I believe I can say without hazarding
contradiction that the pub crawl returned in spectacular fashion this past
Saturday. After a meager 2020, 2021 scored yet another victory with an
extraordinary birthday pub crawl back in my hometown. While the usual suspects
were out in full force, we were joined for the first time by the Pittsburgh
College Roommate who played hooky from his duties as a minor celebrity to join
us common folks for an afternoon of adult beverages and some serious laughter.
 |
| Post Crawl - Keene Friend, Myself & Pittsburgh Roommate |
One of the keys to success for this
annual afternoon of excess in the base of a solid lunch. Yet another tradition
has sprung up over the past few years designating 5 Guys as the pre-crawl lunch
location. While I never turn a blind eye to a burger, 5 Guys also means we are
assured we can get in and out in timely fashion in order to make, in Army
parlance, LD time, for the crawl. (Note for civilians - that means Line of
Departure time, a critical time in attack planning). At any rate, after link up
with Keene Friend and my Favorite Son, we arrived at 5 Guys and were shortly thereafter
joined by the Cantankerous One.
 |
Pre-Crawl Lunch at 5 Guys with Cousins, Son
and the Cantankerous One |
Earlier in the week I had to tell my
cousin that we wouldn’t be making the trip up to her house for the traditional Thanksgiving
dinner due to granddaughter Covid concerns. Apparently, they heard through the
grapevine (Frail Deeds) that I would be in Keene for the crawl. They
volunteered to stop by 5 Guys to get the day off to a great start. I hadn’t seen
them since Thanksgiving 2019 so there was a bit of catching up to do around hamburger
destruction activities. I was so touched they made the effort. Great Aunt planned
on being there also but fell victim to her own complete, well documented, lack
of timeliness. As we were wrapping up lunch, she and Soxfather were just
passing Fitchburg.
 |
| Cobblestone |
We made LD time, arriving at the Cobblestone
Pub precisely 2 minutes before the appointed hour of 1pm and high school classmates
shortly began arriving. In short order we had a very fun group assembled. I set
a new record by spilling my very first beer on myself. That usually has to wait
for the third or fourth stop on the crawl; it was a portent of things to come.
Kindergarten Friend, our usual Keene pub ambassador, was playing nursemaid to
his wife after a knee replacement operation earlier in the week, but he snuck
away to join us for a couple stops. The tardy Rhode Island couple also made their
grand, delayed entrance here. Due to past years of broken promises we all had
been giving the Pittsburgh College Roommate an inordinate amount of guff,
disbelieving he would actually show, even after he sent us a picture from Cobblestone
at 730am that morning. I complimented him on his photo shopping ability. He was
rushing around the area trying to accomplish hometown return requirements as
well as pay tribute to a departed friend so he was a little late arriving at Cobblestone.
He was rightfully greeted as a returning hero when he did walk in.
 |
| Lab 'n Lager |
We took a more leisurely pace this year
since there was a reduced number of bars involved. We moved across the street at
the Lab ‘n Lager where we immediately seized control of our usual window seat.
There was a youngish couple who moved across the bar away from us and later
came by to apologize, saying this was their first time out since the pandemic
began and were a little freaked out at the size of our group, not to mention our
activity. Have booster shot, will travel.
 |
| Kilkenny's |
Our journey continued down Main Street and
bagged a right down the alley to the Kilkenny Pub where we set up shop in the dart
board end of this venerable establishment. More high school classmates joined
us although we did lose one of our number. He planned on rejoining us at the
next bar but explained he had ben banned for life from Kilkenny’s. He claimed it
was due to an incident where he wasn’t buying enough beer while playing pool. None
of us thought this reached the permanent exile point and he eventually admitted
to threatening to beat up the manager as well. We had a very good time at
Kilkenny’s despite his absence although my Favorite Son dominated everybody in
darts. I found it interesting to see the advancing effects of demon alcohol on
my targeting ability.
 |
| Pour House |
 |
| Family End of Table at Pour House |
The next and last official stop on the
crawl was the Pour House at the head of the square. I was instantly placed in
possession of a BFB, an acronym for a very large beer (you figure it out). We
were able to spread out and truly enjoy the comradery. It almost seemed like
the floor tilted in our direction as the rest of the much younger crowd seemed
stunned at the bunch of gray-haired patrons seemed to be having the best time
of anybody in the bar. At some point a couple very generous members of the groups
arranged for a massive amount of food to show up which had a very short shelf
life. We actually finished up a little later than prior crawls, even though we
patronized fewer bars, a benefit of the slower pace with more time in each pub.
 |
| Interesting Warning Sign at Pour House |
 |
Yes, That is Cantankerous Friend
Careful not to Violate Warning |
In the early evening we declared victory
and invited everybody to Penuche’s Ale House, which was finally open, for the official
after party. There was no way a Keene Pub Crawl could not involve Penuche’s. My
Kindergarten Classmate rejoined us at this point as we wound down from the very
fun day. My Favorite Panamanian showed up for the first time in the crawl, having
completed her rampage through the local tax free shopping grounds. The group
was still fairly prodigious in size and Keene Friend was getting a little
nervous that his house, our next stop, could hold everybody but his fears
turned out to be unwarranted. We ended the night at his house for more beverages
and a birthday cake for Pittsburgh College Roommate and myself. I armed myself
with Bonecrusher for that crucial first cut. I’m not sure it was smart to arm
me with this length of steel after so many beers but everybody survived.
 |
| Penuche's After Party |
On the way to Penuche’s, I checked into
our hotel on Main Street. As usual I didnt want the day to end but, as with most
nearly perfect days, it flew by. We demolished too much pizza and birthday cake
until almost 11 o’clock which is well after Keene Friend’s usual bedtime but he
was more than game. Taking pity on Keene Friend, my Favorite Panamanian bundled
both my son and I into the car and drove us to our hotels. Like I said, almost
a perfect day, due directly to the fantastic people I was blessed to spend it
with. Blissful state, indeed. I owe a heartfelt thank you to all who showed up and their loved ones who put up with whatever the aftermath brought.
 |
| Bonecrusher Appears |
 |
| Notice How Careful my Favorite Panamanian is |
 |
| She thought I Swung too Hard |
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RECURRING CHARACTERS
BR3 – Blog Reader #3 – granddaughter #3, BRS - Blog Reader the Sequel - second granddaughter; FBR - First Blog Reader - first
granddaughter, ABFA – Amazing Best
Family Athlete = my daughter in law; Wingman – my son in law; Wingmom – Wingman’s mom, of course; Keene Friends 1 & 2 – friends since
high school from my home town of Keene, NH; Soxfather - my brother in law; Great
Aunt - my elder sister; Cantankerous Friend – friend since grade school who likes to argue
about everything, poses as radical leftist to attract women; Kindergarten Friend – friend since kindergarten
whom I reunited with after many years; Pittsburgh
College Roommate– high school friend, also a “Minor Celebrity” in
Pittsburgh; Deckzilla – our backyard
deck which grew to monstrous dimensions once my wife got involved in planning; Maine and Virginia Musqueteras – two
close friends of my wife – her US sisters, my wife is the 3rd musquetera
(musketeer); Riggins - also known as
the Grandpuppy, son's dog; PanaGals
– female relatives /friends of my wife from Panama; Panamanian/Latin Mafia – inevitable group of Latino friends my wife
accumulates wherever we have lived & their spouses; Neighborhood Mafioso - wife's close friend and Panamanian mafia
member, Favorite Panamanian - the
wife (of course); First Friday –
celebrations to mark the First Friday of the Week; Curbside Girls – close friends of my daughter acquired during her
single days in Brooklyn
