if we were on some packaged tour.  I loved the small surprises.  We dodged a ruthless pack of Segway riders to reach Ghirardelli Square where there was chocolate and more shopping.  I sat outside in front of a public gas fireplace with a couple of Chinese couples who kept looking over their shoulders waiting for someone to kick us out (I don’t think they believed it was open to the public – must be different in their home town). My wife loved the abundant flowers placed everywhere, including huge bougainvillea plants that she adores but has to keep inside in New England.  She was a little put out by the lack of shoe stores and accused me of some conjuration that was masking their presence.  We turned a corner near the Cannery and she was rewarded when my conjurations (no admission of guilt here) failed.  I found a comfortable seat while she discovered the comfortable Toms shoes.  I was entertained watching a fellow customer, an Asian lady with a thick Cockney accent.  We went back to the hotel for a short break and frustratingly slow internet service while my wife iced her knees after her herculean shopping efforts.  We headed out for a late dinner with no real plan and were attracted to Tiernan’s Irish Pub, a couple blocks from the hotel.  There was a live middle aged, portly performer present who sang a mix of oldies and Irish songs.  He even played my favorite Beatles song, “Hey You’ve Got to Hide Your Lovin Ways”.  It was a perfect ending for a day extended three hours by the time change and I went to bed confident we had not wasted that extra time. 

Across Aisle - Not Pleased

Much Better!

Train to the Rental Car

Fisherman's Wharf

Across the Street with Vintage Train in Background

Wife with the Pier 39 Sea Lions

Herd is Returning

Pier 39 Shopping - Coit Tower on Telegraph Hill in Background

Caution - Serious Shopper on the Prowl

She Thought I looked like Fish in Window, Nice

Bouganvelias Thriving Outside

Cable Cars!

Arriving at Ghiradelli Square - More Shopping

And Flowers!

One of Those Small Hidden Surprises

Segway Pack

Russian Hill

Shoe Store, At Last!

View From Our Hotel Room - Alcatraz in Distance

Day 2

The weather in San Francisco was the same all three days we were there and it really was a tale of two cities.  One side of the city, nearest the entrance to the bay, was fog covered and clammily cold while just a few blocks away it was sunny and summerlike.  I wrote earlier that a company we do business with was providing a chauffeur driven tour of San Francisco on this day.  I was just coming out of the shower at 8:30 when we received a call that our driver was downstairs, a full hour and a half early.  We rushed downstairs for a semi-quick breakfast and then spent a truly magical day with our driver John.  He was a short, retired bus driver with encyclopedic knowledge of San Francisco and charm to spare.  The company uses him exclusively for this type work and he joked that he had the greatest job in the world because his fellow workers were constantly checking the obituaries, hoping he will die so they can get his job.  We started out on Russian Hill dodging cable cars and checking out the crookedest street in the world (lots of bumper scrapes present on the sidewalls).  We then traveled through the Presidio to the Golden Gate Bridge.  The bridge was encased in the fog mentioned earlier but was still incredibly impressive.  We walked out onto the bridge dodging bicycle riders who were obviously frustrated by the crowds of tourists who weren’t aware of the rules on the sidewalk (guilty – I saw the signs on the way back).  The walk out offered a superb view of the city bathed in sunlight.  I looked down from the heights onto the top of Fort Hunt located at the base of the bridge (and scene of a Dirty Harry manhunt) and was a little uncomfortable with vertigo (appropriate given the city) feeling drawn over the railing.  Our next stop was the exclusive neighborhood of Sea Cliff where John pointed out the house that was the setting for the movie, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner.  We traveled through Golden Gate park which had a number of very interesting places including Rodin’s famous statue, The Thinker.  John took us up to the highest point in San Francisco, Twin Peaks, but the top was on the foggy side of the dividing line and was literally encased in clouds.  We headed through the Castro District which John opined was dangerous for he and I as this was the gay capitol of the city (he comes from earlier times when this was appropriate to comment on).  We passed by the San Francisco Giants baseball field and McCovey Cove on our way to China Town.  John let us out to wander through Chinatown (according to John the largest Chinese community outside of Asia).  My wife loved the shopping (go figure) and was amazed by the price on some fruits.  We were shortly the proud owners of several pomegranates and clementines.  Back in the car, John took us by city hall (remembered so many Dirty Harry scenes there) and then over Nob Hill – still very exclusive but mostly hotels now.  John then took a wide trip around the city to the Westlake District where he (really his company) treated us to lunch at Joe’s Restaurant.  John said many sports stars come here because they are left alone and this is where the locals eat, not the tourists.  The Italian food was awesome and John was a little bit of celebrity there – I don’t think we were the first set of guests he taken there (just guessing).  After the late lunch John headed back to the hotel taking us through the (in)famous Haight Ashbury district where the summer of 1960’s love took place and Japantown.  We also stopped by the original Spanish mission where San Francisco was founded which I thought was fascinating since it was surrounded by this huge modern city.  Once John dropped us off we headed back out for, more shopping (but you probably already guessed that).  While my wife shopped I meandered out onto this dock with a lot of old ships and joined a tour, turns out this was a national park.  The park ranger offered a fascinating lecture on the animals of San Francisco Bay and took us below the dock to see some incredibly big star fishes.  My wife finally noticed I was missing and summoned me back for some critically important shopping decisions (my favorite kind).  She noticed I had lost my sunglasses.  I think she was feeling a little guilty about all the shopping she was dong for herself (a little and easily overcome) and said we had to buy some new sunglasses.  I said I really didn’t need them but said if we passed by a sunglass store we could stop in.  Some of my conjurations of the day before must have rebounded because there was literally a sunglass store on every block we passed for the rest of the day.  I now own a new pair of sunglasses with a handy “dummy cord” so I don’t lose these (she’s a very serious shopper). We ended up back for another gun run on Pier 39 because we only had time for the first floor on day 1.  I still thought this was a totally fabulous day precisely because it was obvious my wife was having so much fun.  She pays her debts though and we returned to the Irish Pub for the evening.  The same singer was back, with a female accomplice this night, and he once again sang my favorite Beatles song.  A very good day, indeed.

Heading Up Russian Hill

Looking Down from the Top

Crookedest Road in the World

Cable Car Arriving on Top

Wife at the Golden Gate

Author at Same Place

On the Bridge Looking Down at Ft Hunt - Serious Vertigo

Walking on the Bridge

Looking Back at San Fran in the Sun From the Bridge

Brown House on Hill Setting for Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

McCovey Cove

Giants Ballpark

Weird Bomb Sculpture Along Embarcadero - Bay Bridge In Background

Chinatown

Cheap Fruit!

Central SF Seen from Chinatown

Wife with the Intrepid John in Front of Joe's

Haight Ashbury Intersection

Entrance to Japantown Above - First Mission in SF Below

Wife on Cable Car

Photo By Kind British Couple

National Park Dock

View of City From the Dock

Another of Vintage Trains I thought were so Cool

Singers at Irish Pub

Day 3

This was check out day from the San Francisco hotel and we were driving down to Monterrey for our final night in California.  For this reason I wanted to get out of the hotel quickly which of course meant my wife required a significant preparation phase.  Two hours later she pronounced herself sufficiently rehabilitated to risk public exposure.  This was an exercise in patience for me that was thirty years in the making.  While eating breakfast we received an email letting us know the daughter of a beloved neighbor from our Army days in Virginia lived in Monterrey.  She married a great young Army officer and he was assigned to Monterrey.  While driving down we got her on the phone and accepted a dinner invitation to their home.  My wife had been fiddling with the GPS system of day 1 fame and when we started it up it worked perfectly; my wife the techo whiz (my children are now doubled over in mirth).   It was a beautiful trip through the Santa Cruz Mountains to Monterrey.  While driving I had to answer a call of nature (just loving middle age) and while pulled over I dashed for the tree line.  As I achieved relief I noticed I was surrounded by immense, spectacular redwoods, a real Zen moment.  We passed through the artichoke capitol of the world (so we now have that going for us!).  Our hotel, The Monterrey Bay Lodge, across the street from the beach, was a great old style motel complete with a hot tub and heated pool.  We threw our bags into the room and drove through the famous Cannery Row, channeling a little Steinbeck while doing that, on our way to Carmel by the Sea.  I had been there earlier in the year (see previous blog) and knew that this was a place my wife would adore (yes here was a lot of shopping to be had).  We drove down by Pebble Beach and then took a driving tour of the beach and very exclusive beach front houses.  My wife was absolutely charmed and stated she wanted to move there (her next husband I diplomatically informed her might be able to afford that).  We parked near Clint Eastwood’s former municipal offices and embarked on a dedicated shopping tour of central Carmel.  There were so many cool little shops that I even enjoyed it a little (don’t tell her).  My wife finally found the hat which I was apparently deathly in need of and cherished the opportunity to wander through town.  Carmel is incredibly dog friendly, although calling some of the rat like creatures I observed “dogs” was a bit of a stretch.  Dogs were welcome into most of the shops and several even had water dishes out – I liked Carmel.  In the late afternoon we returned to the hotel for a short frolic in the pool (me) and hot tub (both of us).  A friendly hotel maintenance guy took the pictures for us.  While there we experienced an I-Phone crisis when my wife’s best friend (her I-Phone) was totally unresponsive.  My wife’s newly acquired techno whiz abilities deserted her and we frantically messaged our daughter for assistance.  She talked us through a couple of options which resulted in the rebirth of the phone.  We then headed out to the young couple’s house (only a mile and a half from our hotel – what are the odds?).  We had the best time there.  Spending the evening with this great young Army couple and their two super kids was like looking in a time capsule back to our own youth.  This was truly a night spent with old friends and there is no price you can put on that.  I also discovered in holding the six month old that I am ready to be a grandfather (bad news for our daughter).  The good news is this was a grandparent “fix” for my wife and I that should last for a while.  This fantastic young couple learned we were out there to celebrate our anniversary and had a cake which we made champagne toasts to.  My wife and I so totally enjoyed the evening that we didn’t want it to end but we also remembered what having young children meant so we left with a promise to take them up on their offer to visit them at their next assignment in Germany.  The GPS sent us in the wrong direction when we left (should have listened to the advice offered by our host).  Fortunately he saw us headed off to parts unknown and was waiting at the corner when we sheepishly returned and got us going in the right direction.  We returned to the hotel, which had GREAT INTERNET SERVICE, which allowed me to make the leviathan blog posting for my daughter’s birthday (see below).  Another great day, due in large part to a pair of young people who allowed us a passing and welcome glimpse of where we came from.

Zen Like Forest Location

Our Monterrey Hotel

Cannery Row - Monterrey

Cool Roof in Carmel

Clint's Former Office

Carmel - Pebble Beach Golf In Distance

Looking South Along Carmel Beach

Carmel Beachfront Homes

House of the Next Husband?

On the Lookout?

Carmel - Ocean Ave

Ocean Ave - Carmel - Very Chic

Cool Little Shops Throughout

Well Manicured Mall

Hot Tub Time

Pool and Hot Tub

Kind Gardner Photo Jets Turned Off

Highlight of the Trip - Our Fabulous Hosts

Anniversary Cake and Champagne

Grandparent Fix

Day 4
Yesterday dawned appropriately drizzly since we would be ending this enchanting little sojourn away from our normal life.  We grabbed breakfast in the hotel before hitting the road for the airport.  I estimated three hours based on my experience earlier in the year.  Of course we made record time and missed out on the opportunity to stop for photos in the both the artichoke capitol of the world (again) and the garlic capitol of the world!  (We’re talking serious karma here).  The early arrival permitted, guess what – more shopping!!!  I was able to polish off the second book of the trip (the latest Jack Reacher!!!!).  Reviews of this and the disturbing venture into Palahniuk world will follow in subsequent blogs.  The flight on United Airlines was once again professional and extremely enjoyable.  My wife was forced to sit across on the aisle on this flight but it worked out for the best (we’re talking middle age here again).  Our friend escaped from Buddy long enough to pick us up right on time and we completed our journey through a driving rain storm.

Buddy Greeting us Home

I know this has been an incredibly long blog but I failed to adequately describe how much fun we had.  We both know one thing, we’ll be back to the city by the bay and encourage anybody who hasn’t been there to add it to your life goals as a destination.