2013 Movie Highs and Lows

Another great year in movies of which I am an unrepentant conspicuous consumer.  If you read this blog regularly then you know I am a shameless movie nut.  This list was culled from only the movies I went to see. I know there are a bunch of movies that are worthy that I haven’t seen yet( my daughter is the one who likes the movies with a conscience – I like seeing things blow up).  I’ve also included what I considered to be the worst movies of the year, because that’s almost more fun. 

Top Ten for 2013

1.  About Time – I know you can look at the rest of this list and be semi-amazed that I selected a romantic comedy as the best film of the year.  I’m a little surprised myself but this film about a young man who discovered a hereditary ability to travel in time (alright so it did have some low key sci fi) is so poignant as he tries to “get it right” with the girl of his dreams and a doting father.  Great flick.

2.  Gravity – A movie that will make you feel the cold of space as Sandra Bullock ably carries the entire movie as a stranded astronaut struggling to survive a disaster in orbit.  I feel colder just thinking about it.

3.  Warm Bodies – who would have thought a retelling of the Romeo and Juliet story amidst a zombie apocalypse would work so well but it does.  Romeo is one of the undead trying to woo his zombie killing Juliet while her family struggles to accept the attraction. Rob Cordray has some of the funniest lines of the year in a supporting role.

4.  Ironman 3 – this third movie returns to the roots of the first which made it so compelling. I also liked the seemingly end of the series before it became stale and the special effects – especially during the climatic battle just plain - rock!

5.  Star Trek Into Darkness – it’s tough to follow up a huge success, especially given the legions of Star Trek fans (guilty) and their expectations.  This movie delivers and fleshes out the characters of the original series in compelling and interesting new directions.

6.  World War Z – More zombies, a lot more and an interesting take on what a real world response to this fantastical threat might be.  Brad Pitt effortlessly carries a complicated story throughout the movie and the zombies scared the bejesus out of me.

7.  The Heat– a female buddy cop movie that works so well.  Sandra Bullock (again) and Melissa McCarthy are perfect foils for each other in a movie that had me laughing to the point of personal embarrassment – just too funny.

8.  Pacific Rim – giant robots fighting Godzilla sized dinosaurs – I’m in.  In addition to startling good special effects this movie had a lot of heart, not to mention Idris Elba, which is always a good sign

9.  Elysium – a very smart science fiction flick that tries to expose the growing rift in today’s world about the separation between the have and the have-nots.  Matt Damon is special as a dying car thief charged with saving the have-nots from a coolly evil Jody Foster.

10.  Hobbit – The Desolation of Smaug – While I liked the first installment, I loved this second movie, probably due to the lack of Gollum time.  Peter Jackson has taken film technology forward again with a remarkably sharp picture and his usual awesome special effects.

This list was tough to make up because there were so many great movies worth considering this year in terms of quality.  The following movies made it to the final cut, in no particular order:

Honorable Mention:

I So Know the Feeling!

The World’s End – a movie about a pub crawl, beer drinking, and friendship.  It had me at pub crawl.

Olympus Has Fallen – the White House had a bad year being taken down twice by terrorists in cinema – this Gerard Butler one was clearly superior

Man of Steel – interesting new take on the old Kal-El legend

Hunger Games:  Catching Fire – Much better than the first as Jennifer Lawrence proves she can do anything.

Thor the Dark World – another Avengers winner with Hemsworth proving he’s more than a pretty face even when Loki steals everything (including every scene he’s in) from him

Ender’s Game – epic science fiction and an iconic sci fi book which probably never stood a chance of satisfying all fans but still is a lot of fun to watch

We’re the Millers – a dark, but very, very funny comedy which proves that Rachel still hasn’t lost all her Friends’ mojo and Jason Sudekis might be the funniest guy in films right now.

American Hustle – Just saw this last night, too funny, shot in Worcester, Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence dominate in gravity defying 1970's dresses as well as the most epic hair piece/comb over in cinema history

Top Comedy:  Warm Bodies

Top Horror Movie:  The Conjuring

Top Drama:  Gravity

Top Romance:  About Time

Top Action:  Ironman 3
 

Best Special Effects:  Hobbit Desolation of Smaug

Worst Movies/ Biggest Disappointments.  I won’t mention Machete Kills because that’s kind of supposed to be bad as a takeoff on B Movies.  The movies below don’t have that excuse;

If We Could Only Have Covered Our Eyes As Well

The Lone Ranger – so, so bad, easily the worst movie of the year.  I don’t know how you screw up this great story but they managed even with Johnny Depp aboard.  The one transcendent moment with the theme music couldn’t save this truly bad flick

Son, We Have to Talk

After Earth – It’s time for Will Smith to sit his son down and tell him he has no future in films.  Charisma and screen presence are obviously not hereditary.  This flick also continued M. Night Shyamalan’s decade long losing streak

The Counselor – so incomprehensibly bad that it boggles the mind, especially given the first rate cast.  You expect dark with Cormac McCarthy but not pointlessness. 

Blount Force Tree Leakage

I almost slept walk through yesterday courtesy of my dancing queen wife’s Saturday night dancing extravaganza.  A fellow cousin pointed out she was going through the same pain of separation after having a Christmastime house full of kids only to have them disappear back to their own lives after the holiday.  She said it was raining and that seemed appropriate given the somber emptiness after so much fun. 

New England decided to fully endow the same feeling when the skies opened up in the early afternoon and we were deluged with almost tropical level rain.  There was nothing tropical about the temperatures though and as my wise cousin pointed out – it seemed almost appropriate.  It did offer a poor man’s car wash as I rotated both cars outside from the garage to rid them of the accumulated road salt.

The last thing to do in this type of freezing ooze is play football but the Patriots didn’t have any choice.  They responded with their typical December flourish and pummeled a Buffalo team that came into the game with visions of resurgence.  The Patriots thoroughly disabused them of that flawed thinking process.

Another Patriots reclamation project, their huge running back Blount, ran the ball over and through the vaunted Buffalo defensive line. They looked almost afraid to tackle the behemoth and by the time he got into the smaller secondary there looked to be some serious cringing going on. This was the last regular season game of the year and by virtue of their win the Pats get to sit around for a couple weeks while their future opponent gets beat on next week.     

The rest of the day’s news was a little more depressing, more in line with my post-Christmas funk.  The water heater seems to have sprung a leak.  When I mentioned this to friends I get a knowing look which eloquently states – this is not good news.  Well at least it’s happening just before all the Christmas gift bills start to arrive.  Ahh – the joy of home ownership!

Basement Leakage

Since I was a little excited about the Patriots big win my wife felt it safe to broach the subject which is always very careful about – taking down the Christmas tree.  I never like this because it seems I’m giving up on Christmas all over again.  She pointed out that I should probably be a little more adult about it as the tree was showing signs of becoming a first class fire hazard.

Okay, So She Might Have Helped a Little (A Lot)

She got me started (properly instructed) and then disappeared for tasks that I did not have a need to know about.  I only broke two ornaments during the process (a new personal record!).  As with every year at this point, I seriously question the wisdom of tinsel which has to be removed so I can recycle the tree.  The damned stuff gets everywhere but it wouldn’t be a Christmas tree without it, so I’m stuck in this endless cycle of post holiday recrimination.

Seems So Empty All of a Sudden

I finally did get the tree back out onto the deck and waded through the ankle deep pine needles to a suddenly bare family room. Buddy helped by charging through the piles of tinsel and needles and my wife miraculously re-appeared to ensure the piles were reassembled and removed.  Thanks Buddy.

Now I’ve got to go find the number for that plumber L. 

Dancing to the End

Well Christmas week certainly did not end with a whimper.  I was in my usual funk on the day I would have to relinquish the company of the last child present with my daughter and son in law’s impending departure.  Fortunately we had one more event on our dance card (unfortunate use of that term – see below) – a post holiday party at the New Hampshire home of the MEF’s parents.

Emergency Nail Polish Surgery Delayed Departure

We would meet the son and MEF there as well so it was a last chance to have the whole family together one more time during the holiday season.  My daughter, in what is a lifelong tradition (compulsion), took the opportunity to mess with her brother.  She texted him that she was already back in NYC when we were five minutes out from the party.  The look on his face when all four of us exited the vehicle derived the sought after look of a brother once again victim to an elder sister’s prank; to the delight of both of them.

Together One Last Time

The party was low key but a lot of fun as we got to meet some more of the MEF’s extended family.  There does not appear to be an end to the excellence – apparently bred bone deep in her family.  Even their cats (well one of them at least) are cool.  Her mother had a scrap book from her father’s World War 2 service in Panama.  It was fascinating to see so many familiar sites staring back from 70 year old photos.  It was a truly enjoyable afternoon that predictably came to an unfortunately early end.  It was so tough to say goodbye but we had a long drive ahead of us.

The Photo Album Review

After the hour and a half drive up to New Hampshire we had to drive three hours down to New Haven, Connecticut to drop off the departing NYC contingent.  Since I had my good luck charms with me this time (wife and daughter) Connecticut was powerless to be a problem and the drive went by flawlessly.  This in itself is a problem because it reduced the amount of time with my daughter and son in law.

As usual the departure at the train station was too quick and hurried as we blocked traffic while they unloaded their gear, swollen from Christmas present excesses.  Just like that – they were gone and the world seemed a little dimmer.  Well at least I had another hour and a half drive home through Connecticut to cheer me up (that’s known as irony folks).

The Hurried Departure - Not Even time for a Needed hug

After six hours of driving I felt a little spent and was looking forward to some serious couch time to wallow in the depressing lack of children in the house.  My wife was having none of that and had arranged a rendezvous with another Panamanian Mafia couple for dancing.  Their mutual hairdresser (the fabulous Luigi of course) was hosting a Christmas party at the center of middle aged Worcester dancing - Maxwell Silverman’s.

Bitching and moaning like a six year old I allowed my wife to cajole me into going.  It helped that she donned her New Year’s Eve dress and looked like a movie star.  We stayed for one free drink at the party and then went downstairs to the dancing where my energizer bunny of a wife soon took up station on the dance floor to twirl her new dress. 

My Inducement to Dance

Maxwell’s is always a great place to people watch and last night was no exception.  We had a seriously short skirt on the dance floor that our friend’s husband and I could not decide the woman was trying to pull down or ease upwards.  Her dance partner’s eyes were glued to the hemline so whatever she was doing had the desired effect.  I won’t even mention (except for the Keene Friend) the simply enormous tracts of land in evidence. 

A Rare Photo of My Wife Away from Dance Floor With the Other Panamanian Mafia Couple

Before either of us realized it we were into Sunday morning and my wife was successfully pried away from the dance floor long enough to drive us home (I might have had a Coors light or three).  This turned out to be exactly what I needed to not focus on the empty house but it was exhausting.  I texted my daughter that I couldn’t believe her mother had me out dancing after midnight after the long day on the road.  She replied, “Wow!!!”.  Eloquent

Blowback Wolfing to End of Keto Vacation

The Christmas week is heading inexorably to its all too soon conclusion as we enter the last day with at least one of the kids in the house.  I took another day off from work yesterday to spend it with my daughter and son in law and we filled it with a typical pursuit – yet another holiday movie.

We went to see The Wolf of Wall Street which is the latest Scorsese and Dicaprio effort.  It purports to tell the story of immoral Wall Street schemer Jordan Belfort and doesn’t skimp on the debauchery that permeated his life.  The movie includes three hours of excessive sex, drugs, and criminal over indulgence (yep – a real holiday movie!).  I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop where he pays for his crimes but that is kind of glossed over.   I think Scorsese is at that point in his career that no one can tell him to pull back a little, one of those “cloth-less emperor” type situations.

The movie itself is pretty entertaining as we see the main character careen through his excesses along with his merry bunch of idiotic enablers.  If we needed another reason to hate Wall Street this movie more than provides that.  All of the acting and direction is top notch although Dicaprio is kind of uneven; so good in some scenes and less so in others.  If you don’t like nudity, swearing, drug use, and general bacchanalia then don’t go see this movie. 

Son in Law and Daughter With Zorba's Pizza

We thankfully didn’t have the wife along for this cinematic adventure for the reasons listed immediately above.  She was swallowed up again with a shopping adventure with a fellow member of the Panamanian Mafia.

My Date and I at Zorba's

She did return in time to escort us all to Zorba’s for our final pizza of the week.  This marked the end of my well spent keto vacation.  I’m almost afraid to check the scale as I come to the end of my own week of excess (calories and carbs, don’t you know).

The Eye Glass Switch

We had such a good time at Zorba’s and at some point decided to switch eye glasses to see what my wife and I looked like with my daughter’s and son in law’s glasses (it made sense at the time!).  The consensus was that I looked like Martin Scorsese (I don’t think this was meant as a compliment).  These are fun people to hang out with and that is going to make today’s departure even more painful.

Buddy Failing at Lap Dog Status

We returned home for yet another movie which didn’t lessen the banter that continued throughout.  Buddy tried once again to masquerade as a lap dog with limited success.  I even got a revenge photo bomb on my son in law who unadvisedly dozed off for a while.  The entire day passed much too quickly for my tastes.  I could have used another sixteen or seventeen hours with this bunch.

Revenge for Christmas Night Bombing

Just before Christmas I finished off my latest Brad Thor thriller, Blowback.  This followed the continued career of his intrepid counter-terrorist par excellence Scot Horvath.  He has to disappear under cover because a ruthless US Senator wants to ruin him.  While he’s on the run he manages to save the country again by thwarting a plot by a resurgent Ottoman Empire using a biological weapon that came from Hannibal (elephants over the Alps guy not the serial killer).

I’ve really come to enjoy Thor’s books as the action is relentless and Horvath is a pretty cool dude. My lone problem is that I become so engrossed in the action that I literally burn through the book and read it so fast that I’m sure I’m missing something.  I guess that means these are pretty good books.  I think by the time I’ve made my scorched earth passage through the Horvath series I’ll have to go back and re-read them; just for a better sense of what I like about them so much.

Road Trip Ronin

The Christmas festivities continued yesterday with the traditional trip up to my hometown to enjoy an evening of friendship at the Keene Friend’s house.  This is a party that grew out of a tradition at my house the day after Christmas.  When my mother became infirm and eventually passed away we transferred the party to his house and it’s become an indelible part of the holiday season for my family ever since.

Since Hollywood decided to release nearly all of its high powered December movies in the last few days we had to schedule a movie as well.  We took in The 47 Ronin which was billed as a Keanu Reeves vehicle but is so much more.  He’s really just a supporting character and seemingly added to appeal to the Western audience.  This is apparently a very old and honored story from Japan about samurai who were treacherously betrayed and fought back to restore their honor. 

There’s some heavy CGI work here with some obvious literary license taken; unless there were eight eyed, elephant sized beasts in feudal Japan along with witches who could transform into dragons.  The detail and pageantry of ancient Japan is breathtaking and the battle scenes are among the best ever made.  The problem is trying to shoe horn in a love story (with Keanu of course) which slows the pace down when it shouldn’t.  My wife hated the ending but it is line with the warrior ethos (bushido) of the samurai, so appropriate, if a little heart rending (literally).

The drive up to Keene was a little more adventuresome than we planned with a few inches of snow thrown down to make the roads a mite slick.  We were not to be denied though.  I wanted to take my son in law, who’s become something of a beer aficionado, to visit the Elm City Brewery which is one of my favorite haunts in Keene. The last few times he’s joined me in Keene I’ve made him climb Mount Monadnock so I felt I owed him an easier visit.  We were joined by my son and the MEF who were also coming to the party.

At The Elm City Brewery Son, MEF, Me, Son in Law

My favorite bartendress was not on duty but it was fun sharing the place with my kids.  We had to stand because there wasn’t any room at the bar but that was almost better because if made conversations easier.  My wife stated she only had to swing by TJ Maxx and return one purchase and she should beat up back to the Keene Friend’s house (righttttttt!!!!)

One Side of the Gathering

My son in law liked the place and we both were able to cast aspersions on my son’s slow approach to beer drinking which he took well.  During the drive back to Keene Friend’s house I was able to point out the legendary establishments that formed the Pub Crawl itinerary.  In a huge surprise my wife had not been able to extricate herself from TJ Maxx and was absent when we arrived.

The party was everything it should be, my family and a bunch of friends from high school and their families just sitting around and catching up.  The Cantankerous One showed up and immediately tried to argue about why he was labeled as cantankerous.  He provided instantaneous and irrefutable proof as to the accuracy of his appellation, which he seems to stake a sort of perverse pride in.  My wife finally appeared and eventually landed a couple of well aimed blows upon his head and shoulders.

There were a total of four members from my high school class at the party and another one was phoned in from Pittsburgh.  The Cantankerous One mentioned that one of the dream girls from our class had commented on Facebook that she wanted to be invited to the next time we got together.  I was volunteered to make the call and of course woke her up as she was gearing up for an early morning rise to go skiing.  She has entirely too much energy as she climbed Monadnock the day before Christmas and makes the rest of us middle aged laggards look bad.  She was a good sport about the telephoned invite and promised to join the next pub crawl.

Keene Friend on left, Wife in White next to my son, MEF Waving Seated Next to My Daughter

The night ended far too soon but since we (or I should say my wife) had a long drive ahead on the snow packed roads we declared victory and headed home.  We had to say our final Christmas farewells to the MEF and son who went their own way.  My wife handled the drive home very adroitly for someone who usually refuses to even contemplate driving in the snow.  Too much fun.

Brimming Spirit Day

Well that was a lot of fun!  Christmas turned out to be everything I hoped for, for most of the day.  It did take a decided turn south in the afternoon when the MEF and son departed for her home.  It gets tough when you have to share; luckily her family is close enough that we can share.

The Fully Stocked Christmas Tree Awaiting Our Attentions

My sister had to leave in the pre-dawn hours to work in Rhode Island.  I got up early to bid her farewell and put the turkey into the oven.  She’s following the family tradition of work as a nurse which impacts severely on holidays.  I think we should forbid people from being sick during the holidays; just a thought.  My brother in law drove her down and when I got up I found him sound asleep in his car in the driveway.  He’d forgotten to leave the door unlocked and didn’t want to wake anybody up when he got back.

The Family

The family finally arose at a much statelier hour than in their younger days which allowed us middle aged guys a respite from bleary eyed gift opening.  There was still a lot of fun opening gifts and seeing the surprise and joy of a well meant gift.

In All My Sartorial Splendor

I was blessed with more than I deserved (13 more movies to watch and lots of lounge pants!) and tried to wear every item of clothes I received at once.  My wife was not amused at my daring fashion choices.  Buddy was the star of the morning, finally getting to open the present that squeaked.  He summarily disemboweled the stuffed squirrel in front of everybody and silenced the squeaker.

Buddy Attacking the Squeaker

After the fun of gift opening we adjourned to the kitchen for mimosas and fried dough; another tradition dating back to my mother.  My daughter ably trained by her grandmother has become a mimosa guru while my wife and I tried to capture my mom’s transcendent ability with fried dough.

Buddy and Bailey Helping Open Gifts

By the time this all concluded it was nearly noontime and my son and the MEF were making disturbing motions towards packing up for departure.  I’d hoped they would be able to hang around for Christmas dinner but that was not to be and I more than understood the MEF’s desire to spend some time with her own parents on Christmas; it still hurt saying goodbye to them though.

Son and MEF, While We Had Them

Another highlight of the day was talking to my younger sister.  She’s finally met a guy that deserves and appreciates her.  They were having a great Christmas and were just finishing off their own session of fried dough and mimosas. 

Daughter Ready for Next Bout

I kind of over achieved with the size of the turkey this year.  It refused to give up and severely impacted on the scheduled dinner time which led to some tension with the wife.  It took a full two and half hours longer than I anticipated to finally succumb.  It still tasted great and the delay allowed my sister to return from Rhode Island to join us.

My Son Got T-Shirts To Mark Our November Pub Crawl

She my sister has celiac disease which means she can’t eat anything with gluten (which must taste great because everything without it tastes like cardboard).  For the last few years I’ve always prepared a separate, gluten free turkey for her.  Since the big bird had taken so long to finish, the second turkey wasn’t ready and continued to cook while we sat down to dinner.

Son in Law and Daughter

We were completely stuffed and crawled into the family room for some serious digestive work.  My brother in law popped in his gift – the Red Sox World Series video.  We spent the next couple of hours reliving the miraculous Red Sox season together and moved as little as possible.  We were just about done when someone mentioned the other turkey.  I bolted upright, having completely forgotten about the second bird and literally ran into the kitchen to discover what my inattention had wrought.

My Younger Sister - Happily Making Her Own Christmas Dough

In a Christmas miracle or better yet, a mystery, someone, currently unidentified, had turned the oven off just as the turkey was finished.  It had already cooled so it had thankfully happened at least an hour before.  I suspect my wife had something to do with it.

My Daughter Proving Her Mimosa Credentials

The Keene Friend finally pulled in late in the evening so there was another round of gift giving and sly humorous comments.  He has a number of places he visits on Christmas day where he’s become part of the holiday tradition for several families.  We got him last but kept him overnight.  My sister and her family had to depart later in the evening (something about having to work today).

The Troublesome Turkey Surrendering

The remaining crew settled down once more to watch a movie.  It had already been a long day for the two senior members of the crew and after a couple bottles of demon alcohol we might have dozed off for a while.  The daughter and son in law had a lot of fun pointing out our lack of consciousness but we did rally to see the end of the flick.

My Son in Law Enjoying the Keene Friend's and My Lack of Staying Power
I Apparently Fell Asleep Praying for More

A great day of Christmas traditions, family, recalcitrant turkeys but most of all surrounded by the people I love.  Pretty cool.