Where to Begin

The Girl Who has Pirated My Soul - The FBR

I’m going to tell the past few days mainly with pictures because words are severely inadequate to express how much fun I had serving as the FBR’s footman for the past few days. It was more than worth the price I paid upon my return (more on that later). Since my daughter was escaping to the wilds of the Catskill Mountains with a bunch of gal pals I was summoned to provide babysitting services to the redoubtable FBR. Needless to say my role evolved quickly to the subservient status noted above as the FBR brooks very little in the way supervision. She takes after her mother in that regard.

Examining her Offerings Upon my Arrival

I arrived with my usual token offerings to acknowledge her magnificence. This is a role usually left to my Favorite Panamanian but I actually scored a couple hits. The most well received gift was a Disney Ariel doll that swims when it comes in contact with water. I made the rookie mistake of showing up without batteries but the FBR summarily directed Wingman to procure the needed power sources. She was delighted with the moving tail and used that to wake me up each of the remaining mornings I had in New Jersey. I spent the nights in the newly remodeled basement which Wingman has turned into a great lair.

The Ariel Hit

I squired the FBR to her Saturday morning gymnastics class which also featured a mid-session potty break that did not please her instructor. Said instructor very tartfully informed me that students were expected to take care of this business before class. I put on my helpless grandparent personae so I didn’t take her head off and end up incarcerated. The FBR blithely handled business and I had the sneaking impression this was all planned in her three year old mind to break up a monotonous part of the class. This is my theory at least.

Mickey Mouse Pancakes

Since Wingman was still sleeping from his very late Friday night at work we journeyed to the FBR’s favorite diner for brunch after gymnastics. The FBR had her signature dish of Mickey Mouse pancakes and acquitted herself with some distinction. The diner was directly across from a bus garage (I cannot escape them) and we maintained a very accurate and somewhat excited census of every bus entering and leaving the garage.

A Christmas Present Puzzle we Worked on Together - Smiled the Whole Time

Back home I was inducted into the FBR’s circle of gaming which involved a new fascination with a Concentration like card game of her favorite cartoon characters, the Paw Patrol. I was just a rookie while Wingman already knew the names of each dog featured.  The FBR has inherited her dad’s luck and skill when it comes to gaming because she dominated me throughout the weekend. She did have a tendency to change the rules to her advantage whenever she felt the need but Wingman would always adjust.

Dinner (and cards) at Wingman's Place

Saturday night we went out to dinner at the new restaurant Wingman is working at. It’s a multiple story affair with three different bars – be still my heart. It’s obvious how well Wingman is thought of there as nearly every employee swung by our table to greet him. The FBR must be used to the paternal acclaim because she took it all in stride while inveigling me into yet another round of Concentration while we waited for our food.

Imagine That Even had a Fire Engine

The Princess

Sunday was a very full day indeed. We spent a fantastic few hours in the morning at a children’s activity museum called Imagine That. The FBR was a blur of motion incorporating multiple costume changes as she motored around the facility, going from princess to pirate to tutu equipped tap dancer. We were joined by another couple members of the second generation of Curbside as their mother was also Catskill ensconced with my daughter.

And the Pirate

And Tap Dancer

The FBR dominated a climbing gyms that was recommended for five year olds. For the first couple passes she said she needed a boost for several spaces that were just beyond her reach. Wingman and I talked her through how she could do it herself and once she learned that she was truly off to the races, clambering up repeatedly without even thinking of asking for help. I was so proud of her.

Lunch with 2d Gen Curbside 

Conquering her Fears

Never looked Back

Sunday was also conference championship day in the NFL and Wingman had invited a group of neighborhood friends over for the games along with their children. This composed mostly of the other fathers left wifeless by the Catskill trip. He expected it to be pure chaos once all the children arrived and he was absolutely correct. I could not have been happier, mainly because I was, as a grandparent, not directly responsible for riding herd over any individual so while each parent had to keep an eye on their charge I was blissfully capable of just enjoying the pandemonium and the football.

Channeling her Inner Wingman

The house looked like a small nuclear device had gone off by the time everyone departed. That departure coincided with the Patriots’ game which was one for the ages as the Pats won their way back to the Super Bowl for the third year in a row. It was a great game fraught with lead changes and wouldn’t be decided until overtime. The evil genius Belichick once again devised a game plan that had the Chiefs on their heels in the waning moments as a stronger, more physical Patriots team pushed their way relentlessly downfield for the winning score. Somewhere in Western Pennsylvania yet another piece of the Steelers’ fans’ souls was taken. The best part was watching the game with Wingman. That was a great part of the weekend as well as I’ve had too few opportunities to hang with my most excellent son in law over the past few years.

Chaotic Football

Life of the Party

Aftermath

Yesterday dawned all too soon regretfully because it marked the day of my departure northward. I hung around until just past mid-day so I could at least see my daughter who returned with tales of being the fire building expert for the group (insert apple and tree comment here). I knew I would be facing a hefty price for my vacation from Worcester as a major storm that was nearly all rain in New Jersey had dumped twelve inches of snow on my house and followed that up with a  day of freezing rain and a deep freeze. As I drove north I started seeing the snow build up higher and higher. A good portion of Connecticut was encased in ice. It was like driving through a crystal forest for most of the Merritt Parkway. That faded was I neared Worcester but a real treat awaited me.

What Awaited me

I eased to the side as I approached my house to find a three foot snow bank street side and the aforementioned twelves inches staring me somewhat tauntingly. The real fun was stepping outside into what turned out to be the coldest day on record for Worcester for that date. The temperature never got above 0 all day and the wind chill (remember we live at the top of a hill) at minus 26. So I had that going for me. I ended up having to break the top layer of ice ahead of the snow blower to allow it to move the accumulated mess. It was a lot of fun as a fairly inauspicious way to end what had been a delightful spell. Still, more than willing to pay that, or any price, for the time spent with the little sprite that has so thoroughly conquered my soul.  

Tired but Happy Afterwards

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RECURRING CHARACTERS                                           

BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rdmusquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting arrival of the BRS; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Deckzilla Dude – senior citizen carpenter/contractor; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues

Escapism

I Get to Join the Crowd

This is the potentially the last blog post for a while because my direct association with either of my granddaughters precludes wasting time on something as mundane as writing. I have been summoned to the south to spend the long weekend with the FBR. My daughter has a weekend long social event while Wingman still has to work. That means I’m being left to hang out with the FBR – I think jigsaw puzzles and serial viewings of Moana are in my immediate future. I’ll also have to up my energy levels if I have any hope of keeping up with the relentless FBR.

It will also be cool to hang out with Wingman when he’s not at work. His work schedule over the past couple years have prevented him from accompanying his gals when they come north except for Christmas. I’ll have to do an inventory of my electronic devices to see if I need any additional training. He’s just a great guy to hang with – hence the nickname.

Mother Nature is also cooperating with my travel plans. I’m driving down tomorrow and returning late on Monday due to the holiday. A major winter storm is blowing in late on Saturday and pummeling the area all day Sunday lacing it with some freezing rain between snow falls. We could get anywhere from a foot to over three feet of snow. Luckily I live in New England which knows what to do with such an event. I figure no matter how much falls, by Monday afternoon everything should be cleaned up to allow safe travel home. If this was Northern Virginia it would be at least a week.

My driveway will be another story as this will mark the first significant snowfall of the winter. The aforementioned Virginia has actually received more snow than we have this winter. It’s time to embrace the suck. I just hope this winter doesn’t follow that of a few years ago when we received no snow at all in January and then were pounded relentlessly with a storm every three days from February into April. At least it’s not the driveway from hell which brings back nightmares of returning from a Panamanian vacation to spend four hours clearing just to get into the house.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS                                           

BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rdmusquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting arrival of the BRS; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Deckzilla Dude – senior citizen carpenter/contractor; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues

Acquisitional

FBR Celebrating

A lot was going down yesterday which prevented any further ramblings here. I was at the house babysitting the final phase of the renovation as the shower glass and large mirror were finally installed in the new bathroom. I contracted with a local, family owned glass company and was rewarded with a real sense of customer service. My contribution to the effort was watching the Princess Bride on the television while these guys worked. I’ll do some sort of compilation of the entire progress from start to finish at some point the near future but this was the last major muscle movement and I could not be happier.

New Shower Glass

And Mirror

My wife was also on the move down in Panama as she took possession of the car we contracted for during our last visit. We basically changed the proceeds from the sale of our land into a new car, a dark blue Toyota Rav4. My wife was a little overwhelmed with the aspects of insurance and the surrounding details but she had her twin sister and friend along as her “lawyers” and they apparently did yeoman (women) work. My wife now doesn’t want to drive the new car because she’s afraid to damage the pristine nature of the car, especially given the vagaries of the typical Panamanian traffic maelstrom. She’ll have to though because she’s heading down to the condo today to supervise the hanging of yet more mirrors as well as sundry other repairs to get the condo ready for its biggest party yet in February when the entire family descends on it.

Wife with Her (Our) New Car

There’s been a lot of noise about people (men) being upset with the new Gillette commercial which takes men to task for treatment of women. I cannot for the life of me see what is so upsetting about encouraging boys to be brought up to respect women, to be better versions of themselves. This falls into the category of “me’thinks thou doth protest too much”. While there is reason in some men to generate this bone deep guilt, most men should be self-confident enough not to take offense. I’m going to go out and buy some Gillette razors.

Daddy-Daughter day re-emerged down in New Jersey yesterday and it looks like the FBR gave Wingman a true run for his money. He discovered a new indoor playground/activity center called Imagine That. From the pictures he sent it doesn’t look like the FBR stopped for a breather at any point during the day. She was still excited when I caught up with them at dinner. Wingman admitted his energy levels were no match for the hyper-kinetic FBR.

The Relentless FBR Yesterday - All at One Place

I also had a great conversation with my Favorite Son last night where he shared some very good news. As I get older I find it harder and harder not to burst with pride at the accomplishments of my two “kids”. They make me proud each and every day and I’m still astounded at the adults they’ve grown into being. Especially given they were forced to hang around me for their formative years. The BRS shared my opinion on her dad although at this point his most important function for her is serving as a climbing tower. She looks to be taking her first steps any day now.

BRS - Oh Dad!

For a dateless Date Night I decided to take in a horror movie which my Favorite Panamanian would not have accompanied me to anyway. Escape Room wasn’t so much a horror movie as a thriller and its biggest shortcoming was a lack of thrills, so a pretty big failure. It was a good premise with a group of survivors of previous tragedies summoned to a Chicago building for what is supposed to be a game of escaping rooms laced with clues to win $10K. It very shortly turns into a deathly challenge for survival. It would have helped if they spent more time developing the clues but the whole affair seemed very rushed as if it was more important to get to as many room as possible instead of trying to connect the audience with the players. There were only a couple players worth rooting for anyways and the final third of the movie descends into gaping plot holes. An interesting premise, wasted.

And the FBR is still going.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS                                           

BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rdmusquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting arrival of the BRS; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Deckzilla Dude – senior citizen carpenter/contractor; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues

Pat Smack

Son and BRS Watching Game Yesterday

The New England Patriots certainly contributed to assuaging the beginnings of my isolated existence for the next few weeks. They laid an absolute smack down on what was supposed to be a very good Chargers team yesterday to advance to the conference championship game for the 8^th year in a row. Somewhere in western Pennsylvania yet another self-important Steelers fan contemplates self-destruction. This was the Patriots team we all thought/hoped existed somewhere in the frightfully inconsistent 2018 version.

This meant a full afternoon and evening down in the Man Cave watching Phillip Rivers dissolve. I’d spent the morning finishing up my spot painting project in the new addition. I finally connected with my Favorite Panamanian just before game time. That turned out to be a good thing on a number of levels since I wanted to show her the progress I’d made (always in search of validation). As I walked up the stairs I noticed there were several drops of white paint on the hardwood floors. She probably wondered why I kept stopping as I surreptitiously cleaned up the offending spots.

Next Gen

Loves Having Daddy within Climbing Range

FBR Braving the Cold

She finally arrived in her home town after the flight delay and hotel stay in Panama City. She was safely ensconced on her mother’s front porch telling me how beautiful the weather was while I told her about our 14 degree weather. I heard Northern Virginia received over a foot of snow which means that place in effectively paralyzed and not just because the Twitterer in Chief has everyone out of work.

Not Too Busy to Hang with Buzz and Woody

I connected with both granddaughters yesterday. It was good to see the BRS is being brought up right and ably garbed in Patriots gear. She invented a “new” game while eating which involved taking a big bite of food and then spraying it as far as she could see. I don’t think my Favorite Son and the ABFA shared my amusement of the results bt my daughter only nodded sagely when I reported this, remembering the FBR’s similar meal time antics.

New Basement in New Jersey

The FBR was entirely too bus to devote any time to a mere grandfather as she was busy hosting some of her own friends. Wingman recently completed his makeover of what had been a pretty desolate basement. He even created a play area for the FBR which I’m sure will become a favorite play spot. I’ll get to see it firsthand later this week as I report for babysitting duty for the upcoming weekend, isolation be damned.

The FBR Area

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RECURRING CHARACTERS                                           

BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rdmusquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting arrival of the BRS; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Deckzilla Dude – senior citizen carpenter/contractor; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues

Encroaching Solitariness

Yesterday was a day I was dreading and not just because I had to get up at 4am. The biggest reason was the annual winter migration south of my Favorite Panamanian to the warm climes of her homeland and our beachfront condo while I become a frozen geographic bachelor. This is hopefully the last winter that I don’t immediately accompany her but that’s for the future to know. It was appropriately and bone chilling cold for our departure which only served to solidify her resolve to flee for the beach. We have this deployment down to almost a science and I felt something of an expert as I wended my way through the Logan Airport traffic stream that can baffle a newcomer.

I returned home to the larger house which made it seem even emptier, if that’s possible. My wife has a tendency to occupy a lot of space despite her miniscule stature. A couple hours later I received a call from her which was weird because she should have been over Florida by that point. There was a mechanical problem with the plane and she didn’t take off until almost 11am, three hours late, having spent that time in the airplane. This caused her to miss her connecting flight to her final destination but Copa put her up in a five star hotel in Panama City and she was last heard from last night partying with her younger sister and cousin. She had an early morning flight up to David this morning and I’m waiting her hear she’s arrived there.

I employed my usual tactic of staying busy to counter-act the incipient sadness. That meant taking the stack of paint cans I’d set aside to do the spot painting still required in the new addition. There’s always the small spots that need attention after the tape is pulled off or Deckzilla Dude banged something hard up against the wall when he was moving it or if he accidently cut through a wall into an adjoining room. After cycling through five different colors of paint I declared victory and immersed myself in playoff football and cooking a pot roast for the week. When that didn’t help I tried an escape to the movies. It’s funny how much of my life is intertwined that that little bundle of Latina energy.

The movie was Replicas which has Keanu Reeves portraying a brilliant bio-engineer, Yes you heard that right. Despite his well-earned status in pop culture as a less than honored thespian I’ve always considered Reeves a sneaky good actor. This however was definitely too much of a stretch as he teamed up with the guy from the Verizon commercials to clone and then transfer the brains of his dead family into the clones. Yes you heard that right so maybe Reeves’ acting ability wasn’t the only thing stretched here. This could have been a good movie if they’d tightened up the pace in the middle act as we’re left watching Reeves watch his cloning pods for way too long. In the end the inevitable evil corporation raises its head to bring up the needed action filled climax. I kind of liked this despite the all too gaping plot holes. Maybe it was because I hoped this kind of science was possible.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS                                            

BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rdmusquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting arrival of the BRS; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Deckzilla Dude – senior citizen carpenter/contractor; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues

Redemptive Friday

The first full work week of the 2019 careens to a close today and I lucked upon some very good news. I was in dire need of same since tomorrow I become a geographic bachelor again for the next three months as my Favorite Panamanian heads for warmer climes as winter descends upon us. The good news - I decided to see if I had enough miles built up yet with my favorite airline to buy my own ticket with those miles. I’m flying down to Panama for a couple weeks in mid-February for one of the most anticipated vacations in recent memory as both the FBR and BRS will be coming down along with their parental units.

If that wasn’t lofty enough to maintain morale I had just enough miles to buy the needed round trip ticket. The kicker is that when they provided the available flights it was the same “price” for both coach and business class – talk about a no-brainer! So, if this trip wasn’t enough joyful enough based on the people I’ll be spending time with, flying business class both ways certainly helps send it into the stratosphere. With the final bills from Christmas and the renovation coming due this month it also helps in that area.

So, it seems all those flights to Panama over the past few years to hook and jab with the bureaucrats finally generated a silver lining. The very cool thing is Copa is one of the few airlines that still treat passengers as valued customers instead of meat to be packed in and then tolerated. Readers of Frail Deeds know that the First Friday of the Week already packs a significant morale punch for yours truly so this may just be enough not to send me too deep tomorrow as I send my better half off to sunny Panama.

I took her out to dinner last night and she’s coming by for lunch today before joining me for the ceremony marking that First Friday of the Week at Brew City. We’ve both discussed how much more difficult these separations have become with our advancing age (at least for me – my wife never seems to age!). I think we’ve actually grown to like each other as well as love. I always tell people going through a rough patch in a marriage that, for me, it was really worth sticking it out because these past few years have been some of the best of our marriage. This will hopefully be the last solo winter she spends down in our new condo. If all goes according to plan I’ll be on the same flight with her next year with a couple months of retirement already under my belt. All depending on the good Lord willing and the river not rising.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS                                           

BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete = my daughter in law, formerly known both as MEF – Most Excellent Fiancé & MEG – Most Excellent Girlfriend; Wingman – my son in law; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt = my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Pittsburgh College Roommate – high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rdmusquetera (musketeer); Buddy – AKA the Wonder Pooch – family dog, a black lab – hates squirrels, died in 2017; Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog, surrogate grandchild while awaiting arrival of the BRS; PanaGals – female relatives/friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Excellent Boss – my former direct boss at work; Deckzilla Dude – senior citizen carpenter/contractor; Voices of Inappropriate Worth - members of public who come to every Worcester public meeting to complain, all are on public assistance along with demeanor issues