Its A Smaller and Better World

A Great Man

Yesterday I stopped in to oversee a training session taking place here at work for some new technology we are implementing.  As I stood in the back of the room I had a chance to survey the group of people engaged in the training and I was struck by the cosmopolitan makeup of the group.  There were Eastern Europeans, Caribbean Islanders, Central and South American Latinos, African Americans, and an Irish immigrant.  The training was conducted by a young caucasian woman assisted by a second generation immigrant woman from India.  My employees were supervised by a Palestinian Arab.  Another young lady, from England, was monitoring the training for another technology company.  Everybody was getting along and working together without issue.  I reflected what a change this was from the very “white bread” society I grew up in.  I think it also points out one of the great strengths of American society.  Despite all the negative aspects of racism that Europeans and other detractors like to throw in our faces, America really is a true melting pot.  While it is sometimes ugly looking at it from the outside for the most part Americans pull together, especially when confronted by crisis, regardless of their heritage.  One of the things I am most proud of America is the dying out of racism.  Don’t get me wrong, it is certainly not dead, but more and more it is confined to the lunatic fringe and idiots of society.  When I was young it was very out front and acceptable to be a racist.  My generation benefited from the life of Martin Luther King who planted the seed of tolerance that may take a couple of generations to fully mature but has certainly taken root.  Working in the multi-cultural environment of the military pushed me into close contact with other races and ethnic groups which I found truly enlightening.  King had it right, judge a person by the content of their character, not the color of their skin.  I found that people are pretty much the same; there are jerks of every color.  One shouldn’t ascribe that behavior to anything other than the fact the person is a jerk.  At the same time I made some life long friends of some African-Americans that I would die for.  I can still remember one of my mother’s visits while I was serving in the military.  We hosted a party where a number of the attendees were African-American friends.  She was amazed and a little fascinated.  I see in my own kids the dying out of racism that was so prevalent in my parents’ world and I could not be happier.  We still have a long way to go but at least we’re moving in that direction.

Empty House Reminder of Youthful Excesses

I spent the weekend alone in the house with Buddy, the wonder pooch.  I finished a thousand piece puzzle in less than two days and watched way too many movies.  Both of the kids checked in to make sure I wasn’t vegetating and I realized how much work my wife does on a normal weekend to get me ready for work on Monday.  Of course this realization was achieved because I had to do the work but it really helped fill the days.  Being in the empty house made me reminisce back to my college days when my mother would take my two younger sisters on vacation and leave my older sister and myself alone in the house for a couple of weeks each summer.  Both my older sister and I were working summer jobs to help pay for college, back when that was possible.  Since the drinking age was only 18 in those days my mother’s departure signaled a two week bacchanalia with my friends that makes me now, being a parent myself, cringe and have serious doubts as to my mother’s sanity.  But these were simpler times and my mother really did trust our basic decency.  My friends were almost as excited about my mother’s vacations as I was.  She wasn’t even safely out of town before we had moved a trashcan filled with ice and beer into the middle of the kitchen.  A couple of the friends even moved into the house now that there were empty beds.  The weekends called for epic parties that became the stuff of legend within our circle of friends.  The first year in the midst of this weekend gathering, a semi-inebriated friend leaned on a hutch that had my mother’s prized set of china.  The top half separated and fell on a circle of my sister and her friends who were playing a drinking game on the dining room floor.  One minute the house was a cacophony of noisy, boisterous college kids and the next minute you could literally hear a pin drop.  Its testimony to the innate good nature of this bunch of friends in that, even in their inebriated state, they realized this was a big deal and immediately helped my sister and I try to recover what was possible – very little of my mother’s china though.  We spent the next week awaiting our summary execution and my friends offered to stand against the wall with us.  My mother was understandably upset but not angry.  Her sadness at the loss of some prized, sentimental possessions hurt us more than if she had been truly angry.  The next summer she inexplicably trusted us again.  Shortly after the trash can full of ice and beer was safely placed in the kitchen, my friends and I disassembled the hutch to insure there would be no repeat disaster.  The party the following weekend was the best of this epoch.  It was one of those rare times when everything seemed to go right.  We had beer pong set up in the driveway and friends came from all over New England.  Two of my friends from college, hockey players, who I casually mentioned the party to actually showed up as well as a healthy word of mouth crowd from my home town.  There were easily over a hundred young people at the party and it was such a good time, filling the house, the garage and parts of the basement even.  The police showed up but only to insure we were under control. I remember concentrating so hard while talking to them – apparently successfully misleading them that I was adult enough to manage the situation.  This is once again testimony to what a great group that was because there was no damage other than to brain cells.  I remember waking up the next morning to a scene of utter disarray with bodies strewn everywhere, one of the hockey players ended up sleeping in the back yard under a bush.  He claimed he came to hinterlands of New Hampshire to camp and that was what he did.  That was really the peak of these parties.  Subsequent years did not result in the same level of sublime idiocy.  Probably, sadly, inevitably, we were actually growing up.  My friends and I talked about these parties for years, fondly remembering the adventures until I realized my own kids were starting to listen to the stories.  I do not have the same “trusting” nature of my mother even though my kids are a heck of lot more mature than I was at their age.  These parties were possible in that era because of those magnificent friends and older sister that I grew up with, something my kids, with their military brat upbringing, never had.  It’s safe to reveal some of these details on the record now that they’re through that dangerous age.  Great memories, but no beer filled trash cans in the kitchen this past weekend.



The Puzzle Completed This Weekend



Solitary

I'm now into my second day without the wife and its been kind of weird.  I guess I didn't realize how much of my life is regulated by the patterns she and I have established.  I fell asleep on the couch last night and woke up early in the morning - she always comes down and requires I come up upstairs.  Buddy appreciated the extra time out of his kennel but even he seems to realize something significant is missing.  I was talking to her on the phone last night and he got frantic checking all the windows and jumping over the couch. I think she appreciated the fact that her absence had been noted at the canine level.  I've caught myself doing things because I know she expects me to.   I usually make popcorn at night when I watch movies.  She always tells me to make sure I police up all the spare husks that fall on the counter.  I always complain about this but last night I found myself doing it without her prompting, I guess she really does have me trained.  At the same time I'm doing some guilty pleasure type things that usually draws her ire.  I've set up two card tables in the family room to do puzzles and I didn't make the bed this morning.  There are dirty clothes starting to populate the bedroom floor as well.  I guess the training was not as deep as feared.  Of course the house will be completely clean and clothes put away before she returns.  I'm not an idiot.  Buddy and I took a really long walk in the woods this morning.  There's a power line cut through the forest near our house and I've reconned about a 4 mile hike that circles back to our house.  Buddy loves these walks because as soon we leave the street I take him off the leash and let him run free.  I love watching him running like crazy through the woods.  He's very good about coming back when called, he understands his liberty depends on this obedience.  I made several stops to just listen to the forest and Buddy always came back to ensure I was okay.  There were a couple of small streams we had to ford which Buddy always stopped to make sure I was safely across.  Today its movies and puzzles.  I went out to see the latest Underworld movie and it was good to see Beckinsale back in spandex. This will be a very relaxing weekend before I start into projects I always undertake when the wife is away.

Benefits of the Electro-Magnetic Spectrum

I sometimes bemoan the impersonal nature of today’s electronic age where kids spend too much time with video games and everyone is constantly checking facebook and twitter updates instead of talking with each other.  I guess it is somewhat disingenuous for me to grumble about this in a blog made by possible by this same medium.  At the same time I am astounded by the little things in life that the internet has made so easy.  I did all of my Christmas shopping while sitting at my desk – a huge win for someone who hates, seriously HATES, shopping in stores.  In the past week I had to renew my passport.  I went on line and downloaded the forms, found a location with the lowest prices for passport photos, and then dropped off the form.  Just ten years ago this would have been an all day adventure.  That is the internet in its most profoundly valuable mode – access to information.  Those little things in life, actions that you only perform once a year or so used to require serious leg work to accomplish.  Think about having to go to a travel agent to secure airline tickets instead of logging on and buying the tickets, including selecting your seat.  Do travel agents still exist?  The ability to quickly find little used but absolutely critical information for these “little things” is so incredibly helpful.   I’ve made it a goal this year to finally start paying my bills on line but I’m still leery of doing that for the exposure to identity theft.  My kids think I’m “quaint’ for still paying bills by check through snail mail.  Maybe I’ll surprise the wife by accomplishing that while she’s away.  While there is a lot to find fault with some aspects of it, I for one, am eternally thankful and constantly amazed by how much easier life’s little challenges have been engineered.  Thank you internet.

Better Half Airborne in a Nick of Time

I just returned from dropping off my wife at Logan International Airport for her annual trip back home to stay with her parents.  Since the kids are all out of school and the house she can now do this during the dry season in Panama (December to March) which is so much better than the rest of the year - think rain, serious rain.  She's been bouncing off the walls for the last couple of weeks getting ready.  Yesterday she purchased two new suitcases with some early birthday gift cards.  This of course led to more packing (see earlier post of weighing baggage and attendant canine fury).  We decided on a quiet night together yesterday because we've found these separations, which were so much a part of our lives during my military career, have become progressively more difficult to tolerate.  Our plan was shot to pieces because of repeated phone calls from friends and family, all welcome, although the last one, around 11pm after we'd already gone to bed was stretching it a bit.  My wife was telling me all along that the flight was scheduled to leave at 7am so we planned on getting there at 5am.  This necessitated leaving the house at 4am and getting out of bed at 3:30am.  I woke up at 2:33am and was convinced we were late until my wife reminded me we were getting up at 3:30 not 2:30.  Apparently the cosmos was trying to tell me something.  The flight was actually scheduled for 5:45am!  We arrived at the airport at 5:10 and followed our normal procedure where I drop her and the checked baggage at the curb and then go park the car while she checks in.  When my wife gets stressed her command of the English language somewhat deserts her and she relies on me.  For this reason I was pleasantly surprised, after my initial horrified shock, to learn that when she was told she missed her scheduled flight that she had already been put on the next flight which would arrive in Miami in time for her connecting flight to Panama.  A good experience with American Airlines - who thought that was possible!  I hurried her to the security line and then for the first time did not wait for her to see her go through.  I told her it was too tough to watch and she said she understood because it was tough for her to see me watching while she went through this.  Seems as if as we get older the maudlin factor goes up - what the hell I can admit it; I'm really going to miss her.  I drove home and hung out with Buddy until it was time to leave for work - the house already seems very empty.

Filially Fortunate

If you’ve read this blog at all you know how proud I am of my two children, justifiably.  They are both college grads starting out on very successful careers and lives.  I was reminded again last night of just how lucky I am.  My wife leaves for a month+ long sojourn back to her parents’ home in Panama on Thursday.  Her birthday occurs during the time she is away.  Last night my son, who works about 50 miles away, showed up at our door with a bouquet of flowers (he knows his mother) and took us out for dinner.  He also presented her with a birthday card that had our eyes tearing up with some very heartfelt sentiment.  He did all this because he knew he wasn’t going to be able to see his mother on her birthday and wanted to make her feel special; mission accomplished.  He is such a good person and I think that is what I am most proud about him.  He is in the middle of making a very difficult professional decision where he has been offered  a great professional opportunity at the same time he has found the love of his life.  In the midst of all this, he takes the time to drive all the way to our house and spend an evening with his parents.  What other mid-20s guy is going to do that?  We were both very touched and a little bit in awe.  Our daughter is a little further away so she couldn’t make the trip up but she did spend a lot of time last week making three music CDs for her mother to take with her to Panama which arrived on Monday.  I can’t think about my kids without realizing just how blessed I am with these two.  When I compare them to where I was at the same age, I come off a very distant third. 

We all went to the movies after dinner and just had a great evening.  The movie was Haywire, which was kind of a disappointment.  Steven Soderburgh directed but his lead actress, while physically talented, could not act, even a little bit.

We are Truly Blessed with These Two!

Obama and Thomas

Yesterday President Obama hosted the Stanley Cup champion Boston Bruins at the White House.  This is part of the normal tour for championship teams of American sports.  Everybody today is talking about the fact that one of the leaders of the team, goalie Tim Thomas, refused to attend because he doesn’t like Obama.  My only question is, “Why is this news?”  Who gives a rat’s butt why an entitled millionaire based solely on his ability to stop frozen plastic from entering a net does anything other than his chosen profession.  This gets back to one of my pet peeves, the amount of political currency Americans give to celebrities.  Sports stars, movie stars, and other type of celebrities often insert themselves into the political process simply based on their stardom – not because they bring anything to the process other than their fame.  Barbara Streisand is a great example, she can sing, act and direct but she’s often quoted for her political beliefs.  This is someone who didn’t even finish high school but is granted a voice over more qualified people simply because she can hit musical notes.  Bruce Willis is a really fine actor but why is he trotted out for Republican media events?  These celebrities are not the people they portray on the screens. Most sports stars have devoted their development purely to the physical at the expense of the intellectual or spiritual to reach their lofty status.  None of this qualifies any of these bozos to have the elevated status to comment on something most of them probably don’t even begin to understand.  Everyone is entitled to a voice but let’s not ascribe any more portent to the words of a celebrity who may have worked hard at their chosen profession but in most cases do not have a clue what they’re talking about and were probably prepped by their handlers on what to say anyways.  I had a good friend in the Army and we were working on a detail in Hawaii where President Clinton, much more worthy of contempt than Obama, would be passing by.  This friend refused to shake hands when Clinton passed by, which was fine.  He quietly chose to express his views without drawing attention to himself.   I actually like Obama and he was gracious and funny in his remarks yesterday with the Bruins, which should have been the story.  Thomas should be more concerned about his rising goals against average instead of taking a cheap shot at a guy who wanted to honor him. 

NOTE:  The light show from yesterday morning was from a chimney fire in the neighbor’s house.  It looks like some extensive damage but they were back in the house last night and there was nothing in the news so we’re assuming everyone’s okay.

Pats Win and Early Morning Light Show

Thank You Billy Cundiff!

I wrote earlier about how much more fun it was to watch football games with friends.  I completely validated that theory yesterday when I traveled an hour and half back to my hometown to watch the Patriots game at the house of a close friend.  A bunch of other friends also showed up and we had an absolutely fantastic time.  Buddy was sentenced to his cage because he doesn’t handle crowds or low lying plates of food well.  Actually he handles low lying food all too well, hence the cage.  He seemed at peace there and made the most of it by conning anyone who passed by his cage out of a treat.  My wife missed the entire first half of the game due to an extended shopping trip; she loves the tax free shopping of New Hampshire.  I used the opportunity presented to share a “few” beers with friends, something I normally don’t do on a “school night” (when I have to work the next day.)  But this was special and I truly enjoyed it although it did result in a bizarre phone call to my sister about the lint shedding from a blanket that she gave my friend two years ago as a Christmas present.  She rightly claimed the statute of limitations had expired on complaints and we proceeded.  The game was a see saw match with the Patriots defense, especially man mountain Vince Wilfork, finally showing up big which was good because Tom Brady played like a rookie.  My wife donned her Tom Brady shirt when she arrived but the game went south for the Patriots almost immediately and we made her take it off.  The Ravens missed a last minute field goal that was a gimme on any other day.  This all sets up a Super Bowl rematch with the hated Giants who ruined the Patriots perfect season a couple of years ago.  Drama indeed!  There was food, drink, and comradery aplenty.  My wife had to drive home due to the drink aplenty part and she did this without her usual lecture about the evils of demon alcohol which means she had a really good time also.  This morning came awful early and I was reminded why I don’t normally drink the day before a work day.  As I was stumbling downstairs in the early morning dark I was greeted by a huge light show outside.  I live in a small town and every police car and fire truck in the town must have been in the street in front of the house with their lights flashing.  I didn’t realize we had this many emergency personnel in the town. They were congregated around a house across and two houses up the street, people we do not know.  Luckily it did not look like there were any ambulances.  I couldn’t get Buddy up for our normal morning conversation because this scene would have sent him into high alert mode.  I did wake up the wife because she lives for things like this and she immediately concocted a full blown story about what was happening, devoid of any knowledge about what was actually going on.  We both laughed when she finished.  After a half hour they all went away so this is a mystery we’ll have to wait to hear about.

Vince Wilfork - The Man of the Match!

Finally Got to Use My Favorite Toy

My Toy and I From an Earlier Storm

We spent all day yesterday inside due to an all day snow storm.  My wife, who grew up without snow, adamantly refuses to leave the house on a day like that; it's the only time I can call her a wimp and get away with it.  I have a great house to watch a storm in because the family room has windows on all three sides and the house sits on a hill with great views.  This was the first big snow storm since the strange Halloween snow.  Yesterday we felt like the house was encased in a snow globe.  I take a very strategic approach to the driveway.  Due to aforementioned hill the driveway has to be cleared of snow all the way to the pavement or the first car going over it will turn the packed snow to ice and I'll have a problem getting up the hill even with four wheel drive.  I pick the best time to get out there, after the street gets plowed with the attendant snow bank at the bottom of the driveway, and then launch my previously positioned tractor mounted snow blower (my favorite toy).  My wife gives me a bit of guff because I'll be out there if there is a half an inch of snow.  Her approach is much less strategic than mine.  Yesterday we had closer to six inches so I was rocking.  Once I finish our driveway I usually knock out the driveways of our neighbors.  They think I'm a great guy but I feel guilty accepting the praise because I really do enjoy doing it.  I think of it as revenge for all the sore backs of previous years of shoveling snow.  I even did the driveway for the weird neighbor across the street who doesn't talk to anybody.  I was in the zone and it was 12 degrees outside.  I noticed another neighbor who has a walk behind snow blower and I helped him with his.  This was pay back because he was the one who rescued me earlier after the Halloween snow (see earlier blog).  Yes, I'm still paying for that with the wife.  Later in the evening one of the neighbors showed up at the front door with a chocolate pound cake, still hot from the oven, to thank me.  Again, I felt guilty because I do enjoy doing it so much.  Not guilty enough to refuse the cake, of course, but guilty nonetheless.  While we waited out the storm we also received several phone calls from relatives which was extremely cool, except that my favorite cousin called with some troubling health news.  We'll have to keep him our prayers while he undergoes some critical tests in a couple of weeks.  Today we're heading up to my home town to see if the Patriots can make it to the Superbowl.  They're the last great offensive team standing but they're up against a tough defense today.  I'm really looking forward to watching the game with friends. 

Politics and the Military

Yesterday I was holding forth on the lack of civility and lamenting the fact that the political discourse is restricted to the fringe elements of both parties.  Something that often comes up in my discussions is that military service should be a prerequisite for all national level political leaders.  This was one of the central themes to one of the best loved science fiction novels of my youth, Starship Troopers (nothing like the movie).  I think there is some value to that thought but no longer agree with it, it is too restrictive.  Its something the voters would have to agree on and that will never happen.  I think it would be valuable because too many political leaders today focus solely on themselves, getting re-elected is the name of the game.  One of the core values of the military is service - serving the country; suborning yourselves to the greater good of the whole.  Some of that type thinking leavened into the current political discourse might actually lead to the compromises needed to move a democracy forward.  Whenever this comes up in a discussion, the liberals, usually people I'm related to, go running for the hills imagining this would lead to knuckle dragging, mouth breathing, arch conservative governments.  This is a fallacy most vets are faced with.  We (veterans) are not all the same.  We have the same type of political differences that any group of Americans share.  If we are a little more hawkish on foreign affairs it might be because we have seen, first hand, the price of weakness in the face of tyranny.  For the most part though, we embrace the total spectrum of the political rainbow.  One of my best friends, a retired Navy vet, is a radical liberal and justifiably proud of that.  Please watch the video linked below to see the honors bestowed on a former US Army Airborne Ranger, who might surprise you.  We come in all shapes and sizes, like most of America, we're mostly in the middle politically, if a little more patriotic than most.  Politics could use a dose of putting the country first, so service of some kind, including but not limited to military service, should be a prerequisite.  Watch this video:
<http://www.youtube.com/v/PU-A7eqadho>

Where's The Middle?

As we crank up for another presidential election I am constantly reminded about the depths we've sunk to in our political discourse.  As a student of history this is nothing new in American politics, it used to be a lot less polite, but with today's media access its more than ever shoved right in our faces.  I come from a very liberal family for the most part.  Serving in the military has given me a healthy dose of reality when it comes to foreign affairs.  I really liked Herman Cain early on but he was dragged down once his private life was exposed.  I thought at the time how John F Kennedy, with his well documented libido, couldn't get elected to even city council nowadays.  Our political parties, the Democrats and Republicans, have grown a lot more powerful than our founding fathers ever intended and that is to all our detriments.  To be a successful Republican you have to coddle the right wing, almost fascist elements of the Christian right.  Conversely the Democrats have to appease the equally distasteful, to me, far left which borders on communism/socialism, decidedly un-American, whatever it is.  I actually voted for Obama because I thought he had the intelligence and vision to be a good leader.  I was duped, maybe due to the influence of a strong willed spouse, he has taken us much further to the left than I and many others who voted for him hoped.  He has, if anything, made the political discourse more divisive, which is a shame.  I had such high hopes for him.  I was discussing this with friends and family during a recent car ride, where is the middle?  Where is the political candidate that is brave enough to stake out some ground in the middle, to be the leader who can dismiss the nut jobs from either end of the spectrum and actually work for us instead of the political parties.   Being an elected official should not be about getting re-elected, it should be about serving the biggest portion of the people that elected you, not the fringes.  We're all out here waiting.

Canine Coniptions

MyWife's Dream

As I wrote about earlier, my wife is preparing for her annual pilgrimage home to visit family in Panama.  A couple of years ago the airlines changed baggage policy reducing the weight allowance to 50 pounds per bag.  This had a huge impact on my wife who liked to push the old 70 pound limit to the wall for every trip.  I remember several times over the years, usually to the immense embarrassment of the children, where we had to hastily repack luggage after her bag failed weigh in at the ticket counter.  Yes, all of you waiting in line and pissed off that someone was holding it up because of frantic repacking, that was us.  She is such a kind hearted soul that she buys things all year long to give away in Panama.  I now have a large number of extremely large suitcases from that time gathering dust and cob webs in the basement.  If 70 pounds were a challenge, the 50 pound limit is almost torture for her.  For this reason she approaches packing for these annual trips as a project, usually starting several week ahead of time.  She spends this time distilling  the contents down to the absolute necessities while still getting as close to the 50 pounds as possible. All of the overflow goes into my suitcase which usually starts out at around 30 pounds but never fails to push that 50 pound limit after my wife's additions.  I'm always afraid the customs people in Panama will ask to look in my bag and then ask what I am doing with all the woman's clothing.  This requires repeated weigh ins during the home packing phase using a hand held scale she bought for precisely this purpose.  My part is to hold up the bags to be weighed - usually after I have settled down to watch something.  My wife will emerge from her latest packing frenzy and supervise my weighing of the bags.  She always asks, while I have this 49.9999 pound bag suspended in mid-air, if I am absolutely sure that is what the scale is showing, at least twice .  This is all background to what was going on last night at home.  Our dog, Buddy, always goes into high alert whenever he sees suitcases being bandied about.  You cannot approach any door without his intervention and highly emotional insistence on accompanying you.  We've done a good job instilling some discipline in him since we acquired him a couple of years ago.  That all goes out the window when a suitcase is sighted.  Since trips by us usually means some kind of adventure for him as well, he just loses it.  Last night all these forces converged.  As soon as I got home from work my wife was ready for an initial weigh in of her bags.  Buddy observed this from downstairs and immediately charged up the stairs, a forbidden act for him, to inform us he was more than ready for the trip.  This led to a comedic moment as I stood with the bag suspended at chest level, the dog circling beneath and my wife demanding the second reading from the scale (choosing to ignore Buddy).  Buddy, enthusiastic to a fault, managed to knock over a small table my wife had dedicated to a beloved sister she lost several years ago to cancer.  Buddy now had my wife's full attention while I managed to catch several of the items cascading from the shrine.  These shenanigans continued downstairs with Buddy literally bouncing off the walls whenever either of us moved.  He was too excited to go outside to "do his business", afraid he would be left behind.  This went on for well over an hour.  By the time my wife and I headed out for out for our weekly date night movie, he was exhausted.  He quietly entered his kennel and immediately fell asleep.  I think it was important to him that we understood he was ready for the trip, message received.  The movie we went to see, Contraband, was actually pretty good and even had a significant portion of the film set in Panama, although my wife complained that they only showed the bad parts.  Initial weigh in results:  Bag 1 = 46 pounds  Bag 2 = 43 pounds - my wife is back hard at work today filling in the missing 11 pounds.  Buddy stands ready to assist.

Buddy - The Wonder Pooch

Music Medley From the Past

My wife was on the computer last night hunting down music for our upcoming anniversary party.  We will be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary at the same party as her parents celebrate their 60th.  My wife came up with the idea that we needed music from the times both couples were courting and coerced my daughter into agreeing to make a CD of the selected music.  My wife, a master of timing, decided last night was the time to make these decisions, at the same time I was trying to watch a Bruins game and then a Californication show.  Oh yeah, the speakers for the computer are about a foot and a half from where I sit while watching the TV.  When I politely asked why she didn't do this during the day while I am at work I was summarily dismissed as being an unfeeling lout who did not understand how tight her daily schedule was.  This led to a high level of unintentional comedy when certain events transpired on the TV screen accompanied by some wildly inappropriate music from the computer.  The funniest part was my wife on the phone with her mother in Panama playing Panamanian music from 60 years ago and then singing along with her mother to the music while I was celebrating a Bruins goal.  I was eventually dragged into the discussion of the music from our era, which is truly unfortunate, our era not the fact I was dragged in.  Being in the military I was spared the vagaries of having to choose a hairstyle which as I looked at the videos from the early 1980's was a Godsend.  What were we thinking!  Another aspect of the unfortunateness was that my wife and I courted during the slow painful death of disco music so you can imagine how much fun it was listening to some of that last night.  In reality I had a lot of fun going through the music from my youth, as terrible as that music was.  My wife and I were able to reminisce together about some fun times which is never a bad way to pass an evening.  Finally this blog seems to be paying benefits as an old friend found it over the weekend and called me up yesterday.  We're already planning to get together to watch some football.

Football Limboland

I spent all yesterday afternoon planted in front of the television watching the final two games of the NFL playoffs of the weekend.  I used to live for weekends like this but it’s something that has lost its luster for me.  I think the biggest downer for me was having to watch the games alone.  Football is a game best watched with friends.  I truly enjoyed the game Saturday night with friends. I’m kind of scared about the trends I’m seeing in the games.  Once again the teams with the better defenses have won all the games except for the Patriots game.  Next week they face a Baltimore team with a very good defense and the kind of big mouth posturing that I hate. As I think back to the games I have enjoyed most in my life, it is always with friends or family.  This circles back to some of my earlier blogs where I talk about the isolation of a post military life.  I truly enjoyed watching the games but was left with a feeling at the end of the day that I had wasted my time in a certain way.  My wife gallantly tries to understand American football but it is still a work in its earliest infancy.  The yellow first down marker helps more than anything.  My wife was decisively engaged with making Christmas cookies again, this time to take with her on her annual trip home to Panama.  She says cookie making is better done in the 12 degree weather we had yesterday instead of the 90 degree weather of Panama.  I have to take the blame for the isolated football viewing because I know if I had called any of several friends I would have received enthusiastic invitations to watch the game with them.  I’m going to have to overcome that social inertia if I want to be truly happy.

Great Night with Friends, I-phones and Pats

My wife and I attended a long planned evening dinner party with friends from work last night.  The hosting couple lives about 20 miles away in an even more remote setting than we do.  They were fantastic hosts and I really enjoyed seeing what they had done updating a really old farm house.  The food was great but the company was even better.  I do not believe there is a better way to spend an evening than with good friends sharing stories and poking fun at each other.  The added benefit last night was one of the other gals there had also recently received an I-Phone.  My wife latched onto her and they spent most of the evening getting my wife's I-Phone finally set up.  I have been somewhat lost in trying to get her going on it and my two tech gurus, son and daughter, have not been around to help.  My wife and this new coach had a great time next to each other while the rest of us poked fun at each other.  They even set up a face time video chat with my daughter which was cool.  Apparently I have to be nice to this "coach" for a while.  She and I have always had a good time trying to one up each other, in a very New England funny kind of way.  A small price to pay to have my wife comfortable with her new phone.  We stayed and watch the first half of the Patriots game and that was a huge success as the Pats totally dominated the Tim Tebow led Broncos.  The Patriots defense which was horrible most of the year really stood up and outclassed the Broncos.  My wife drove home because of the somewhat impressive amount of beer I indulged in.  It was a great evening on so many levels - the best part - the quality time spent with people I really care about.

Palahniuked Again

I just finished my latest foray into Chuck Palahniuk’s truly disturbed world by reading Invisible Monsters, a Christmas gift from my son in law.  I really liked the book but it’s almost a guilty pleasure because there are no redeeming characters once again.  This must be this author’s shtick and it’s like an amusement park ride as the reader careens from one depravity to another with these totally disreputable characters.  Important background facts doled out for their stun value and it becomes a game to try and guess where the next shock will come from.  I finished the book with real admiration for this author’s capacity to delve into the darkest corners of the human mind and poke fun at society in general at the same time.  It’s good to read something like this, out of my normal comfort zone, because it pushes the edges.  I’ve read thousands of books, as my basement will attest, and most are in that comfort zone where you have a transcendent hero/heroine.  Palahniuk throws that all out and says here is someone so deeply flawed that I dare you to like him/her.  I guess this is why people slow down to look at traffic accidents, everyone has a certain amount of morbid fascination or maybe just an appreciation that they are better off than the victims.  I like Palahniuk’s style and will keep reading his books, although I am going to read some more uplifting stuff before.  Reading too much Palahniuk could be depressing.  This Palahniuk effect was compounded by another book I was reading at the same time, The Berrybender Narratives, by another author who revels in less than admirable characters, Larry McMurtry.  I’ll never forgive him for killing off Gus McCrae although that was one of the best death scenes ever.  After a week spent with Palahniuk and McMurtry I need some hopefulness in my life!

Cold Shoulder Amongst Other Extremities

I try to get to the pool at our health club at least three times a week.  I was an okay swimmer in my youth and swam at Division 1 level in college as well as playing water polo.  On Monday I walked into the club and was greeted by a sign saying the pool temperature was down to 70 degrees and that it would be a couple of days before it was back up to its normal 84.  I went down and tested it and decided I would wimp out and wait for the heat to come back up.  I told my wife this last night (a couple of days later by my reckoning) and she said I should call before I drove over.  In my typical male ego mode where I disregard good advice I boldly stated that I would swim even if it was still cold.  Of course the water was still bone chilling cold but I had now painted myself into a corner where I could not slink back to the house admitting she had been right.  When I jumped into the pool it actually took my breath away.  By the end of the third lap my temples were throbbing with the cold.  Eventually I got through the workout and made a bee line for the locker room and a hot shower, hoping my male parts would emerge again.  For those of you who have been really, bone deep, cold before, you know it takes hours before you feel warm again.   I had just about reached that point when it was time to get up this morning.  I woke up to three inches of snow on the ground and more falling.  We were supposed to get a little bit of snow this morning followed by a lot of rain.  The weather dude had confidently said the snow line would be fifty miles north of us.  Not to worry, this was the first time this winter I would get to use one of favorite toys, my tractor mounted snow blower.  Since I had installed this back in November I forgot that I had promised myself that I should tighten the chains on the tires before I ventured out.  I was happily throwing the white stuff around when the tractor ground to a halt with both chains thrown off the tires.  Of course this happened on the hill in the middle of the driveway, meaning there was no way I could move the tractor without re-installing the chains.  Anyone who has ever had to put chains on in the dark will appreciate how much fun this was, oh yeah, the forecast rain chose that moment to start up as well.  I jury rigged the chains to get the tractor back into the garage where I properly mounted the chains and then finished the driveway.  I was by this point even colder than I was last night, soaked to the skin, and bleeding from several cuts on my hands from wrestling with the ice coated chains.  My left arm also wasn’t working correctly – either tendonitis or arthritis when I over use the arm – such as the chain wrestling.  As I walked up stairs my wife came down and said that I was going to be late if I didn’t stop screwing around.  When she got a flat stare back from me, she backed up and asked me what was going on and to please stop bleeding on the kitchen counter.  I told her to look out the window, she then realized it had snowed and asked me if I had gotten the snow blower out yet – another flat stare.  After explaining my early morning travails she said that if she had known she would have had hot chocolate waiting for me.  “Could of, Would of, Should of” as we used to say in the Army.  Buddy, at least was properly supportive, if somewhat unhappy I did not allow him to supervise the chain mounting.  The ride into work was a true adventure dodging “flat landers” who should not be allowed to drive in the snow.  A normal 25-30 minute drive took nearly two hours.  At least the office is extremely warm and the day can only get better and I know there are people that have had it much worse than me today which is kind of scary. 

Hooking and Jabbing with the Bureaucrats

One of the distinct pleasures of civilian life is dealing with medical insurance and the attendant entrenched bureaucracy.  Yesterday I had a very interesting interlude that left a smile on my face, at the end.  For nearly a year I’ve been trying to get them to pay a bill for my wife that they admit they should be paying.  Every time I called they would say, since it involves eye care, that it had to go to this other insurance company they contracted with.  When I called this other company they would say the original company had to pay because it was outside of “routine” care.  I had been increasingly vocal as they played ping pong with the claim, each referring me back to the other.  Yesterday, I received a call from the original company, from a guy I think they use as a kind of “fixer” for these out of the main stream type claim.  He was a hell of a nice guy and asked if we could conference call with this other company.  I said sure as long as he did the set up (my kids were not available to talk me through how to do that).  We waded through the countless computer choices and finally we were talking to a human being.  This new guy says since it was a claim involving the original company’s insurance he would have to transfer us to a “special section” who handles those type claims.  After a few more minutes of canned music while we waited, another person came on the line.  After we explained the issue she started going into a spiel about how she could only reveal certain information.  At this point, the original guy said, hold on a minute.  He clicked off and then returned shortly and told this latest lady to drop off.  He then apologized profusely to me and said that the eye care insurance guy had transferred our call back to his company.  The lady was seated literally a couple cubicles away from his own.  I said, somewhat sardonically, well now you know exactly what I’ve been faced with for the last year.  He again apologized and said it was completely unprofessional (picture me agreeing with this statement enthusiastically).  He said he was going to elevate the problem to his supervisor to get the issue fixed, again, we’re dealing with bureaucrats.  I was smiling because for at least a little period of time this guy was in the shoes of someone dealing with the bureaucracy he’s a member of.  Maybe he’ll be better or at least more understanding in the future.  Life’s composed of small victories – you take them where you can get them.  Yesterday I won, at least until the supervisor level start referring issues to each other.

Reconnecting with the Moatengators

One of the very best assignments I had while in the Army was as a lieutenant in Panama where I served as the executive officer for an airborne infantry company.  The company was nicknamed the Moatengators, which apparently meant a bull alligator during mating season.  It was an apt nickname for a great unit, our slogan was “Gators want some meat!"  We even had several pet alligators (really caimans) in a small pool outside the company; they were fed the occasional stray cat or tree sloth and we even had them parachute with us (mouths taped shut).  Newly assigned soldiers were responsible for cleaning their pool.  It was the only airborne unit around and we wore that as a huge badge of honor compared to the rest of the units on the post.  They hated us but it made us better and the young soldiers that served in that unit were the best I ever served with.  They didn’t complain (too much) about the stifling conditions of operating in a jungle environment and the entire unit had great esprit de corps.  I was recently wandering around face book pages and found one dedicated to the Moatengators and found a picture of myself (with a much flatter stomach).  I was standing on the bar of a less than reputable establishment, which we used to dominate, in Panama City known as the Ovalo.  It was my going away party and all the paratroopers conducted a mock airplane exit off the bar.  As the guest of honor I was the jumpmaster (see below).  As I looked at some of the pictures of the former Moatengators as they appear now I can still see that glint in their eye and bravado that made them such a great team.  I can truly say that is was an honor to have served with these remarkable soldiers and it was terrific reconnecting with some of them through face book.  I had a lot of wonderful jobs in the Army but one of the ones I’m most proud of was having the Moatengators call me the “Airborne XO!”

The Ovalo!  That's Me in the Yellow Shirt on the Right

  

The Guy Holding my Right Arm is 1SG Rock (Really!) - One of Best Men I've Ever Known

Temporally Challenged Weekend

This past weekend there was some kind of time flux going on around my house.  Both my wife and I got the date and times of a couple of events totally screwed up.  She was very late to a baby shower she initially thought was on Sunday and then came downstairs to make breakfast on Saturday and realized she had 30 minutes to get to the shower which was 45 minutes away.  High adventure followed as she tore around the house and then flew out the door.  Fifteen minutes later I was helping her negotiate with the car’s navigation system over the phone.  On Sunday we were scheduled to go down to Rhode Island for my nephew’s birthday party.  I thought it was at 2pm and we received a call at 1:30 from my sister wondering where we were for the party which began at 1.  I was intensely embarrassed and very angry at myself as we flew down to the party, arriving disastrously late.  We later figured out when I received the invite from my sister I told my wife the party was from 1 “to” 3 and my wife wrote down “2” to 3.  I was still extremely disappointed in myself.  Being on time is something I take a lot of pride in.  I actually feel very anxious and out right angry if I am going to be late for something.  This was something of a challenge early in my marriage because I married a Panamanian gal.  Panama is a beautiful country and the people are some of the nicest I’ve ever met but as a culture they are incapable of being on time.  It’s something that doesn’t seem to bother them.  You can only imagine the clash of priorities when my wife and I first got together.  It came to a head early in our marriage.  We were supposed to go to the battalion commander’s house for a party.  As a junior officer, I could not be late, something I reminded my wife of several days before and constantly the day of the party.  As we got closer to the time she was no where near ready despite several warnings that I would leave without her.  She still puttered around and was not ready.  I left without her and arrived on time.  After several days of sleeping on the couch we talked about it and I explained how important timeliness was to me.  She has gotten much better over the years and now gets exasperated when some of her Latino friends exhibit their typical tardiness.  We used to host parties and invite groups of friends from both the military and the Latino friends we seemed to acquire whenever I was stationed.  If the party was at 8pm, by 8:15 all the military friends would be there.  They would start leaving around 11 and that’s when most of the Latinos would be arriving – it made for some really long parties.  The rest of the weekend was very restful.  I even completed the first of the many 1000 piece puzzles that I received as Christmas gifts.  I was proud when I looked the puzzle up and found out it was an “advanced” level difficulty (I don’t know if that meant advanced for kindergarteners but what the hey, I still took a little pride).  The puzzle, pictured below, tugged at my heart because it was of three dogs.  The three dogs in the picture reminded me of Buddy our current dog, and two dogs that died a couple of years ago that we absolutely adored, Skyla and Estrella.  It was kind of eerie and appropriate to have all three together and the picture was an almost perfect depiction of how they would interact if they were together.  I’m sure the person who gave me puzzle thought he same thing, it was a lot of fun putting them together.  My wife wants to frame the puzzle and put it over Buddy’s kennel.

From the left, Skyla, Buddy, and Estrella, together at last

Friday Night's Alright

Last night my wife made plans for us to meet up with some friends in Worcester for pizza and beer.  Friday night is always pizza night and this was a nice change up for our normal routine.  I got home and was told we would be meeting this couple and had to leave immediately.  I was kind of hoping for a little bit of respite but when my wife has a plan - she is not to be denied.  We ended up arriving and waiting for for about 15 minutes for the other couple.  After a half hour the third couple joined us and we had a fantastic time as stories and jokes were flying.  The restaurant was owned by an Italian guy named Luigi is also the hairdresser for all the females in the crowd.  Luigi has reached almost legendary status and he enjoyed coming over to visit where the wives all treated him like a rock star.  He seemed harmless and did send us over a free dessert.  As dinner was winding down and I was preparing to get in the car and head home, still tired from no break after work, my wife and another revealed they wanted the group to head over to another bar where Latino music was scheduled to be played.  The other husband and I agreed that this must have been planned ahead of time by these two.  My wife abjectly denied any such thing and offered as proof that she did not wear dancing shoes, thin evidence in my book.  The guys got revenge when we showed up at the other place and found out it wouldn't be opening for another hour.  Not to be denied the wives quickly shifted plans and we headed to a Japanese restaurant, of all things, where a live band was supposed to be playing.  When we arrived the band was just setting up and after 45 minutes it was clear they weren't really sure how to with several people from audience offering advice.  This became so funny I decided I had to wait and see what they could do.  When they finally did take the stage they all wore 70s era costumes to include some really atrocious wigs.  As anyone in my family will tell you I have no musical ability, whatsoever, but even with that limited ability I could tell these guys were almost historically bad.  There was a high level of unintentional comedy which in itself was kind of entertaining.  This was a group of 20 somethings because as they tried to play 70s music it was obvious they were lost.  Still as we headed home I had to smile because it had been a very entertaining evening.

Female Respect

I was raised by my mother to respect the female gender.  She was a strong willed and very powerful influence on my life.  She was a victim of abuse at the hands of her brothers when she was young and struck out on her own at a very early age.  She was adamant that I, or any other male, should never hit a female.  She made this a baseline of my upbringing.  This was challenging because I grew up with three sisters who tested this edict to the extreme.  Growing up in a female dominated house (even the dog was a female), my father was gone at an early age, had it benefits though.  While I'll never understand females completely, they guard some of their secrets too well, I think I'm a better man because of it.  I have never struck a female, never will, and have complete contempt for any "man" who would.  I raised my own son the same way and I know he was sorely tested by his older sister almost from birth; much more so than I was by  three sisters.  It's a testament to his courage that he never hit her, I know he wanted to.  Saying all this, I find it distressing to watch some of the social "norms" I see in today's youth.  Maybe its a result of more equality between the sexes or a product of of too much rap music (I try to blame most of society's ills on rap music).  There just seems to be a lack of respect, with women referred to in derogatory manner by a lot of young men.  I was in the locker room last night after my work out and two young men came in and started squawking to each other about the women in their lives.  This went on for a couple of minutes, oblivious to anyone else in the room.  They never failed to refer to their women as "bitches" and that what they needed was a good "slap upside their head".   I was seated and facing away from them.  When they said this, I couldn't help myself, I snorted in derision fairly loudly. The loudest of the two then said to me, "You got a problem, old man!"  This was not the brightest thing for him to say at that precise moment.  I stood up, turned around, and gave him the same look I'd given a couple of thousand young Soldiers, the same age as this punk.  I told him, "I don't, but you might." I don't think he realized how much bigger than him I was.  He kind of paled and beat a quick exit along with his other skin headed buddy.  An elder gentleman sitting across the way said thank you as I was leaving.  I felt good because I thought my ability to intimidate had waned with the years.  I thought they might try to jump me in the parking lot but they had beat feet like the cowards they are.  I'm glad I didn't have to explain to my wife how I got into a fight, at my age.  I hope those idiots learned something, I kind of doubt it.

Tree Take Down and Mixed Messages

Last night was the one of the days I dread each year, the day we have to take down our Christmas tree.  I fight doing it until the tree represents a really serious fire hazard in part because I don’t want to let go of Christmas.  I think this tree reached that point last week. I loved coming home and being able to see the tree as soon as I turned the corner.  My wife finally put her foot down last night and the tree was defrocked of all ornaments and I was then faced with the daunting task of getting it outside.  The tree seemed to have enjoyed its stay so much that is had really spread out.  This coupled with a full water basin, since it stopped taking in water shortly after Christmas, made this a challenge.  Buddy was enjoying the adventure and was charging in to assist me whenever he felt it was most appropriate.  This usually meant the worst possible moment for me, but I do love that dog.  After I crawled out from under the tree, I went downstairs and came back with a set of pruning shears.  Three cuts later and the tree was out the back door.  Buddy was a little disappointed with the anti-climatic termination of the fight.  Earlier in the day I made reservations for my wife’s annual return to visit her folks in Panama.  She really does hate cold weather, something she reminds me of semi-constantly.  We had plans to go down to Panama together in March to celebrate our 30^th wedding anniversary along with her parents’ 60^th.  She had been dropping some fairly definitive hints over the last few days (coincidently with a cold front) that she wanted to go down early and have me join her there for the celebration.  So when I came home with her ticket she responded with tears and said she felt bad leaving me alone for so long.  When I reminded her that this was exactly what we had agreed to the night before she said that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to miss me.  This is the confusing thing about dealing with the female of our species.  I go out and do exactly what she asked for and she gets emotional and upset.  She has such a big heart that she was honestly upset but this morning she seems to have recovered (it was 15 degrees outside).  She leaves in a couple of weeks and I’ll spend the time leading up to that fending off light hearted accusations that I have a woman in the wings waiting to come in and warm the bed in her absence (she seems to think they’re lurking in the tree line out back).  I’ll really miss her because she’s a tiny person but she fills up the house and my heart when she’s around.  Buddy, I’m sure, is looking forward to more quality time with me and a certain lack of structure in both of our lives during her absence.

Parades – What’s Not to Like?

I was Actually in this one - I'm standing at Base of Right Flagpole - Yellow Striped Pants

I wrote yesterday about the love I have for parades in general.  I grew up in a small town in New Hampshire where parades took place regularly, Memorial Day, 4^th of July, Veterans Day, a Fireman’s Parade and a couple of others that I can’t recall.  What I can recall are the feelings these parades elicited from a young boy.  Some of best memories I have are of watching these parades make their way through the main streets of my hometown.  I can clearly remember a huge sense of pride when I saw my father, a Cub Scout leader, break ranks from the parade and wave to me.  I think I committed at that time to becoming a cub and then Boy Scout, if for no other reason than it would allow me to march next to my dad in a parade.  That never happened because for some reason he left scouting by the time I was of an age to start, never quite figured that out.  I do remember the biggest highlight of any parade for me was when the Soldiers marched by.  I guess the cosmos was trying to tell me where I was headed but I thought the Soldiers were the coolest thing by far in any parade.  I still remember seeing my first tank in a parade in a different town, it tore the hell out of the pavement – which to a seven year old kid was just simply awesome.  My generation was raised by the survivors of World War 2 and the most popular game I played as a kid was called Army where we would split into two warring factions with our toy guns and stalk each other.  I’m sure political correctness or video games have replaced that tendency.  In the long decades since that childhood I have marched in countless parades, including two presidential inaugural parades.  I have pretty much tapped out the well of actual participation; it is definitely a spectator sport for me now.  For that reason I bemoaned the coverage of parades offered to the television audience.  It has gone the same way as coverage of the Olympics and many other sports.  The announcers talk --- all --- the --- time.  They cut away from the actual parade to give us innumerable background, usually aimed at heartwarming, stories.  This first started when NBC began broadcasting the Olympics and seems to have become the paradigm for coverage.   Two other channels had promised commercial free coverage of the parades but they were mysteriously blocked by the cable company when the broadcast channels had the parade on, hmmm.  It’s almost as if they think we’re tuning in to watch these clever stories and listen to the “trying to make a name for him/herself” announcer (thanks Chris Berman for that) instead of the actual event.  There were a couple of marching units approaching (yes, one of them was bagpipes) when they cut away for some nonsensical story about a band mopping floors to make it to the parade and then John Naber (personal hero of my youth whom I actually met – but I digress) was telling us about the guy in charge of dispatching the marching units.  We end up missing a large percentage of the parade because of these antics, yes, including the bagpipe band, damn it.  My brother in law, a member of the sports media, laughs when I hold forth on the descent of sports coverage into this miasma.  He says, they know you’re going to watch anyway, they’re going after people who wouldn’t watch without this garbage.  Well they’ve gone too far.  I’m voting with my absence.  I still love parades though!