Christmas Glide

At the End of a Truly Great Day -With Some of the People Who Made it Happen
MEG, Son, Daughter, Son In Law, Wife, Me

I am coming down off my annual Christmas high.  This is decidedly not a chemical high but the feeling of family and closeness that is all too elusive for the rest of the year.  The house filled up rapidly yesterday after my last blog post as the denizens of the upstairs bedrooms slowly made their way down.  At 9:30am it was agreed by consensus that I should make the annual “get your ass out of bed” announcement for those recalcitrant victims of Nyquil still refusing to join us.  My sister, one of the recalcitrant, complained that I did not play the 1812 overture this year to accompany the announcement.

We woke to a dusting of snow so technically we achieved a white Christmas which is always welcome.  I had to hurry out and use my snow blower on the dusting of snow before it melted, much to the consternation of neighbors and my wife.

I love sitting back and watching the people I love open Christmas presents – it’s the best part of the day.  I love the reactions.  Seeing the people I love being happy and or surprised is an elixir of the most potent variety.  As usual I received a boatload of gifts that I’m not sure my conduct merits but I have a lots of movies and puzzles to help pass the upcoming two month separation from my wife.  She even conspired with my son to get me a huge new TV which should be delivered sometime in the next few weeks.

Buddy had sniffed out his present, a massive bone, earlier in the week but it was safely hidden behind a wall of other presents so he couldn’t get at it.  Even when presented with it he was a little baffled by the wrapping paper.  He was soon dominating the bone out on the deck.  He also received a squeaky stuffed squirrel which was soon eviscerated. 

I find it hard to believe this is our seventh Christmas in this house. My sister’s family joined us on Christmas Eve but there was a huge hole with my son spending Christmas Eve and morning with his MEG up in New Hampshire.  After daughter created mimosas and fried dough my son and the MEG showed up to complete the family gathering. 

A couple decades ago I (and the fellow male members of the family) volunteered to cook the Christmas dinner due to the lack of timely delivery by the female population.  Yesterday I cooked the normal two turkeys (one gluten free for my sister) and aided by both my son and son in law delivered the meal on time.  As the years have progressed I find that this task may be becoming a little too much for me, combined with the rest of the day.  The last couple of years I find myself absolutely exhausted by the time the meal is served.  The rest of the day I have to fight to stay engaged and miss out on some of the favorite day of the year for me. 

The good thing is that I have adequately trained the next generation.  Next year I may come up with a new plan of attack where I’m responsible only for the turkey.  I know I have to do something but I’m reluctant to concede anything to my age.

My Keene friend showed up in the evening and the day was complete.  We booby trapped his present, making it hard to open, sealed with reams of tape in the same fashion he had routinely done to us over the years.

My sister and her family had to leave for home shortly thereafter and I felt a real sense of loss when they left.  I didn’t want Christmas to end but here it was happening again. 

As I stated above, Christmas is all about traditions, connections to the past.  The mimosas and fired dough were legacies of my mother.  My father used to cook the Christmas turkey as well.  My Keene Friend always spent Christmas night with us (although he usually showed up a lot earlier).  My daughter is even into the second decade with her Christmas sweater.  Traditions evolve though and new memories are made.  My son in law has truly become part of the family and I love having another son.  I think the MEG is still kind of feeling her way around us but she is a fantastic addition to the group and I really like the way my son is around her.  We also video chatted with both Panama and Rhode Island throughout the day - who'd have imagined that, even just a few years ago.

Just before my sister had to leave we were sitting next to the now barren Christmas tree, stripped of its foothold in our presents.  We reminisced about Christmases past and how important they were to our mother.  She said, “Mom would have loved being here today”.  I could not think of higher praise and a thousand memories rushed into my head.  I’m sometimes very tough on my mother in my own mind so this was the best gift I received all day.  Thanks sis.

Opening Presents

Buddy Seeking Guidance

Me Making Sure the Driveway is Clean Before it Could Melt

Daughter Approved Mimosas

Buddy Trying to Figure out the Bone

Success!!

Son in Law and Daughter (w/ the famous sweater) Surrounding my Brother In Law
Really my Brother in Heart and Soul

The Son and MEG Arrive!

A Group of the Finest Young People - Anywhere

Son in Law Knocking Out Some Spuds

Me Carving on the Christmas Turkey

Christmas Dinner

My Very Wise Sister

Keene Friend Trying to Overcome the Wrapping

Merry Christmas Everyone -
I Hope Your Day was at Least Half as Fun as Mine

Christmas Reaching

A Great Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas to all!!!  My favorite day of the year has arrived.  I’m sitting here in a very quiet house (except for the two dogs) on Christmas morning, smelling the turkey cooking, and reflecting how different this is from times when I was young and most especially when the kids were young when the crack of dawn was followed by insistent awakenings.  We’re all older now and appreciate sleeping in but a small part of me misses the frantic descents from the bedrooms to the long anticipated session around the tree. 

This is the first year our son was not with us for Christmas Eve and there was definitely a hole in the fabric but my daughter, son in law, and sister’s family ably patched it last night.  Earlier in the day I went in for a short session at work where some of my employees surprised me with a huge basket of chocolate chip cookies – Merry Christmas indeed.  I then went to get the stiches yanked out of my neck and ear – about as much fun as it sounds.  I have an infected ear that will require some antibiotics for the next week but I no longer have to wear the neck bandage which made me feel like a healing Frankenstein’s monster.

We went out see Jack Reacher yesterday afternoon which I was dreading a little bit.  As earlier noted Reacher is one of my literary heroes and I didn’t think there was anyway a pipsqueak like Tom Cruise could carry off the man mountain character of Reacher.  I was pleasantly surprised because he did “get it” and accurately captured the Reacher attitude.  It wasn’t a great movie, but it was a smart crime thriller and that’s never a bad thing.  Reacher’s legacy is intact.

We convened at home awaiting the arrival of my sister’s family and watched what has become our Christmas Eve tradition of Love Actually.  A smart movie that celebrates the importance and pervasive quality of love in the human condition – I kind of like that.

It really seemed like Christmas Eve when my sister arrived.  Buddy had his cousin Bailey to charge around the house with which happened immediately.  We humans took up station around the kitchen and proceeded to catch up.  This is the best part of Christmas for me.  Sitting around a table with the people I love most in the world and just flat enjoying each other’s company.  I hope you who are reading this are afforded the same opportunity – it is the elixir of the gods.  Merry Christmas!!!

A Basket of Cookies from my Employees - Well Alright!

He Somehow Pulled it Off!

Buddy Antlering Up for the Holiday

My Wife Making Chrismas Eve Brownies for My Son In Law

My Daughter, Brother in Law and Sister Last Night

My Wife and her Panama Bread Talking to Family
She Trusted me Cooking this While She Went to Church
Sharing her Amazement with Family

Biting Back Bile

Lucky Win

Yesterday should have been a whole lot of fun.  I had my daughter and son in law to watch football with, it’s the day before Christmas Eve, the Patriots were playing one of the worst teams in football, and like I said, the day before Christmas Eve.  I was eighty percent right.

After a true slugfest at the supermarket buying the “fixins” for my annual Christmas dinner extravaganza I settled in to watch the Patriots dismantle the lowly Jacksonville Jaguars.  This is a team the Patriots dominate even when they have good years, which is not this year.

Unfortunately the Jaguars didn’t get the memo that they were supposed to lay down and die.  For the second week in a row the Patriots defense came out completely unprepared.  It seems like they have a plan that is totally destroyed each week in the first series and then there’s a scene of Belicheck coaching up the defense and they play okay for the rest of the game.  If I was Matt Patriarca, the nominal defense coordinator, I wouldn’t be making plans for any head coaching interviews. 

After a terrible start himself Brady found his rhythm and led the Pats back to what seems more like a loss than the joyless victory it was.  The Patriots were lucky in this one.

At least I got to watch the game and subsequent Red Zone with two of my favorite people.  I am astounded that my daughter, who used to regard football with disdain, has become a true fan.  I don’t play fantasy football myself but that’s made a fan out of her.  I love that it gives us something to share and we had a lot of fun yesterday.

Buddy also assumed his normal position sitting on the couch with me.  He loves the Christmas time when the couch is moved closer to the window and he can survey his domain.  The rest of the day did not go as swimmingly for a certain black lab.

A little after dark the doorbell rang and Buddy went into his usual paroxysm of enraged indignation.  I always thought this was cute because he’s usually very friendly to guests.  I held him back as I opened the door and the doctor from across the road dropped off some pumpkin bread.  This is usually the only time of year I talk with him.  He extended his hand for Buddy to sniff since they know each fairly well.  Buddy took the opportunity to bite the doctor’s hand, breaking the skin.

This is the first time Buddy has bitten anybody and I was completely mortified.  Buddy has made me angry before but he’s never disappointed me on such a fundamental level as last night.  I was in shock.  I know he has mental issues like deep seated fear of weird things but he’s never been aggressive before.  This really took the gas out of what had been a superb day to that point.

I went to bed early since I was getting up at 4 am to do the annual meet and greet with the early morning crew at work on Christmas Eve but I couldn’t fall asleep because of the shock from Buddy’s unprovoked attack.  This was compounded around midnight when the carbon monoxide alarm outside the bedroom started chirping.  I thought it was just weak batteries and my wife brought up some recently purchased batteries.  The thing kept chirping after I installed the batteries and all of a sudden things became a little more serious.  My daughter and son in law whipped out their I-phones.  My daughter shortly had a check list of things I needed to check while my son in law downloaded the owner’s manual for this type of alarm (they’re pretty cool to have around). 

After completing the checklist the damned thing was still chirping and my wife wanted me to call the fire department (not going to happen).  Standing there in my skivvies I took the damned thing out onto the deck in the fresh (and very cold) air where it continued to chirp.  My son in law noticed the “fresh” batteries my wife bought actually expired in September. 

Since it was now 1am I decided I wouldn’t be in for the earliest portions of the meeting and greeting.

My Football Posse Yesterday - Best Part of Day

Buddy Surveying His Domain
Before His Fall From Grace

 

Christmas Progression

These Two Are a Lot of Fun To Hang Out With

Yesterday flew by as it is wont to do when I am surrounded by the people I love.  My daughter was struggling with her annual Christmas illness.  She could healthy all year long until the holiday season when for some reason she inevitably finds herself under the weather.  Luckily she inherited her father’s ability to rally and after a slow morning she accomplished a lot.  I think her mother liked the opportunity to play “Mom” again, complete with chicken soup. 

Our son is still up in New Hampshire and probably could have benefited from his mother’s ministrations as well.  His afflictions were self-inflicted though.  He has apparently lost the ability to speak, sacrificed to the demon – alcohol.  He claims it was due to all the yelling with his friends to be heard over the band playing in the bar he was in Friday night.  My wife nodded sagely at the text we received from him explaining this.  I’m guessing she was ascribing this behavior to another talent passed on from the father (myself).

We did get out to see, This is 40, the newest Judd Apatow movie.  It supposed to be a kind of sequel of Knocked Up with the focus being the crazy sister and her family this time.  The fact that the sister is played by Apatow’s wife, Leslie Mann, probably helped in that decision.  It was kind of a family reunion as the children playing in the movie were their real life children as well.  Paul Ruud plays the husband.

The movie had some really funny moments but overall was extremely uneven.  It jumped around trying to figure out what it was going to be about.  First it tried to be about a woman’s challenge of turning forty, then paternal issues, then problems at school, and even some Megan Fox eye candy scenes for no reason whatsoever. Apatow has become so successful that no one is telling him to cut scenes that should have been cut to make the movie keep up its pace.  Of course, it could have been he didn’t want to go home at night and explain to his wife and/or daughters why he cut their scenes.  I can completely understand that.  It was still fun watching with my wife, daughter, and son in law.

We returned to the house for a completely outstanding pot roast dinner (the height of English cuisine and a personal favorite).  My wife has the ability, with an almost magical application of understated spices, to lift this normally mundane fare into something really special.

My daughter, rallying again, and son in law headed out for the evening to a Christmas party in Connecticut hosted by a college friend.  It was kind of cool letting “the kids” borrow the car again to party on a Saturday night while we waited at home; kind felt like being parents again.

My wife and I (well more me than she) decided to watch the Santa Claus movies starring Tim Allen.  These are guilty pleasures but we still thoroughly enjoyed them.  We watched the first two with a bandage changing spliced in between. It was a quiet night but waiting up for the kids return again transported us back to a time long gone but cherished none the less.

Not So Much

Me, Walking Around with my Phone
My Wife says I Never Put Unflattering Pictures of Myself on the Blog
She Doesn't Read it Very Often

My Daughter Caught Gathering Strength Yesterday

Success!!!!!

Heading Out to the Connecticut Party

Christmas Officially Starts

So Good to Have them Home

So we all survived the Mayan apocalypse, yet another lesson in not taking Hollywood too seriously.  It’s crazy how a wild ass theory based on the thinnest of archeological records is given life by a major motion picture and suddenly has thousands of adherents claiming the end is near. 

Yesterday I was sitting through another interminable arbitration session for an employee we terminated back in April (almost wishing the Mayans had been right).  I was a witness because I did the investigation which resulted in his termination.  There was only one problem, I had to pick up my daughter and son in law in New Haven that afternoon and that was decidedly more important to me. 

As the lawyers went through my investigation line by line the time oozed by as slowly as this past Monday on the Mohs table did, with almost as much pain.  During a break I mentioned to the arbitrator that I needed to pick up my daughter and several times after that he told the lawyers to move along.  I finally escaped and the best boss in the world actually gave me a ride back to the office so I could get on the road.

My daughter and son in law are the only motivation that could possibly entice me to dive into holiday week Connecticut traffic.  Maybe everybody stayed home for the apocalypse because we flew through the Nutmeg state and arrived with time to spare at the New Haven train station.  I utilized a new short cut that I won’t talk about because I don’t want to share it with anybody.  Let’s just say Hartford is no longer the soul crushing obstacle it used to be.

Watching two of my favorite people walk out of the train station really kick started Christmas for me.  We mounted the Highlander and headed home.  We blazed a new trail escaping from New Haven because we had noted a huge traffic jam on our normal escape route.  We found a fantastic short cut – something of a theme last night.  I think we made the best time ever getting back up to Massachusetts.

We had considered going to a cousin’s house for a party to welcome home his daughter but my daughter was not feeling well (another Christmas tradition).  We settled for a lively dinner of mystical pizza at Zorbas where we caught up with each other. 

My daughter and I revealed our answers for who should be cast in a movie of The Stand.  She recently completed reading this, one of my favorite books of all time, and we challenged each other to cast a new movie that is currently in pre-production.  You can see our respective lists below.  

We tried to do a face time phone call with my son and caught him in mid-debauchery.  I was glad to see him surrounded by friend as they celebrated the season with each other. The call was short because I think the operation of a phone was beyond his mental prowess at that exact moment.

The real winner of the evening was me because I am now surrounded by some people I really love and that’s what Christmas is all about.

The Stand Competition

Character – Stu Redmond – my choice – Matthew McConaughey – daughter – Tom Hardy

Character – Frannie Goldsmith – my choice – Carrie Mulligan – daughter – Jessica Chastain

Character – Randall Flagg – my choice – Daniel D Lewis – daughter – Christian Bale

Character – Mother Abigail – my choice – Alfre Woodard – daughter – Ciceley Tyson

Character – Larry Underwood – my choice – Josh Brolin – daughter – Michael Pitt

Character – Glen Bateman – my choice – Robert Duvall – daughter – Wallace Shawn

Character – Nick Andros – my choice – Joseph G Leavitt – daughter – Michael B Jordan

Character – Lloyd Henreid – my choice – Nicholas Cage– daughter – Sam Rockwell

Character – Harold Laudner – my choice – Jonah Hill – daughter – Paul Dano

Character – Trashcanman – my choice –William H Macy – daughter – Jackie Earl Haley

Character – Tom Cullen – my choice – John Malcovitch – daughter – Ed Norton

Character – Nadine Cross – my choice – Michelle Williams – daughter – Liv Tyler

Character – Ralph Bretner – my choice – Tommy Lee Jones – daughter – Eric Taylor

We decided the only clear winners were me for Randall Flagg and her for Lloyd Henreid.  We both had a lot of fun with this and considered a lot of the same actors before discarding them for our final choices.  I love that kid.

Winner for Randall Flagg
Seductive Evil

Winner for Lloyd Henreid
Reluctant Evil and Chaos

 

Spousal Adventure Day

Christmas Party and Abundant Pizza

My wife can sometimes amaze me with her capacity to get things done, usually dragging me into her efforts.  Yesterday was a prime example of this ability. 

After a board meeting first thing (always an eye opener), I spent the entire morning ensconced in my office with a team of co-workers putting the final touches on the major scheduling exercise for January.  This was followed by the in office Christmas parity where I had way too much pizza (if that is even possible).

My wife called around noon frantically declaring she had been trying to reach me all morning.  Since I was attending the board meeting I put my cell phone in silent mode and when I glanced down I noticed I had missed seven different calls from her (This could not be good news).

She had been involved in a minor car accident with her brand new car.  She was waiting for a parking space at the post office when some moron backed into her from a parking space.  Luckily there was no damage to her car and only a rubbed spot on his.  He got out of his vehicle and went first to check the damage on my wife’s car (sure sign he knew he was at fault). 

When he started talking to my wife he immediately picked up on the fact that she was Hispanic and all of sudden was trying to make it seem like this was her fault.  He called another redneck over and loudly claimed she had backed into him.  He even offered to let her pay for the damage to his car without having to go through insurance.  She felt a little intimidated but they were picking on the wrong Latina.  She stated she had insurance and they would let them handle this or they could call the police.  He quickly demurred on police involvement and after exchanging information they both went on their way.

As soon as I got home she insisted we call the insurance company.  As usual USAA was the absolute best.  They took a statement from her (after telling me to shut up) and said they had the information they needed if this bozo tried to claim she was at fault.

She had used the day to expertly paint the hallway I wrote about yesterday and once again proved that her taste is so much better than mine.  It looked great and is a huge improvement.  I helped by finishing off some of the high spots she couldn’t reach.

She then roped me into helping her make a couple dozen empanadas for our soon to arrive children.  We followed this up with another four dozen Christmas cookies, especially for my daughter who arrives today.  I was then instructed to go through several thousand photos on the computer and find some pictures of her friends. Once I had found some she reviewed, made the selection she wanted and then instructed me to send them to Wal-Mart.

So to review, yesterday my wife – was in an accident, mailed all our Christmas cards, cleaned he three guest bedrooms/bathroom, applied two coats of paint to the hallway, wrapped a dozen presents, filed an insurance claim, cleaned the basement, cleaned a desk, made both empanadas and Christmas cookies, Skyped with her family Panama, hung pictures in the newly painted stairwell, ordered photos, and supervised me.  Like I said, amazing.

Basement Stairs Before

Basement Stairs After

Mission Complete

De-“Micky”ed at Last

Much Smaller Bandages At Last

Last night I was finally able to remove the mongoso pressure bandage from my ear and neck.  Yesterday afternoon approached agony not because of pain but the damn things were itching like crazy.  I’m fairly certain that scratching a fresh skin graft is probably not recommended but I was “sorely” tempted (sorry about the pun).    

I rushed home and jumped straight into the shower, as recommended by the nurse who applied the bandage. She must own stock in the medical tape company because it was pretty intricate.  I removed the neck bandage fairly easily but the ear thing was a true challenge.  That thing must have weighed ten pounds when it became soaked. 

When I finally did get it off I checked to make sure it didn’t take a part of my ear with it.  I finally saw what my ear (or remnants thereof) looks like.  If you’ve ever seen a piece of liver pummeled into paste – well there you go. It was kind of grotesque (but cancer free I’m told).  I’m fairly certain my anticipated career as an ear model is kaput.  My wife applied hydrogen peroxide (fun) and a thick layer of vaseline before applying thankfully much smaller bandages.

While I was trying not to scratch my ear earlier in the day I had to sit through another day of technology training.  My operations manager and I finally got to poke the egos of all the “young guns” that are responsible for deploying the technology and making it user friendly for us dinosaurs. 

The trainer was teaching us one way to do something when I leaned over to my operations manager and said, “Watch this.”  I then asked our company techo whiz kid and the representative from the company providing the technology that this didn’t seem like what they’d been telling us.  The whiz kid jumped up and started a self-important lecture complete with white board illustrations for us “idiots”. The company rep (smartest person in the room) was smart enough to get on her cell phone and get a straight answer from the home office. 

After ten minutes the whiz kid gave me my opening by saying “This is what you are thinking!”  I then proceeded to read him the riot act (I was gentle) where I explained to him that he shouldn’t venture into that territory and that he had missed the point completely.  The smart gal got off her phone and acknowledged there was a problem with what was being taught.  I was then able to tell them this was the base of our frustration. As smart and tech savvy as they all were – they did not have real world experience in getting things done outside the electro-magnetic spectrum.  Basic coordination and talking with each other seems to take secondary importance to chasing the latest “cool” innovation down a rabbit hole.  To make something work “in the real world” they needed to coordinate with each other before foisting it as a completed product.  The operations manager gave me a high five and the itching subsided for five minutes.

Speaking of itching, my wife has been after me for a couple of years to paint the stairwell leading down into the basement.  I do not share her passion for this project, so it hasn’t been done.  She’s right (of course) as this is the way we use to come in the house 95% of the time and is the only wall in the house the remains in the condition we found the house. After my hurried shower I noticed everything was moved out of the stairwell.  I know she wasn’t asking me to do it with my limited neck range of motion (my story and I’m sticking to it).

It turns out she wanted to paint it herself and just needed my help acquiring the paint because she deemed the dozen cans of old paint we had as inadequate (translated – not the color she wanted).  Since I no longer looked like a recovering Elephant man I “volunteered” to help her with that and we headed over to Wal-Mart.

It was there that I met Christian, a very nice abut exceedingly insecure recent immigrant from Africa.  He was in charge of the paint section.  My wife chose a color and then disappeared to see what kind of further damage she could do shopping.  Christian was nervous about using the machine which mixed colors but with a little prodding he figured it out.  He nervously put the paint can and added the colors the computer told him to.  After retrieving the can from the mixer he opened the can to find exactly the right color and produced a dazzling smile of relief.  I got the impression this was his first foray with the machine and to achieve success made his day. 

Life’s about small victories, Christian had his with the color machine and I had my mine with the techno geeks.  A good if itchy day.

Site of Wife's Project