Pain is For Wimps

My older sister is undergoing knee surgery today.  She’s been walking around and working as a nurse with some significant knee pain for a while now.  I’m glad she’s getting it addressed, I’ve had two knee operations, including a reconstruction so I know the benefits.  She and I share a family trait where we have a fairly high tolerance for pain.  Both of us walked around with burst appendix before finally going in and getting appendectomies.  Mine happened when I was just starting a new class in a military school.  I was away from the family and felt pretty bad.  During the break each hour I crawled under the table and tried to ease the pain.  Late that night my roommate finally forced me to go the emergency room and I was in surgery within thirty minutes.  When I woke up in the recovery room I remember the first message I got was from my sister.  She had been through the same thing a few years before.  This happened on a Thursday night and I was discharged from the hospital on Sunday.  On Monday morning I was back in class because I didn’t want to get recycled and forced to stay away from the family longer.  It was painful but tolerable.  We’ve always been that way – shrugging off things that other people have trouble dealing with - pain wise.  My wife could not be more different – the slightest illness or pain requires immediate medical attention.  She’s the smarter of the two of us.  I’m a product of the Army and the infantry officer culture where pain was looked upon as weakness – not to be tolerated.  We were expected to tolerate pain and set the example in a very tough business.  As a lieutenant I completed a 12 mile timed forced march with ruck sack on a sprained ankle – again not very smart – but expected.  This was something that permeates the infantry culture – you’re letting down the team if you acknowledge your body’s weakness.  I know my wife worries about me precisely because I tend to ignore pain.  She’s always pestering me to go to the doctor is she notices the slightest hitch in the way I walk or move.  She knows it hurts worse than I will admit.  This is getting tougher as I get older because there seems to be a new hitch almost daily.  It will probably be what kills me – ignoring something that I shouldn’t have.

Bittersweet Lunch

My Son and That Special Girl

I just got back from having lunch with my son.  He works in an office about twenty minutes from where I work.  We made the effort to get together because he leaves on his big adventure on Friday.  He is taking over as lead engineer on a major construction project in Central Asia.  I could not possibly be more proud of him.  I often compare him to where I was at the same age he is now.  I usually find myself coming up extremely short.  He thrives on the increased responsibility.  He takes such a measured approach to everything, researches all options, and carefully considers where he wants to go – a real engineer.  In that respect he could not be more different that I am.  In most of the important aspects he is very like me.  I enjoyed the lunch immensely because I think we both understood that this would be our last face to face conversation for several months.  He made a real effort to catch me up on everything that was happening.  He certainly seems to have found the girl (young lady) of his dreams.  I like the fact that she sees the real guy – the real person that he is.  He has always been very guarded in letting girlfriends inside to see the real him.  I really like that he lights up when he talks about her.  He still tries to be “cool” but I can see how much she’s touched his soul.  As we were leaving I stayed in the car and watched him drive out, trying to capture every glimpse of him that I could.  I kicked myself because I did not realize what an easy drive from my work this was and why hadn’t I done more of it when he was working so close.  I think I understand now how much my departures affected my family when I was in the military.  I was deployed repeatedly and often for months at a time.  I was usually focused on the job, as my son is now, and took scant time to consider how tough it was on the wife and kids.  Luckily my son is a better man and I truly loved the time we spent together this afternoon.  It was so tough watching him drive away.

Solitary Oscars

Last night I sat down to watch the Academy Awards – usually a night I look forward to with unbridled excitement.  This year was a little different – the nominations were all over the place and went for a lot more of what I refer to as “artsy” movies versus the main stream movies where I dwell.  I was initially very excited to hear that Billy Crystal was back as the host but that lasted for all of about the first five minutes of the show.  Everything has its time and Billy’s has certainly passed.  He’s lost the edge that made him so enjoyable in past Oscar telecasts.  I think, in reality that we, as an audience, have moved on expecting more and Billy was still back in the 1980s.  His opening song was almost unintelligible and none of his jokes hit the mark.  It was kind of sad but in a way it’s almost liberating because I won’t be bemoaning future hosts and wishing Billy would come back.  As I said above, this year was different – usually I’ve got the wife around and she serves as a catalyst for the excitement I feel for the Oscars.  Buddy did try to fill the gap but I found I was much less stoked to watch the show as I have been in the past.  I didn’t even remember the show was on until my wife reminded me on the phone.  We did talk and she said she would call after the show was over.  I stayed up well after 1AM not wanting to miss her call but I guess she fell asleep.  Not that I blame her, the show was not that memorable.  My daughter told me about the big winner, The Artist, and I really tried to see it but it never came to my area.  Since this is Hollywood’s biggest night of the year I think there should be some rules about the type of movie eligible for nomination.  I’ve heard nothing but good things about this movie but it was only available in a limited release.  That’s what we have the independent movie awards for – Oscars should be reserved for the big, Hollywood movies.  These things go in cycles and I think we’re currently going through the periodic cycle where the academy takes itself a little too seriously and forgets they are in a mass appeal business.  More shows like last night and they’ll start becoming irrelevant to most of us which would be a shame.  Hollywood was built on glamour and over the top showmanship – that was missing last night.  The best part of the show was the female cast from the Bridesmaids – incredibly funny.   I liked the fact the Streep won again, she is so good and I think has been passed over in other nominations where she deserved to win because she’s won before.  She also gave the best speech of the night – a total class act.  I also enjoyed Emma Stone, Will Ferrell, Zach Galifinakis, and Robert Downey Jr. who were all hilarious but the rest of the show was kind of blah. I also thought the In Memoriam section was poorly done, showing pictures instead of clips for most of the deceased.  These were stars of a moving medium and were reduced to posters instead - big mistake.  I missed being able to share the show last night – I guess I learned that the sharing is what makes it fun for me.  Next year I’ll host my own Oscar party if that’s what it takes!

Well Done!

The Return of Buddy!

The Wonder Pooch Returns

My friend and I traveled to Rhode Island last night where we received a suitably and typically emotional reception from Buddy, the wonder pooch.  We went out to eat with my sister’s family despite Buddy’s misgivings about letting us out of his sight again.  After dinner we went over to my brother in law’s sister’s house.  We had a simply great time sitting around, swapping stories, opinions, and generally catching up.  I really enjoy just being around these people and having one of my best friends from my home town only made the night better.  The subject of my blog came up and apparently the content provided something of a shock to my brother in law’s sister.  She claims that it was disturbing because at times I wander into opinions on the blog where I appear to have a modicum of sensitivity.  She said this was not part of my personae and that I should stop misleading people forthwith.  I thought this was hilarious and since she is a well-known contrarian, stating things just to get emotional responses and then sitting back to enjoy the carnage, I dismissed her concerns.  It was a good night.  This morning Buddy and I went for one of our long walks in the woods where I can let him off the leash and he generally frolics.  He’s become so good at coming back when called that I enjoy the walks, almost as much as he does.  Today will be a very busy day as I have home repairs (new window installation), supermarket foray, dog wash (mud from the walk), food prep for the week, and some rest.

Buddy Reconning the Trail for Me

Buddy Out Front on Our Walk This Morning

Mission Complete



Bus Inspection Station Where I Spent Most of Week

I returned home last night from my week long adventures near San Francisco.  We had one last bus to inspect in the morning before heading to the airport.  The turkey came out to say goodbye with one last attack but I think he knew we were leaving because he posed for a last picture in the midst of his attack (see below).  The trip back went without problem although I’m still not sold on Jet Blue.  They didn’t issue us seat assignments because there were two of us travelling on the same booking.  I didn’t realize this required some sort of magic computer algorithm but we didn’t get seat assignments until the they were actually boarding.  Again, there was no food served on this six hour flight so my plan was to buy something in the shops that are ubiquitous in all terminals, right?  Well, Jet Blue in San Francisco is located in the international terminal and for some reason I guess international travelers don’t spend a lot on food because the pickings were extremely thin.  I ended up with a pizza for lunch and then a box of Chips Ahoy for the flight.  The only redeeming value was the personal TV for each seat which really helped the flight pass by.  We were coming into Boston through a blinding snow storm and I was actually excited and planning on how I was going to get the snow blower out.  However, when we got within 100 feet of the ground everything turned over to rain. My favorite toy remains sadly inactive.  The limo company was a little late showing up and we had to navigate around a truly impressive pool of vomit outside the door.  So my trip started and ended with some regurgitation. The van finally showed up but after getting through Boston I was transferred to my own personal limousine – I even got to ride in the back seat.  I was totally impressed with myself but of course it was almost 11 o’clock at night so none of the neighbors witnessed my faux affluence.  I returned to an empty house which was kind of a downer.  I talked to the wife on the phone and that helped a little bit.  This morning I spoke with her again and made the mistake of saying how empty the house with without Buddy around.  After a dramatic pause to gather her strength she reminded me that she also was not present and why did I miss the dog more than her.  So I have that to recover from.  Today is massive catch up day, paying bills, cleaning house, watering the jungle of plants and finally heading down for the house filling presence of Buddy.  My friend is joining me for the trip down to RI and we’re planning on hitting a movie on the way down and maybe consuming a beer or three.  It was a nice trip but it’s good to be home – just wish the house was fuller – most especially with the illuminating presence of my wife (and the comeback begins).

Bus Axles Outside the Assembly Line at the Gillig Factory

The Last Bus We Inspected




Ripped Pants from Zip Line

Attack Turkey Says Good Bye

   

Ripping and Zipping in the Redwoods

Today's Turkey Attack

Attacking the Bus

The California adventure continued today.  A full morning spent inspecting buses and surviving yet another turkey attack.  He is relentless.  We finished up and headed back to the Santa Cruz Mountains for a date with the zip lines.  While driving down there we stopped for lunch at the only appropriate place for this burger centric trip.  Those of you who love hamburgers know that I am talking about - the sun center of burgerdom – Fudruckers!!!!!!  Needless to say this was a truly spectacular lunch and we were exposed to some new beverage technology.  This is appropriate since we were in Silicon Valley.  We were given glasses for the ordered soft drinks and were looking around for the dispenser.  Finally I noticed what looked like an ice machine with all the soda trademarks on the sign.  Feeling adventurous I touched the sign for diet coke and the entire sign changed over to that.  I pushed an unlabeled button below and was rewarded with the desired beverage.  I was so proud of myself for figuring this out without instructions – life is made up of small victories and this was one of them.  We were a little early arriving so we kind of wandered through some of the small towns in the mountains.  I was struck by how beautiful the forest was and how the houses seemed to be fading into the surrounding terrain.  Most were cut into the hillside and were covered with pine needles.  There was also a very strong odor of weed wafting through the trees – a very California moment. We arrived at the Redwood Canopy Tours for a two hour tour through the tops of some 800 year old trees.  I had changed from my work clothes into some rugged jeans to protect the work clothes.  I sat down on a rock to fill out the form where you promise not to sue them if you are damaged during the tour.  When I stood up I heard a loud rip and felt some breeze on my now exposed underwear.  My new jeans had failed miserably in the seat area.  If I was a superstitious guy I might have been nervous about the upcoming adventure.  Not being superstitious – I was just royally pissed off.  Luckily I still had the work pants in the car and quickly changed to save my fellow adventurers from serial views of my underwear.   The tour was so much fun as we were connecting to wires and sped from tree top to tree top.  There were platforms at each ending and we ended up as high as 150 feet above the ground.  There were six people in our group, 2 teachers, both named Lindsay, from just up the road in Massachusetts from us.  There was also a mother and son, Latinos, that really reminded me of my wife, the mother that is – full of life and energy.  The guides took good care of us and also delivered really fascinating nature talks at each platform.  It was a glorious day weather-wise and I truly enjoyed soaring through the trees.  It was something I probably wouldn’t do if I was visiting with my wife because she has a bad vertebra in her neck.  I captured some pictures taken by other people at the zip line course, to show what we did.  Today was a very good day.

Cali Home in Weed Country

Longest Ride on the Left after Walking Across this Bridge

This was So Much Fun!



Great Day in the Tree Tops!

De-Hooterized in San Francisco

The Attack Turkey Of Hayward, CA From Yesterday's Post

Another day in California inspecting buses and dodging turkeys, luckily there was enough time left in the day to head over to San Francisco for the afternoon. The inspection ended about 11:30 so my coworker and I headed across the bay.  We passed by the headquarters of my son’s company and I felt good that I was seeing a place that I know he had been to, for some reason I felt a little connected to him.  We passed down the Embarcadero and had lunch near the famous Fisherman’s Wharf. My coworker, a mechanic who provides the technical expertise needed for the bus inspections, had his heart set on eating at a Hooters he saw on earlier trips.  On these earlier trips he was accompanied by a fairly devout Muslim manager who would not be caught dead in a place like Hooters.  I am extraordinarily less devout and felt it was my duty as an enlightened manager to accompany the mechanic on his culinary quest.  He was heartbroken when we arrived and learned that the Hooters had been closed in December.  I was surprised that it had ever existed in such a politically correct location as S.F.  We were lucky in that there was an In and Out right next door which serves exceptional hamburgers, that theme again.  We spent some time wandering around Ghirardelli Square and the wharf before getting back in the car.  I had never been across the Golden Gate Bridge so we drove over and stopped on the northern side.  We then took a round about way back to the hotel passing Sausalito, the infamous San Quentin Prison, Berkley, Oakland, and several places I remember from Dirty Harry movies.  It was a good day, even without the hooters.


Fisherman's Wharf



Sea Lions at the Wharf



Street Cars Near Ghirardelli Square

Standing Just North of Golden Gate Bridge

Sailor Statue for my Retired Navy Friend

Turkey Trot Inspection and Skeleton De-Closeting

I’m still out in Cali and finally got to work today.  I have to check out some new buses our company is buying.  This involves an extremely detailed inspection checklist, several test drives, and some environmental tests.  We were out on one of the test drives when the driver started laughing and pointing out the side of the bus, then stopped for a brake test.  I saw what I thought was a huge lawn ornament in front of a corporate headquarters which then moved, the ornament not the headquarters.  It was an extremely large turkey, fully puffed out and seemingly really pissed at the bus.  The driver said he was kind of a mascot that showed up when they were driving on this road and really didn’t like buses.  It was strange because this was in a heavily industrialized area just south of Oakland and right next to an eight lane highway but here was this turkey.  He chased the bus as we pulled out and was really impressive, I asked the bus driver how fast we were going and he made it up to 15 miles an hour before the turkey gave up.  There was nothing in the checklist about being able to out run an angry turkey but I gave it credit for it.  I was checking out Facebook and found a message from a very old girlfriend.  We only dated for a couple of weeks but it was one of the seminal moments of my life.  She was the gal who I broke up with my first fiancé with to date.  It was important because this sent me on a totally different path with my life.  I eventually met the girl I was supposed to marry – my current wife.  We hadn’t talked in over thirty years and I guess we still haven't because we just exchanged a couple of text messages.  She has been married for over twenty years herself and lives in Belgium.  It was kind of neat but more than anything else confirmed the decisions I made that led me to where I am and who I am with.  See the pictures below from my road trip yesterday; yes I successfully imported the photos from my blackberry.  I really am getting into the electronic age – my daughter will be so proud.

The Redwoods in the Santa Cruz Mountains

Beach at Carmel by the Sea

Pacific Coast Highway near Big Sur

More of the Coast

Road into Big Sur Lined by Redwoods

Lunch Stop in Big Sur

Big Sur Brook with Chairs

Day Off in Cali

Coast Near Big Sur - Even More Majestic in Person - A Dream Realized

It turned out that the factory we were visiting out here in California had today off as a holiday.  This freed my co-worker and I up and we decided to do some sight seeing.  We had both already seen San Francisco so we decided to go zip lining in some redwoods located in the Santa Cruz mountains.  It was a truly scenic drive into the mountains and the redwoods – first time I’d ever seen some and they were extremely majestic.  It turns out that we should have called ahead because the place only operates Thursday through Sunday – I guess I really am in California.  If work turns out okay we may try again on Thursday.  Since we had more time we decided to head south down the Pacific coast.  We drove through Monterrey and then stopped by Carmel by the Sea.  This was extremely beautiful but we didn’t run into former mayor Clint Eastwood.  The town itself had some really striking houses along the equally striking coast.  There did seem to be an epic number of middle aged blonde woman walking dogs though.  I guess this is where California farms out blondes once they reach a certain age, I’m telling you, the place was teeming.  Since we were still short of lunch time I noticed from the map that we were only twenty miles from Big Sur, California.  It has been a life long dream of mine to drive the Pacific Coast Highway through Big Sur and today I got to realize that dream.  I was not disappointed – the vistas were truly breathtaking.  I was awed by the natural beauty and the fact that this has been preserved.  If this was the east coast these areas would have been developed long ago.  We stopped for lunch in Big Sur next to a fireplace and enjoyed another great burger, the culinary theme for this trip.  There was a stream out back that had seats for people to sit in, in the stream.  I just loved the place and the natural beauty so abundant and relatively unspoiled.  A good day.  I’ll post some pictures I took with my blackberry once I figure out how to send them to this computer – baby steps.

One of the Neat Houses in Carmel by the Sea

Jet Blued

I had an interesting trip out to San Francisco yesterday.  My company paid for a limo ride to the airport from home – I felt really special.  The “limo” showed up which was actually a 10 year old van with a driver blessed with a serious body odor problem – I felt less special.  I was the second of three passengers who eventually rode the bus to the airport, about a 60 minute drive.  The guy in the front seat was very uncommunicative and kept opening the window even though it was around 45 degrees outside.  As we were arriving at the Boston Airport, just exiting the Ted Williams tunnel, this guy rolls his window completely down and commences to throw up repeatedly.  I was extremely impressed with the guy’s technique as all of it landed outside the van although mostly along the windows of the van.  The best part was watching the horrified looks of the people getting dropped off at the same place.  Mothers were covering their kids’ eyes and we had no problem finding a parking spot.  The guy, when he finished blowing chunks, apologized profusely  - the first words he had uttered during the trip. I said no problem, I hoped he felt better and I’m just glad he wasn’t flying on my airline today.  This was the first long distance flight I’d taken with Jet Blue and I was not totally impressed.  I loved that each seat has its own television – I was able to watch in its entirety as the Bruins totally blew another game to a weaker team. I thought the plane was much too small for a transcontinental flight – the stewardii (I know they’re not called that anymore) confiscated four of the over head bins for their own stuff and drinks and snacks.  I had the very last seat which was great because it was right next to the bathroom.  I also had a 300 pound woman sitting next to me because her 60 pound daughter wanted to sit next to the window.  She sort of flowed over from her seat to mine and quickly appropriated the joint arm rest.  The only problem was that the controls for my television were on that arm rest.  Whenever she moved the channel would change or the brightness would be adjusted to shine out the TV.  She seemed like a really nice person so I just changed it back without complaining – I thought that would have been a cheesy complaint on my part.  This was a six hour flight and the only food offered was two sodas and a bag of chips.  My coworker arrived and we took the twenty minute train ride to the rental car counter where I was reminded again about Hertz customer service.  The line was really long and as soon as another person joined the line another Hertz rep would take a break – it seemed to be a real correlation.   We eventually got our car and made a trip to Hayward, California, where we’re staying.  It was 10PM local time and 1AM on our body time (east coast time) and we finally got something to eat – there’s a burger joint right across the road.  So the day turned out okay – they were really good burgers and I got the internet up on my work laptop in the hotel.

Frisco Bound

I'm waiting for the airport limo company to come pick me up as I head out to San Francisco for the week.  I don't know if I'll have an reliable internet connection there so this may be the last blog for a few days.  I took Buddy down to my sister's house in Rhode Island last night and the house seems incredibly empty without his manic energy around.  I don't think I could tolerate the separation from the wife over the last few weeks if it hadn't been for his steadfast company.  He'll pick up a bad habit or three during the time he's lavishly spoiled in Rhode Island but he's earned it.  My sister went out of her way to prepare a great meal and I truly enjoyed spending a couple quiet hours with her and her husband.  We may even do another thunder run next Saturday when I go down to pick up Buddy.  I lent my son my usual suitcase last week figuring that my wife had secured a huge supply of spare luggage over the years.  She had, however nothing that was appropriate for this trip.  My son was celebrating a late Valentine's Day with his too excellent girlfriend so I could not reclaim my bag.  I went to the basement and dusted off an old military carry all.  After two trips through the washing machine you could barely smell the mildew any more - I was all set, until I mentioned this to my wife.  She told me that it was completely inappropriate and she wouldn't stand for it.  I told her that she wouldn't be with me and that I would deny any association with her if someone asked about the bag.  I was instructed to go back to the basement where she revealed a secret hiding place for another bag.  A good military wife, she had constituted a reserve which I now could deploy.  The funniest thing is that bag belongs to my son from whom my wife had borrowed it - so turn about was fair play. 

First Fridays

My Daughter Enjoying her Dream Vacation in Paris

My Beautiful Daughter in Front of the Louvre

Getting ready to head out to San Francisco tomorrow.  I'll try blogging from there but that will depend on the Internet connection at the hotel and my ability to configure my work computer to access it.  It will be a good barometer of how far I've progressed with my computer expertise.  Last night I had a great time hoisting a few beers with my boss at a Worcester bar.  This is something we refer to as First Friday - we are celebrating the First Friday of the week.  That gives us a reason to get together at the end of every work week and its a great opportunity to pass on needed messages and coordination that may have been missed during a busy work week.  It's a tradition I brought with me from the military.  When I joined the Army one of the traditions in our infantry battalion was a Friday get together when we were in garrison of all of the officers at the Officers Club.  It was a great experience for a young lieutenant where we could socialize with superior officers without the constraints of the daily military protocol.  I learned so much at these gatherings and infantry officers can drink a lot of beer.  I carried this tradition forward with me to every military assignment I had and it continued to pay benefits even when I became the senior officer passing time and experience with the younger officers.  I have always enjoyed these times and have continued doing them as a civilian if I can find willing participants.  Civilians can't do it on a weekly basis but we have started a nice little tradition where a lot of work and coordination takes place.  My sister was the recipient of many an entertaining phone call from me over the years when my wife was driving me home from one of my First Fridays.  For me there's something special about the taste of beer on Friday but the best benefit is the camaraderie with the people you spend most of your waking hours during the week with.  If you're lucky, as I am, you look forward to spending time with these people.

Globe Trotting Family

Way to Go, Kiddo!!!

As I sat in the empty house last night, although any house with Buddy in residence should not be considered empty, I reflected at how far flung the family currently was.  My daughter landed in Paris yesterday.  Her husband surprised her with a romantic trip fulfilling a long held dream of hers.  She was reviewing all the Paris based films that she loved to map out an itinerary.  My son, an engineer, was in Washington DC meeting with the State Department preparing to head over to Asia for a construction project.  My wife is down in her native Panama dealing with Indian uprisings and preparing for our 30^th wedding anniversary which is apparently going to be a big deal.  As Buddy and I sat contemplating this wide separation I thought back to my Army career when I was the one always heading out for exotic locations while the family stayed at home.  One of the reasons I joined the Army was to get out and see the world and I certainly accomplished that.  I wanted to get back to New England precisely because that wander lust had been sated.  So I guess it’s the rest of my family’s turn to explore.  I couldn’t be happier for them.  I sit minding the home front which is what they did so often during my military career.  I’m getting good at puzzles, I finished another one Wednesday night, Buddy didn’t eat any of this one.  It’s kind of scary that I only started this 1000 piece puzzle on Sunday night and worked on it after getting home each night.  Maybe I do have too much time on my hands if I’m getting this good at it.  I do enjoy coming home every night, I owe it to a family who made so many sacrifices during my globe trotting days.  Oh yeah, I head to San Francisco on Sunday for a week long business trip.  So it goes. 

Latest Puzzle - Another Black Lab - Buddy Approves

Fashion Challenged

One of the big surprises I had when I retired was how poor my fashion sense was.  In the Army it was so easy – I knew exactly what to wear to work every day – the decision was made for me.  I just had to know what uniform to put on.   Now every morning I have to choose what color tie goes with what color shirt and trousers – its all very daunting.  I have really noticed this since my wife has been away for the last few weeks.  She always made the choices for me and ensured I didn’t make a fashion spectacle of myself heading to work having made unfortunate wardrobe choices.  Obviously I had my own civilian clothes while in the Army but I noticed that after a few years of marriage that all my clothes were ones that my wife bought for me.  I think she decided early in our marriage that I had absolutely no fashion sense.  I think it was the cowboy boots I was wearing.  While I was never a fashion explosion I didn’t realize I was so bad at it.  My wife did and to her credit she didn’t just come out and tell me.  Over the years all my bachelor clothes gradually disappeared to be replaced with her choices.  To honest I’d never cared real deeply about what I was wearing -  hmmm – maybe the source of the problem.  I know that if I’m going out with the wife that I should get dressed in time for her to do a surreptitious inspection.  Most of the few fights we now have are about my stubbornness – refusing to change clothes she has found unacceptable.  She always wins because I’ve realized she really does know better.  We still have the fights though – I can’t have her realizing how much control I’ve ceded to her.   So in the final analysis The Army crippled my fashion sense and my wife eradicated what little I did have – Thank God.

Whitney – What a Waste

Choices Made

We lost a true talent this past weekend when Whitney Houston passed on.  We really lost her more than a decade ago when she allowed herself to descend into the drug filled and indulgent lifestyle that apparently led to her demise.  She was never the same after she hooked up with Bobby Brown.  Anybody who’s read my blog before knows how I feel about America’s obsession with celebrity.  The celebrity cult has enabled people who are blessed with talent in a certain area, be it acting, sports, or singing to be afforded a status in our society that does not reflect their truth worth as people.  Houston is a perfect example of this as we now have to endure the breathless media coverage and speculation surrounding her life and death.  She was a "has been" who made some terrible choices in her life and she shouldn’t be lionized simply because she could hit some musical notes in her youth.  She is an object lesson in the excesses of the celebrity cult and rampant entitlement that accompanies it.  I was a huge fan of hers and truly marveled at her singing voice.   Despite this God given talent, as an adult, she chose to indulge in drugs that ravaged both her singing voice and her health.  I truly hope she has found the peace that apparently eluded her over the past years but she wasn’t a victim – she made the choices that led to her death.  America’s celebrity cult created an environment where this talented young person felt she could ignore laws and indulge in activities that would have landed an everyday person behind bars.  


Choices Ahead

Valentine’s Day Surprise

Well today is Valentine’s Day or what should rightly be called “Hallmark Day” as an artificially created day of romance to sell more card and roses.  What the heck, it works for me – the world can always use a little more romance.  My biggest problem has always been that my wife’s birthday falls two days before Valentine’s Day so when I go to buy her roses (her personal kryptonite) the prices are always artificially jacked up because of the holiday.  Today promised to be a little more subdued because my valentine is a couple of thousand miles away.  She was burning up the internet and telephone lines last night talking with friends and family from her command center in Panama.  I was called upon to coordinate some of these efforts but for the most part was politely asked to stay out of the way.  She wanted to talk with me this morning so I carried the special phone we have, a dedicated line to Panama, with me as I went through my early morning routine.  When she called I was consulting with Buddy about some of the news in the newspaper.  She directed me to a spare bedroom where she had hidden a Valentine’s Day card before she left a few weeks ago.  I was very touched by this because I knew what a whirlwind her last few days in country had been.  She also left a huge chocolate kiss (my kryptonite).  She is usually the one blocking me from eating chocolate; I believe it has something to do with my health, so this was an added surprise.  In the lonely times in the house this was a very nice change of pace.  She may be a long way from me right now but she’s still my valentine and now I have a huge piece of chocolate (well ¾ of a huge piece of chocolate) to help pass the time.  Thank you sweetheart. 

My Valentine

Feliz Cumpleanos Mi Amor



The Birthday Gal - With Devastating Eyes

Yesterday was my wife’s birthday.  She’s down in Panama for an extended visit with her family and was able to celebrate with her twin sister.  I really miss her and yesterday was probably the worst for me but I was so happy she was able to party with her great family.  I saw some pictures today on face book from the birthday party and it looks like it was a lot of fun.  I still remember the first time I realized I was in love with this lady.  It was on our second date, the day after I met her.  She was turning around to say something to me and she was bubbling, full of life and her eyes were just flashing.  My heart melted and even though it’s been over thirty years she can still do that to me with her eyes.  The next day, on our third date, I asked her to marry me.  We’ve had an incredible journey together.  Neither of us really spoke the other’s language that well when we met, but we figured it out.  When I think back on her courage of marrying a foreigner and then moving away from her family and culture, following me all over the world while raising two kids, I’m a little bit in awe.  She is so full of life and one of those people you just gravitate towards.  I often introduce myself as her husband because she is so gregarious and outgoing that she’s usually made friends with you even though you just met.  I admire her courage – she defended our kids with an almost blind fury if she thought they had been wronged.  She also has an incredible compassion for the downtrodden.  Each month I find we have contributed to some new charity and she goes out of her way to assist whenever the opportunity presents itself.  While down in Panama a couple of weeks ago, the Indians staged a huge protest closing down the Pan-American Highway for over a week because the government had granted mining licenses in their native lands.  The police eventually pushed them out and there was some bloodshed.  Even though this led to some deprivations in her home town she was solidly behind them.  They had a gathering in the center of her home town that she happened upon and she joined them immediately.  I was concerned for her safety and had to gently remind her that this was not the U.S. and she should be careful.  She scoffed and said she was doing what was right.  She’s an incredible woman and I’m lucky she’s let me hang around her for the last thirty years.  Happy Birthday Querida, Te Amo! 

The Birthday Party in Panama - She and Her Twin Holding the Pinata

Rhode Island Thunder Run

Myself and my Two Friends Flanking My Son at the Irish Bar

Two of my best friends showed up yesterday and along with my son we headed down to Rhode Island for dinner at my sister’s house.  It was a great gathering of old friends and the food was awesome.  Since my wife wasn’t with us I was able to get seconds and a huge piece of Death By Chocolate cake.  I’ll have to pay for that infraction by working out a little more this week.  We then moved out for one of my favorite activities – an evening in a neighborhood Irish bar with my brother in law’s tremendous family.  We’ve done this repeatedly since I returned to New England and I always look forward to these evenings.  This time was even more fun since I had both my son and my friends with us.  It was a great evening of fellowship and poking fun at one another.  I was so pleased that my son would actually consider this fun; rare to find someone his age willing to spend a Saturday evening hanging out with his father and friends.  My brother in law’s family is so much fun – just exceptional people.  It’s special to have friends you can hang out with and there is rarely a quiet moment as the conversation ranges across a truly eclectic range of subjects – none without some hearty humor injected.  Technology is catching up to our generation.  I know I’ve commented before about the times I’ve seen groups of my kids’ friends gathered and no one is talking but have their faces buried in their smart phones.  A couple of times last night we caught ourselves doing the same thing.  One of the subjects discussed was that the instant access to information greatly reduced the old tradition of bar room arguments about trivia.  Now we can get instant answers about who is right.  Last night it was a discussion about the two John Wayne movies that are virtually the same movie, Rio Bravo and El Dorado.  Inside of twenty seconds my son had answers to the point of discussion and a complete cast listed out.  I know if it had been someone from my generation it would have taken a lot longer.  I ended up drinking way too much beer but I was truly caught up in the spirit of the night.  One of my friends had generously consented to be the designated driver.  We all got up a little slowly this morning but as we discussed it a little bit of the magic of the night before was still present – a really good time. 

My Sister on the Right, My Brother In Law and Some of Best People in the World