Entrenching Tools

Old Friend

Any infantryman will tell you they have a love/hate relationship with his entrenching tool.  That little shovel is called upon to dig fighting positions as well as a thousand other minor tasks including service as a last ditch weapon.  When I left the Army I was kind of looking forward to never having to dig again (not that I dug a lot of holes near the end of my career – other than figuratively speaking).  Little did I realize that my wife had designs on utilizing my well honed burrowing skills in her ruthless garden expansion campaign.

Every year as spring rolls around I find myself digging up sod as yet another section of the lawn falls to her insatiable desire to plant more flowers.  Last night I was planning on finishing up her latest target area when she emerged from the garage with a length of white rope to mark out yet another objective – cue the heart sinking.

My Wife Marking Out Her Latest Victim

Apparently one of her existing gardens has tall plants that need to be moved to the back and vice versa.  To accomplish that it only made sense to double the size of the garden.  I got to work on that while she completed her annual task of creating the hanging baskets for the front porch.  I complain about the work but I’m always amazed at the result – she’s got real talent.

Me and the Aftermath

My Wife's Reluctant Photo with her Flower pots

Buddy did his part by keeping an eye on me and counseling any joggers that passed by.  He earned his way inside when he tried to participate in the neighbor’s ball game.

Buddy Last Night Keeping an Eye on Things

I’m not the only one in the neighborhood digging though.  I’ve written earlier about the downhill house construction that continues with a roof starting to take shape amidst the mounds of dirt.  This weekend similar mounds of earth appeared uphill where something else is being built.  It’s too early to tell but it might be another house, so I’m surrounded by piles of dirt – almost like being back in an infantry defensive position, although less well camouflaged. 

Downhill - Roof Going Up

Uphill Piles of Dirt

The Uphill Project

We were both exhausted when we headed in to watch the Red Sox to see how they responded to their lost weekend in Texas.  They looked equally lost in the early innings but rallied for an extra inning win despite the further deterioration of their once vaunted relief corps.  The unlikely hero was Stephen Drew who before last night was approaching his brother “Nancy” in the hearts of Sox fans.  A solid win coupled with a signature Bruins win in hockey crazed Toronto – a good, if ibuprofen laced, night.

Not-Nancy Gets Mobbed

I finished up my latest excursion into the extremely troubling world of Chuck Pahlaniuk by reading his most famous work, Fight Club.  I found the book in the basement with my daughter’s stuff when I was cleaning up this past winter and finally tackled it.  I’ve seen the movie so I knew what the big twist was which robbed a little bit of the emotional impact.  This was one of Pahlaniuk’s earliest works and you can see he was a little less polished than in some of his later works.  I hesitate to use the word “polished” about anything he writes because it is always so raw and visceral.  I liked the way he takes on modern society and the “neutering” of political correctness in this book but he makes his points, as usual, by driving a railroad spike through the reader’s forehead – typical Pahlaniuk – I loved it.

 

Sojourning Sunday

Yesterday saw my wife and I in severe recovery mode from our Saturday night frolicking with the Panamanian mafia.  It was a glorious day outside but that was strictly for people whom sunlight did not pose intense sensory feedback for.  Buddy was similarly distressed, paying for his trick of knocking over unguarded beers and gratefully consuming the spillage. 

Sox End a Lost Weekend in Texas (been there)

After knocking out our normal Sunday chores we plopped down in front of the boob tube to watch the Red Sox try to salvage one game in Texas and a couple of movies.  The movies were better than the Sox who seemed genuinely intimidated.

When I drove into work on Saturday I passed by a street demonstration in the Main South area of Worcester.  This was nothing remarkable as there’s always something being protested in the People’s Republic of Massachusetts, usually by people already on the public dole looking for more money from people who actually work.

The Street Demonstration

When I read the newspaper yesterday I learned the protest concerned the dead Boston bomber whose body was in a Worcester funeral home.  I guess I can understand the anger.  The mortal remains of that idiot deserve the Dench treatment from the Shipping News but I thought we were better than this.  At this point it’s just a piece of meat that needs to get planted.  An unmarked grave known only to the family can and should happen once everyone stops trying to get their fifteen minutes of fame off the situation.

Sunday Couch Potatoes

My wife and I did unveil our recently purchased Boston Strong t-shirts which saw the money generated go to the victim’s fund.  We also enjoyed phone calls from both of our far flung progeny which did more than anything else yesterday to lift our spirits. 

By the end of the afternoon I was sufficiently recovered to continue on my de-sodding of one of my wife’s future garden sites.  Since I had so much fun with my driveway project last week I started in on the other side removing rocks and replacing them with the displaced sod.  Buddy assisted by picking up his first tick of the spring.  Kind of a Sunday to forget.

The Latest Victim of My Wife's Remorseless Garden Expansion Campaign

Saturday Sizzle

Yesterday did not get off to an auspicious start as I had to go into wok to ensure the weekend crew was not up any shenanigans.  Everything was as it should be although I did get an e-mail from one of the board members (he of last week’s emperor’s no clothes vignette) where he revealed some of the details of his botched colonoscopy – way, way too much information.

We had the Panamanian Mafia coming to the house for a cook out and camaraderie so my wife was in high cleanup and cooking mode for the entire day.  She had a laundry list of things I was supposed to accomplish which appropriately enough started in the laundry room.  (She did bribe me with her usual excellent Saturday supply of chocolate chip pancakes)

In Search of Elusive Plastic Parts

She had been forcing the door to the closet open which screwed up the doors.  My job was to figure out how to make them work again.  I located the problem and began fixing it when a small, but vital piece of plastic popped out, ricocheted off my forehead, and headed for parts unknown behind the dryer.  This meant I had to move the machines out and find the small piece in the detritus left by a machine that hadn’t been moved in seven years.  That was fun.

After hanging a picture and a couple of other equally vital tasks I was released to take on the lawn mowing.  The first lawn mowing of the year is always an adventure based on the unpredictability of the machine (Sears again) and the very thick spring grass.  The mower started right up but I noticed that the mower blades were not real level and there was a this god-awful clanking sound coming from the mower bed (I see a visit from my beloved Sears techs in my very near future).  The grass was so thick that I had to mow it twice at decreasing levels just to get it close to acceptable.  I did get the lawn mowed although it was not a work of art and offended my sensibilities (I’m weird that way). 

The Barely Acceptable Lawn

The extra time required to get the lawn done prevented me from assisting the wife in the house (silver lining there) as she frantically charged around the already very clean house – cleaning.  As always, everything fell into place – she is the ultimate in party hosts.

She did make an effort at social engineering with her invites.  She told one habitually late couple one time for the party and a punctual couple the right time, figuring they would arrive at the same time.  This kind of backfired as the late couple was punctual this time and vice versa. The habitually late couple was so confounded at being the first ones to a party that they thought they had the day wrong and sat in the driveway for a while.

My Wife and the Mafia

It was a fantastic, bright afternoon as we sat out on the deck and caught up with the rest of the mafia whom we hadn’t seen since before my wife’s January departure.  Buddy alternated between stints in the cage and experimental party attendance.  His stints in the cage came from his unrefined love of low lying snacks.  He did achieve parole once when we needed a cleanup from a snack spill.

Great Friends

It was simple fare of burgers and sausages but the company was fantastic.  Someone mentioned it was almost Cinco de Mayo which sent my wife to the basement where she emerged with several large Mexican sombreros.  Since they were self-respecting Panamanians they didn’t put too much importance on the Cinco de Mayo stuff but it gave us another reason to joke and enjoy the day.

Sombreros Came Out!

My wife suggested a fire as the light started to fade and I leaped into action before she changed her mind.  (actually it was a semi-tame jump versus a leap)  I soon had a fire blazing as we gathered around to continue the extremely funny conversation.  These are great friends and it had been way too long since we’d spent time together.  The Panamanian gals all had to don blankets despite the fairly prodigious size of the flames.  We gringos didn’t need the blankets and used a cell phone app to find constellations as the stars seemed close enough to touch on the clear spring night. 

Just A Small Fire to Start

We ended up spending a couple hours and three loads of wood around the fire.  I defended the wood piles against Buddy’s typical raids to rescue them and also succeeded in not burning down the deck.  We finally decided to give the neighbors a break and headed inside around ten PM to say our goodbyes.   I had to stay up and keep an eye on the coals as they slowly faded into the night.

A Truly Great Evening

There is something almost primordially comforting to sit around a fire with good friends.  You know people did this thousands of years ago and it must be part of human nature.  The real heat last night didn’t come from the fire though – spending time with good friends provides its own form of warmth and things were toasty last night.

The Mafia

Friday Fizzle

Yesterday was Friday which should have been cause for intense celebration and frenetic partying (New Orleans kind of ruined me).  As it was this was much more on the mundane side of things which I blame on the lack of Roothuggers.  My boss was recovering from an ailment so there was no First Friday celebrations at Brew City.

Contradiction in Terms

There was some extremely good news at work though concerning the idiot employee from earlier in the week.  We had been talking with the union about his lack of a future in this industry and made an off hand offer allowing him to resign.  Proving that he is not graced with a great deal of grey matter – he took the deal!  The end of his employment with us is cause enough for celebration.

My Wife Outside Zorba's

I had to make do with our weekly ritual at Zorba’s which in no way is a bad thing.  My wife looked ravishing in a newly unveiled (apparently my 2018 mother’s day gift for her) outfit.  She went from sweat pants to looking like this in less than twenty minutes which had me wondering why she couldn’t do that on a more regular basis.

Zorba’s was typically awesome and so was my dinner partner.  The waitress told us our order before we said a word – so we’re predictable, so what.  My favorite cute waitress also stopped by to say hi and looked incredibly fetching with a yellow bow and extremely tight pants (not that I noticed).  If I was thirty years younger and unmarried I would be in hot pursuit.  As it is my wife gave me a stern warning look and we moved on.

Wife Shortly After Administering Warning Look

We left Zorba’s to continue our hot date which in this case meant going to Stop and Shop to buy necessities for today’s gathering of the Panamanian Mafia.  The cute gals from the bank called out to say hi when we passed by and asked how we were doing.  I somewhat caustically replied, “It’s Friday night and I’m at the grocery store – draw your own conclusions.”

Yep, Friday Night at the Grocery Store
Obviously Not Picking up Anything For Me in that Section

My wife mollified my concerns as to our “coolness” by demanding a trip to Ronnie’s for ice cream.  We had to wait while a squad of teeny boppers tried to make up their minds while simultaneously texting up a storm.  During the wait my wife started up conversations with two other patrons and by the time we left had made two new friends.  I don’t know how she does it.

In the Ice Cream Line

The day came to a crashing halt when we returned home and made the ill fated decision to watch the Red Sox come crashing back to earth in Texas.  The Rangers sent a very clear message that maybe this team isn’t as good as we thought.  It’s just one game and it will be interesting to see if they can bounce back and be more competitive over the weekend.

Ouch!

Planter - My Final Chapter

Yesterday was the nicest day of the year that we’ve had so far – of course that’s not saying a whole lot.  2013 may go down in history for a lot of things but good weather will not lead the list.  It is tough to have such a glorious day and be trapped behind a desk.  New Englanders typically overreact to the coming of warmer temperatures - guilty.

I did sneak out a little early from work because I had to buy the dirt to fill my wife’s new planter.  I didn’t realize there were so many choices in dirt and not all of them cheap.  I filled up a cart at Home Depot choosing a connoisseur’s blend of garden soil, top soil, and topped it all off with a combination of hummus and manure (I’m not kidding). 

I got the bags loaded into my Camry and noticed that the effect of nearly 700 pounds of dirt in the trunk.  I felt like a homeboy driving a low rider as I cautiously made my way home with the fragrant farm yard bouquet of my load wafting through the car (my daughter would have loved it).  I used the neighbor’s driveway to gratefully unload the dirt next to the planter.

My Wife and the Planter Filled With my Special Blend of Dirt 

My wife was pleased as I filled up her planter until she realized that I fully expected her to start stocking the new planter.  She called for the creation of this thing and now she had work to do – poetic justice rippling through the hills of Charlton.

Definitely Not A Happy Camper

Since it was such a nice day Buddy was summoned for a frightfully overdue bath.  He took it with stoic grace if not good humor.  I put him on the deck to dry off and he immediately demonstrated his feelings by defecating right in the middle of the deck.

Of course the next task I had in front of me was moving the winter stored furniture back onto the same deck.  I swear I caught Buddy smirking as I cleaned up his deposit.  The weather took an amazing turn while I was in the middle of moving everything with the temperature dropping twenty degrees in less than a half hour – 2013 up to its old tricks again.

Deck Furniture Returns!

My wife and I took in yet another Red Sox win up north of the border although it was a frustrating game to watch.  Neither pitcher seemed to be able to find the strike zone and were not being squeezed by the umpire.  The Sox put together enough timely hits (yes I just said Sox and timely hits in the same sentence) to win the game and the series from a very underachieving Blue Jays team (they remind me a whole lot of last year’s Sox team).  So 2013 isn’t all bad.

I'm Liking this Napoli Guy - Scoring Last Night In Toronto

Okay – Well, That Went Well

Yesterday started out with some extreme drama at work.  I was acting general manager and when I arrived in the morning I found that one of my subordinate managers had fired one of the employees.  He was more than justified based on the employee’s imbecilic behavior but there is a process codified in our union contract that has to be followed in these situations.

Emotions were running high when I told the union business agent I would support the manager and he stormed out of my office.  My subordinate manager was equally emotional when I told him he failed to follow the correct steps. 

Tough decisions are called for daily in the Army and a senior commander once told me, “Nothing I tell you to do is personal”.  That is probably one of the most important things I learned during my service and I’ve taken that approach with me into the civilian world.  You need to remove personal feelings from professional situations. 

This Is Not Personal - It's Business!

While this particular employee made that a very tough standard to meet (he should be drawn and slowly quartered) I eventually convinced the manager he had screwed up by immediately firing the guy.  We’ll bring him back after a healthy suspension and union can brag they saved a guy’s job while they think I did them a favor.  Ain’t politics grand? 

My Son Yesterday

Luckily, all this drama was followed by my weekly lunch with my son which has the effect of making everything seem okay.

I returned home planning on taking my wife out for another date because the previous night’s movie had been such a bomb.  I was a little torn because both the Bruins and Celtics had playoff games while the Red Sox were also playing.  I could care less about the unwatchable NBA but I really cared about the other two.  On the other hand I’ve made a promise to myself to de-emphasize professional sports’ ability to determine my personal schedule. 

Buddy Not Sure He Approves of Planter Location

We took some time to move the planter into its permanent location.  Buddy was a little miffed that we gerrymandered part of his special area.  He doesn’t use that section but it will require him to cut down on the circumference of his sniffing decision cycles.

And Big Cast

We went to see The Big Wedding which had about as big a superstar cast that I’ve ever seen in such a small movie.  The plot involved an adopted Latino son who’s marrying Amanda Seyfried at the home of his adopted father, Robert Deniro and his companion, Susan Sarandon, along with his adopted mother Diane Keaton, in a ceremony officiated by catholic priest Robin Williams.  I did say it had a big cast, didn’t I.  My wife and I really enjoyed the movie because we’ve lived a lot of the inside jokes of combining WASP and Latino families.  Katherine Heigl was finally good in a movie as the rest of the cast seemed to elevate her performance.  While the movie was funny there were almost too many stars because I think the director tried to give everybody their own special moments and the result was kind of a mess.  It was a near miss and one with some really funny moments, as well as a very memorable swimming scene.



Threefer - Sox, Bruins, and Celts All Win

We returned home at breakneck speed so my wife could meet her novella time line.  I apprehensively turned on the television to find Boston was absolutely skull dragging the professional sports teams of Toronto.  The Red Sox were destroying the Blue Jays while the Bruins were dominating the Maple Leafs on the ice, finally showing the ability they’ve kept well hidden for the past month.  Oh yeah, and the Celtics staved off elimination by beating the preening Knicks in New York City.  So it did go pretty well.

Downhill Construction Progress - Windows in Styrofoam

 

Painful Gain

Yesterday saw my return to my daily run after trying to coax the knee back into some sort of health.  The run itself, while painful due to the long layoff, went well, at least until the last quarter mile.  Well, I’ve got an appointment next week with an orthopedic doctor.  Getting old can suck, at times.

Pass on This

Since last night was date night we went to see the movie, Pain and Gain, which was kind of painful without much to gain.  Some really charismatic movie stars trying to portray moronic thieves and murderers can be a real stretch and it was here.  The “heroes” of this movie, portrayed by Walberg, the Rock, and Anthony Mackie are just too likable to be the completely idiotically loathsome guys they’re called on to.  I kept trying to glean some redeeming facet for any of these bozos but it never came through.  This movie was marketed as a dark comedy and it really wasn’t.  It was something between a docudrama and a crime drama since it was based on real life events.  It didn’t work despite some top notch efforts from the actors.  Ed Harris as a detective who brings these idiots to justice looks like he’s a hundred years old.

Working around the date I completed the planter project my wife conspired to get me to do. I’m semi-proud of how it turned out. (see photos below) My wife now claims it’s much bigger than she anticipated but I could see her planning on what plant goes where.  She said it looked like some of the beds in Panama and in a telephone conversation with her mother  I was being volunteered to build beds in Panama. She helped me carry the planter out of the garage where I promptly fell flat on my face trying to go up our little hill.  Luckily the planter survived the fall, testimony to its stout workmanship.    

I also finished my latest book yesterday, Countdown:  M-Day by Tom Kratman.  It was a very well written military thriller set in the not too distant future featuring a war of aggression by Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez against Guyana which is thwarted by a mercenary unit headquartered there and led by retired US military dudes (no wonder I liked it).  It was a fascinating look at both the strategic and tactical levels of war and the searing human cost of war itself.  The author and I served in Panama as lieutenants together and we both married Panamanians.  I clearly remember sitting on a balcony overlooking Panama Bay at a going away party singing military ballads with him (I think beer was involved in the effort). 

The Framework Goes Up

It Does Kind of Look Like a Bed

The Final Framework Added

Mission Complete with Garden Fabric Lining