Oscar B-Slap, Haunted Hills, and Another Canyon

As the Cantankerous One’s visit is winding down, we took off on another mountain adventure yesterday which included an unintended trip into the central cordillera. Before we get to the details of yesterday, I have to mention the Oscars, because, well, I’m sure everybody else is. I am often accused of being a little too invested in the cinema world, to which I plead complete and utter guilt. Therefore, the Academy Awards Ceremony is one of the biggest events of the year for me, even though they’re in one of their “only artsy films need apply” phases. I was blessed this year with the ability to see the ceremony after last year’s fiasco due to the magic device I received for Christmas. I watched the event from start to finish and was totally pleased with the wins for CODA, so well deserved. Dune also did very well which gave me hope the academy actually watches popular films in addition to the ones only my daughter and film critics do. I enjoyed the ceremony up til Will Smith decided the rules and law don’t apply to him. His bitch slap of Chris Rock is all anyone will talk about coming out of these Oscars which is true shame.

Cantankerous and I Overlooking Boquete

I’ve only visited L.A. a couple times but I was left with the lasting impression of permeating self-importance and pretension. This is a perfect example of that as Smith has been chasing an Oscar for years and cried when he deservedly wasn’t even nominated a couple times. What should have been a transcendent moment for him was ruined, by him. I’m sure the publicist world is ramping up an apology strategy aimed at giving him a pass but I’m not sure he deserves it. I’ve always been a Will Smith fan but he should have ben ejected moments after he attacked Rock. Let’s see how serious the Academy is about allowing this type of “bullying”, so publicly expressed. The only cool moment was in his acceptance speech where Smith relayed some great advice he received from, predictably, Denzel Washington, “In your highest moments, be careful, that’s when the devil comes for you.” It certainly did for Smith. In probably the biggest news of the night I actually tied my daughter for correct predictions (13) instead of my usual humiliation at her hands. Dune helped a lot.

CODA's Big Win - Great Movie

Comparing Late Night Nots with Daughter

Daughter and Visiting Friend

Now as to more topical events; yesterday we took the Cantankerous Friend up into the mountains of Chiriquí again. Anyone who visits Chiriquí will inevitably end up in the mountain town of Boquete and yesterday was the Cankerous Friend’s turn. I love visiting Boquete and not only for the much cooler weather. It’s just a very cool place on a number of levels. It also is the only place in Panama that reminds me of my beloved New England with brooks churning over stones in a number of places. Hitting Boquete on a weekday turned out to be smart as traffic and the always challenging parking was no problem at all. After the obligatory photo stop at the bluff overlooking the valley Boquete is nestled in, where he met his first ever coatímundí, we drove through the town to explore the surrounding hills and coffee plantations.

Valley Street Invades Boquete

The Coatimundi - Panamanian Racoons

Wife and I Photo Op

We stopped by the famous basalt cliffs and made our way to the haunted mansion which was being overseen by a very curious horse. This large ruined house has long been part of the Boquete legend for which my Favorite Panamanian offers a different story each time. The house sits by one of those roaring New England-like brooks I mentioned above. We headed back towards town and stopped by a picturesque roadside waterfall surrounded by soaring cliffs on both sides.  We stopped for lunch at Donde Giselle, a really nice restaurant, just above the center of Boquete.

The Basalt Cliffs

With Favorite Panamanian 

The Haunted Mansion

One of the Roaring Brooks

Closer to Mansion

The Curious Horse

Roadside Waterfall

Cantankerous and I in front of Fall

Our Traveling Partner

The Cantankerous Friend continued his culinary depredations on Panamanian cuisine here. My Favorite Panamanian is reveling in finally having someone with us who truly appreciates and tries all the national dishes she is justifiably (apparently) proud of. They had a ceviche appetizer, which, as I am led to believe, consists of raw fish. You’ll understand my lack of knowledge on what it tastes like. Cantankerous loved it and with my wife’s assistance ordered a main course that came wrapped in a large leaf. I had a ribeye steak which I felt was a lot safer. As usual the Cantankerous One cleaned his plate which brought the inevitable comparison to my own situation from my better half. I had a bit of revenge as we hit up the gelato place for dessert at my wife’s urging despite the fact she has given up sweets for Lent. I did clean my plate there.

Donde Gisele - New Favorite Boquete Eatery

Cantankerous and His Ceviche

Panamanian Cuisine

Cantankerous Adventure Eating

Cleaned his Plate, er, Leaf

Gringos Eating Gelato

Our post lunch destination were Los Cangilones de Gualaca. These are yet another set of small canyons that the mountain streams have cut in the hills of Chiriquí. My wife was suitably impressed that I remembered a way to get there by cutting cross country through the back roads. (That impression didn’t survive the entire day, see below) We had made the trip once about ten years ago with her wife’s cousin driving us. The added benefit was there was another road from Gualaca that would put us a third of the way back towards the beach. We arrived at our destination with no problem and found the weekday attendance much less than prior visits. We changed into bathing suits in the car and paddled around the refreshing water while surrounding Panamanians cast curious gazes at the invading gringos.

At the Cangliones

Wife Overlooking Chasm

Cantankerous at Canyon Mouth

We were all set for a pre-sunset return to the beach. That is until my recollection of the turns I had to take were not as iron clad as I led myself to believe. We were about ten minutes out of Gualaca when I started to get nervous because we were obviously heading deeper into the Panamanian central mountain range and I clearly remembered the road I remembered taking was fairly flat. My Favorite Panamanian was of little assistance as this was not an area she was familiar with. We had spectacular views as we ascended further into the mountains and after another ten minutes even I was willing to admit I was going in the wrong direction. I think the final straw was seeing the mountains to my left starting to descend towards another body of water. That would be the Caribbean Sea.

Wife and Cantankerous Swimming

I pulled a U-Turn in front of a house where a lady was grilling in her front yard and my wife confirmed what I had already guessed. Instead of heading towards the Pacific, I had us on the road to Bocas del Toro. She said we had to return to Gualaca to find the right road.  Twenty minutes later we were on the right road as I was twenty minutes into a lecture from my Favorite Panamanian on my error. The Cantankerous One was a good sport about the whole side trip as we tried to tell my wife it had offered us a chance to see part of Panama that was beautiful and had never seen before. She wasn’t buying it and I told my friend I would be paying for this for a few months. He refused to believe this until my wife enthusiastically confirmed it.

Fireside Again

Long, But Fun Day

We arrived back at the beach just after what I’m sure was a spectacular sunset. Our day wasn’t over though as we arranged for the caretaker to prepare a bonfire for us. This was yet another tradition realized for Cankerous and I as we always ended our 1960’s York Beach vacations with summer ending bonfires along the beach. I hoped to show Cantankerous the fabulous star field on the night time beach but a hazy night prevented it. We have one more chance tonight. It’s been so much fun having my friend along for the past week, even with unintended side trips.

Beach This Morning

Wife Took Pictures from Balcony of Our Boogie Boarding

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RECURRING CHARACTERS                                           

BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3, BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd musquetera (musketeer); Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn

Lunch Parrots, A Frontier and a Canyon

The Cantankerous One and I have been kept moving by a very determined Panamanian over the past couple days as my wife has endeavored to show my friend as much of the province of Chiriquí as possible. In my eyes (and taste buds) the Cantankerous Friend made a mistake when he revealed he wanted to sample as much of Panamanian cuisine as possible during his trip. I could see the wheels turning in my Favorite Panamanian’s head, “challenge accepted!’.

Cantankerous Friend, My Wife, and PanaGal at Macho de Monte

Friday that meant a trip down the beach to visit my wife’s favorite Las Lajas eatery, Plinio’s. He had met some of Plinio’s denizens the day before during our morning time on the beach. Plinio has six or seven large dogs and they have a tendency to take off down the beach, cavorting in the waves and generally living the life of Reilly. As we were sitting in the shade, all of a sudden, a friendly dog stuck his nose in Cankerous’ arm. He was surprised and then I pointed out the other six dogs wandering around the complex, taking a drink out of the pool before heading further down the beach. I should mention at this point that Plinio’s is more than three miles down the beach, so this was a wide roaming bunch.

Cantankerous and I at Plinio's

Sleeping Dogs, We Let them Lie

We arrived at Plinio’s on Friday and found the dog pack back home and soundly asleep in the shade, mostly underneath Plinio’s truck. As we were waiting for the food one of Plino’s parrots walked up to the table and took up residence on my wife’s hand. He was obviously a ladies’ man because he didn’t want to have anything to do with either me or my friend, snapping at us if we tried to get close. My Favorite Panamanian had a very funny conversation with the bird as he responded to her description of food. He eventually strolled over to a nearby bush and started eating that which caused Plinio’s wife to come running to relocate him back to his roost to save the plant she was trying to grow.

Wife and her Friend

Trimming the Bush

My wife encouraged Cantankerous to try the fish and he looked a little taken a back when the fish was served looking back at him. The fish is cooked in its entirety, minus the insides, and my wife revels in it. To his credit he downed the fish and all accompanying side dishes. He’s giving me a very bad reputation here with his dedicated eating habits. I am only guessing that my wife’s family thought all Americans were as picky an eater as I am and Cantankerous is certainly putting a lie to that myth.

First Friday Sunset

Bring on the Dancing Girl

First Friday on the beach was a little shorter since my Favorite Son was once again sole parenting his wild bunch while Wingmom was in charge of the FBR in New Jersey. Wingman had arranged a surprise reunion with one of my daughter’s best friends who was visiting from California. It was a timely reunion since we had been talking about this friend recently as we always give my brother-in-law a hard time for his videographic fascination with this friend during my daughter’s wedding reception. My Favorite Panamanian joined Cantankerous and I for the sunset and brought her music with her which soon had her dancing in the sand.

Cantankerous and I in Costa Rica

With Wife and PanaGal

Border Area

Yesterday was adventure day. We left the beach in the morning heading for Costa Rica. We stopped off in David to pick up one of the PanaGals to accompany us. That turned out to be a smart move as she knew her way around the border area which was our destination. The Panamanian-Costa Rican border is kind of a scruffy place but we wanted Cantankerous to able to say he visited another country. There is a line of shopping malls (I know – danger, considering our traveling partner) set up along the border. You go in on the Panamanian side and walk out on the Costa Rican side, no passport control. Cantankerous got a kick out of the fact we ended up shopping in a duty free store on the Costa Rican side which was actually a Panamanian store. It didn’t make a lot of sense but that’s what the frontier is like.

Lunch in Concepcion

I was eventually able to pry (and I mean literally) my Favorite Panamanian out of the store and we drove back into Panama. We stopped off for lunch in a Concepcion restaurant that the PanaGal located via google search during our drive back from the border. It was a great lunch where Cantankerous scored yet even more Panamanian food and ate everything on his plate. Damn it! The ladies were delighted to compare my plate, left with a burgeoning amount of vegetables, with his. That is kind of getting old and, of course, Cantankerous loves it.

First Part of Macho de Monte

We headed up into the mountains on the road to Volcan and turned off short of that town to try and find the Canyon de Macho de Monte. I’d heard about this place but had never visited it. We stopped where the map said it was and walked up a trail that led to what looked like a waterworks project where the river had been diverted into a concrete channel. We had logged this down as a failed trip when as we walked back, I noticed a small trail leading in the jungle. The old infantryman in me couldn’t resist. In very short order I found an overlook onto an impressive chasm.

The Jungle Trail

With Cantankerous Overlooking Gorge

Canyon de Macho de Monte

A couple of young Panamanians showed up with climbing equipment and our two ladies started a conversation with them. They were nice young guys from David and were enthusiastic in telling the story of the canyons we were overlooking. One of them offered to guide us down to the mouth of the canyon which involved a steep climb down and then some serious rock hopping. This was another case of engaging in activities someone our age probably should eschew but it was a lot of fun. The young guy helped the ladies steady themselves across the rocks and we reached the head of the canyon which was occupied by a lively group of young Panamanians. They looked at our gray-haired group as some sort of alien invasion but tolerated our presence. It was a great adventure.

Our Guide

Rock Clambering

Mouth of Canyon

Cantankerous and I commented that a high school friend of ours who still loves to climb up and down cliffs would have loved the rope climb down that the two guys set up (for them, not us). She would have been in her element. Cantankerous’ feet have been taking a beating with all the beach time and the rock climbing in bare feet embellished this issue. He bore it with good grace. We drove down out of the mountains to host my wife’s family for dinner at one of our favorite David restaurants, Gallardo’s. The Cantankerous One once again cleaned his plate which my wife’s family pointedly remarked on while looking at my salad laden plate.

Dinner at Gallardo's

So, a very fun day traveling around Chiriquí and Costa Rica. My wife “volunteered” to drive back to the beach since both Cantankerous and I had imbibed at dinner. We had a genuine scare about halfway home when the rear of a tractor trailer truck loomed out of the dark in our lane while we were going about sixty miles an hour. It was moving slowly and had absolutely no rear lights. I yelled to my wife and she expertly guided us around this very dangerous situation. Our hearts were beating rather vigorously though. Night driving in Panama is not for the meek of heart.

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RECURRING CHARACTERS                                           

BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3, BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best Family Athlete - my daughter in law; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great Aunt - my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten whom I reunited with after many years; Pittsburgh College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3^rd musquetera (musketeer); Riggins - also known as the Grandpuppy, son's dog; PanaGals – female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia member, Favorite Panamanian - the wife (of course); First Friday – celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her single days in Brooklyn